₦airaland Forum

justwise:
This sham marriage is going to end the same way other 4 ended because real love is not on the table here, just American passport.

Will you marry a Nigerian woman with 4kinds that has married 3 times before if foreign passport is not on the table ? This woman is 20yrs older than you with 4 kids and 3 baby daddies. You promised to stay with her if she gives you kids? Who are you kidding bro? You want to marry her for paper simply!

If people turn this thread to sham marriage counselling thread then I will move it to romance or family section.

Pidgin2:
Please move this thread, in fact it's better to lock it finally, you can see how the thread has been turned to make all Nigerians look so desperate, it's not a good representation of what this travel section is for, remember this is the internet and can be accessed from all parts of the world, it's giving us a negative image.

samhay:
Oponu, if dis dude decide to leave d country now, he is giving a negative image àbí?

D mod u r asking to lock the thread, do u know which country he dey?

Pidgin2:
Mr man, your curses will remain with your family members, u must be deluded to think it can affect my progress, ode.

Oga Justwise, you need to lock this thread as soon as possible, so many vultures are looking for innocent victims to devour abroad, it's not the best

Nigeriadondie:
I am a big foool

Goldenboy007:
You guys are right about your observations. I experienced same thing too. When you begin to earn well or rise in the corporate ladder in the US, you begin to find yourself isolated amongst the whites. There are times I go to gourmet restaurant filled with whites and I am sure they think I work in the restaurant. Some are even outrightly unfriendly. That's the price we have to pay for living in a foreign land. I quite agree there are systemic racism but Nigerians have not let that stop them. Verizon is filled with young Nigerian managers. Unlike Nigeria where your hard work may go down the drain, hard in US brings results.

fikayor2:
I was following Frank thread then someone mentioned a guy to create a thread just like Mouth Gig, Frank and macky. I searched bj and that was how I started following this thread.

I just finished reading from page one to the last page. I've been gteatly inspired! Plese I have one question.
I'm a graphic designer,working daily improving my skills, and also a freelancer. Would I be able to get job in printing or design firm considering I'm a self taught designer without a graphic design cert. Please take it easy with me if my question sounds somehow. The thread is derailed already, please see this post from someone in need of help. Thanks.

Dremca:
You can get a diploma certificate from edx.org

samhay:
@Justwise I still need your answer to this question, no need hiding my post

How do you determine if a marriage is fraud or not especially when it involves a Nigerian and a USC.

rubbiescookies:
pls if you don;t mind answering this my curiosity questions....are their financial obligations made by the men to the parents of the girl.I knw size of wedding depends on couples.same in nigeria.but not same with tradtional obligations as it varies depending on where the girl is from that are compulsory....those that married there can as well chip in their opinions...cc justwise,lionlee216

Bede2u:
So I met this woman on a social forum. Early 40s, 4 kids lives in southern America. She is African American.
We have become good friends. I live in Gulf region and she is talking of coming to visit me next year. I am late 20s. We are also talking possibility of marriage when she comes. I work in construction in the Gulf while she works as home care nurse in Southern America.

Problem is she has been married 3 times. All to foreigners.

First husband...from caribbean country...had two kids but divorced b4 green card can be given. (He remarried and living in same state with her. Now a citizen)

2nd husband.....a Nigerian who paid her for papers. No strings attached. No love.

3rd husband....another African who she married for love. They married for 4 years. The guy got his papers and left without saying good bye. No kids

Other 2 kids are from a boyfriend...never married.

Now the lady feels that Men Always Leave. I have promised I wont leave if she gives me kids. (I intend to keep that promise) I know she dont believe me though.

Questions
1. If we marry and i come over on spouse visa, can i work on the visa
2. Can i study also on the visa
3. How long can i stay on the visa without applying for green card (incase she gets cunny and refuse to file for me based on her past experience with the African guy)
4. Seeing that she has married 3 times, will it complicate and delay the greencard process if she eventually agrees to file for me

I ask these cos i know she is now paranoid and thinks i would leave after i get papers. I dont mind staying with her after my papers...but i wanna be sure I can live, work and study in America on spouse visa for a long time until she feels confident and trustful enough to file for green card for me. Dont wanna come to America on visa type that wont allow me to work and study

Stay away from baby mamas especially with multiple baby daddies, those guys will always be in her life. Mind you, if you're single, decent guy and hard working, they will do everything in their power to hold you down. Some will go as far as getting loan for you, enticing you with money, giving you rides up and down to where you wanna go (if you don't have a car yet) until they hook you.

Stay away from ill tempered ladies. Small argument, they start threatening to stab you

Stay away from the "get out of my house ladies". Doesn't matter if you rent the house together. Simple misunderstanding, the first thing they say is get out. Yankee can be really really tough without accommodation

Stay away from "I will call the police on you" ladies. Doesn't matter what you guys are arguing about. they treating you with police every time. you as an immigrant want the police off your back for whatever reason. it doesn't always end well.

Stay away from ladies that can't keep a job. those type just want a guy they can leech off. you will work and work till the rest of your life. they are the real definition of "baboon dey work, monkey dey chop". mind you, if this is your wife and it is your arrangement for her not to work, well, that is your decision.

Stay away from Women that will marry you just to keep you hostage. These category only want a man in their house so they can boast to friends they got a man. When it comes to filing your papers, their answer is ALWAYS NO, then they result to claiming you just want to use them for papers.

Stay away from lairs, the ones that will injure herself and tell people you did it (especially white women). As a black man, you are always guilty before proven innocent. It is best you stay away from trouble as much as you can.

Stay away from over jealous Women. This type of women are controlling. If you by mistake say hello to another girl, a simple "hello", they accuse you of wanting to sleep with her. this particular category will blackmail you with tears. a lot of them are really abusive.

Generally, you need to find what works for you. doesn't matter the race. Find a partner you know through thick and thin, come rain or shine, He/She has your back. And you also need to play your part. Be a good ambassador, no need to lie to anyone for green card. Be truthful from the onset. Telling a lie means you will need to tell more to cover your track. You also need to stay in your boundaries, you are seeing one girl, sleeping with several others. that will get you in trouble. Be smart, be wise, be humble, be diligent, be respectful. You need to understand your partner will be from a different upbringing and most likely will have a different perspective. so, you both will understand things differently and do things differently.

Oh about the baby mama, Sometimes, a lot of them are victims of bad relationship. you need to also use your discretion. Some of them are really awesome ladies.

And last but not the least, stay the fakk away from impregnating anyone if you know you are not gonna be committed. Better still, say the fakk away from impregnating anyone at all.

Bede2u:
I have read the moral advice the Twood guy gives

I am not against him....i know CIA monitors this nairaland. It would be good for them to see that nigeria has principled people.

However the guy is missing some important concepts.
First of all, what is morally wrong can be legal. Its legal for people to marry for whatever reason they want...from reasons like social mobility, family ties, class and religious considerations to issues such as obtaining a greencard or becoming ur dying spouse's heir. I have never met somebody who willingly married someone who wont better his/her life in some way.
Whites marry for green card too. While u.s immigration officers turn a blind eye to that (cos they want America to remain white) they make issues of Africans and Asians who do same. Many Europeans who come to America through marriage, only to divorce later claim their divorce is because of 'irreconcilable differences'. Doing anything LEGAL to exploit the system is allowed and last time I checked, marriage is legal. Check the difference btw tax evasion and tax avoidance. Slavery wasnt moral but it was legal and through it, these whites we are now seeing as custodians of morality sent so many blacks to early, agonizing graves. The atomic bomb at Hiroshima wasnt moral but that didnt matter cos the powers that be (the whites) judged it legal. Innocent people suffered and are still suffering the after effect.

Another important issue he is missing is the fact that visas where introduced by the west to keep Africans and to lesser extent, Asians out of their countries. The rest of the world just copied this without seeing it makes no difference to whites. They find it easy to travel to most countries of the world yet they deny non whites same opportunity. These were the people who exploited (and still exploiting) our natural resources without recourse to morality or legality.
Let me tell u all something...whites dont gv a damn whether u stick to their immigration rules or not...if Africa quota for a given year reach, they stop issueing visas. Funny, Africa never get to reach there quota since most visa applications are denied (including genuine applications). Australia, canada and u.s was made for whites. They only tolerate other races in order to be politically correct. Truth is, the same situation which guarantees u a visa denial in Lagos is over looked for a poor white migrant coming into u.s from czech republic or any other European country. U can be blinded by your self righteousness and not see what the whiteman thinks of the blackman and the Asian man. However ur self righteousness wont change their views. U can only try and beat them at their own game...by exploiting the very idiotic rules they create to keep u out of a country which isnt theirs in the first place. Blacks were the slaves who literally built America...so a whiteman has no moral standing to keep u out with rules which he would gladly bend to accomodate another whiteman

lionlee216:
I really dont know how to explain this.. You might get married and decided not to file for you. She might just keep you indoors and servicing her without you working.

Also she might not be working and you work while she controls your money. Imagine a situation of paying bills and catering for 4kids.

Some of those Akatas are very mean but always pretend to be nice. You really dont want a burden on yourself. Worst she give birth and you are stuck for the rest of your life..

Use b1 visa for vacation, spend time in US, MEET people and there you might be fortunate, build a relationship, come back home and everything go dey alright.

My advice might not be pleasing to your hearing but I want the best for you as a fellow nigerian.

Pls reconsider.

BlowJobs:


Oyinbo people, financial obligations made by the men to the parents of the girl

maybe rich oyinbo people will do it, you know, one person sponsor the wedding and everyone comes to eat for free.

No financial obligation bro. I just told her pale say i wan "kidnap" him daughter for life (i told him as a courtesy and as a responsible adult and also cos our naija culture no go allow us marry another man pikin without actually knowing the dad. I really don't have to if i want to go by American ways. We go just marry and tell everyone we are)

My marriage cost less than 500$ (i don't remember but check this thread i think i posted it). The most expensive part is Mrs K's dress.

life is simple bro, let's not complicate it wit all those crazy request by the bride's family (Naija is hard enough. i belive marriage preparations in naija makes things harder on the couples to be).

Next year, we are having a big celebration for everyone. And anyone/everyone that RSVP will be charged for their food (the American way ). So, if you RSVP and you no show up, we go still charge you. shikena


oh, her dad sent us a $70 check (cheque) after the wedding and a really fancy card. Oh i don remember sef, Mrs K suppose give me $35. make i go wake am

Dremca:
So e no be like naija wey the couple go cook fried rice, jellof rice, rice and sauce, egusi soup, bitterleaf soup, ewedu soup, afang soup, edikaikong soup, salad, chicken plus assorted drinks and after the guests chop all these things finish, him go come put N100 for envelope go give the couple still come collect souvenir on top. For naija, if your no be talk of the town, e means say you broke.

BlowJobs:
This is a GOOD POINT!!!.... All those oyinbo people dey abuse this immigration well well.
How do you think Trump married Melania?

No be d same adjustment of status wey i dey do now?

BlowJobs:
. Who get that kain time for yankee . Everything na outsourcing.
you go outsource your event to an event planner. common spoon, you no go bring to the event. most times people that RSVPed will be charged for their food. So, they will be asked before hand what they would like to eat based on the menu. The event place will plan the food for the number of guests coming. So, if you RSVP and you no show, be sure to get charge

Same thing with Birthday celebration. IF someone here invite you to birthday, no be to come chop and go ooo. hold your money. cos you are paying for yourself.

But for some parties, they will specify what is free. Most BYOB party (bring your own booze), snacks are free. Most african parties, food is free. Most Barbeues/cook out, food is free but they might tell you to bring some part of what you have

giving souvenirs na personal thing. Some people give, majority don't. No time for all that "nonsense" (apologies for the word nonsense but why i go feed the whole community and some people go still complain say dem no chop for my wedding on top that, be in debt. Maka gini? on top wetin?)

BlowJobs:
*Adjustment of Status update*

Our forms are filled out. All supporting documents and evidences added. We have both our names on almost all bills. Mrs K has my last name now. She did name change on most important documents (social security, bank infos, work info etc)

We have joint health insurance now (i am basically on her insurance)

and Joint car insurance

All these things are added to the documents

We will send them out in January (i am trying to make sure it is exactly two months after marriage. No need rushing it)

All forms look like the picture below (not my image, someone sent it to me as a guide)

BlowJobs:
No comment

We are definitely gonna make edibles by spring/summer