There is this guy who has a 25 inch dick. He goes to a witch in the woods and asks her if she can make his dick smaller because he just can't please the ladies because it is just too big, he hasn't found a lady yet who likes it and he can't get any pleasure. She tells him to go into the woods and he will find a frog when he finds the frog he is to ask it to marry him. If the frog says no, his cock will shrink 5 inches. He goes into the woods and finds this frog. He asks "frog, will you marry me?"
The frog says "no" And his prick shrinks five inches. The guys thinks to himself, "Wow, that was pretty cool.
But, it's still too big." So he goes back to the frog and again asks the frog: "Frog, will you marry me?
Frog: "No, I won't marry you."
The guys dick shrinks another five inches. But that's still 15 inches and he thinks his chop is still just a little bit too big. But he thinks that 10 inches would be just great. He goes back to the frog and asks: "Frog, will you marry me?"
Frog: How many times do I have to tell you NO, NO, NO No No No No No No No!!!

gqboyy:

Yeahh!! We go crush their balls like eggs, no shaking! We don't take shit from nobody!!

That's the spirit bruv! We no dey fear their fear, God has not given us the spirit of fear but that of power and sound-mind!
***Thank God na inside my house I kuku dey***

gqboyy:
A man went to Church
on Sunday and gave testimony that he was infected with Monkey Pox and God had healedhim.
When he had finished, he tried to give the mic to the 2nd man but the 2ND Man refused to take it:

2ND MAN- I have no testimony. Give it to Pastor.

PASTOR- I'm not in charge of testimonies so give it to the Senior Pastor.

SENIOR PASTOR- Brother in Christ, the mic is yours. It's a gift from the Church. You may take it home.

Similar thing that happened during the ebola things, lol, Pastor's faith no fit carry that one, who wan die

gqboyy:
How to Kill an Ant.
Mix powdered pepper and sugar & keep it outside
the ant’s hole for it to eat. After eating it, the ant
will search for some water near a water tank.
When it's near the water tank, push it into the tank
but don't allow it get drowned. Now the ant is wet
and will go to dry itself near a fireplace. When it
reaches the fireplace, put a bomb into the fire.
Boom! The ant is now injured with 3rd degree
burns. Take the wounded ant to the ICU. There the
ant will be put on the ventilator and feel safe in the
hospital. However at night, sneak into the ant's
room and remove the oxygen mask from its
mouth. The ant will gasp for breath and finally die
from suffocation.
DONE!

All these hassle just to kill ant??

vivie01:


That's the spirit bruv! We no dey fear their fear, God has not given us the spirit of fear but that of power and sound-mind!
***Thank God na inside my house I kuku dey***

Hahaha funny girl

vivie01:


Similar thing that happened during the ebola things, lol, Pastor's faith no fit carry that one, who wan die

Fear of these endtime diseases is the beginning of wisdom oo

vivie01:


All these hassle just to kill ant??

Lol, the point is to torture d ant till it shout "abeg am tired of these series of wahala, make una kuku kill me... lol

Once had a friend on facebook who's
new on facebook.


Every time he'll be updating his status
with: "MONEY, MONEY MONEY" at least 30
times everyday


.
I became so curious and furious, because
his post was always flooding my wall.


.
One day I summon the courage and
chatted him up


.
ME: hey dude!


HIM: hi


ME:Why are you always posting "money"
Every time?? don't you know you're
making some people uncomfortable by
doing this?


HIM: sorry bro, it's because facebook
always ask what's on my mind everytime I
log in.


.
I just fainted


.
Have a nice sleep palz

New Hilarious Video Titiled SHARP GUY by Students of Federal University of Technology, minna popular know as federal GUYS!!!
CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO WATCH NOW


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkL8ccGcMCg

[url]Http://facebook.com/officialadekaz[/url]
FOLLOW MY FACEBOOK PAGE FOR UNLIMITED JOKES AND ENTERTAINMENT

Have you ever been next to people who gossip so much that you're even scared of leaving them cause you know you will be the next topic?

My friend is Jobless and his Employed Girlfriend told him..."This Relationship is not Working,Just like you!!
My friend has lost his appetite for 3days

Honestly, Africans don't have time to rest, even after death they work as ancestors

Have you ever been next to people who gossip so much that you're even scared of leaving them cause you know you will be the next topic?

My friend is Jobless and his Employed Girlfriend told him..."This Relationship is not Working,Just like you!!
My friend has lost his appetite for 3days nowHonestly, Africans don't have time to rest, even after death they work as ancestors

Emojis were made to show expressions, but some of these block-headed girls will be using it to cover their armpit*

*Remember that Match between Goliath and David that year? I still dey wonder how many odd them giv David*

Shey You know say "LMAO" also means..... Leave Me Alone Ode.

JOIN ME ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE FOR UNLIMITED LAUGH AND ENTERTAINMENT

CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO JOIN NOW
http://facebook.com/officialadekaz

gqboyy:
There is this guy who has a 25 inch dick. He goes to a witch in the woods and asks her if she can make his dick smaller because he just can't please the ladies because it is just too big, he hasn't found a lady yet who likes it and he can't get any pleasure. She tells him to go into the woods and he will find a frog when he finds the frog he is to ask it to marry him. If the frog says no, his cock will shrink 5 inches. He goes into the woods and finds this frog. He asks "frog, will you marry me?"
The frog says "no" And his prick shrinks five inches. The guys thinks to himself, "Wow, that was pretty cool.
But, it's still too big." So he goes back to the frog and again asks the frog: "Frog, will you marry me?
Frog: "No, I won't marry you."
The guys dick shrinks another five inches. But that's still 15 inches and he thinks his chop is still just a little bit too big. But he thinks that 10 inches would be just great. He goes back to the frog and asks: "Frog, will you marry me?"
Frog: How many times do I have to tell you NO, NO, NO No No No No No No No!!!

Lol.my guy son loss.

10min ago i was bored so i called the police



Me: Hello help, 35 people are following me


Police: Calm down, where are you?


Me: On instagram

Police: Idiot .

Did I do something wrong ?

*A tooth for a tooth*

Yesterday, my pressing iron broke down. I went to the neighbours and asked them for their iron. They told me to come and iron in their house or forget about it. I went and ironed without arguing. This morning they also came to ask me for a broom. I also told them to come and sweep at my house or forget about it. Now they are angry. Did I do anything wrong?



Good morning

conversation between Akpos and Emeka


AKPOS: Emeka. Please, give me your phone, I want to call my girlfriend. I don't have credit in mine.

EMEKA: (hands phone to Akpos) No problem, but be quick with the call.

AKPOS: Thanks alot. (Akpos dials girlfriend's number, makes a quick phone call and then returns happy and excited)

AKPOS: O boy, this your phone na correct phone oh, wetin be the name?

EMEKA: Yes oh, na blackberry smart phone.

AKPOS: Kai, no wonder dem dey call am 'smart phone'. The phone sabi no be small. Could you believe, when I typed and dialled my girlfriend's number on your phone, it showed the number as 'My love'. How did your phone know that I'm calling my girlfriend? One word for Akpos?

The CEO of a company was walking round the factory to see how the staff were working.

He noticed a guy leaning against the wall doing nothing, he approached the man and asked him, "How much do you earn?"

The guy was amazed and said, "N120,000 Sir". The CEO. took out his wallet, gave the guy N240,000 and yelled at him, "I pay people here to work and not waste time loafing around. This is your 2 months salary, now Get out of here, don't say a word and NEVER come back!"

After the guy had left, the CEO now looked at the other workers and asked, "by the way, who was that guy?"
The workers replied. he was waiting for his friend. The manager fainted!!!!!

BEFORE THIS YEAR RUNS OUT MAY GOD PROVOKE PEOPLE TO FAVOUR YOU TODAY. Amen!!!

I met a girl on monday at motor park, after a
little
conversation with her, I
wanted to leave and desire to collect her phone
number. After she gave me the
number, I said to her:

Me: Sorry, I didn't catch your name.


She: Ok am Dike Sandra Thelma Vera.
Feel free to
call me (DSTV) in short
form and you ?


Me: (I no fit carry last) well am Godwin Obinna
Tochukwu Victor, you can call
me (GOTV)
And I also have frndz like


Felicia Ukamaka Eloka Linda (FUEL)


Christian Babatunde Noah (CBN)

Adewale Ibrahim Tejuoso (AIT)

Lawal Adeola Nasirudeen (LAN)

David Victor Daniel (DVD)


She: Shiff lemme faint

I met a girl on monday at motor park, after a
little
conversation with her, I
wanted to leave and desire to collect her phone
number. After she gave me the
number, I said to her:

Me: Sorry, I didn't catch your name.


She: Ok am Dike Sandra Thelma Vera.
Feel free to
call me (DSTV) in short
form and you ?


Me: (I no fit carry last) well am Godwin Obinna
Tochukwu Victor, you can call
me (GOTV)
And I also have frndz like
Felicia Ukamaka Eloka Linda (FUEL)
Christian Babatunde Noah (CBN)
Adewale Ibrahim Tejuoso (AIT)
Lawal Adeola Nasirudeen (LAN)
David Victor Daniel (DVD)



She: Shiff lemme faint

A Mån went to Drïnk Beer ïn a Bår... He shouted : "Bår Mån"...!!! Give me å Bottle of Beer & Gïve Everyone å Bottle of Beer ïn here, Cøz when åm Drïnking £vëryønë should Drïnk. £veryone Cheered "BIG BUY£R" "BÏG BUY£R"... .

Later after å while he Shouted again. Bar Man...! Gïve me å Plate of Chïcken 'n' Chïps then Gïve £veryone a plåte of Såusåge and Chïps Cøz when I'm £åting, £veryone must be £åting...
£veryone Cheered "Dangote Munchende" Pyu Fyu Fyu Fyu; they Whistled".. After he Fïnïshed £åtïng He Shøuted ågåin.
. Bår Mån...! Gïve Me My Bïll & Gïve £veryøne ïn Here there Bïlls, Cøz when åm Påying £veryone Should be Påying...
Everyone including the barman fainted!!!

Hahahahaha


"Dangote's daughter cheated on me and you say I
should break up? Don't you know that Love is all
about forgiveness.


******************


Beloved sisters in the Lord, if your boyfriend can
finish 5 loafs of bread and 2 fishes; you are dating
5000 people


*****************


How can a pastor be preaching about charity and
put a password on Church WIFI?


*****************


A boy I beat up back then in primary school is
now in the US Army. He poses with guns on
Facebook, and looks like he hasn't forgotten. Should I goto hiding?


******************


One stone is enough to break a glass, one word is
enough to break a heart, one second is enough to
fall in love BUT Why is one chapter not enough to
pass exams?


***************



When you see a Nigerian couple outside staring at
the moon, It's either NEPA (Nigeria's Electricity
company) took the light or they are waiting for the
smell of the insecticide to subside.




*************



I just saw a Tricycle (Keke Napep) with an
inscription "Trust No woman" I have a feeling that
guy once had a range rover.



****************



If you want to change the world, do it now that
you are still single, because when you get married,
you can't even change the T.V station.

LOL.....

These are very funny. Weldone @OP.

Akpos decided to go to the church one Sunday,during church service the pastor stood and shouted, "someone must do something crazy for the lord today(his statement was offering for the lord)." Akpos anxiously stood up and ran with the offering box which he was been pursued. Abeg na bad thing e do?

vivie01:
LOL.....
These are very funny. Weldone @OP.

Thanks vivie

What Are Friends For?

Akpos and Ochuko were drinking palm wine together. Ochuko said, "Akpos, I have a confession to make." Akpos asked, "What is it?" Ochuko said, "Last week, I slept with your wife. I am sorry." Akpos shouted, "You slept with my wife?!" Ochuko said, "Please forgive me. "Akpos cooled down and said, "What are friends for? I forgive you.
" The following week, Ochuko was furious that someone had harvested all his crops in his farmland. During their drinking time in the evening, Akpos said to Ochuko, "Ochuko, I have a confession to make." Ochuko asked, "What is it?" Akpos said, "I was the one who harvested all your crops. I am very sorry I did that." Ochuko, after getting angry, said, "What are friends for? I forgive you.
" Two weeks later, they were drinking palm wine together when Ochuko said to Akpos, "Akpos, I have a confession to make." Akpos asked, "What is it?" Ochuko said, "I poisoned your drink because I was angry with you. Please forgive me. Akpos said, "So you poisoned my drink? Anyway what are friends for? I forgive you.
I also have a confession to make. Ochuko asked, "What is it?" Akpos said, "I am sorry! I exchanged our drinks. Please forgive me!"
Ochuko fainted!!

Dying From Cancer


Akpos went to his doctor after a long illness. After a lengthy examination, the doctor sighed and
looked at Akpos eye to eye, and said, "I've some bad
news for you. You have cancer, and it can't be
cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month to
live."

Akpos was shocked and saddened by the
news, but of solid character. He managed to
compose himself and walk from the doctor's office
into the waiting room.

There, he saw his son who had been waiting.
Akpos said, "Well son, we Nigerians celebrate
when things are good, and we celebrate when
things don't go so well.
In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer,
and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head
for the joint and have a few beers."After three or
four beers, the two were feeling a little less
sober.


There were some laughs and more beers. They
were eventually approached by some of Akpos' old
friends who asked what the two were celebrating.
Akpos told them that they were drinking to his
impending end. He told his friends, "I've only got a
few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with
AIDS."
The friends gave Akpos their condolences,
and they had a couple more beers.After his friends
left, Akpos' son leaned over and whispered his
confusion.
"Dad. I thought you said that you were dying from
cancer? You just told your friends that you were
dying from AIDS!"Akpos said, "I am dying of
cancer, son..

I just don't want any of them sleeping with your
mother after I'm gone."!!!!!!!!

Happening Now in CHOBA!!!!!!
There is confusion in front of Delta Park. The school security agents found two heads in a student's bag.

A young girl, about 22 years old, got on a bike with a big handbag from Aluu heading towards Delta Park but the bike man felt a strong smell coming from her handbag. She claimed she was going to Dan-Etete hostel to visit her friend whom she identified as Josephine Paul.

The horrible smell made the okada man suspicious who then used a light signal to attract other okada riders. When he got to Delta Park, they held the girl, and beckoned on Campus Security to search the girl's bag.

Many were frightened, not knowing what was happening. One of the security guys was shocked when he opened the 22-year-old girl's bag and found two (2) heads. In examining them carefully, the authorities found that they were two known heads.

It was a head of a garlic and the other of an onion.

Thank you very much for your attention.
Now you can continue what you were doing...... that's how my aproko made me to fall mugu too. Kpele.

Wen a white man creates a phone and you video chat with your brother you call it technology but when your Grandmother in the village use a mirror to see you in your house in Lagos, you call it witchcraft. It's about tym we value our Nigerian products.

�� �������������


In Africa we don't need CCTV cameras, the neighbours are enough �.
if you think i'm lying bring your girlfriend at home when your wife is not around and see


������


Am done with Nigerian movies, how can a native doctor say, the charm will work in Jesus name....



�����


Guys!
Best way to propose to a girl
Take her in a boat to the middle of the river and say " Chiamaka marry me or leave my boat.
Wisdom na my baptismal name


���


*Toothpicks* *were* *missing* *in* *the* *house*, *then* *my* *Mother* *asked* *our* *maid*, *and* *she* *was* *like*: �it's not me, even when I use I put them back


������


Some African Parents will be like 'I will not place Curse on you, but whatever you do to me your children will do you same. Is this one a Proclaimation or a Declaration



�������


Everyone has a right to be Foolish but some Idiots use it Stupidly.
Teacher: Mention 10wild animals
Student: 5lions. 5tigers. . . . . .



��������

My school teacher taught me most of the Lies I tell today, she would tell me to write a letter to my Uncle abroad when she knows my Uncle is in the Village.


�����

My mom entered my room and saw me asleep. She held my head, slapped me and said to me "Your last seen on Whatsapp was 1minute ago, stand up and go buy me bread"


������


Some people don't have the Spirit of Forgiveness at all, How can u sweep your room and use ur Ex' Picture as paker


��������

No one is more Respectful than a person who wants to borrow money from u....... He can even greet ur dog .....
Hello Bingo� how are u?�����⚡�⚡�⚡

gqboyy:
Wen a white man creates a phone and you video chat with your brother you call it technology but when your Grandmother in the village use a mirror to see you in your house in Lagos, you call it witchcraft. It's about tym we value our Nigerian products.

�� �������������

Some African Parents will be like 'I will not place Curse on you, but whatever you do to me your children will do you same. Is this one a Proclaimation or a Declaration

�������

Everyone has a right to be Foolish but some Idiots use it Stupidly.
Teacher: Mention 10wild animals
Student: 5lions. 5tigers. . . . . .

�����

My mom entered my room and saw me asleep. She held my head, slapped me and said to me "Your last seen on Whatsapp was 1minute ago, stand up and go buy me bread"

������

Some people don't have the Spirit of Forgiveness at all, How can u sweep your room and use ur Ex' Picture as paker
�����⚡�⚡�⚡

Hilarious!

That of parents' is so true, they placed the curse already. Some children can be very stubborn and naughty

A married Man died
during SEX with his wife.
The Wife cut his erect Penis,
filled it with cement &
fixed it in d wall.
Every night she used to
go to d wall &
satisfy herself. One
day her neighbour saw
this..!
He made a hole in the
wall, removed the husband's penis & put his own
penis in place of that.. & waited his turn for sex.
The lady came with a
knife...cut his penis &
said..."Darling today we
are shifting to our new
house

Lol, Nice collection
Yooying