enabledgoddess:


you sounded so sure that she can't change. you saw the attitude long ago yet you ignored it and thought pure love could reform her? no one can change any one except they make personal decision to change.
Any union that the parents are against are often times not fruitful. you are in this already so I won't be quick to say you should divorce her. on a second thought, why are you living separately? and you are trying to conceive[b]? since she is operating her own shop, what stops her from joining you in your base? the distance alone [/b]has put strain on your marriage . both of you should find a way to go appeal your parents and gradually work on your flaws. she can't be all at fault you have your own part too. As for the money part, she's probably reacting . if there is love, communication, closeness, agreement I don't think she will find it hard to give her hubby 20k when she is expecting 800k from you. she was able to erect a building without informing you because the distance has create a hole in your relationship. work on that first and gradually watch things fall in place.

obviously because of the house she is building.

Adebowale89:
you end the marriage the day you come up with the idea of renting a house for her in Lagos while you're at abuja.
with due respect sir, if you have good motive, you would have move with her to your resident in abuja


you expose a woman when you give her total freedom, do u know how many friends she would have made while in lagos? but there would have been a restrictions if she's staying with you overthere. I'm sure those friends corrupt her mind "evil communication they say, it corrupt good manners"


you're even angry because she's building a house, you never can tell if she has been cheating on you with another man. I just believe you guys ain't meant together, destiny just want to teach you a bitter experience of 6years of parental disobedience

he was in Lagos before he lost his job and got another one at Abuja. Did u read the part where he said he asked his wife to relocate and that he would restock the shop but she declined? I don't think so

Adamrealman78:
she told me categorically that she can't relocate to Abuja cos of her shop.I promised to get another one in Abuja and restock. She said that she has established herself in ogudu GRA,claiming that sales would never be the same.

I knew she was the one who refused to relocate! You are married to a bad woman. No mind those ones saying divorce is not an option. Stay there and see more misery.

Diamond23:
[color=#770077][/color] Y painting her black simply because ur family didn't approve of her nd majorly because she has not giving u a child .

she is a woman with a stone heart and no conscience.

Adamrealman78:
sorry for yourself, this happened last week Monday, on Tuesday I bleeped my new wife.she is on her way to Abuja to replace the other one.life goes on always have plan b,c,d-z

You already have a woman you're sleeping with. Does she know about that? Why are you complaining about her building a house and not telling you, when you are cheating on her. The Bible at 1 Corintians13:7 says love bears all things and endures all things.
Your action shows you are not faithful. Keep your family out of your marriage. Marriage is not all about children. Children come and go, two of you will remain. Have you carried out a check on yourself, before hastly accusing your wife of not giving you children. Most infertility issues lie with men.
Africa has stereotyped us into believing we must have children when married, while it is not supposed to be so. Even with the number of children in Africa, we are not inproving and developing. The earlier we improve our thinking abilities the better for us. Everything in life is not about marriage and children.
You are married but have plans b-z already. That shows you know what you are doing and need someone to put the blame on. I'm sure you will still come back to tell us your second woman has not bore your a child. When Africa starts respecting women, things will get better.

LadyHeaven:
Op you have decided to move on, but you sound desperate for justification from total strangers and don't mind painting your wife in an extremely bad light to achieve that, you have been married for 6 years but not once in all your tirade did you say any good attribute your wife possess, or is she only a "demon" in human form?

You speak of karma but forget it works both ways, thank God you didn't mention promiscuity on her part so most probably she was a V or very faithful, may God grant her all her good heart desires, prosper and keep her, and may He grant you peace and happiness in your new journey. Life is eazi no need damning anyone.

what good really. That instead of trying to find solution to her barenness she chose a house. Knowing how much he wants a child.

keepingmum:


I just realised theres no point carrying on .....you already have another wife.....their in lies your wife's action

Well said dear.

Adamrealman78:
She can't change. I saw this attitude long ago,but thought pure love and affection could reform her.if I continue in the relationship, she would ruin me into debt.

I hope you are also building your own house. Nothing bad if she built her house, you build yours and you had another one which both of you combined resources to build.

Adamrealman78:
sorry for yourself, this happened last week Monday, on Tuesday I bleeped my new wife.she is on her way to Abuja to replace the other one.life goes on always have plan b,c,d-z

Bro,plan a-z isn't enough. One should have another extra reserved team with plan AA, AB - ZZ using Ms Excel cell address format.

princessayesha:

Your wife building a house without your knowledge can not be the reason why you are this angry....if you want a child marry a second wife, you are an African for God's sake.

should he marry a new wife and still keep the selfish one thus still impeding his right to happiness by keeping a dead weight. I wonder why she couldn't spend the money she is using to build a house towards those treatments people were saying she should do.Judging by the op's comment alone, she is just plain selfish and non supportive. the type every man should watch out for.

YQRS:
And he seems like a man that could afford ivf
Why not give it a try

does the woman want IVf?

emmanuelewumi:


I hope you are also building your own house. Nothing bad if she built her house, you build yours and you had another one which both of you combined resources to build.

How will he be able to build his own when the wife has saddled her with all the responsibilities all in line with "you are the man". If the woman wasn t selfish she should be looking pooling resources with the man to enable them medically address their childlessness but she is more interested in codedly building a house and investing for herself while the husband is drained paying all the bills. Is that love and oneness ?

SnowJay92:


Don't let inferiority or ego cloud your judgement bro, obviously there have been other issues you didn't talk about here, what made her go build a house of her own, she must have been afraid her future isn't secure with you, have you considered that?

6 years and counting. Denied for 8 months till a "pastor" said it was wrong. Bro even "pastor" talk say e wrong. Haba

uzuz:
If indeed this nonsense is true, then I am sure your first wife will have a different side to this story.

Leaving her on Monday and getting another woman on Tuesday, sums everything up!

read the part where he said he knew 8 months before and she denied until the pastor asked her to tell. She asked for 800k, he gave. The marriage ended all those time she denied. Wait, the next shocker will be there is one sugar daddy behind the scene that is helping build the house.

jaxxy:


My brother u have seen the light. That's basically why ee say if ur parents who trained and watched over u object to a lady to marry. Listen attentively 1st cos dey may be seeing wat ure not! Ur judgement is not at its best wen judging a person u love.

Bt let me ask was she like dis b4? If No then It cud be the pressures of delay in childbirth and uncertainty and advice from her family. Shes trying to protect herself from bring homeless and on the street one day. Shes on self preservation Mode which is only normal looking at d fact ur family didnt like her.

U need to know if she still loves u and wants to stay in the marriage. Then give her the assurance not by money alone bt love. She maybe going tru alot.

you can't hide your plans from someone you love.

Adamrealman78:
,her test results show, blocked fallopian tubes, uterine fibroids and no ovulation.. What magic do you expect I do?

If that is the only case she has, believe me! It's simple to handle. It's just to take her to the right Dr and case close.

francesawesome:
Mr.man call her and have a heart to heart talk with her. Ending the marriage isn't the solution

kikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikiki @ bolded. Heart 2 heart ko. Heart to nose ni. Conscience, conscience. Heart 2 heart does not solve a conscience talk. How many heart to heart talk don stop militants or kidnappers. They learn from lessons.

lol


i love that woman's actions!

tunjilana:
How will he be able to build his own when the wife has saddled her with all the responsibilities all in line with "you are the man". If the woman wasn t selfish she should be looking pooling resources with the man to enable them medically address their childlessness but she is more interested in codedly building a house and investing for herself while the husband is drained paying all the bills. Is that love and oneness ?

That is the disadvantage of taking marriage as an acquisition and not as a merger.

You don't get married to a liability and expect your networth to increase, marry an asset and your networth will grow in leaps and bounds due to synergy.

Oyindidi:
You talk too much oga! Your wife is really trying to cope with you
At topic, she has owned up, what else do you want from her?

if the pastor didn't tell her she won't own up. I am sure she is at the church praying daily for a child instead of looking for medical solution to her problems.

safarigirl:
OP is a testament to the saying that age is not a reflection of maturity.

My guy just came here to open his yansh, he is not asking anyone for advise because he has done what he has in mind already, this is supposed to be a warning.

Both he and the wife are immature. Maybe the woman has been suspecting his side relationship for a while and everything she did is to ensure she doesn't get kicked out with nothing, she also feels slighted hence her refusal to reason with him at various times.

Anyway, let him move on, and wish him luck with the new bae, may thunder not strike twice. See how happy Daddy Freeze is since he moved on, even immature people deserve love and happiness

when it comes to issues as this in relationship. There is nothing like maturity. I made it clear a post before that a man is immature to his wife till death because there will always be misunderstanding. But that same man is a mature man to a side babe because he doesn't have her time and not building a future with her per say. Why is everyone talking like is the man alone that has a side relationship. Again, another shocker will be that a sugar daddy is the one helping in building that house.

majekdom2:
if the pastor didn't tell her she won't own up. I am sure she is at the church praying daily for a child instead of looking for medical solution to her problems.

Don't judge with a one-sided story

Afamsrealma78,

You don try!!! Don’t divorce her yet o, play along with her till your new wife has put to bed then you show her the bundle of joy GOD has blessed you with.

Melakuchikala:
I am not an advocate of divorce Sir. And will never tell you to do so. But at times I wonder when some women will be truthful to themselves and learn to be good wives. All these unnecessary talks would have been avoided if she was a loyal to her husband. I can't imagine doing all that and my conscience will let me be. It won't even work sef
Sir even if you want a divorce which is so clear you do, let her family know.

Thank you. I know intelligent people when they talk. It's about conscience. I mentioned this. Conscience, conscience. God bless you.

Oyindidi:
Don't judge with a one-sided story

what is judging. Stop using this word unnecessarily pls.

safarigirl:
loyalty begets loyalty. This man has been cheating on his wife, would you be loyal to a man you know is cheating on you?

stop being dumb. He fulfilled h vow til he found she was building. Read his post again. How did you know the woman isn't cheating. She has built a house to a roof level, how are sure to sugar daddy isn't involved.

Lots of silly posts on this thread.

Op has moved on with another woman, wifey has known op is cheating tried to protect herself the way she feels she can.

I still don't get why some guys are huffing and puffing at the fact that she's building a house, the lady doesn't want to lose it all. She's lost her hubby, inlaws, no child. She has planned her exit just incase they finally chase her out.

That house thing is really paining some people sha.

BSF:


Are you aware that these things(health challenges) can be treated without the need for surgery. Have you tried alternative therapy?

Sometimes ignorance of what to do could have caused the prolonged infertility. I am however not oblivious to other issues that may cause infertility.

it should be has she tried instead of building a house!

. Hmmmmm?? Men and their ego. if its your sister is that what you will want her husband to do to her? from all your I saw that communications has been lost and the connection Is no longer there

May God deliver women from men like the op.

GrammarCheck:


You should be more supportive. I married in 2009, I had multiple cysts, no ovulation as well. I ran from pillar to post. Did all sorts of treatment. Finally, after 5 years my husband said STOP! Let's just STOP and enjoy our lives. My mother in law said STOP, let go and let God. I had a support system that made me feel not having a baby is not the end of the world. Doctors said I should come for IVF, they saw one blocked tube. Hubby said no. Infact, he took me abroad for a long awaited honeymoon, after 5yrs. I came back pregnant, even he wasnt expecting it. He said it was too sudden. Can you imagine After delivery, got pregnant with another baby the following month. My two deliveries were 10months interval. With no ovulation.

My husband refused to touch me after the 2nd pregnancy. Said I was a magnet. Took counselling for him to finally come close. He has been begging me not to get pregnant again, but I want twins
With no ovulation.

As I am, I get a period once in 6mths, without intervention. I only know I'm pregnant because I start vomiting. Because there is no period to say 'I missed my period'.

My point is... Be patient, and work with your woman. Who said God cannot turn around a situation? You have given up on your wife, and that is not Godly.

Can two work together except they agree? You need to put away the strange woman and work with your wife. You have only been married 6 years. There is a lifetime ahead of you. These are just bumps along the way.

If I tell you the one my husband did to me. I asked him to inspect a property. He said it was good, he liked the area, it is something he has been looking for. As a the doting wife, I gave him the money to help me buy it. He bought it in his name. The world has not ended. I was angry, but he has my mumu button.

As we are, I have used sense to collect back the money over time. I never said, give me back my money. But for everything I send a budget for, I inflate the cost. Even money for the schoolchool fees, diapers and food. I am shopping for another property which I will buy in my name. I will tell him, for info purposes only. This life is wisdom. So I should have divorced him because he played a fast one on me?

When I confronted him, he said I am a woman, I should be submissive. Ok, in submission, no problem, we will meet on the bed at night, where he cannot say no to my demands.

you are a WISE woman. You solve yo infertility problem first before acquiring property. can husband provides just as this man does. You did not refuse to relocate because of a "shop" that can be managed. You didn't deny a house you were building and your husband didn't deny it wasn't in his name. You are both open to each other. You have a conscience. This lady here does not have one!

lovingyouhun:

Don't you think she already knows you have a second wife? This could be the reason she is building without informing you and also refused to give you the 20k you requested for. She is not dump she knows you will soon send her packing.
I wonder, what could be the reason for not being able to conceive? Are you sure you exhausted all options b4 you jumped right into another woman? Patient pays my Bro

she is building for more than ayear. Let's stop talking like she started yesterday.