Copyright: No part of this should be transmitted to an unknown source without prior consent and allowance by the author or acknowledgement. This was written by Richie of Chatinent.
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The Igbo people say: 'he who finds a wife has found a good thing.' A wife is really not only a helper, but can also be a mother to your heart and friend. Whereas, most men become a character in the Cinderella play but with no shoe to fit any leg. Here are most mistakes men make:
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1. A decent girl. Every man needs a decent girl. There's an adage in Iboland which says (when translated) 'you will always get what you give.' Karma is single and wishes to marry any volunteer anytime, anyplace. Yes, you would always meet a girl the kind of person you are. Wonder, how can you be searching for a 'Mary-Magdalene' inside a night club? What's the decency in a girl who exposes her body through transparent clothes? All right, if afterall you get a decent girl, how do you make ripe such decency to bear good frutition.
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2. Oh Minaj! Many men long to have their personal minaj. They go after body shape in place of future shape. My brother, do you seek a wife of a forever sex-mate? There exist many things to look at in a woman; character, sense of humour and belonging, taste, adaptive sense, not just wanting a bed-wife.
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3. Is she a virgin? Hello? Where did this question come from? Who then will marry those you deflower? Oh yeah, it's you I'm asking!
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4. Men fail to ask and know more about the girl. Some discreet class of men about to get married go as far as visiting the girl's hometown and know more. Yes, it matters.
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5. Marry her 'cos of family pressure. Are you kidding me? A wife should be a life partner not a pressure alternative, why then do you look for a feminine material just to fulfil all righteousness?
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6. Pikin Pikin Pikin! Grandson grandson grandson! Laughs. The scientists say children is the only good product of sexual relation. It is so true. Who doesn't need a child?
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The feeling of getting a child (probably a male child) as culture demands is making an uproar in Nigeria. Men should seek wife-before-child wife and not child-before-wife wife, however, most mothers are not helping out, this way, pushes the guy into a forced marriage.
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7. Where does she come from? This question seem to be most ear-seasoning to mothers and family. I do tell my folks that it is not where a person comes from which matters, it is the person's personality that does.
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Hey look here: When you find sb good, stop looking for someone better.


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So, pick a woman and stop always being a woo-man.

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Origin: http://chatinent.com.ng/index.php?act=ST&f=31&t=347&st=0#entry654

You would never know you made a mistake until the the result is out.

I object, that saying, "he who finds a wife has found a good thing..." is not an Igbo proverb but Bible verse.

When you ask some people facing turbulent period in their marriage today if they fail to do their homework when dating their life partner, the answer would be, Yes I did ... I never knew sh/he was pretending.

Some ladies can be slay queen or minaj type but due to societal pressure in order to get her choice of man, she would pretend even to the extent of becoming Mary magdalene hence attract her dream husband who is God fearing/rich/handsome/tall as they would even end up becoming a huge liability to him. Same goes to promiscuous, drunk and ill mannered guys who camouflage to become angel Michael to marry a pretty virgin lady.

This is exactly what is invoke in the society and I would agree with the part where the OP mentioned that we all want "the perfect picture" of our life partner which is where the problem starts.

Dating period is no child's play but unfortunately many people put the cart before the horse and neglect the danger signs of their gf/bf thinking they would manage it.

I am not married and I may not be in that position to advise married couples but for the singles, we need to set our priority right in order to avoid a regrettable marriage in the future.

hmnnn.....sometimes, it's the lady that made the mistake of choosing the various types of fake husbands available nowadays

menxer:
You would never know you made a mistake until the the result is out.

I object, that saying, "he who finds a wife has found a good thing..." is not an Igbo proverb but Bible verse.

I know. Thanks for reading.

wristbangle:
When you ask some people facing turbulent period in their marriage today if they fail to do their homework when dating their life partner, the answer would be, Yes I did ... I never knew sh/he was pretending.

Some ladies can be slay queen or minaj type but due to societal pressure in order to get her choice of man, she would pretend even to the extent of becoming Mary magdalene hence attract her dream husband who is God fearing/rich/handsome/tall. Same goes to promiscuous, drunk and ill mannered guys who camouflage to become angel Michael to marry a pretty virgin lady.

This is exactly what is invoke in the society and I would agree with the part where the OP mentioned that we all want "the perfect picture" of our life partner which is where the problem starts.

Dating period is no child's play but unfortunately many people put the cart before the horse and neglect the danger signs of their gf/bf thinking they would manage it.

I am not married and I may not be in that position to advise married couples but for the singles, we need to set our priority right in order to avoid a regrettable marriage in the future.

You have a tuber of point.

Marriage is like a wormhole. Once in, very hard to come out.

There is no formula that works all of marriage problem. As the society is changing, relationship is changing and ladies are changing too

If u really wnt 2 d attitude of ur partner, 4get abt d way he or she treats u in particular, focus on hw he or she relates wt her family , frnds and neighbors, mind u, she has bin wt dose pple even b4 she met u so, Wateva attitude she dishes out 2 dem is d "real her", no pretence.
2.once in awhile, pay her family home a visit and wen u do, secretly focus on d mother, watch how she treats her husband, ladies most times, treats dia hubby exactly d same way dia mom treated dia dad. Al D same, u cn neva no her 100% bt jst try

These days there are fewer and fewer good girls to go around, what pains me is that these girls meet different evil niqqurs before landing in ur court, sorry if ur a good guy, you'll die young o

fear mongering

Okay

op, every saying in the world can't be Igbo proverb na, ah ah

The no. 1 mistake is when you failed to ask God to choose for you.

TRADELYN is PROUDLY the BEST for all your research projects, business plans, etc.
https://www.nairaland.com/tradelyn

Vj

mrphysics:
Marriage is like a wormhole. Once in, very hard to come out.

There is no formula that works all of marriage problem. As the society is changing, relationship is changing and ladies are changing too

Ur head dey deir

@op

Your number one point made you to appear parochial. Being a nightclub goer (I hold no brief for the addicted one's though) doesn't make one irresponsible. Also, one's persona (dressing sense, not holding brief for people that goes around half or fully naked) shouldn't be a yardstick to ascertain one's nobility. Attributes (good or bad) always lies beneath persona. So, your number point is invalid.

On your second point, believe you me, the importance of physical beauty can never be undermined - by the way beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and of course, the eyes must eat and feel filled up first before the stomach. My point here is that beauty is as important as good attributes when choosing a wife, this will always ensure sustainable loyalty. I don't see the good in a woman that has good attributes but repulses me physically.

About your number 4, even though it's not a bad idea to go down to a lady's hometown to inquire about her before making a final decision, yet, you shouldn't forget that people do change either for good or bad. Therefore, personally, I would rather make my decision based on a lady's current attitudes than how good or bad she was said to be from her hometown.

Your number 5, 6 and 7 are on point. Only feeble-minded people allow others - parents in particular or other people in general - to decide a fate for them. Actually, it takes a conscientious person to live life at the periphery of conventionalism.

From my own perspective, the easiest way to choose the right life partner is for one to achieve self-realization first. When you achieved self-realization, you'll find it easy to understand what constitute the ambiguous word "love" to you and based on that you will lookout for someone that possesses the good physical and innate attributes that made up your constituency. There's always "the right one" for everyone, what's not obtainable is the "perfect one" and no sane person look for that, because perfection is only of the creator of the universe.

Can't even differentiate between acting and true love.. My sad story!

nice piece.

Guaranteed, you will marry the wrong person.

I read that somewhere and it is true. That's the way things are set up

Good nyt.

May God protect us from karashikas

It takes the grace of God to marry a good wife, if you like visit her home town, do the necessary research to the best of your knowledge, dissect her heart to see how pure she is, if she still gonna show you her bad side, you can't stop her. If not for the Bible verse that says we should be fruitful and multiply. I would have just maintain my lane and enjoy my life till my last breath. I hope God grant me the bone of my own one day cos I am tired of this contract relationship.

Addicted2Women:
Nigerian girls are Queens, you can't go wrong having one as a wife

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I pity you from the bottom of my heart

#Eco99#

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Many women pretend during courtship and that's part of the reason why marriages are breaking up.


Nobody is perfect but pick someone you know will never hide anything from you.


when looks and a sexy body fade what will make her attractive to you?


Think about that.

chatinent:

I know. Thanks for reading.

You know?

You know it's a Bible verse, and you tagged it an Igbo proverb?

chatinent:

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Origin: http://chatinent.com.ng/index.php?act=ST&f=31&t=347&st=0#entry654

I keep my stand with number 3

any woman who is not a virgin is a useless woman and deserve a useless Man!


a woman will open her shiit hole for someone preek to enter sometime in her life and you want me to go that same shiit hole?


I rather have my package new than to use an second hand product.



as for the question you ask "who then will marry the one you deflower" of cause some stvpid idiot will marry your waste product!