I have open this new account so I can be able to freely express myself without the usual drama.

Me and my girlfriend started dating in 2010, we were both young, she was 19 at the time while I was 23 and we have been together for a solid 7yrs now. The problem now is that my GF is passing out from service either next month or January and already personal, social, peer and family pressure is beginning to build up on her. Lately she has been really concerned, she is worried about the direction of her life.

I have no doubts whatsoever about her love and commitment to me, but I fear if I don't step up quickly I may lose her. People see us and ask what are we waiting for as per marriage, the problem is that I am not financially stable yet, I don't have a job yet. I have 2 degrees obtained from 3 different countries including 1 from England which I got in 2015. I had thought getting a job would be easy, but 2yrs later and I am just getting by, been to a couple of interviews, some has been fruitful but for the clause in my contract.

At this point in my life, I have had my fair share of women, but falling in love with her was the best thing I ever had, I doubt I would be able to love someone else the way I love her, the few women I have hanged with I believe are there for the prospect.

I miss all her encouragement of "it will get better, I have confidence in u", "I am sowing a seed and fasting on ur behalf", I am really scared of losing her. I moved to another state to be closer to the market and the distance hasn't helped either.

I am not here to seek for sympathy or ask for a job, I just need advice on how to keep us going during this tough time, to keep her hopes alive and not give up on us. And encouragement from others who may have been in my situation.

Thanks NLers.

Talk to her.

Make some bold commitments like engaging her and making her get closer to your family and u get closer to her family.

Always assure her you know your destination.

Bro I Understand Ur Pain.. I'd Advice To Speak With Your Girl And Express Ur Decision Abt The Marriage. U Cant Go Into Marriage Without A Job. If She Understand This Then She May Chill For You And If She Does Not. Bro U Have To Let Her Be And Then Search For The Greens
Their Is No Late Comer In Marriage,
Thank U

AntiWailer:
Talk to her.

Make some bold commitments like engaging her and making her get closer to your family and u get closer to her family.

Always assure her you know your destination.

Thanks man, after 7yrs I know her pretty well. I have stylishly brought up the idea of engagement but made it look like it were someone else and she made a remark about not liking getting engaged for long. So I already have an idea.

We are close to both our families.

I have been assuring her, I call almost 9 times in a day, send lengthy encouragement sms. In fact I think I am no longer doing this job hunt for me or my folks. I am doing this for her, I can't afford to let her down or on us.

of course you will lose her alright.
you cant trap her down for 7 years!
all the money you used to go to school you couldnt even use to marry her.
see the truth be told, your priority is not marrying her.
you better face that reality and let her go.
if she wants to be with you just cos she wants to is different.
but if she expects marriage then give her or let her find someone who will.
stop being selfish.

Manontheledge:


Thanks man, after 7yrs I know her pretty well. I have stylishly brought up the idea of engagement but made it look like it were someone else and she made a remark about not liking getting engaged for long. So I already have an idea.

We are close to both our families.

I have been assuring her, I call almost 9 times in a day, send lengthy encouragement sms. In fact I think I am no longer doing this job hunt for me or my folks. I am doing this for her, I can't afford to let her down or on us.

Don't make that mistake brother, its better you zero your mind and hunt for your desires.
If she stays, fine, you will be glad she was there when you were in your trying times.
If she leaves, fine, don't hate her, just put yourself in her shoes with the pressure ladies face, and you will understand why she had to. Luke I said, don't hate her if it comes to that, as she has her target also and those fantasies of these days may have clouded her mind, just forge ahead.
You think you can't love again? Don't worry, make money first or just pray God transforms your status and life..... then come back and quote me by then that you can't love another.
Till then, Just do your job search and all for yourself and family that laboured to put your life in order, and not for any lady, no matter how long you have been together.

Manontheledge:


Thanks man, after 7yrs I know her pretty well. I have stylishly brought up the idea of engagement but made it look like it were someone else and she made a remark about not liking getting engaged for long. So I already have an idea.

We are close to both our families.

I have been assuring her, I call almost 9 times in a day, send lengthy encouragement sms. In fact I think I am no longer doing this job hunt for me or my folks. I am doing this for her, I can't afford to let her down or on us.

You have no problem then.

Stop nursing the fear that she will go, that will affect your relationship.

Back then, I pay my girl's bike fee to the bike man so i can collect my change (U know what that means ? was broke AF.)

Now she picks any car key she lays her hand on without restriction.

Just keep telling her things u will do for her no matter how crazy and impossible it sounds and try and be faithful when money comes.

Plenty girls came much later then but i told them point blank that LOYALTY is to my one and only girl. She is now my wife

From ur write up I can see ur already doing ur best at the time to keep things going,but u know she may not be that strong enough to hold on for long as her peers are getting married already,she may fall for the pressure of family and ladies time thing .

My advice for u is to step up ur hustle bro,dont be so bent on getting white collar job,u can try ur luck on other things,u can set up something with little capital ,give ur sef a time target whiles u still apply for jobs. But dont just sit a d wait for these jobs which may not come anytime soon.

With the little u make u can go ahead and marry ur woman,u two can put hands together and build a good future, if she's as good as u said she'll add to ur success.

In summary,dont wait till ur heavily loaded b4 u get married, everybody must not have that big wedding ceremony, it can be a morning mass wedding,a little gathering, what matters is the heart and intentions of the major two people involved .

Marshalxv:
From ur write up I can see ur already doing ur best at the time to keep things going,but u know she may not be that strong enough to hold on for long as her peers are getting married already,she may fall for the pressure of family and ladies time thing .

My advice for u is to step up ur hustle bro,dont be so bent on getting white collar job,u can try ur luck on other things,u can set up something with little capital ,give ur sef a time target whiles u still apply for jobs. But dont just sit a d wait for these jobs which may not come anytime soon.

With the little u make u can go ahead and marry ur woman,u two can put hands together and build a good future, if she's as good as u said she'll add to ur success.

In summary,dont wait till ur heavily loaded b4 u get married, everybody must not have that big wedding ceremony, it can be a morning mass wedding,a little gathering, what matters is the heart and intentions of the major two people involved .

Many thanks man, frankly I am not a hustle/entrepreneur kind of person, I won't do well at it. I know my strength and weakness. I am very good at my field and I have no doubt something will come up soon.

About the wedding, I have never planned of even having a big wedding, a destination wedding of just four people is enough....

Manontheledge:


Many thanks man, frankly I am not a hustle/entrepreneur kind of person, I won't do well at it. I know my strength and weakness. I am very good at my field and I have no doubt something will come up soon.

About the wedding, I have never planned of even having a big wedding, a destination wedding of just four people is enough....

Ok bro,just do ur best and leave the rest to God if she's for u things will surely turn out good. Best of luck .

All you need is to go and make money first. Even, with money you may not have true love less when u r broke ass. Money is a man's love n confidence.

Double your hustling and bitch around with these girls.

The reality is that you guys might not end up together, pressure could push her to marry anyone and along the line she regrets not marrying you, mehn your focus should be career sorry but things like this happens however you need to do something because time is of the essence I do feel bad for you because you seem to genuinely love her, I blame this country not you, men have it harder. What's your degree? If it's it related I could help share the cv but can't promise anything.