After I arrived home from my Oshodi to Akure Journey at 11pm that night of the 24th of Christmas, I settled down to devour pounded yam, ignoring my recurring nature of having to deal with stomach upset whenever I eat late. The Efo riro was too appetizing to ignore and I gobbled down the meal on a bottle of Pepsi.

Against all warning and admonition from my Mum that I relax before heading to bed, I ignored her and headed to bed all the same.

I found myself waking up to a crazy dream of me being pregnant and delivering a baby in the hospital.

What the heck!? I asked myself.

Still wondering why I could have that unrealistic dream, I felt a painful nudge in my tummy, stomach rumbled, tummy was hard and bit me from all sides. I drank and drank water to no avail!

Or I was truly pregnant? In the middle of the pain, I laughed it off. Definitely this was indigestion.

I decided to head over the to hospital down my area for treatment because I really began to feel uncomfortable and I needed to get the undigested pounded yam and efo out of my tummy as soon as I could.

No sooner had I entered into the hospital than I stumbled into Fola, and a one year old baby she was carrying.

Fola was a young undergraduate I met March 2015 in Idanre and we had a fling for some months before distance separated us.

Apparently the baby was a little bit under the weather! Fola told me she had been sick for sometimes and decided to rush her to the hospital because her sickness had to do with blood.

I did not get that part well, because I was in a state of discomfort and listening to Fola’s rants were the last thing on my mind.

She then said she had wanted to reach out to me for a long time because there was something important to talk to me about. It was about her and the sex we had almost two years ago!

Gbam! My eyes pooked, my tummy rumbled, my heart palpitated! I just hope it was not what I was thinking. I stared at her, stared at the baby yet again and I was shocked to notice that….the baby just looked exactly like ME.

I shifted uncontrollably and in the blink of an eye, thoughts started filtering through my mind. ‘Is the baby mine’? What does Fola want to say? What is happening? What happened that night coursed through me mind.

Eh Lord, we freaking had unprotected s*x, but I was not sure whether I poured my juice into her pot! I was not sure at all….Jeez! What if the baby was mine? Was that why they were here?

I thought of how I would tell my mum how I went to the hospital and met Fola and her baby, and how the baby looked just like me and how the baby was mine!

Fola broke into my thoughts…..as she continued:

‘You see Detola, after that night of the sex and we lost touch I felt so unusual and not myself after you left. It was later I realized that…I….was….’

I did not even listen to her anymore, and it was not until a husky male voice jolted me out of my misery and said:

‘Darling, the doctor is prepped and all set for Tola, he has taken my blood and we are ready for the transfusion. Let’s take her in!’

..that I came back to my senses and beat myself on why I even thought the baby was mine! Immediately I felt the deep rumble of a slimmy wet poo down my boxers before I realized that what made me come to the hospital now rushed out in heavy torrents.

I could not even say Hi to Tope’s boyfriend, husband or whoever he was before I made a dash to the hospital convenience to count my luck and download the poo at same time.

Christmas started and ended on a crazy and weird note for me. How was did your Christmas go? ANYTHING WEIRD HAPPEN TO YOU THIS CHRISTMAS?

http://deedeesblog.com/weird-christmas-story/

For me,christmas was boring. Couldn't go to the villa for fuel and increase in transport fare. Had to chill and slept all day

Qh op.. U don born another jesus b dat o. U hv a new baby on xmas chai..
My xmas i was drunk wit local made ogogoro original one with 1960 rootz.. I no get myself till 27th i was stooling till i drank tetracycline

ChopBellefull:
Qh op.. U don born another jesus b dat o. U hv a new baby on xmas chai..
My xmas i was drunk wit local made ogogoro original one with 1960 rootz.. I no get myself till 27th i was stooling till i drank tetracycline

Hahahahaha....LOL!

chupachups:

For me,christmas was boring. Couldn't go to the villa for fuel and increase in transport fare. Had to chill and slept all day

Eeehyah...Sorry Bro. The new year will be better!

I'm sure by new year, I'd buy a litre of petrol at 50 naira

hmmn

my gas finished mid cooking of jellof rice. (just finished adding the ingredients).

before I go buy gas come back and start again.

the rice turned to pap

thank God I visit my friend


his newly married wife loves cooking...na so I go there . Took white rice/stew......egusi/Beef/eba.....goat meat pepper soup. ...salad/fried chicken. ....flush it with some green bottles. before going back to meet my pap jellof rice unattended to

While you were celebrating Jesus. I was celebrating my mum cos that was her birthday..

OWN

ok

This story sounds like Fiction to me

Maybe next time i'll give a fvck.



I've used my last fvck to spread wide the legs of the girl i'm hitting right now.

Huh....movie??

Coming soon

OK na

incase you miss out please my Christmas food fourth round is ready, no slakking pick yours before it's too late

Christmas was like a regular day down here.

Funny story.

Oh for me, Christmas was awesome . I went back to my hood and have some fun with old friends. U won't understand if u ain't there.

K

i went to d cinema and did a little shopping

Christmas blessing

Congrat ooohh.... Atleast now u'll know that ur sperm is powerful instead of pouring it up and down. No weird sh!t here... Boring xmas, just food. Got to see my family shaa... So that's alot.

Hilarious! I had a very boring and painful Christmas celebration. Of all the days to get a neck dislocation, it had to be on that day I was supposed to be having fun and enjoying myself. Anyone who's had a neck dislocation would know how painful it was.That is how I ended up staying indoors, bedridden, and nursing my neck pain

it was bored due to fuel scarcity!!!

...
For he very first tym in my life... There was no sex on the 25th Dec.

It was almost becoming a yearly ritual

my xmas cool buh painful cos my gf fail to cum my my syd. cn u know my pain? aaaah op u cn lie for Africa Shaaa.

All This Guys Practicing Creative Writing

So no one spent their Christmas in a police cell