thotianna:
Many small boys on NL, I pity any girl that takes them seriour.
See their long list of what women should do to please men but if a woman starts a thread about how men should please women they will rush in to bash her without reading first.

That clearly tells you the age range and level of maturity of males who respond to topics like this.

safarigirl:
I am not even trying to attract any kind.

The difference between a thief and an innocent man is that one has been caught and the other hasn't. Even the men who aren't whoring around are either smokers, drunks, gamblers or some other funny character.

Virtually every man has a vice and same goes for women. Just pick the comfortable evil

This mentality is so wrong. Not all men drink, smoke or gamble, let alone LovePeddler. I strongly believe you've been getting too much parlour gists which are far from the truth in reality.

When you cant cook very well

How will you be happy in that marriage

Smh!

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Sanchez01:

This mentality is so wrong. Not all men drink, smoke or gamble, let alone LovePeddler. I strongly believe you've been getting too much parlour gists which are far from the truth in reality.

check his age, back ground, exposure, level of education (formal and informal), hence, his comment

queenfav:
Even the men a woman lies stark naaked in bed for, will still cheat if they want to.... It takes a lot of self discipline and the fear of God for a man to be a good husband, it's not a function of what his woman does or doesn't do!A woman should however try to stay attractive for her man.

Sisi, if you carry that mentality into your relationship or marriage you 'll wreck yourself even with a faithful man. For unfaithful known there are thousands of faithful men and there are undetermined numbers of unfaithful women who just pretend but their husbands are fathering another man's child.
Women who have faithful husbands don't expose their husbands to their friends. So, little ones like you think such don't exist.

ImaIma1:
If the man only gets close or acts nice only when he wants sex,it is a problem. Withholding sex by either party is a marital crime .

Rudeness comes with "arifin"...taking your spouse for granted. You should treat your spouse with special attention.

Respect is hard for a lot of women because you are wondering why you need to respect this guy that has been your boyfriend. Someone has to be the head and it is him. Not holding on to every little wrong he does will go a long way to help.

Bingo!!!.. Your type is rare here and nowadays.

safarigirl:
lol...that's the work of a photo editing app...does that even look natural to you abi eye dey pain you?

The app helped you recreate yourself as you wanted it. The niqqa is not far from the truth neither eye dey pain am

We know we have fault the female folks, but men contributes to our faults too. Most married men still don't appreciate their wives either, its like a scale falling out of their eyes after marrying. That's why I like being ur friend b4 becoming ur girlfriend, cos if we re good friends first we can b good partner, some men don't know how to be romantic. I have met one like that. So if u try being he sees u as if u re too desperate.

Women this, women that ... As if the woman is the only person in the marriage.

The simple truth is that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Total rubbish from silly kids who think marriage is what you see in the movies.

Fortunately or unfortunately, women are more empowered these days, and divorce is no longer a taboo subject per sentence, so not everyone will have to put up with entitled man children because they want to please society

EmirOMENT:
This advise is good for both husband and wife and not only the women.
Creating this thread specifically for women means that you're subjecting them to mere objects/machines in their matrimonial home. I see no reason why a man can't also adhere to the above advise.

this particular advice is for women, maybe some other time men we be treated dont just bring comparison to spoil d atmosphere.

safarigirl:
and the most annoying thing about such men is that thwy are not in shape.

It's one thing to wantg your wife to look good, buy you cannot expect her to look like Rihanna when you're looking like Rick Ross.

A marriage is a partnership that requires two people to constantly pull each other up whenever one person is down, not to beat the person down.

We are the patriarchy

the number 4. and 2. is what normally lead to divorce, my quote is 'divorce Her and Mary the divorcee because someone mistake is a lesson for the other ' have a pleasurable relationship.

A woman that does all these things, simply doesn't love her husband.



Maybe forced marriage or something.

queenfav:
Even the men a woman lies stark naaked in bed for, will still cheat if they want to.... It takes a lot of self discipline and the fear of God for a man to be a good husband, it's not a function of what his woman does or doesn't do!A woman should however try to stay attractive for her man.

What if you have simply said "...stay attractive"? The popular wisdom in my place goes " Don't do a thing unless it is for the importance of thyself, whoever ya doing it for is not promised, but you are promised" . You can tell him ya keeping it beautiful for him to water his ego, that's right, but deep down, know better.
Did that sound like I'm dishing out instructions? Lol, my bad

When I was in school they used to say never marry a woman who doesn't love you.

Now I have seen that hell fire cannot be worse than marrying a wrong woman who doesn't love you, it will be a living hell on earth.

Chuks9000:
Women (married) have their overwhelmingly great sides. But their are some behaviours that could be detrimental to the relationship.

1. Lack of sex.
Having sex once in a month! She will always
come up with excuses like: I have a headache, I'm not in the mood, you only come to me when you need sex...
Sex is one of the cheapest things to get out there! But when the man holds those quality time with his wife as sacred, lack of sex can be a spoiler in the relationship.
The funny thing is that most time when he presses on, you tend to submit. Why then make him labour?
The worst is when you never initiate sex. No words to describe this torture.
Again, why will your husband walk into the room just for you to begin to adjust your top to conceal your boobs or bum? If you can't display the resources for him freely, then don't fault him if he thinks you are having an affair outside.

2. 'Disrespectfulness'.
Not acknowledging your husband at appropriate moments.
Imaging not saying good morning when you see him in the morning. Maybe after a fight. But making it a habit. Hmmm.
She will say you are on leave and still you don't have time to call. But when she is on leave, she will pretend to be asleep until the man leaves the house. Sometimes, he remembers he left his phone or something behind. He comes back to get it and relises that she was only waiting for him to leave the house before she gets up. What a shame.
Your husband gets home, rings the bell. You go unlock the door and return to what you were doing without receiving him at the door.
Funny when you always think his going out to have a drink is a sin. It's part of a man's DNA. Please get use to it.

3. Love for money.
Money makes the world go round.
But if the only time you are happy is when your palm is greased with money or gift, then, there is an issue.

4. 'Rudeness.
This is a little different from number 2.
"Baby, it's not done that way. See how it's done." When you take offence anytime a correction is suggested, you create a gap in the relationship. The husband cannot even ask if you have seen his wallet without you taking offence.

5. Pouring your annoyance on the kids always.
No illustration needed here.
If you have an issue bothering you, why not discuss it amicably?


These have been the order of the day and I just need your mature contribution.

Please if you cannot relate with the topic, you should take your joke(s) else where.

Thanks in advance.

From an unbiased front I'd say these things apply both to men and women

Things men do that are not mistakes
1. Cheating on their wives
2. Taking them for granted and not appreciating their little efforts
3: expecting them to do anything that involves the house, children and taking care of them like kids.
4. Leaving everywhere dirty and waiting for their wife to come back from work to clean and cook even when they've been home all day or earlier and ask for sex from the tired woman
5. Taking care of everyone when they are sick including inlaws but even her husband is not home he's with side chick.
Infact men have begin to define wifes as
W: wife
I: incubators
F: food tunnels
E: excessive
S: sex
Next time someone complains about ladies again think twic.

EmirOMENT:
This advise is good for both husband and wife and not only the women.
Creating this thread specifically for women means that you're subjecting them to mere objects/machines in their matrimonial home. I see no reason why a man can't also adhere to the above advise.

Probably coz the woman own the home. No matter wah goes wrong nd who z @ fault, the community doesn't care buh easy blame or lemme say pin the success or failure of the home on the woman.

I hope u get my point

EsotericMonk:

You , my friend , are overrated. Sounds like the product of a broken home.
You can use the same arguement for having a gf, for having a nation, for anything that brings people together to work towards a common goal.
Bottom line: You are overrated.
The poster below me though: zero sense made.

Don't bring the broken home thing. Even if z from one, he never chooses his parents. Every kid wants a happy family I guess some of us just ain't that lucky.

I hope u understand me. The guy choosed z life, dz y he reasons the way he does. His not evident coz z from a broken home or so.

We r all d way we r. The world won't stop throwing peels on our part it just depend how much advantage we can take of it.

Are you married �

mickeymimi:
Sometimes it could be problems conceiving a child..... neglect ,,, stress from work......,money issue . If she is avoiding you ....please dont ignore her ..it is a sign that she is not happy and upset about something she expected you to do or know. Just keep your cool and try to talk to her in a calm manner .....dont show anger even if you are angry so you can get to bottom of the matter.....

You are right if this nonverbal reaction to offences is one off or very occasional. If it becomes her settled way of getting attention, then there is a problem. Verbal communication is the only means that cannot be misunderstood. Men ain't mind readers.

hobermener:
Marriage is hella overrated!!
Why bring two different people from different backgrounds, who hold different values and possess different traits under one union, merging them as both one, leaving them with the life long struggle of reconciling their differences with time

I just taya

that is why it is called marriage. you most first court to understand yourselves and stop. giving marriage bad name olodo. if you can't marry, back your box simple.

1. Poor communication:

In every relationship we find ourselves,communication is vital. No one is a mind reader and no matter what it may be that could be a reason for your unhappiness,speak out immediately in a stern manner and not laikadaisically.
Many women are found of calling their hubby's relatives to complain about certain issues meanwhile the hubby at home does not have an idea of how hurting they are concerning that issue.

2. Sharing their marital issue with a male admirer/friend .

Not every guy you know is responsible. We have some low lives that has no regard for any form of decency and it is no news that many guys are in this category.
When you discuss your marital issues with an admirer or a male friend,most times what these guys hear is "im vulnurable,i need you as a succor". This is why most times,when a married woman take solace in a male friend,the end result is usually an illicit affair.

3. Being careless with male friends .

I have always maintained that there is nothing like just friends between a married woman and another man.
If he is not your childhood friend,co-worker,co-student,business partner then you have no business with him.
Many married ladies have a careless habit of keeping male friends indiscriminately and worst still get so careless allowing these guys call them by their maiden names.
I will never call a married lady by her maiden name because just as the name suggests,its her unmarried name but will rather put Mrs,sis,madam.
When a married lady is called by her maiden name,it diminishes as well as tarnishes her respect,image and matrimony giving room for a potential unethical relationship between her and the "just male friends".

4. Seeking vengeance .

Many married lady tend to take some actions in order to prove to their hubby that a sauce for the goose is also ok for the gander but unfortunately this will destroy your marriage more.
When you take a revenge on your hubby by sleeping with another man because he cheats on you,of what use will that be to you?
What value will that add to your life?
Learn to maintain your dignity no matter what because at the end,the shame will all come back to you and as I always reiterate. ..nobody can make you do what you are not capable of doing.

5. Talking down on your hubby.

This is one foolish mistake many ladies do. You and your hubby are one and talking down on him means talking down on yourself. It is one thing to voice out what he did and another to use outright abusive words on him.

In situations where a couple seperates,some ladies will not mind talking down on their hubby with a friend,their family and even with male suitors and i keep wondering if the woman thinks this will earn her any form of respect.

If you call your hubby a sick man then what does that make you? Or you call your hubby an asshole then it takes an asshole to tango with such a man.
No matter how angry you may be,don't ever rule out reconcilation and even if you are never going to reconcile,respect your matrimony with him even if he deserves no respect from you.

6.Moving out of their matrimonial home hastily over an avoidable reason .

What excuse do you have for running out of your marriage?
He cheated on you,he does not give you attention,he took you for granted,he curses you and many more are the excuses married ladies hold on to and i keep asking this one question;
Will leaving solve the problem? Even a divorce is not a way out because its a 50/50 chance that the next man won't be worse so i advice that you confront that problem and try your best to solve it.

7. Believing there is always a better man out there .

This is one foolish thing married ladies believe. That they will get a better replacement.There are more than enough never married ladies out there for the unmarried guys so you will do yourself a great honor by sticking to your husband.
There is really no better man out there and except you are faced with an unrepentant violent man,please remain in your marriage because you will soon realize that its the same cycle we all go through in any union we find ourselves and there will always be one reason to leave any man you are married to.

Many women divorcees realize this too late as they end up as a toy in the hands of randy men,as second wife,or end up single for a long time as many men will believe they are doing them a big favour by wanting to be with them.

If you must throw in the towel on your marriage,make sure you have exhausted all means of reconciliation because i keep saying that it is better to be single at 40 than to be a divorcee at 20 and a 40 year old single lady is more maritally appealing than a 20year old divorcee,funny but true so think very well before you run out of your marriage.

8.Sharing their marital issues with single female friends ..

Like seriously! it may surprise you to know that most of your friends who are still single are not happy that you are married so take your marital problem to them at your own risk.

9.Not looking sexy enough.

If our sultry actress Omotola jalade is looking this sexy after three children then tell me why you can't look sexy too.
Laziness is one big problem with most married ladies.Men get carried away by what they see so do yourself a favour, get that big tummy down and get into crazy bum shorts and flaunt that thing.
We know you cant maintain that sexy look we saw the very first time we met you but at least try your best to look sexy for the next 30years for us after marriage.

10. Never sorry .

Many women are so proud,egocentric and sturbborn to the extent that when they do or say things that are conspicously wrong,they will never or hardly apologize but rather would want to buttress the rationale behind their actions and most men see this as an appalling nature. Be quick to apologize even when you are right..men are naturally egocentric hence the need to bring down your ego to avoid the case of two men married to each other.

11.Geting insecure and monitoring her husband

I have always advised married women to let their men be. Believe whatever he says even when it is clear that he is lieng.The moment you start getting overly jealous,suspicious is the moment you begin to lose your self worth. Don't bother whether he is faithful or not but sternly tell him to play safe if he must be unfaithful and warn him to do it far from you cos what the eyes do not see do not hurt. Yes this sounds crazy but trust me,it works like magic because the husband will likely be on his toes and respect you the more. Remember that a man will always be a man and you can never monitor him
.
12.Not good enough in the kitchen and the other room : .

If you are a married lady reading this please don't ever joke with these two places because any woman who knows how to use these two places will most likely have her husband where she wants him cos the way to a man's heart is forever through his stomach and down there.

13.Taking the job of a full housewife.

As you can clearly deduce,being a full housewife is a big job because those who babysit get paid so I quite understand how demanding this can be but nevertheless,don't settle for that,no matter how demanding the task of keeping the home front can be, still do something to be financially independent. Your husband may tell you he does not want you to work promising to provide all your needs but we both know he really can't do that without asking funny questions from you when you demand for money so it is important to have something doing so that the financial pressure will be less on your husband and you can also be self reliant.Being financially independent can also come in handy if your hubby faces any financial crises so take this advise seriously because financial pressure is a great destroyer of marriage.

I don't know if these make sense

https://www.nairaland.com/3867979/13-awkward-things-married-women

cococandy:
This is rather too specific like it’s from your personal experience. Why don’t you discuss it with your wife instead? That’s better than putting it here unless you’re sure she’s reading.

It is not specific sister. Most married men can easily relate to some or even all of these attitudes. Don't water down the thread with this kind of sacarsm.

hobermener:
Marriage is hella overrated!!
Why bring two different people from different backgrounds, who hold different values and possess different traits under one union, merging them as both one, leaving them with the life long struggle of reconciling their differences with time

I just taya

To continue the human race and existence of course. One of the main reasons we get married is to reproduce offsprings, train them and by so doing, human race will never cease to continue.
MW, it will be unfair to impregnate a woman and leave the responsibility of bringing up the contributive efforts to her and vice versa. So it is necessary they come together and share the parenthood together, it makes beautiful and more sense that way.
That being trashed, op, I think one of the constant reasons women lose their marriages is when they rushed into marriage and they couldnt make amendment or adjust as necessary.

Jupxter:
Halleluyah, it hits FP.


Lack of Trust

Nagging

Trying to Domineer the man

Emotional Abuse

Verbal Assault

Emotional Stonewalling

Lack of Restrain

Lack of Sensitivity

Lack of Care

Disrespect

Too Much Talk

Intolerance

Bad tasting Meals

Boring Sex

Rudeness

Disloyalty

Lack of proper Hygiene

God bless you bro...

dz matter slf weaken me, no wonda home wreckers full USA now, hence d alarming rate of divorce. i see dz trend dey gradually snake its way to Africa, Nigeria. God give me d computer eye wey go make me search for d woman wey go want to stick wit mi like Eve no matter what, d garden or no garden eden. Adam still glued to Eve, upon say tins went south and unforgiven. what i mean to say is dey only had eachother wit nobody else and adam saw eve as d extension of himslf. d solution to all our marital problems is to go back to the GENESIS? WHER'E IT ALL BEGAN. and trying to know where did we go wrong? "quote me if u feel me"

Chuks9000:
Women (married) have their overwhelmingly great sides. But their are some behaviours that could be detrimental to the relationship.

1. Lack of sex.
Having sex once in a month! She will always
come up with excuses like: I have a headache, I'm not in the mood, you only come to me when you need sex...
Sex is one of the cheapest things to get out there! But when the man holds those quality time with his wife as sacred, lack of sex can be a spoiler in the relationship.
The funny thing is that most time when he presses on, you tend to submit. Why then make him labour?
The worst is when you never initiate sex. No words to describe this torture.
Again, why will your husband walk into the room just for you to begin to adjust your top to conceal your boobs or bum? If you can't display the resources for him freely, then don't fault him if he thinks you are having an affair outside.

2. 'Disrespectfulness'.
Not acknowledging your husband at appropriate moments.
Imaging not saying good morning when you see him in the morning. Maybe after a fight. But making it a habit. Hmmm.
She will say you are on leave and still you don't have time to call. But when she is on leave, she will pretend to be asleep until the man leaves the house. Sometimes, he remembers he left his phone or something behind. He comes back to get it and relises that she was only waiting for him to leave the house before she gets up. What a shame.
Your husband gets home, rings the bell. You go unlock the door and return to what you were doing without receiving him at the door.
Funny when you always think his going out to have a drink is a sin. It's part of a man's DNA. Please get use to it.

3. Love for money.
Money makes the world go round.
But if the only time you are happy is when your palm is greased with money or gift, then, there is an issue.

4. 'Rudeness.
This is a little different from number 2.
"Baby, it's not done that way. See how it's done." When you take offence anytime a correction is suggested, you create a gap in the relationship. The husband cannot even ask if you have seen his wallet without you taking offence.

5. Pouring your annoyance on the kids always.
No illustration needed here.
If you have an issue bothering you, why not discuss it amicably?


These have been the order of the day and I just need your mature contribution.

Please if you cannot relate with the topic, you should take your joke(s) else where.

Thanks in advance.

Thanks Man. I had to scold my wife for harassing our kids some days ago. Whatever was bothering her should not be suffered by the kids. They don't understand until you share with them and they can be so loving when they understand our challenges

Aadibros:


While I agree with some of what you have written. However, I have the following responses to share.

1. Men should be patient to truly understand why their wives give those excuses about sex. She could be stressed out or have hormonal issues. Also, women's urge for sex isn't same as men's - medically explained. Husband go do all the romantic stuff to him GF to arouse her but e go just command him wife like sacrificial lamb wey suppose just spread for bed. The question is, how sincerely has he tried to communicate with her to understand why there is a change in how she responds to sex compared to the early times of their marriage? She may be unhappy with the man or certain situations. Also, why wont she lose her urge if her husband only comes to her or becomes nice to her when he needs sex? All your yarns no be excuse for the man to begin go outside him marriage. Like someone correctly said, even when the wife give am daily, man wey go go outside still dey go.

2. I understand and have experienced that behavior but trust me, she is not happy about a lot of things. So if you know how you were so loving before you married her to get the best of her, do same and more to find out why she is happier when you are not around. You annoy her and don't genuinely repent and you think settling an issue ends in love making. Then look for a prostitute not a wife. Nothing justifies a man staying out to drink. It is not in a man's DNA!!!

3. Your third point no even clear.

4. Reactions are effects of earlier actions.

5. The man should learn to love his wife and family the way he need from day 1. I am against either of the parents taking out their anger on innocent children, but this doesn't apply to females alone so don't make it a female thing.

Bottom line, it is not a man's world!!! I don't know where that bull crap came from. Why should a husband treat his wife like he is doing her a favor to be married to him? What the heck do you think you give her or do for her that she cant get more outside too if she decides to go out the way men stupidly justify their reasons for going out? Some men annoyingly say it is to answer a man's name. which dirty name? you be Dangote or Jeff Bezos? How much you even pay for bride price or dowry? How much your best wedding even cost?
The earlier we start treating our wives as wives, the better. Happy wife, happy home!!! Why because they are the support. Nothing lasts long without good support system. Shikina!!!

Wish I could like this comment one million times

queenfav:
Even the men a woman lies stark naaked in bed for, will still cheat if they want to.... It takes a lot of self discipline and the fear of God for a man to be a good husband, it's not a function of what his woman does or doesn't do!A woman should however try to stay attractive for her man.

I admire the truth,always.