I am Peter from Abia state. I am 32. One of the truly most handsome guys around though I don't live by that. After examining life issues, I thought to myself, that braking women's heart in relationship can be avoided. I made up my mind not to brake the heart of any woman or use my handsomeness to take advantage of women who want me desperately or are weak towards me. I made sure I did not engage in anyrelationship with girl until I am convinced I can possibly mary her. I have also proposed in my heart that I must not date any girl more than 1yr and when it exceeds 1yr, it must not bemore than two 2yrs and that must be because we are planning our wedding or some other purposeful delays.

I started with Chioma last year Feb, 2017, I barely started the relationship when I started receiving signs that she is my wife. Of all the many signs that came, it was only one of them(the 1st one) that I requested from God. So, I concluded that it is not possible for all these signs to be a coincidence. 'The supernatural must be involved, God or devil', I jokingly told Ben - one of my closest friends.We would have tied the knots in less than one year, having introduced her tomy mum within 3 months of knowing her, having also allowed her to live withmy mother for 1 month and again for 2 weeks, and having gone to see her father for introduction, all within one year.

But, some thing came up that my finance couldn't carry the wedding as I made some investment, and the remaining one that I could have used was consumed by 1, her sickness, 2, my mum's sickness and 3, by MMM. Soit was postponed to an unfixed date this year 2017 pending when my pocketgets replenished but sure enough I toldmyself that the wedding or even trad must not exceed this year. By the beginning of 2nd quarter, I started a business for her and made her self reliant.

And suddenly, by middle of this year, my mum met a pastor on the mountainwhere she has gone to pray. The pastortold her that Chioma is not my wife, that if I get married to her I will die. Shewent to another pastor(who doesn't know the 1st pastor) without telling him what the previous pastor said, he said the same thing. So she became afraid and insisted that we discontinuethe relationship. As it is now, as regards the issue, my mum says she can't be convinced to accept my fiancee after hearing the same massage from two pastors. "For before2 or three witnesses, a matter is validated", she said, recalling that a pastor friend of hers had vehemently proclaimed that Chioma was not my wife, even though he said it as an advise without bringing God into the matter. "That makes three persons", she echoed, that it is only a tree that never runs after being told it would be cut down. I personally don't want to believe in these prophecies neither am I scared of dying as God's Word says I shall not die. Besides, I have several confirmations before choosing her. Wehave also held a family meeting for thisin which we invited the last pastor who repeated what he said. I and Chioma cross examined him with different questions. He answered our questions but without strong convictions. It was only mum and my sisters who believed everything he said.Now, the issue is that if my mum doesn't give her-support, no one else will. My mum is not domineering as she has always supported whatever I wanted to do. Every thing that I am now are all borne out of my personal choice without her input in decision making. She doesn't treat me as the only son that I am as she has never reminded me that. I wasn't so close to her. She did not show me affection probably because she thought it would make me a spoilt child. Before now, wecould stay for a month or more withouthearing from each other. I did not grow with the only son mentality. She taught me the bible of which I grew up reading. I learnt how to love from the bible as nobody showed me love when I was growing.I have called a friend to speak to her but she said it's a no-go-area. I have also tried convincing her but it seems that her argument is winning mine. She started by asking me if I think that I love the girl more than she does. That it was the situation that necessitated itand not because she doesn't love Chioma.

For this case, unlike me, I also decided to meet a woman of God - an evangelist who said that what the pastors prophesied are not true. The woman who goes by evangelist as her title prophesied, telling me that my father is dead and that I am the only son and some other prophesies that are true. But one of her prophesies (or revelations rather) that weakened all the other prophesies that I would have used to convince my mum is that she said that mum entered a covenant withGod before she could give birth to a son like me. That sounds true as I was or almost the 6th child following 5 or 4 girls ( one girl died) that my mum gave birth to before dad passed away. But when I questioned mum about the covenant, she outrightly denied, sighting that neither they nor my dad ever complained at any time that they have only girl children and no boy, let alone going further to make covenants.I lost the argument here, in trying to convince her that the messages she got were false.My fiancee will be 30 this year. Our relationship seems to be headings nowhere now. The wedding plans have been halted. It will only take a miracle to change mum's mind. She insists on getting it right in mine. She said she was too liberal, and that's why she allowed 2 of my sisters to get married to husbands she never approved of. And 2 of them are suffering in their various homes now as she has to be taking care of them and their kids sometimes. 2 of them have sometime, been driven from their husband's homes and they came to live with her with kids.

My friend have advised I let Chioma go. That seems to be rational in as much as we don't know when it will be settled or if ever it will be settled. There is no need continuing taking her time as woman are like flowers.We discussed this with Chioma, and she agreed to go with seeming understanding, but she ( feeling heart broken and seeming confused and behaving strangely like not calling or talking to me as before) later started asking me if I really mean to let her go after all this while as she has told manythat she is my wife, reminding me of my promises to her. Though, the only environment where we are known a beat more is where I newly moved in this year, the same place her shop is also located. There are no relatives or church members near us. The introduction was unannounced. And I went with just a friend to see her father. Aside these, people don't know us else where apart from my village which it's only some of my kinsmen. I have practically kept the relationship secret as much as possible that the church is not aware.I just want to hear people's opinion so as to make sure we take the best possible decision and to help me not to feel guilty. If I put her away, have I committed a terrible sin? We have trulythought that putting her away or telling her to go is rational in her best interest considering the situation at hand.

Lemme read through

Huh February, 2017 last year

Something must kill a man

As much as you seem to know what you want in a woman,saw it and went for it,you are almost ripe for marriage but the truth is,
LET THE GIRL GO.

We are religious but not righteous enough to "let sleeping dog lie",your mum's move to inquire from pastors if Chioma is meant for you has gingered the Nigerian christianity in you and will continue till Chioma goes to where they'll tell her to tie you.

Let her go.
It doesn't make you guilty but confused.
What will be,will be.

you finally took my advice
you brought it to romance section

hmmmmm. this one is strong!!!

OP, pray about it yourself...and ask God to speak to you. Then act on whatever He asks you to do.

But sometimes sha, "what an elder sees sitting down, the young one may not see while standing even on a tree"

thread with caution. ladies of our time, after the ceremony comes their true colours. Their wahala fit kill person o! Your mum has done her best. she try!

Evaberry:
you finally took my advice

you brought it to romance section

oh
so you know the whole story behind this shiiiii

care to summarize for me please

Kai oga abeg I dey sorry o, but gaskiya me no fit read this your epistle to save my life.

Better luck with other commentators.

Reading

I thought you said God revealed it to you personally that she is your wife now? Can God deny himself? 2Timothy 2:13

What a confused tales you have just narrated here. Infact,you are the perfect definition of a confused confusionist.
The first pastor said this and that ,The 2nd and the 3rd pastors said bla bla bla.
You have allowed your life to be toiled and being played around by too many strangers..because of what precisely?
You said you are a christian? What happen to your own christianity? Is the jesus in you died and buried?
The bible says,as many that are being led by the spirit of God,they are the sons of God..you don't need to depend so much on these pastors who do not even depend on God when making some important decisions pertaining to their own lives. And you are already allowing them to rule your life..shm
If I may ask,what's leading you?
Your christianity needs to be questioned because you have given an unrestricted access to strangers who will only play your life around all in the name of seeking for prophecy.


My advice,
Go on your knees and cry to God to personally reveal to you the truth about your future with the lady you intends to marry.

Bring her to my apartment lemme Bleep the hell outta her.

Only then can I tell if she's d right woman for you.

Till then...


On a more serious note, has it ever crossed your mind that your mum & siblings dont want her & have hired those seemingly random false prophets to prophesy against her.
Women are known to be very good at concealin' their intentions.

Bleep Christianity or traditional/moral beliefs & respect. This is YOUR muthafuckin' life!

No disrespect but your mom will be dead when your marriage starts makin' sense.

Do you feel comfortable with this woman? If yes, stop being a fuckin' cunt, man up & take her to the altar.

Wuss.

The best and most profitable decisions are the difficult ones. Ask any gambler if he will ever pick 11odd to beat 1.25odd, I'm sure they will tell you NO, but in reality, it does happen. Listen to your mum bro, do not venture into a trade your mum will laugh over you tomorrow that "didn't I warn you". Stop feeling sorry for an event you knew nothing about. Your mum brought this to your notice, you weren't the architech of it. TO BEFORE WARN IS TO BEFORE ARMED...

I thank all of you for your comments. Some one did not understand that it is my mum an not me that started this and they are still blaming me without addressing the issue or answering my question.Stevebamdex quoting bible for me (?)

Note that I am not the problem as I don't belief these pastors. My mum is. She is my only parent.

ShyCypher:
Bring her to my apartment lemme Bleep the hell outta her.

Only then can I tell if she's d right woman for you.

Till then...


On a more serious note, has it ever crossed your mind that your mum & siblings dont want her & have hired those seemingly random false prophets to prophesy against her.
Women are known to be very good at concealin' their intentions.

Bleep Christianity or traditional/moral beliefs & respect. This is YOUR muthafuckin' life!

No disrespect but your mom will be dead when your marriage starts makin' sense.

Do you feel comfortable with this woman? If yes, stop being a fuckin' cunt, man up & take her to the altar.

Wuss.

Dear Op,

I've made a comment on an issue of this sort, gon do it again.

@Bolded, I'm not a Christian, and my belief is diff. from urs, but calling anyone fake surely is not in ur blif also, if u av any.

And I'm not saying the prophesies are real also...

but be sure Ur mother approves, it's important my brother.

I personally do not blif 'prophesies, See this instance, Some 8months ago, My gf told me she met a cleric and that one said we can never get married, that it's a disaster, blah blah, she heard it herself, Yet she held onto me steadfastly.... FF to some 2months now, anoda cleric said I'm the man for her, she was damn, happy, I could remember d look on her face while she narrated d ordeal.. Buh me on a diff. level, I be looking her like, 'Is ur head paining you'? wah we gon blive? d former or d latter?

All that being said, BE SURE YOUR PARENT APPROVES.

been a while I did dis...

Is last year not 2016 ni

agbonkamen:
Is last year not 2016 ni

Something must surely kill a man, as the first commenter said....

OHOnairaland:
I am Peter from Abia state. I am 32. One of the truly most handsome guys around though I don't live by that. After examining life issues, I thought to myself, that braking women's heart in relationship can be avoided. I made up my mind not to brake the heart of any woman or use my handsomeness to take advantage of women who want me desperately or are weak towards me. I made sure I did not engage in anyrelationship with girl until I am convinced I can possibly mary her. I have also proposed in my heart that I must not date any girl more than 1yr and when it exceeds 1yr, it must not bemore than two 2yrs and that must be because we are planning our wedding or some other purposeful delays.

I started with Chioma last year Feb, 2017, I barely started the relationship when I started receiving signs that she is my wife. Of all the many signs that came, it was only one of them(the 1st one) that I requested from God. So, I concluded that it is not possible for all these signs to be a coincidence. 'The supernatural must be involved, God or devil', I jokingly told Ben - one of my closest friends.We would have tied the knots in less than one year, having introduced her tomy mum within 3 months of knowing her, having also allowed her to live withmy mother for 1 month and again for 2 weeks, and having gone to see her father for introduction, all within one year.

But, some thing came up that my finance couldn't carry the wedding as I made some investment, and the remaining one that I could have used was consumed by 1, her sickness, 2, my mum's sickness and 3, by MMM. Soit was postponed to an unfixed date this year 2017 pending when my pocketgets replenished but sure enough I toldmyself that the wedding or even trad must not exceed this year. By the beginning of 2nd quarter, I started a business for her and made her self reliant.

And suddenly, by middle of this year, my mum met a pastor on the mountainwhere she has gone to pray. The pastortold her that Chioma is not my wife, that if I get married to her I will die. Shewent to another pastor(who doesn't know the 1st pastor) without telling him what the previous pastor said, he said the same thing. So she became afraid and insisted that we discontinuethe relationship. As it is now, as regards the issue, my mum says she can't be convinced to accept my fiancee after hearing the same massage from two pastors. "For before2 or three witnesses, a matter is validated", she said, recalling that a pastor friend of hers had vehemently proclaimed that Chioma was not my wife, even though he said it as an advise without bringing God into the matter. "That makes three persons", she echoed, that it is only a tree that never runs after being told it would be cut down. I personally don't want to believe in these prophecies neither am I scared of dying as God's Word says I shall not die. Besides, I have several confirmations before choosing her. Wehave also held a family meeting for thisin which we invited the last pastor who repeated what he said. I and Chioma cross examined him with different questions. He answered our questions but without strong convictions. It was only mum and my sisters who believed everything he said.Now, the issue is that if my mum doesn't give her-support, no one else will. My mum is not domineering as she has always supported whatever I wanted to do. Every thing that I am now are all borne out of my personal choice without her input in decision making. She doesn't treat me as the only son that I am as she has never reminded me that. I wasn't so close to her. She did not show me affection probably because she thought it would make me a spoilt child. Before now, wecould stay for a month or more withouthearing from each other. I did not grow with the only son mentality. She taught me the bible of which I grew up reading. I learnt how to love from the bible as nobody showed me love when I was growing.I have called a friend to speak to her but she said it's a no-go-area. I have also tried convincing her but it seems that her argument is winning mine. She started by asking me if I think that I love the girl more than she does. That it was the situation that necessitated itand not because she doesn't love Chioma.

For this case, unlike me, I also decided to meet a woman of God - an evangelist who said that what the pastors prophesied are not true. The woman who goes by evangelist as her title prophesied, telling me that my father is dead and that I am the only son and some other prophesies that are true. But one of her prophesies (or revelations rather) that weakened all the other prophesies that I would have used to convince my mum is that she said that mum entered a covenant withGod before she could give birth to a son like me. That sounds true as I was or almost the 6th child following 5 or 4 girls ( one girl died) that my mum gave birth to before dad passed away. But when I questioned mum about the covenant, she outrightly denied, sighting that neither they nor my dad ever complained at any time that they have only girl children and no boy, let alone going further to make covenants.I lost the argument here, in trying to convince her that the messages she got were false.My fiancee will be 30 this year. Our relationship seems to be headings nowhere now. The wedding plans have been halted. It will only take a miracle to change mum's mind. She insists on getting it right in mine. She said she was too liberal, and that's why she allowed 2 of my sisters to get married to husbands she never approved of. And 2 of them are suffering in their various homes now as she has to be taking care of them and their kids sometimes. 2 of them have sometime, been driven from their husband's homes and they came to live with her with kids.

My friend have advised I let Chioma go. That seems to be rational in as much as we don't know when it will be settled or if ever it will be settled. There is no need continuing taking her time as woman are like flowers.We discussed this with Chioma, and she agreed to go with seeming understanding, but she ( feeling heart broken and seeming confused and behaving strangely like not calling or talking to me as before) later started asking me if I really mean to let her go after all this while as she has told manythat she is my wife, reminding me of my promises to her. Though, the only environment where we are known a beat more is where I newly moved in this year, the same place her shop is also located. There are no relatives or church members near us. The introduction was unannounced. And I went with just a friend to see her father. Aside these, people don't know us else where apart from my village which it's only some of my kinsmen. I have practically kept the relationship secret as much as possible that the church is not aware.I just want to hear people's opinion so as to make sure we take the best possible decision and to help me not to feel guilty. If I put her away, have I committed a terrible sin? We have trulythought that putting her away or telling her to go is rational in her best interest considering the situation at hand.

I stopped reading when you brought pastor into the equation. Bro. Pastors have scammed you, they are all scammers and vampires.

The only problem i have is someone taking my name to pastor or native doctor and i will never accept anything frm dat person again

The main reason why I am still skeptical of marrying pentecostal ladies...