This happened to my twin brother yesterday, I don’t know what advice to give him which is the essence of this post. Please we need your advice..


So I got back from Abuja last night after a long 2 weeks of working with the hardest set of people who don’t share the same views with you. Happy to see everybody again.. Really missed my aunt’s vegetable soup and my new PS3, Home Sweet Home.
Out of the blue I noticed my brother looking unseemly hyper active which is not normal, I had a feeling something is wrong.. its either he had stolen (not stolen per say ) my money or done something that will get me upset when I find out. But it turned out I was wrong when I asked what was really going on with him. Taiwo had a broken heart. He said his girlfriend(a young, decent and innocent looking girl who isn’t from a well to do background, hasn’t gotten into school because of her family financial status ) broke his heart.

I asked: How?

He said he had a terrible feeling about her on Wednesday (15th of this month). Something he could not explain at that moment but he really felt it and it affected his mood for the rest of that day. When he got back from work that day he called and asked how her day went. She replied- it was ok.
He asked again, this time asking her what she did from the minutes she woke up to the minute she picked his call. She answered But Taiwo felt she was hiding something from him.
My brother said he had a dream about her that night saying she was being unfaithful and that was the second time he had that strong feeling about her.
Yesterday she came to see my brother at home, they had fun and he begged her to tell him the truth and she confessed that the had sex with a guy that Wednesday, A guy she claim she is not dating… My brother asked why she did it and the stupid girl said she don’t know that it just happened - and she is sorry-.

This is the girl my brother want to leave his graduate internship in a consulting firm for, take a up a blue collar job in Abudhabi , trying to sell one of our late dad plot of land to process his visa and travel expenses.. so he can earn enough to send her to the university and make her achieve her dreams… Did I mention he use to steal my money, give her so that she can foot some necessary bills. In fact I caught him one morning praying to God for her to be successful and find favors in all her endeavors.
I was also fooled , I thought she is the right girl. And I supported him to go along with the sale of our father’s land.. I believed they will spend the rest of their lives together.

I was shocked when I heard and I don’t know what to say I was angry but my useless brother still loves her. She tried to call me to beg him but I swear if I see her, I fit slap am.

Before i give any bad advice what would you advice my brother.
Please be sincere.

Better he walks out of that so called relationship and move on with his life. Hard to have one's heart broken like that esp if you have been faithful all along. He should take this time to develop himself.

it's obvious he loves the gal more than she loves him.....he shud man up and move on.....sum ppl are afraid of leaving or breaking up with their partner for fearing of not getting someone better,,,there is always someone better out there....

Having an appearance of decency is not the same as being decent.

Truly decent girls are rare to find!

A girl's decency is measured by her level of discipline and loyalty and not her appearance. Many girls out there with the appearance of decency are fake, it is poverty provoked humility that is only on the display.

If God can approve of divorce on the ground of unfaithfulness in marriage, then your brother is at risk of losing his life and destiny if he keeps that girl.

She is a confirmed daughter of Jezebel!

Please, make sure your brother chase her far away before she infects him with HIV or Hepatitis from those random preek adventures she has been having.

She is such a cheerful giver!


Most girls a truly evil but look harmless.

collins1895 , delishpot : So you don't think there is any chance or possibility she can change even by realizing what she has done??

Xopoh:
collins1895 , delishpot : So you don't think there is any chance or possibility she can change even by realizing what she has done??

Humans are unpredictable. She may or may not change. So it's best he does what is good for his own sanity in this case. If it was me, I would let her go esp if there was no rift between us in the past that she would say pushed her to look outside. It's his call. Let him decide what is best for him.

delishpot:
Better he walks out of that so called relationship and move on with his life.

delishpot:
He should take this time to develop himself.

Fantastic!

Those 2 statements are the only things he should do right now...if he loves his life. The problem is that they don't ever hear! They will be talking of love, which kain stupid love sef? . I always tell people this:
(1) The first and most important thing for you in life is how to stay alive and to survive. In other words, your number 1 priority in life, is your security and safety.
(2) After securing your life and ensuring your safety, the next most important thing is how to succeed and do well in life.
As it is, these 2 things should always be your topmost priorities! Until these 2 are fully guaranteed, I don't see why you should be pursuing any other thing especially stupid talks about love instead of developing your life.

I'm still trying to understand what's decent about the lady.

If your brother is still so blind in love, please leave him to remain blind until that same love opens his eyes. It's only that love that can naturally and forever open his eyes. And believe me, that's the best teacher.

1StopRudeness:
Its just sex....wats the biggie..Sex is like one of the fastest mistake that could ever happen..10-20mins it's over....what am I even saying...some na 3mins for quickie, u wont even off any clothes seff...

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it won't worry the heart an cause trust issues, but like she said...its just happened...what if she ddnt say anything...she doesn't seem like a horrible person to me

I'm a guy oooo...and sometimes..I can say for sure that these things sometime actually do just happen...sex and love are two parallel lines..ive loved a girl before and it just happened that I slammed another...

Like she said....it just happened....

So you mean if a girl do thesame to you, A girl you never thought can do such a thing. you wouldn't take a deal in it. You will just be yourself .huh?

1StopRudeness:
Its just sex....

wats the biggie

..Sex is like one of the fastest mistake that could ever happen..10-20mins it's over....what am I even saying...some na 3mins for quickie, u wont even off any clothes seff...

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it won't worry the heart an cause trust issues, but like she said...its just happened...what if she ddnt say anything...she doesn't seem like a horrible person to me

I'm a guy oooo...and sometimes..I can say for sure that these things sometime actually do just happen...sex and love are two parallel lines..ive loved a girl before and it just happened that I slammed another...

Like she said....it just happened....

the bolded?
You just weak me.

Can you imagine? No remorse at all

A lady just murdered her husband over infidelity on a thread already on front page. I hope you get married to someone like you that will always tell you "it just happened". At least, such a lady will understand you perfectly.

bennyann:


the bolded?
You just weak me.

Can you imagine? No remorse at all

A lady just murdered her husband over infidelity on a thread already on front page. I hope you get married to someone like you that will always tell you "it just happened". At least, such a lady will understand you perfectly.

See...pple make mistakes... its happens either way...doesn't make it any worse cos it's a girl that's the culprit this time around...what makes it horrible and unbearable is if the person is a serial cheat...weda man or woman counterpart

She offended the guy....she confessed...
Okay...what if she ddnt say anything...
See that's what happens in most relationships....the cheating partner isn't caught yet or not confessing on their own....
Pple just go around blabbing my ...."my partner is faithful"
All na stunt oooo...
A whole lot of relationships with 100% trust and confidence have actually had history of one or two cheating, they look past it and forgive each other....and eventually don't cheat anymore...oga..there's no perfect person anywhere oooo..dont let anybody give u camouflage

Xopoh:



So you mean if a girl do thesame to you, A girl you never thought can do such a thing. you wouldn't take a deal in it. You will just be yourself .huh?

She confessed on her own....thats something a lot of pple can't do, they lie even when u catch them under the guy....

I'm just saying what If she ddnt tell me...and we'll be in a relationship of lies and i'll think my babe is cool and faithful...

Take it or leave ...more than half the chic around are either cheating or have at some point stopped cheating...
The truth is...we guys meet a girl...we assume or hope she's not in any relationship....but deep down in our heart, we know we are hijacking the chic from another dude she's probably managing or trying to leave....
There's always a moment of slip up/make up sex advances from one ex or some guy she probably liked before u came...it happens...later when she knows in her heart she truly loves u, thats when 100% faithfulness now comes in....
What I can't condone is serial cheating...one or two mistakes isn't that bad...nobody holy pass oooo...

Xopoh:



So you mean if a girl do thesame to you, A girl you never thought can do such a thing. you wouldn't take a deal in it. You will just be yourself .huh?

^^^^^^
^^^^^^
@Xopoh

I read your post all over again and the
story resonates! I just felt a deep sense of
connection to you and you post.


Just as you indicated in your original post,
it was the GIRL that confessed that she had
sex with someone - perhaps only once.


If she hadn't told your twin brother, he
wouldn't have known. For her to have told
your brother, it shows that she has a heart
of GOLD contrary to the opinion of some
posters on this thread. Don't pay too much
attention to the negative vibes. I've been
on the face of the planet for over four decades
and I know this is the way to go!


Did YOU know that it is because of EMOTIONAL
PAIN that females sometimes mistakenly
stray into the arms of someone else before
realising their mistake? This pain comes
from family, financial, hormonal and/or social issues!


I want your brother - and YOU to forgive her
with every fibre in your veins. Some BAD
ladies would NEVER confess and keep a
straight face! Those kinds of women who
do NOT confess are more dangerous!


I too would have been deeply angry and shattered initially
because it is normal. But there are people who
have had such experiences and still went
ahead to forgive and had a good marriage.


I want to also commend Taiwo your brother for
showing love and an interest in the welfare
of his girl which is a NOBLE thing to do.
It is not stupidity, because every cause has
an effect on this planet. When you give with a pure heart, you
will receive!


He needs to step back a bit from the
relationship to have a higher perspective
on what is going on. He should make some
money and build his own career first. The girl
should also work on her academics and
career by also doing a short course in
catering/baking/events decoration, etc.,
that would bring her some income in
her area of residence.


Also I don't want YOU both to report her to
your family members so that they don't
become very hostile towards her. I believe
if your twin brother stands by her, she will
make a good mother of his kids. Even if he
doesn't get married to her, he would have
gained a higher understanding of life and
get someone else, but the pattern of your
story shows that she will stand by your
brother from now and down the road because
she confessed by herself.


Last but not least, let Taiwo your brother read this
post and sleep on it.

I want you both to read a book such as "Men Are From Mars,
Women Are From Venus." You might be able
to get a free version to download online via the
search engines
and gain useful insights on male and female
interaction and psychology.


Also if you can all go for NLP training or
read about NLP[ Neuro-Linguistic Programming]
it will help you all deal with the issue at hand
and forgive her and also face other major
challenges that will come your way like a piece
of cake.
You can do an NLP training with the popular Lanre Olusola in Lagos, and Innocent Usar
in Jos or Lagos.



All the best to you and your brother.


PS: If a woman commits an
infraction like that more than once, then
she would be history to me. Love is
also not stupid.

1StopRudeness:


See...pple make mistakes... its happens either way...doesn't make it any worse cos it's a girl that's the culprit this time around...what makes it horrible and unbearable is if the person is a serial cheat...weda man or woman counterpart

She offended the guy....she confessed...
Okay...what if she ddnt say anything...
See that's what happens in most relationships....the cheating partner isn't caught yet or not confessing on their own....
Pple just go around blabbing my ...."my partner is faithful"
All na stunt oooo...
A whole lot of relationships with 100% trust and confidence have actually had history of one or two cheating, they look past it and forgive each other....and eventually don't cheat anymore...oga..there's no perfect person anywhere oooo..dont let anybody give u camouflage

Truly, there's no perfect person but do you want to tell me you don't believe there are people that have not cheated and will never cheat?

Are you aware many now play the confession game so as to decieve?

Are you aware many of us sound like we are forgiving on such issues only because we've been there before?

Are you also aware that most of those relationships develop trust issues? And we know the consequences.

I'm not saying anyone is perfect but no one should tell me it just happened for happening sake.

How can you be in a relationship, then have sex with someone else just for having sex sake. Do you want to tell me there was no emotional feelings involved? Did they just meet each other or they've been feeding their lust for each other? Or they had the urge at that time, so it just happened?

Anyway, we shouldn't let it happen again