₦airaland Forum

CrescentMoon:
I was trying to let you see from reasonable grounds that this man is not meant for you until you started talking about your prayer life together. Then I delved into spiritual side to let you know that you're not capable explaining things from this angle because you're a non-starter in that angle.

The girl planned to disrupt your plans and she probably succeeded. The next thing is to use your brain or the spiritual eye. The way you write means you're very disturbed by the incident and wish there could be instant solution. There will be no instant solution, my friend. Be patient.

Talking about life teaching me lessons, my father, a pilot, disappeared. My mother was down with cancer, after the death of my mother, I was hospitalized four times in four consecutive months. I never attended lectures for more than 5 times in my 5 stay in the University and I graduated. If I were you, and God has already assured me that the man is meant, I just have to pray for just one minute for God to intervene. And if God intervenes, it may be the girl having stillbirth or wotever. I'm not blaming you for your weakness.

CrescentMoon:
Ahahaha, see na. She wants me to be soft on her ni. I'm actually on her side. But she's trying hard to defend the man because of their many plans already on ground.

Rubysims:
Anyone can say anything he is not perfect but this man loves me. All these sad people saying 10 years this or that..this man will never leave me for anyone and I can confidently say that.

I was in school and I dont believe in children out of wedlock. Unlike some people writing rubbish I was raised well and won't dissapoint my parents.I was pursuing a career I'm not the woman that lives of a man. I want to help my partner too.. I admit I played a part in making him upset or nagging him.

Im sorry to dissapoint all these people name calling me, I will not birth children without a commitment. His sister's and people agree with me on this and commend me for wanting to do the right thing. His sister has begged her to remove it its just taking a pill as it has not formed yet. It takes 2 to Tango females should stop playing the victim. You take measures after a one night stand to prevent this it's not all the mans fault.

She is holding on to hopes she will have him. He told me that even if I dont stay he will never be with her. He has made it very clear to the lady but she wont get it through her head. Im sure now she is keeping it to get as much as she can. Women see expensive clothes, cars, watches. You dont know that another woman has made him that way. People like finished product sha.

Im sorry i'm not trying to cause division by saying yoruba . I have just heard stuff about women and men alike. I know everyone is not the same. I dont want to generalize. I just heard these girls use jazz a lot and trap men.they think pregnancy will make him stay and change his mind.

I can confidently say even if I dont end up with this man. Theres nothing he wont do for me even if he goes on to marry someone else. This is how tight our bond is. We are friends first and partners after.

It makes me sad seeing him sad and talking about how he has to deal with a baby he doesn't even want. He is also still in denial and says stuff like im working for my family which is you not for any woman or kid like that.

All these olodos insulting me on here. I told you my father is a millionaire I don't need any man. I'm good. I just wanted someone to help me reason as sometimes loves over powers common sense.

He is sure it will never happen again and he seems sincere about it. Most people just run from relationships with problems you will date someone new or marry it will be the same thing.

My heart is heavy and the trad is this year..im fighting within myself whether I should go ahead but I dont want to live without my bestfriend.

I dont even know if my family will accept this. He is scared to tell them about it....I know they will want me to walk.. Ive stayed with him even through the stigma of dating a nigerian..which is not really accepted back home.he doesn't even know how to tell his parents. I pray it's not his..he wants to wait until paternity is done before anything..but I think shes a smart girl she got pregnant and played her cards right

..i love nigerians guys im not trying to divide my best friend is an igbo lady and she wants me to walk and says I deserve and can do better.Maybe its her putting the anti yoruba thing in me

CaptainG00D:
U should have asked questions.. before dating.
Yoruba men are womanizers..
And and likes depositing sp*rm inside women.

Google about "yoruba demon"
They are not the best when u are looking for a serious relationship.

U made a very big mistake.. sorry abt that.

makydebbie:
Before I give op my two cents, I'll have to reply you.

What sort of very stupid comment is this? Aren't you the ones that go around insulting baby mamas? Didn't you read in her writeup that it's against her beliefs? Jeez!
Some comments you read daily you'll be wondering where they dropped their brains before logging in.

Rubysims:
I will no longer reply to your negativity. This lady slept with him even though she knew about me. He was drunk she doesn't drink and was fully aware of what she was doing. Im not pushing blame. They were both in the wrong. When life teaches you your own lesson, always remember and never forget how you judged my situation. God bless

xedyl:
Sorry my comment got you angry....10yrs is just too much...she is at fault on this one...cuz if they had been married with kids...it wud have been a different story and it wud nt have affected her this much.

Rubysims:
Hi Everyone,

As I write this I dont even know where to start. I am Zimbabwean and I have dated a Yoruba man for 10 years now. We have our fair share of problems but he has remained consistant over the years. I met him when I was 19. He courted me for a full year before I accepted him. I went to school for my bachelors and Masters different continents he always made an effort to follow me wherever I went, or be there whenever I needed anything he would make sure he provided where he could and its done.

I eventually moved to the USA and he eventually relocated to be with me. I have a good job and I come for a very well off family. Im not perfect but I constantly strive to grow in my relationship with Christ. I cook most of the nigerian dishes. Take care of him when he needs me and I support him when necessary too. One time this man came to live with me for a very long time. He didnt support me with rent, bills or food. I did it anyway out of love. You guys, I also stayed for years when he didnt meet any of my needs and all he would say is 'God will provide.' All I ever wanted was an equal partner..of course I submit and Im respectful but I would really also want a man who takes care of his home and family as if you dont it causes resentment.

Anyway fast forward ..4 months ago we had a big fight and it was over me encouraging him to get a job and not rely on hustling, buying and selling etc. The fights started about how I have changed, im this and that. I quickly became the enemy. I also warned him about alcohol consumption as a lot of his money atleast $500 a month is spent on booze and when he drinks he becomes very aggressive and angry. He also asked me for a lump sum of money. He wanted me to withdraw it from my savings and give it to him but I could not do so at the time. Finances make relationships akward also. Lastly he was pestering me about having a baby for him. I said I will not, I was raised well and will never have a child out of wedlock. Anyway he then moved out and went back to his old state and got a place.

Whilst there a friend he knew from school contacted him on ig. They started talking again and the girl made trips to his house. He said about 4. He hardly knows the girl and said they just attended the same school in naija.

Fast forward to my birthday he comes to visit and he started crying. I have never seen this man cry EVER.
I asked him what was wrong and he mentioned his mom and a lot was going on in his life..I Knew she wasn't too well before.I started crying too and comforted him..he left and started acting funny the next day.

After a lot of back and forth days later he broke down again and told me he got a girl pregnant and he was crying saying i wish it wasnt happening and it was you. He sent a message to the girl telling her to get rid of it and asked her why she would want to get married for a man she doesnt know after one night stand. "Girls that trap men sha..

It was a mistake he was drunk and just wanted to bust a nut. They used protection by the way and she was acting like she does not know how it happened. I asked him if he disposed of the condom, no she did. I asked him if he was a learner? Women trap men all the time with sperm.

He went over to her place I was on the other end of the phone listening in. She said she wouldn't do it and was acting possesesd. She said a whole speech about how she can do it alone and his name wont be on birth certificate etc and how she doesn't want a man who does not want her child. She also said 'if your parents did that to you would you be here driving this very expensive car' clap hands for the gold digger everyone. Just as I had suspected.other women see a good thing and want a finished product, they dont know its someone elses work. He told her, he can never ever be with her even if she kept it. He left her house.

30 minutes later his door bell rings and we were still on the phone. She says a whole speech and says she will remove it. When she left we celebrated and we were so happy. God forgive us. I said to myself now I only have to work on trusting him again. Next day she calls and says she changes her mind.. goodness..my boyfriend doesnt want her or her child and she's forcing it on him. Is it by force yoruba gehs sha lol..

I also really need prayers guys I think she does jazz. She told my bf that her pastor in nigeria told her he has someone in his life. What kin pastor b dat.bf is scared to display my pics and I cant see her face because he thinks she might want to harm me. A pastor of God we talked to wanted to talk to her but she says she fears what the girl might do to her.

Omg please pray for me. My boyfriend and i really didnt want a broken home.whats the point of keeping a baby the man doesn't want. I asked him to ask her how much she wants and we will give her the money. She blocked him and got her brother to call him.

He was so desperate he was willing to do anything for her to get rid of it but she wont budge, she has even blocked him.I am praying its not his, she's not pregnant or she just lets us be abeg. Please give me guidance and support. Should i leave this man, will I be able to live with a bastard child and constant reminder of his infidelity? I forgave him eventually after his people begged me and due to our history.

He wants to go see my people so we do the trad, engagement etc so we start on our family..he waited all these years for me to go to school and do what I needed to do and now this. I have to see that mumu woman who ruined my life forever. But believe me you although her child will be catered for she will not get a dime from me or my personal family's inheritance and the wealth acquired from me and my husband. The child will get something but not to the extant she thinks. I will do my homework and file paperwork to protect myself.

Is it common for Yoruba women to trap men. You dont even know this man and one night stand you wont let him be..nawawo.

Do I seem desperate for staying? It has been 10 years and this was not only my man but my friend. I have everything going for me, men approach me always but I turn them down. I have zero baggage.

Please help

Rubysims:
Hi Everyone,

As I write this I dont even know where to start. I am Zimbabwean and I have dated a Yoruba man for 10 years now. We have our fair share of problems but he has remained consistant over the years. I met him when I was 19. He courted me for a full year before I accepted him. I went to school for my bachelors and Masters different continents he always made an effort to follow me wherever I went, or be there whenever I needed anything he would make sure he provided where he could and its done.

I eventually moved to the USA and he eventually relocated to be with me. I have a good job and I come for a very well off family. Im not perfect but I constantly strive to grow in my relationship with Christ. I cook most of the nigerian dishes. Take care of him when he needs me and I support him when necessary too. One time this man came to live with me for a very long time. He didnt support me with rent, bills or food. I did it anyway out of love. You guys, I also stayed for years when he didnt meet any of my needs and all he would say is 'God will provide.' All I ever wanted was an equal partner..of course I submit and Im respectful but I would really also want a man who takes care of his home and family as if you dont it causes resentment.

Anyway fast forward ..4 months ago we had a big fight and it was over me encouraging him to get a job and not rely on hustling, buying and selling etc. The fights started about how I have changed, im this and that. I quickly became the enemy. I also warned him about alcohol consumption as a lot of his money atleast $500 a month is spent on booze and when he drinks he becomes very aggressive and angry. He also asked me for a lump sum of money. He wanted me to withdraw it from my savings and give it to him but I could not do so at the time. Finances make relationships akward also. Lastly he was pestering me about having a baby for him. I said I will not, I was raised well and will never have a child out of wedlock. Anyway he then moved out and went back to his old state and got a place.

Whilst there a friend he knew from school contacted him on ig. They started talking again and the girl made trips to his house. He said about 4. He hardly knows the girl and said they just attended the same school in naija.

Fast forward to my birthday he comes to visit and he started crying. I have never seen this man cry EVER.
I asked him what was wrong and he mentioned his mom and a lot was going on in his life..I Knew she wasn't too well before.I started crying too and comforted him..he left and started acting funny the next day.

After a lot of back and forth days later he broke down again and told me he got a girl pregnant and he was crying saying i wish it wasnt happening and it was you. He sent a message to the girl telling her to get rid of it and asked her why she would want to get married for a man she doesnt know after one night stand. "Girls that trap men sha..

It was a mistake he was drunk and just wanted to bust a nut. They used protection by the way and she was acting like she does not know how it happened. I asked him if he disposed of the condom, no she did. I asked him if he was a learner? Women trap men all the time with sperm.

He went over to her place I was on the other end of the phone listening in. She said she wouldn't do it and was acting possesesd. She said a whole speech about how she can do it alone and his name wont be on birth certificate etc and how she doesn't want a man who does not want her child. She also said 'if your parents did that to you would you be here driving this very expensive car' clap hands for the gold digger everyone. Just as I had suspected.other women see a good thing and want a finished product, they dont know its someone elses work. He told her, he can never ever be with her even if she kept it. He left her house.

30 minutes later his door bell rings and we were still on the phone. She says a whole speech and says she will remove it. When she left we celebrated and we were so happy. God forgive us. I said to myself now I only have to work on trusting him again. Next day she calls and says she changes her mind.. goodness..my boyfriend doesnt want her or her child and she's forcing it on him. Is it by force yoruba gehs sha lol..

I also really need prayers guys I think she does jazz. She told my bf that her pastor in nigeria told her he has someone in his life. What kin pastor b dat.bf is scared to display my pics and I cant see her face because he thinks she might want to harm me. A pastor of God we talked to wanted to talk to her but she says she fears what the girl might do to her.

Omg please pray for me. My boyfriend and i really didnt want a broken home.whats the point of keeping a baby the man doesn't want. I asked him to ask her how much she wants and we will give her the money. She blocked him and got her brother to call him.

He was so desperate he was willing to do anything for her to get rid of it but she wont budge, she has even blocked him.I am praying its not his, she's not pregnant or she just lets us be abeg. Please give me guidance and support. Should i leave this man, will I be able to live with a bastard child and constant reminder of his infidelity? I forgave him eventually after his people begged me and due to our history.

He wants to go see my people so we do the trad, engagement etc so we start on our family..he waited all these years for me to go to school and do what I needed to do and now this. I have to see that mumu woman who ruined my life forever. But believe me you although her child will be catered for she will not get a dime from me or my personal family's inheritance and the wealth acquired from me and my husband. The child will get something but not to the extant she thinks. I will do my homework and file paperwork to protect myself.

Is it common for Yoruba women to trap men. You dont even know this man and one night stand you wont let him be..nawawo.

Do I seem desperate for staying? It has been 10 years and this was not only my man but my friend. I have everything going for me, men approach me always but I turn them down. I have zero baggage.

Please help

Rubysims:
Thank you. Im sorry for misunderstanding. Thank you for your advice it means a lot

Homguy:
So you don't mind ending up with this persistent drunk who does not mind feeding off a woman for the rest of his life? What happens when you start having children and you can't work? You will call your parents for money right?The truth is bitter, that cresentmoon been saying it but you prefer the sweet, buttery words of the other guy encouraging you to go on with somebody who blames you for his irresponsible behaviour.

Worse, you have been blaming the girl for not protecting herself, absolving ing your boyfriend for not being responsible enough to wear a condom, at least to protect himself and u from Stds. It's sad that when you are on the field you often can see the Whole picture. Pickup yourself and move on. Desperation often leads to regrets

ConcernedNL:
I didnt need to read all you wrote. I am a yoruba man and so no one can say i am saying this out of hate.

Dump that man, keep him out of your life, even with prayers, avoid him like a plague because he wont change, at least maybe not by your hand except he becomes truly born again.

Plus you claim you are christian, why do you have an affar with someone who isnt born again, your relationship isnt christian if you both are compromising.

You know what, start afresh, get a guy who will take care of you and get married to you before doing the deed uno what i mean. If you want God to be involved in your relationships, the least you must do is to obey basic rules from the scriptures.

olalat:
you hv bn staying with this guy even when you supposed to hv ran away. You love your man and he loves you back. Stay with him as you had already made up your mind. See, that old home destroyer just wants someone she Huck up by force. So, pray and pray against her evil plans. God will see you through.

makydebbie:
Bae, if you can't cope, you know what to do.

From your write up, he's irresponsible. Spending money on alcohol when hustling? Putting blames on you?
I know it's painful that you've lost a decade of your life. Marriage is a long term thing oo, can you cope?

Trust has been breached already. This trend has started and because you can forgive whatever gabbage he brings to the table, he'll bring more. And then, it would be too late because you're married. Don't let your sacrifices, wasted time and emotion cloud your reasoning. It's hard tho, easier said than done.

When you get married, the lady and her child becomes a part of your life whether you like it or not.

chisco82:
You just said it all.

makydebbie:
Thanks. Goodmoney.

Okay

makydebbie:
Thanks.
Goodmoney.

chisco82:
Goodmorning dear, hope ur night was good?

RoyalBlak007:
Okay

[color=#F5A215] GòődMõņəy ßæßy [/color]

makydebbie:
Mine was okay, yours?

[color=#F5A215]Yeah mine was okay as well

makydebbie:
Mine was okay, you?

Rubysims:
Hi Everyone,

As I write this I dont even know where to start. I am Zimbabwean and I have dated a Yoruba man for 10 years now. We have our fair share of problems but he has remained consistant over the years. I met him when I was 19. He courted me for a full year before I accepted him. I went to school for my bachelors and Masters different continents he always made an effort to follow me wherever I went, or be there whenever I needed anything he would make sure he provided where he could and its done.

I eventually moved to the USA and he eventually relocated to be with me. I have a good job and I come for a very well off family. Im not perfect but I constantly strive to grow in my relationship with Christ. I cook most of the nigerian dishes. Take care of him when he needs me and I support him when necessary too. One time this man came to live with me for a very long time. He didnt support me with rent, bills or food. I did it anyway out of love. You guys, I also stayed for years when he didnt meet any of my needs and all he would say is 'God will provide.' All I ever wanted was an equal partner..of course I submit and Im respectful but I would really also want a man who takes care of his home and family as if you dont it causes resentment.

Anyway fast forward ..4 months ago we had a big fight and it was over me encouraging him to get a job and not rely on hustling, buying and selling etc. The fights started about how I have changed, im this and that. I quickly became the enemy. I also warned him about alcohol consumption as a lot of his money atleast $500 a month is spent on booze and when he drinks he becomes very aggressive and angry. He also asked me for a lump sum of money. He wanted me to withdraw it from my savings and give it to him but I could not do so at the time. Finances make relationships akward also. Lastly he was pestering me about having a baby for him. I said I will not, I was raised well and will never have a child out of wedlock. Anyway he then moved out and went back to his old state and got a place.

Whilst there a friend he knew from school contacted him on ig. They started talking again and the girl made trips to his house. He said about 4. He hardly knows the girl and said they just attended the same school in naija.

Fast forward to my birthday he comes to visit and he started crying. I have never seen this man cry EVER.
I asked him what was wrong and he mentioned his mom and a lot was going on in his life..I Knew she wasn't too well before.I started crying too and comforted him..he left and started acting funny the next day.

After a lot of back and forth days later he broke down again and told me he got a girl pregnant and he was crying saying i wish it wasnt happening and it was you. He sent a message to the girl telling her to get rid of it and asked her why she would want to get married for a man she doesnt know after one night stand. "Girls that trap men sha..

It was a mistake he was drunk and just wanted to bust a nut. They used protection by the way and she was acting like she does not know how it happened. I asked him if he disposed of the condom, no she did. I asked him if he was a learner? Women trap men all the time with sperm.

He went over to her place I was on the other end of the phone listening in. She said she wouldn't do it and was acting possesesd. She said a whole speech about how she can do it alone and his name wont be on birth certificate etc and how she doesn't want a man who does not want her child. She also said 'if your parents did that to you would you be here driving this very expensive car' clap hands for the gold digger everyone. Just as I had suspected.other women see a good thing and want a finished product, they dont know its someone elses work. He told her, he can never ever be with her even if she kept it. He left her house.

30 minutes later his door bell rings and we were still on the phone. She says a whole speech and says she will remove it. When she left we celebrated and we were so happy. God forgive us. I said to myself now I only have to work on trusting him again. Next day she calls and says she changes her mind.. goodness..my boyfriend doesnt want her or her child and she's forcing it on him. Is it by force yoruba gehs sha lol..

I also really need prayers guys I think she does jazz. She told my bf that her pastor in nigeria told her he has someone in his life. What kin pastor b dat.bf is scared to display my pics and I cant see her face because he thinks she might want to harm me. A pastor of God we talked to wanted to talk to her but she says she fears what the girl might do to her.

Omg please pray for me. My boyfriend and i really didnt want a broken home.whats the point of keeping a baby the man doesn't want. I asked him to ask her how much she wants and we will give her the money. She blocked him and got her brother to call him.

He was so desperate he was willing to do anything for her to get rid of it but she wont budge, she has even blocked him.I am praying its not his, she's not pregnant or she just lets us be abeg. Please give me guidance and support. Should i leave this man, will I be able to live with a bastard child and constant reminder of his infidelity? I forgave him eventually after his people begged me and due to our history.

He wants to go see my people so we do the trad, engagement etc so we start on our family..he waited all these years for me to go to school and do what I needed to do and now this. I have to see that mumu woman who ruined my life forever. But believe me you although her child will be catered for she will not get a dime from me or my personal family's inheritance and the wealth acquired from me and my husband. The child will get something but not to the extant she thinks. I will do my homework and file paperwork to protect myself.

Is it common for Yoruba women to trap men. You dont even know this man and one night stand you wont let him be..nawawo.

Do I seem desperate for staying? It has been 10 years and this was not only my man but my friend. I have everything going for me, men approach me always but I turn them down. I have zero baggage.

Please help