₦airaland Forum

I came across a thread yesterday about this guy who told us his story of how he deflowered a girl, got her pregnant in the process, and ended up with an abortion that almost took her life, many years later he wanted to quit the relationship for reasons best known to him while the girl, now turned lady is insisting that they get married.
I also noticed how our female folks and most guys here came for him with all manner of vituperations, laying curses on him and some even threatening to circulate his pictures and ridicule him futher.

Now my question is, does dating and having sex with a girl for a long period guarantee her the position of a wife? My answer..capital NO.
I dont support abortion, thats where am condemning him, but its high time some people, most especially our female folks should stop seeing relationship as a one sided thing.

Any girl /lady can discern if a relationship has a future or not, and nothing stops her from taking the next available exit whenever she is tired or fancy a better lover.
We men invest handsomely in relationships too, and no matter how long we choose to be in it, if you are not the marriage type, certainly i reserve the rights to look elsewhere irrespective of the marathon sex we have been engaging in over those years.
The reason for courtship is to study your partners character, and courtship has no time limit, if you discover that your boyfriend isnt making any plans to marry you after a long period of courtship, abeg you also reserve the rights to find your own way.

I dont think most people who commented on that post yesterday and are still commenting up to this hour understands the fundamentals of marriage.

Marriage is not built on how many years you guys has been together with or without sex,, neither is it on sentiments due to past mistakes incured while on the course of that relationship. Marriage is Marriage, it is about the future happiness and peace of everyone concerned including the children if any, and all respective in-laws.
Secondly i wonder why most of our ladies think they are the only one investing in a relationship. It run both ways, thats the reason any partner who feels shortchanged or tired reserves the right to quit.

No man wants to be unhappy in his marriage life.. and the worst mistake any man can make is to get married based on sentiments because when" the chicken finally comes home to roost," the problems wont be with the couples only anymore, this time it will be spread among their respective fathers,mothers, children,etc even communities.

So my advice to young single men as a married man is to shine your eyes well well bro..it doesnt matter how long you have dated or sexed together, if you found out she will give you wahala, bros carry wetin you carry come go.

To be fore warned is to be fore armed( i hope i gat this expression right, correct me if am mistaken).

GOING BY YOUR IDEOLOGY lets not omit that if you would not COMMIT to marriage then do not ENGAGE IN SEX. Sex before marriage is Like eating before you pay for the food. then half way claiming its not worth it...... GUY YOU MUST PAY COMPLETE. Cos ladies are not tools. They are not also as Logical as guys but thanks to movies n music ladies have been portrayed as sex tools that will believe any good talk u can tell them as long as you gat cash or style or sweet mouth.

BUT that is so far from the truth.... do you know KARMA is real and payback is a BIATCH? listen you damaged another man's future wife and hope your own will be preserved and yes you may find a preserved lady but your daughters will face exactly what u did to other women.... so be careful. Why UnCloth if you do not like her content.. its sad but we have to be careful. Sex is more than just poking into holes.

Useless thread from an offspring of an orangutan!

There they go again..i hope you mean a heterosexual relationship that involves the opposite sexes @ greatnaija01, what makes you think that women alone are basically exploited in a heterosexual relationship as you are making me to believe.

Mtcheew!
This should be dropped in the trash can.

A man that bleeps around is a master key
But a lady the bleeps around is either a slut or a gold digger.

Yet you see no stupidity and wickedness in what the OP did. After drilling her for 10 years?

So for 10 years he couldnt decide if he wanted her or not? Btw, not all lady's can discern deceitful men like OP.

It is boys like you that would go beat up the OP if it were your sister in the picture.

How can he open his mouth to vomit that nonsense...After wasting her time for 10 good years

That is why pre marital sex is wrong.
Assuming she didn't open her legs for that fool..he wouldn't have come up with that his useless story

women are not men.... they are weaker n very fragile..... so they always need to be protected. Women who fall prey to premarital sex had a default damage from home where their fathers (if alive) had failed to be the HERO and CONFIDANT of their daughters.

MALES are born to be protectors cos we can take care of ourselves BUT Females are BORN TO BE PROTECTED cos they can multiply anything they have to immeasurable proportions e.g hurt, pain, money, sex, mindset, sperm etc

hope u get my gist?

Randyhot:
There they go again..i hope you mean a heterosexual relationship that involves the opposite sexes @ greatnaija01, what makes you think that women alone are basically exploited in a heterosexual relationship as you are making me to believe.

greatnaija01:
GOING BY YOUR IDEOLOGY lets not omit that if you would not COMMIT to marriage then do not ENGAGE IN SEX. Sex before marriage is Like eating before you pay for the food. then half way claiming its not worth it...... GUY YOU MUST PAY COMPLETE. Cos ladies are not tools. They are not also as Logical as guys but thanks to movies n music ladies have been portrayed as sex tools that will believe any good talk u can tell them as long as you gat cash or style or sweet mouth.

BUT that is so far from the truth.... do you know KARMA is real and payback is a BIATCH? listen you damaged another man's future wife and hope your own will be preserved and yes you may find a preserved lady but your daughters will face exactly what u did to other women.... so be careful. Why UnCloth if you do not like her content.. its sad but we have to be careful. Sex is more than just poking into holes.

I understand your point but the issue is, does having sex between unmarried people only beneficial to the guy only? this issue must be ironed out

greatnaija01:
women are not men.... they are weaker n very fragile..... so they always need to be protected. Women who fall prey to premarital sex had a default damage from home where their fathers (if alive) had failed to be the HERO and CONFIDANT of their daughters.

MALES are born to be protectors cos we can take care of ourselves BUT Females are BORN TO BE PROTECTED cos they can multiply anything they have to immeasurable proportions e.g hurt, pain, money, sex, mindset, sperm etc

hope u get my gist?

No i dont

ok sir...
It is usually the guys that ORCHESTRATE IT. Rarely do u see females raping a guy tho they may SEDUCE but Guys are more Logical hence the WILL POWER LIES WITH THE GUY to respond. Horniness dies when Response is not equal.

Oma307:
I understand your point but the issue is, does having sex between unmarried people only beneficial to the guy only? this issue must be ironed out

it is the weaker party that is always exploited. and women are the weaker vessels. thats it. as plain as day.

Randyhot:
No i dont

OKAY

MhizzAJ:
How can he open his mouth to vomit that nonsense...After wasting her time for 10 good years

That is why pre marital sex is wrong.
Assuming she didn't open her legs for that fool..he wouldn't have come up with that his useless story

Your second line is in tandem with what OP is saying.

While it's easy to judge that guy, the girl too has equal blame in the matter.

He probably has very good reasons to not want her anymore so urging him to marry her out of pity will only make matters worse.

Besides, both parents are against them, there's not much he can do about that.

Both parties make sacrifices in relationships so let's be objective here.

Peace out.

TheRealestGuy:
Your second line is in tandem with what OP is saying.

While it's easy to judge that guy, the girl too has equal blame in the matter.

He probably has very good reasons to not want her anymore so urging him to marry her out of pity will only make matters worse.

Besides, both parents are against them, there's not much he can do about that.

Both parties make sacrifices in relationships so let's be objective here.

Peace out.

tiri gbosa for you..abeg bross locate the next joint and gulp two bottles of your fav..

Some of you would want ladies to accept what if another dude had done to your sister, you'd probably want to end his life.

10years isn't 10 days, the gap between 17 and 27 is much, use your brains.

It's not an easy task to undergo an abortion, not to talk of a life threatening one. And not to mention her virginity.

If both parents are against the relationship, what matters is if they want to be together. It's never easy to convince one's parents to accept one's spouse. He isn't marring her out of pity but it's mandated he marries her. You don't wreck a girl and leave her for another man.

Benita27:
Some of you would want ladies to accept what if another dude had done to your sister, you'd probably want to end his life.

10years isn't 10 days, the gap between 17 and 27 is much, use your brains.

It's not an easy task to undergo an abortion, not to talk of a life threatening one. And not to mention her virginity.

If both parents are against the relationship, what matters is if they want to be together. It's never easy to convince one's parents to accept one's spouse. He isn't marring her out of pity but it's mandated he marries her. You don't wreck a girl and leave her for another man.

pls stop being sentimental with this "your sister" thing..what buisness do i have with how my adult sister choose to keep her man?

Randyhot:
pls stop being sentimental with this "your sister" thing..what buisness do i have with how my adult sister choose to keep her man?

Men take responsibility for their actions. I won't be bantering words with you 'cause you're one of the heartless souls who felt the guy could walk away. Now, guess what...he can't. He has to finish what he started or either get hunted by the girl.

Don't mess for people, we handle situations differently.

Benita27:
Men take responsibility for their actions. I won't be bantering words with you 'cause you're one of the heartless souls who felt the guy could walk away. Now, guess what...he can't. He has to finish what he started or either get hunted by the girl.

Don't mess for people, we handle situations differently.

you are in a dreamworld where you think its all Cinderella in fancy pink dress and shoes.
kwantinu..

another stupid thread ..mtchew

That guy's only offence to me is dating a teenager, impregnating her and making her abort it. The moment the girl became of age, whatever they did was consensual.

OP I wanted to say that God bless you then I realised that it won't do justice to this thread of yours.
Immediately you see this comment just keeping asking for anything you want in the space of five minutes and I assure you that God will do it for you.




It is only in Nigeria that you knack me I knack you, we break up and everybody will start cursing the guy as if the girl was being forced at gunpoint to stay in the relationship.

Regardless of the period of the courtship. If you like date someone from 23B.C till date.
If he or she may still decide not to marry you. It is called freedom of association and it is enshrined in the 1999 constitution.

Not all relationship lead to marriage

greatnaija01:
GOING BY YOUR IDEOLOGY lets not omit that if you would not COMMIT to marriage then do not ENGAGE IN SEX. Sex before marriage is Like eating before you pay for the food. then half way claiming its not worth it...... GUY YOU MUST PAY COMPLETE. Cos ladies are not tools. They are not also as Logical as guys but thanks to movies n music ladies have been portrayed as sex tools that will believe any good talk u can tell them as long as you gat cash or style or sweet mouth.

BUT that is so far from the truth.... do you know KARMA is real and payback is a BIATCH? listen you damaged another man's future wife and hope your own will be preserved and yes you may find a preserved lady but your daughters will face exactly what u did to other women.... so be careful. Why UnCloth if you do not like her content.. its sad but we have to be careful. Sex is more than just poking into holes.

So ni karma for the girl that derived material gains from somebody else future husband

pocohantas:
That guy's only offence to me is dating a teenager, impregnating her and making her abort it. The moment the girl became of age, whatever they did was consensual.

You see things clearly without bias... Nice post

Randyhot:
...if you are not the marriage type, certainly i reserve the rights to look elsewhere irrespective of the marathon sex we have been engaging in over those years.

There's a problem. I can't wrap my head around the ugly scenario of you engaging in marathon sex with her for years, but regrettably and saddening enough, she was only good for your sexual escapades and not as a "marriage type".

While it is not a MUST that you guys must be together, it is her RIGHT to send you to hell if she so desires.

Splinz:
There's a problem. I can't wrap my head around the ugly scenario of you engaging in marathon sex with her for years, but regrettably and saddening enough, she was only good for your sexual escapades and not as a "marriage type".

While it is not a MUST that you guys must be together, it is her RIGHT to send you to hell if she so desires.

both of our sexual desires are quenched sir..i cant wrap my head around your conclusion that sex is the major drive towards marriage.