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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. (1901 Views)
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Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Nobody: 4:49pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
Hello nairalanders,I am in a dilemma of how to put my younger sister through not to live immorally. We are muslims by birth.I became a christian last year and through my influence,she get converted to the christian faith as well(my dad is absolutely against this).As time goes on,to the best of my knowledge and understanding,I came to realize that the christian faith is likely not to be true.This prompted me to reluctantly consider Islam for few days.In the process of my giving in back to islam,she also deconverted from the christian faith and revert back to being a muslimah(as a result of me influencing her) to the happiness of my dad and his relatives.Without much ado,I am now irreligious but God conscious and moral.Now,since she is out of the christian faith,I dont want her to live immorally and i dont want her to be immersed in the muslim faith due to some reasons which is best known to me.I dont want her moral standard to be lowered or do away with.We were deeper life church members,I am thinking about encouraging her to be going to the church(eventhough this idea will be difficult to implement considering the reactions it will cause -from my dad,his relatives,and some neighbours of where we are living presently).We are presently not with my dad but my mum in Lagos,my mum is a cherubim & seraphim chirch member and she has been following her to church which I dont like.Should she be studying the bible and living by its moral teachings? because I think that her belief may affect how she will live.Everyone advise is needed thanks. modified to correct some errors. |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by CaptainG00D: 4:54pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
ok let me get this straight From muslim to Christian from.christian to muslim again... and now ur sister from muslim to cherubim!!... sorry oooh.... but I think u people should fix ur religious confusion first... no church or mosque or white garmennt can take u to heaven. At this juncture i have to invite Nwamaikpe on this matter bcoz this one pass me. 1 Like |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by bloodmoneyspita: 4:55pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
this is the most fakest story ever concocted in nairaland. |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Nobody: 4:59pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
bloodmoneyspita:How did you arrive at the above ascertion bro? 1 Like |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Nobody: 5:03pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
CaptainG00D:I know,thanks. |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Nobody: 5:07pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
@hopefulLandlord,I saw you viewing this thread,any comment from you? |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by bloodmoneyspita: 5:07pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
tundexweb: the story is fake but if it's not then the father is missing in your sister's life, if she had a good relationship with her father she won't become immoral. The love a father shows to a daughter wont make her succumb to any man, the only person she should be asking advice from is her dad unless you are going to be playing the part of her father, she need someone to lead her and if her father isn't there from the beginning it will be hard for you to do the job |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Nobody: 6:00pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
bloodmoneyspita:Sigh!I think you misunderstand my post.To set things straight,she is not immoral but i THINK she may be in the nearest future which I will feel remorseful if that happens.since she is now out of the christian faith that can be guiding her morally,i am afraid that her good moral may be corrupt by external influences.This does not have anything to do with my father but me(as a brother that made her abandoned the christian faith and now having concern about what will be of her spiritually) seeking advice to avert the possibility of her living immorally.She does not know my experience,I am on a journey,I dont want to be the one that will make her tow my path,I am on a journey inside a dark tunnel with no end in view and full of uncertainties,I am currently irreligious and I will not like her to be irreligious so as not to make her life complicated,for her to live a righteous life and for her to be on a safer side -if it happens that the christian faith/belief is true(which I doubt it is). What should I do now,should I leave her to live her life as she want,convince her to embrace the christian faith again cos i know it is good,or...? Everyone is welcome to make a sensible contribution to the thread. I am even feeling uncomfortable going on with this thread cos of its sensitivity and it being personal. |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Nobody: 6:40pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
Cc.Wilgrea7, PastorAIO , AgentOfAllah , LoJ, Sarassin ,MizMycoli.Your contributions are needed,sirs and ma. |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by MizMyColi(f): 6:54pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
bloodmoneyspita: On the contrary, I see a young man who is being sincere and trying to deal with the dissonance he feels. He worries that his choices which his sister emulates might rub off on her wrongly. He is worried that she might be unable to handle the liberation that comes with knowing that you are free to choose what you want to believe, and follow any brand of belief you want. He fears that that the inconsistencies he has found and convinced her about in both religions might well lead her into uncharted territories, and she might inadvertently lose sight of who she is, and never find out what she is called to be. Hi Tundexweb, does this remotely paint the state of your heart concerning her? 1 Like |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by MizMyColi(f): 7:12pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
tundexweb: Uh ohhh.. I did not see this post before making my first contribution... Nonetheless, it's good to know our thoughts are in sync...somewhat. 1 Like |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Nobody: 7:57pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
tundexweb:Please don't take my words negatively, as I don't wish to offend you. How old are you? How old is your sister? Don't you think it is up to her to chose what she wants to do with her life, and what she wants to believe in? Are you not tired to lead her to and fro? From muslim to christian, back to islam now she even follows your mother, you stand against it? Why should she follow your standards and your morality? Please, stop controlling her life. What you are doing will force her some day to rebel, and it will be the end. You will lose her forever. 1 Like |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by AgentOfAllah: 9:11pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
Why are you so possessive of your sister? |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Amberon11: 2:50am On Dec 19, 2017 |
What type of nonsense is This? |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by IsaacBuchi(m): 6:23am On Dec 19, 2017 |
Like you many have lost confidence in religion. However, no matter our religious position, we need to accept that humans cannot inherently do without religion. We are created to be spiritual and we cannot find true inner joy if we do not satisfy our spiritual need. (Sounds like we are doomed, right? Not at all) God himself has made provison for us to satisfy this need. Our work is to look for him till we find him. And when we do find him, our lives would have meaning, we would find freedom from anxious worry and peace of God that excels all thought. God is not far from each one of us (Acts 17:26, 27) If you search for him, he will let himself be found by you.” (1 Chronicles 28:9) To help empathise with your feelings let me borrow this note:
Now it is easy to want to remain moral by ourselves without the help of religion, just as you want for your sister. But that is impossible. We cannot be truly moral without religion. Another important question this raises is, How can I find true religion. These links to the ff articles could prove helpful Lastly, since you are trying to take what seems to be a parent role look at the following articles that teaches Parents how to educate children about sex that'll hepful to you. https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/questions/parents-teach-children-about-sex/ https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/awake-no5-2016-october/teaching-your-child-about-sex/ tundexweb: |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Nobody: 8:01am On Dec 19, 2017 |
MizMyColi:Good to know.Any advise for me? |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Nobody: 9:26am On Dec 19, 2017 |
LoJ:19 and 15 years old respectively. I am afraid she might choose wrongly. Actually,when I became a christian,I sensed the need to explain somethings to her and she accepted the faith voluntarily without any coersion or pestering from me.After gradually loosing believe in the christian faith due to the outcomes of my findings about the faith and sensing that Islam may be the true religion afterall,I reluctantly called her attention to some verses in the Bible that give credence to Islamic theology and she later accepted Islam.Now that I have come to the knowledge that both faiths and their holy books are possibly not to be from the creator of this universe.Since my stance on religious beliefs,especially that of the christian is on transition.That is the reason I am encouraging her(not compelling or commanding) to embrace the christian faith,atleast and to the best of my knowledge coupled with my experience,that will be better off(living righteously,morally and having love for people-wise) than being immersed in Islamic practise or cherubim practise. And to the last paragraph of the above post of yours,I am not controlling her (no thanks to the use of the word INFLUENCE in my posts),I dont have hold on her,she is at times strong willed. Lastly,your contribution is well appreciated,looking forward for your reply,thanks. @Mizmycoli and others that care to know.I have not and not ready to tell her the errors and inconsistencies of both faiths,especially that of their books neither have I tell her that they are possibly man-made.What I have done so far is discrediting the christian theology of God and beliefs in favour of islam... |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Nobody: 9:33am On Dec 19, 2017 |
IsaacBuchi:I agree with most of what you stated,thanks for your input. |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by AgentOfAllah: 4:50pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
tundexweb: Your sister is 15 years old. She's already a young adult. You shouldn't insult her intelligence by giving her partial truths. Tell her your full truth and trust that she is, like you, capable of discernment. The only reason not to expose the flaws of all religions to her is if you sense that it will jeopardise yours or her relationship with your parents, especially if they are still financially responsible for you both. Otherwise, hiding the truth from her isn't protecting her, it is damaging her!! Bear in mind that you are probably not the only person with whom your sister interacts in her daily existence, so just as you have influence on her, so do many other people. Ultimately, you cannot stop her from becoming/doing whatever she is going to become/do. As her brother, the best guidance you can give to your sister is helping her to realise that with or without religion, there will always be consequences for every action. So she should ask herself what the consequence of anything she wants to do is before she does it. Other than that, you are mostly powerless over how she turns out, and you will be far more relaxed if you didn't try to project your own moral compass on her just because she is your sister. Live and let live!! 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Tozara(m): 5:18pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
This is funny. You want to mold your sister into what YOU WANT, while you have been doing what SUITS YOU---you actually didn't care about your dad's wishes or feelings when you chose to convert to Christianity, and it was by your own discretion that you also went back to Islam, and now through your OWN WILL, you've become irreligious---all these while that you've been dancing around, you keep inviting your sister to the dance floor, making her follow your dance steps. You wanted to be yourself, wanted to be left alone, but didn't want the poor girl to experience the same privilege. It would please you to have the power to steal away her mind and operate her like an android. This is so wrong! You have no right to mold your sister into what you wish----so that you can look at her like a mirror and see yourself in her. You have no right to make her into a "mini-me". Let her live her life, learn things about reality, and have her own experiences that would shape her future self. The only time you have any right to interfere with the direction of her growth and the choices she make is when she's doing things that can cause harm to others or destroy the peace of society. She's not your property, neither is she a means to your own end. Let her be. She doesn't have to be like you. And don't try to make her. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Daeylar(f): 5:44pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
Tozara: Thank you jare, it's so annoying reading this. How do I stop my sister from being immoral? What the hell does that mean? What does he mean by immoral? People to love to try and control every aspect of someone's life under the disguise of I just want to help you. I care about you. Mtchewwwww Carrying his sister from one religion to another and now attempting to control what she does. Creating fake problems, "I think she may be immoral in the future", just to seek for ways to tighten his hold on her, while hiding under the cover of "caring" brother. Mtcheww Your sister is not an idiot. Not a fool, not a robot that needs to be programmed on how to live her life, Let her live ffs, Sheesh, try and tell her what you know is good or bad or right or wrong and why you think it is, (logical arguments and reasons, not, "because I'm your elder brother and i said so" ) let her know the consequences of everything, and let it end there, and after doing that, leave her alone to live. Bear in mind that she may not see what you see as wrong to be wrong and so do it anyway, that's OK. She is not you. And she will make mistakes, it's part of being a human being, it's OK too. 1 Like |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 5:53pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
LoJ:I couldn't agree more. |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 6:00pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
I couldn't agree more. AgentOfAllah: |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Tozara(m): 6:01pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
Daeylar:FINITO. Nothing to add. Some people can be very annoying motherfucking CONTROL-FREAKS! Treating a 15-year old girl like an automaton. Haba. That's so absurd. How has your day been? |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Daeylar(f): 7:14pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
Tozara: Been good dear, and yours? |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by hopefulLandlord: 7:15pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
Tozara: QED |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Tozara(m): 7:30pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
Daeylar:It was fine too. |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Nobody: 8:12pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
AgentOfAllah: This is well appreaciated,I will take it in to consideration,thank you very much for your input. |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Nobody: 8:20pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
Tozara:I am very grateful for this,thanks bro. |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Tozara(m): 8:27pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
tundexweb:You're highly welcome, bro. 1 Like |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Nobody: 8:46pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
Daeylar:Firstly,I appreciate your input and I will definitely put it to consideration. Let me chip in this here,the morality I am thinking that it will be good for her not to sway away from especially considering what will be of her eternal destination(if there will be judgement in the afterlife as the bible painted) is that of the biblical standard and that of the said sayings of Jesus. English is not my first language,this might make my expression andfeelings unambigous,I pray you do not misconstrue my use of words... |
Re: Advise Needed:my Younger Sister Is Prone To Immorality. by Daeylar(f): 9:37pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
tundexweb: All right. Let me chip in this here,the morality I am thinking that it will be good for her not to sway away from especially considering what will be of her eternal destination(if there will be judgement in the afterlife as the bible painted) is that of the biblical standard and that of the said sayings of Jesus. All right, I didn't understand that's why I asked, thanks for explaining, Well, you said you are not a Christain, why can't you let her choose if she wants to be a Christain or not? If she wants to follow the biblical standard or the sayings of Jesus? I think you just let her choose and not make choices for her on what she should sway away from or not, she be moral without Christianity, She should choose if she wants to follow biblical standards or not, it's her choice really. |
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