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My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Lexusgs430: 10:54pm On Mar 02, 2018
kapelvej:
Hello all

I am not new to nairaland, this is just a new account.
I am more than fed up with my mother in law and my wife, I think they are undermining me. Recently my mother in law went to visit my mum who was in another state with my eldest brother because we lost someone in the family, she spent a night there, she never told me before going, even while there, she never told me she was there, she came back almost 4 days now, she still did not tell me. Although my brother told me the day she came.

She also told my wife- her daughter about the journey, but this was only when she arrived. My wife told me about the journey, and I asked my wife why did her mother do that, she said her mother was of the opinion that if she tells any of us, we may not allow her to go. I try to tell my wife that it even makes it worse, she flared up and started getting angry and saying different things. I was not surprised because she always quarrels anytime I try to express my feelings over issues like that.

Now the big story is that before now, in the past 18 months my mother in law has been avoiding my calls, reason being that my wife did some nasty things, she heard of it, she was not sure of the action I would take, she told her pastor to call me, I got talking with the pastor, the pastor was trying his best to resolve the issue, at a time my mother in law wanted to manipulate the pastor against me, the man stood his ground- God bless him. My mother-in-law so scared the pastor will tell me about the manipulation she wanted to carry out started avoiding me and the pastor till now. we only spoke on those three occasions because they were Easter, Christmas and New year. I am already thinking of telling my wife to go and marry her mum because they are the same thing.

I am seriously thinking of making a huge trouble out of this to drive home the point that I am not as weak as both of them think. Especially for a woman that keeps threatening me with divorce and insults me at will, and a crafty mother in law who is only interested in herself and her daughter...

PLEASE I NEED YOUR KIND RESPONSES


What nasty thing did your wife do? Is she sorry about the nasty thing? Have you fully forgiven the nasty deed(s)?
Do you have any kids together?
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by ACE1010: 10:54pm On Mar 02, 2018
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked


I wish you could say the nasty things your wife did; that way my advice will be well-informed.

But the problem here is a strong bond between your wife and her mother.
Your mom has an unfathomable influence over your wife.
It's so strong that she will confide in her mom and plan with her without your knowledge. This could be detrimental to you and your position as head of the family.

But there's a solution.
Seduce your mother in-law, make her fall in love with you. Ravish her, make her feel like the only woman in the world, make her yearn for you.
Most importantly, try and bed her.

Consider this a dirty task you must do to recover your manhood.
That way her loyalty will change, she will see her daughter as a competitor and not an ally.

She will also know she has an unsavoury secret with you and will be more om your side than against you.

That way she would have lost complete influence over your wife.
Good luck with this.

Haba my brother...that's a joke taken too far!!! He should try and bed his mother-in-law?? Are you kidding this forum??
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by franchasng: 10:57pm On Mar 02, 2018
Op (@kapelvej), between you and your wife, who earns more

From your write up, your wife seems to earn more than you; if you are the sole breadwinner of the family or you earn good enough, a Nigerian mother-in-law will never undermine you, they undermine their daughter's husband only when the man is not doing well financially. If that's your case, work harder and pray....and please threaten her with divorce and in fact be ready to execute it and in fact again, issue her a divorce letter tomorrow if you are the breadwinner and your wife is still undermining you. angry angry

But if your wife is the breadwinner, pls calm down and work on your financial growth because that could be her own way of protesting your not contributing enough to the family welfare.
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by whitering: 11:00pm On Mar 02, 2018
All l see is immaturity from op.

1 Like

Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by lewa(m): 11:00pm On Mar 02, 2018
kapelvej:
Hello all

I am not new to nairaland, this is just a new account.
I am more than fed up with my mother in law and my wife, I think they are undermining me. Recently my mother in law went to visit my mum who was in another state with my eldest brother because we lost someone in the family, she spent a night there, she never told me before going, even while there, she never told me she was there, she came back almost 4 days now, she still did not tell me. Although my brother told me the day she came.

She also told my wife- her daughter about the journey, but this was only when she arrived. My wife told me about the journey, and I asked my wife why did her mother do that, she said her mother was of the opinion that if she tells any of us, we may not allow her to go. I try to tell my wife that it even makes it worse, she flared up and started getting angry and saying different things. I was not surprised because she always quarrels anytime I try to express my feelings over issues like that.

Now the big story is that before now, in the past 18 months my mother in law has been avoiding my calls, reason being that my wife did some nasty things, she heard of it, she was not sure of the action I would take, she told her pastor to call me, I got talking with the pastor, the pastor was trying his best to resolve the issue, at a time my mother in law wanted to manipulate the pastor against me, the man stood his ground- God bless him. My mother-in-law so scared the pastor will tell me about the manipulation she wanted to carry out started avoiding me and the pastor till now. we only spoke on those three occasions because they were Easter, Christmas and New year. I am already thinking of telling my wife to go and marry her mum because they are the same thing.

I am seriously thinking of making a huge trouble out of this to drive home the point that I am not as weak as both of them think. Especially for a woman that keeps threatening me with divorce and insults me at will, and a crafty mother in law who is only interested in herself and her daughter...

PLEASE I NEED YOUR KIND RESPONSES

Be Firm. Stand your ground. Remain firm.
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Unik3030: 11:01pm On Mar 02, 2018
kapelvej:
Lokking back now, I know I was wrong, i could have been more decisive in my decisions. It is not as easy as you think, If you do not forgive, they will call you a sinner who needs redemption, they will point it out to you that as Christians you must learn to forgive no matter what, but now i can see that everybody was just after their interest
that was the greatest mistake of all time, there's one thing I learn about life. don't say yes to others n say no to your self, at d long run u might not forgive yourself for doing that. where are the pastors now to save u? am sure if u report to them twice a month n u go there d ffg month then will definitely tell u, u are not mature or u lack tolerance. my brother believe me we live in the choices we make n anything u do an for your head.pastors have always been d root of majority of marriage crisis since time immemorial. the only advice I have for u now is, sit down, think without reasoning of anybody influence because only u will face the consequences. think of a way out of this mess n take a direct action. am not saying u should divorce your wife but maybe send her back to her mom for like few months, let her spend minimum of 2 months am 100% sure they must have issues b4 d 2 months lapse n then she will come back begging so from there try n split them for u to have peace or better still inform your parents too cos the mother in law n wife can join forces n make u regret your life
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by franchasng: 11:02pm On Mar 02, 2018
Apina:
You are really weak! The day ur wife threatened to divorce , was the day u should have gone in and put her ghana must go outside undecided
that's if the wife isn't the breadwinner of the family which I suspect.

I doubt the op is the breadwinner or higher earner in the marriage cos if he was, I wonder how he would take that nonsense threat from a woman he married in Nigeria when he is not living in UK or United States, it really shows he's weak like his wife and mother-in-law believes cry
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by 9jaown(m): 11:06pm On Mar 02, 2018
bigtt76:
Picshure of moda in-law and wifey please so I can comment.
are u madt.. cheesy pix!! For advice!! Kia!! Use this one.

2 Likes

Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by franchasng: 11:06pm On Mar 02, 2018
BiggyBamBam:
Do you have a good paying job?
Do you have enough money in your account?
Some mothers-in-law disrespect guys if they have no money or standing.

I hope your wife is not the one feeding you?
If you are sure of yourself, then send her packing at least temporarily!
Or ban the mother-in-law from coming to your house
Or move to someplace like Ghana, where it will be difficult for her to visit.
wow, this is it.....if I had seen this comment, I wouldn't comment again. Op read this again and again, herein lies your answer, tell yourself the truth when alone using this comment I quoted as your guide. Wish you well
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by andyanders: 11:08pm On Mar 02, 2018
Gloriagee:
Dude, ko ye mi. Why on earth does ur MIL need to tell u she's going to see ur mum for? shocked Can't ur mum give u that update? So someone must announce a good deed before doing that.

You are making a good deed seem like a disfavor. You guys were bereaved n she went to commiserate with ur mum, u dey vex. What's her crime?
This is the best response to OP's problem. His mother in law did nothing wrong by going to commiserate with her inlaws. Op, you have not stated what wrong your wife or mother inlaw did. Op, I am even suspecting that you are the one that is the problem hence your mother inlaw's attitude. It could be that you are an egocentric kind of person. Call your wife and try to find out how to resolve the issue,unless yot want to divorce her as you have found another lady. Two wrongs cannot make a right. Your wife is not here to defend herself. Ynu have only given your own verson to seek sympathy. Only you can solve your problem.
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Nimi22(f): 11:10pm On Mar 02, 2018
Gloriagee:
Dude, ko ye mi. Why on earth does ur MIL need to tell u she's going to see ur mum for? shocked Can't ur mum give u that update? So someone must announce a good deed before doing that.

You are making a good deed seem like a disfavor. You guys were bereaved n she went to commiserate with ur mum, u dey vex. What's her crime?

I'm really surprised too. Exactly the same thing happened to me my mil was bereaved and my mum went to commiserate though she didn't spend the night, I nor my husband were informed and nobody saw anything wrong about it.
Op maybe for other things your wife has done but not this.
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Biggers82(m): 11:10pm On Mar 02, 2018
I. just wasted my time reading the trash you just wrote
pls how old are you ?
because you are a disgrace to men you just wrote a baseless and brainless write ups u need to be crucified by your Mother in law and your wife Ewu
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Nobody: 11:12pm On Mar 02, 2018
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked


I wish you could say the nasty things your wife did; that way my advice will be well-informed.

But the problem here is a strong bond between your wife and her mother.
Your mom has an unfathomable influence over your wife.
It's so strong that she will confide in her mom and plan with her without your knowledge. This could be detrimental to you and your position as head of the family.

But there's a solution.
Seduce your mother in-law, make her fall in love with you. Ravish her, make her feel like the only woman in the world, make her yearn for you.
Most importantly, try and bed her.

Consider this a dirty task you must do to recover your manhood.
That way her loyalty will change, she will see her daughter as a competitor and not an ally.

She will also know she has an unsavoury secret with you and will be more om your side than against you.

That way she would have lost complete influence over your wife.
Good luck with this.
this guy never disappoint grin
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by grandstar(m): 11:13pm On Mar 02, 2018
kapelvej:
Hello all

I am not new to nairaland, this is just a new account.
I am more than fed up with my mother in law and my wife, I think they are undermining me. Recently my mother in law went to visit my mum who was in another state with my eldest brother because we lost someone in the family, she spent a night there, she never told me before going, even while there, she never told me she was there, she came back almost 4 days now, she still did not tell me. Although my brother told me the day she came.

She also told my wife- her daughter about the journey, but this was only when she arrived. My wife told me about the journey, and I asked my wife why did her mother do that, she said her mother was of the opinion that if she tells any of us, we may not allow her to go. I try to tell my wife that it even makes it worse, she flared up and started getting angry and saying different things. I was not surprised because she always quarrels anytime I try to express my feelings over issues like that.

Now the big story is that before now, in the past 18 months my mother in law has been avoiding my calls, reason being that my wife did some nasty things, she heard of it, she was not sure of the action I would take, she told her pastor to call me, I got talking with the pastor, the pastor was trying his best to resolve the issue, at a time my mother in law wanted to manipulate the pastor against me, the man stood his ground- God bless him. My mother-in-law so scared the pastor will tell me about the manipulation she wanted to carry out started avoiding me and the pastor till now. we only spoke on those three occasions because they were Easter, Christmas and New year. I am already thinking of telling my wife to go and marry her mum because they are the same thing.

I am seriously thinking of making a huge trouble out of this to drive home the point that I am not as weak as both of them think. Especially for a woman that keeps threatening me with divorce and insults me at will, and a crafty mother in law who is only interested in herself and her
daughter...

PLEASE I NEED YOUR KIND RESPONSES

Truth is, you intimidate them subconsciously hence they want to put you down and tell you that you can't control or dictate to them. This is common with weak people.

First and foremost, don't go down to their level and prove you're no pushover. Or are you a weak person too? Rise above it.

Since they are insecure, try and help them feel secure. One way is to encourage both your mother in law and your wife is to join a charity organisation (Acts 20:35). By doing so, their self esteem may rise and make them more secure.

Also, win them over with lots of love. Buy gifts for your wife regularly. It might even be fast-food when back from work.

Once in a while, or even once or twice a week, eat out. Help her in the kitchen regularly. Don't forget you're both one. If you make her really happy, she'll feel horribly guilty hurting you.

By a treadmill, and exercise regularly with your wife. Try and do things with her.

About your mum in law, try and win her over. You intimidate her and she's terrified loosing her daughter to you.

You will have to bring yourself down to achieve that. Anytime she wants to instigate you, don't become angry. Rather, turn the other cheek. and say, 'what did I do this time, no vex ". Or whatever you want to do, feel free. Weak people want to feel powerful over others. The typical bully belong to this spectrum. When you now hail them, this strokes their ego, and they become your friend. At times, just buying N100 paraga can can make you their buddy and are ready to kiss your feet.

Most importantly is the Bible. It never fails!
Apply Bible counsel in your marriage especially those found in Ephesians and watch how things will change for the better. It is vital that both of you apply Bible counsel but even if only one of you does, the difference will be clear.

I am a Jehovah's witnesses. Ask any Witness for the book, "Secret of family success". It is a masterpiece.

Or visit www.jw.org and go to our publications.

Wishing you the best
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by ipobarecriminals: 11:14pm On Mar 02, 2018
passyhansome:
@kapelvej Well I love Nairaland, but their some issues that are too sensitive to be discussed here, if it's relationship outside marriage no problem, but Marriage an institution ordained by God, then you need to connect back to the originator of it, in prayer, word of God, be sensitive to ur spirit. If at all you need advice contact men led by the Spirit not carnal men.
problem share nah problem solve
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by tradepunter: 11:15pm On Mar 02, 2018
franchasng:
Op (@kapelvej), between you and your wife, who earns more

From your write up, your wife seems to earn more than you; if you are the sole breadwinner of the family or you earn good enough, a Nigerian mother-in-law will never undermine you, they undermine their daughter's husband only when the man is not doing well financially. If that's your case, work harder and pray....and please threaten her with divorce and in fact be ready to execute it and in fact again, issue her a divorce letter tomorrow if you are the breadwinner and your wife is still undermining you. angry angry

But if your wife is the breadwinner, pls calm down and work on your financial growth because that could be her own way of protesting your not contributing enough to the family welfare.

You're spot on this is why guys should always be at a level of financial strength before getting married. Once you attain the women meant to be will come. I escaped getting married I saw I wasn't in strong position of financial strength. I also realized my fiance mum depends on her completely for financial support, that to me was a red flag because by proxy she will know our finances.. It got me wondering why would my potential mother in-law be heavily dependent on my future wife to be?? I am not Saying its bad but common sense will tell you.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Nobody: 11:16pm On Mar 02, 2018
Ok
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Nobody: 11:19pm On Mar 02, 2018
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked


I wish you could say the nasty things your wife did; that way my advice will be well-informed.

But the problem here is a strong bond between your wife and her mother.
Your mom has an unfathomable influence over your wife.
It's so strong that she will confide in her mom and plan with her without your knowledge. This could be detrimental to you and your position as head of the family.

But there's a solution.
Seduce your mother in-law, make her fall in love with you. Ravish her, make her feel like the only woman in the world, make her yearn for you.
Most importantly, try and bed her.

Consider this a dirty task you must do to recover your manhood.
That way her loyalty will change, she will see her daughter as a competitor and not an ally.

She will also know she has an unsavoury secret with you and will be more om your side than against you.

That way she would have lost complete influence over your wife.
Good luck with this.
see this cow. You are so foolish it’s actually scary. May God help your evil soul.
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Nobody: 11:22pm On Mar 02, 2018
PLEASE LETS MAKE A PETITION TO GET NWAAMAIKPE OFF NL. HE IS A NUISANCE TO OUR COMMUNITY, WE DO NOT WANT HIM HERE!!!!!

1 Like

Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Nobody: 11:23pm On Mar 02, 2018
He takes break on here, I think it's in his character to be controversial. Some people find him funny.
Safiaaa:
PLEASE LETS MAKE A PETITION TO GET NWAAMAIKPE OFF NL. HE IS A NUISANCE TO OUR COMMUNITY, WE DO NOT WANT HIM HERE!!!!!

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by greypencils: 11:23pm On Mar 02, 2018
Dude, marriage is not all about what is in between your legs. Marriage is exactly what you are facing right now. YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS WITH YOUR MIL as long as she is not under your roof. Na your wife you go face. Whoever told you women are not nags and quarrelsome. TRUST ME. All women are. It now depends on how you can manage her nags. Husbands either ignore them or get violent. A real man should never hit his wife. You dont get mad. You get even. You can altogether stop eating her food. A wife who really loves you would be pained by this. Start keep late nights and blame it on work. As much as possible have a room to yourself and lock yourself inside. Do this for this next three weeks, the third week buy her an expensive gift and tell her how much you love her. Tell her the reasons for your previous actions. Tell her you are sorry and you want your relationship to work. Trust me, like magic, you would see a difference. During those 3 weeks she might even be more naughty and say a lot of rubbish. Be the man and ignore her.
NOTE- I dont know whatever wrong she has done but personally I can forgive anything apart from infidelity. As long as she hasnt cheated on you, your marriage is redeemable and enjoyable. Just be the man. Punish her with one hand, draw her close with the other.

1 Like

Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Nobody: 11:26pm On Mar 02, 2018
Abeg where is the question....


.
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by smokedfish: 11:26pm On Mar 02, 2018
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked


I wish you could say the nasty things your wife did; that way my advice will be well-informed.

But the problem here is a strong bond between your wife and her mother.
Your mom has an unfathomable influence over your wife.
It's so strong that she will confide in her mom and plan with her without your knowledge. This could be detrimental to you and your position as head of the family.

But there's a solution.
Seduce your mother in-law, make her fall in love with you. Ravish her, make her feel like the only woman in the world, make her yearn for you.
Most importantly, try and bed her.

Consider this a dirty task you must do to recover your manhood.
That way her loyalty will change, she will see her daughter as a competitor and not an ally.

She will also know she has an unsavoury secret with you and will be more om your side than against you.

That way she would have lost complete influence over your wife.
Good luck with this.
ho my God! Somebody,aninody call the fuuccken SARS

Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Owamudia: 11:27pm On Mar 02, 2018
Nairalanders are just too strong headed.

Stop quoting nwaamaipe or liking his posts, they won't hear.

Let's do this and see him disappear like the nonentity he is.

Pleeeeaasse

3 Likes

Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by afbstrategies: 11:37pm On Mar 02, 2018
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked


I wish you could say the nasty things your wife did; that way my advice will be well-informed.

But the problem here is a strong bond between your wife and her mother.
Your mom has an unfathomable influence over your wife.
It's so strong that she will confide in her mom and plan with her without your knowledge. This could be detrimental to you and your position as head of the family.

But there's a solution.
Seduce your mother in-law, make her fall in love with you. Ravish her, make her feel like the only woman in the world, make her yearn for you.
Most importantly, try and bed her.

Consider this a dirty task you must do to recover your manhood.
That way her loyalty will change, she will see her daughter as a competitor and not an ally.

She will also know she has an unsavoury secret with you and will be more om your side than against you.

That way she would have lost complete influence over your wife.
Good luck with this.

Damn. I have never laughed this hard in a week, especially the part about seducing his mother-in-law. grin

3 Likes

Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Nobody: 11:40pm On Mar 02, 2018
Maybe Small Doctor knows the reason lipsrsealed
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Aldebaran(m): 11:41pm On Mar 02, 2018
Hmm
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Ellabae(f): 11:41pm On Mar 02, 2018
U are a man so decide as one
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by thestevens: 11:42pm On Mar 02, 2018
Marriage is a unification of two individuals, you did not marry your mother in-law but rather you married your wife, from what i can i deduce here is that you allow too many people into your private life which is detrimental to the success of your marriage, you need to sit your wife down and discuss the way forward on how you intend to run your home.if your inlaw visit your mom and ask your wife to tell you for me i see nothing wrong with it. By the way it seems you are not a very busy person, you should allow some things slide and don't be too clingy for peace to rain in your home. Peace
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by BabbanBura(m): 11:44pm On Mar 02, 2018
chii8:
Don't take third party into marriage, they will not hear.

God bless you my sister. Wifies and Hubbies, never allow anyone outside your marriage direct your conduct in your marriage, especially negatively. Becareful of crafty influences especially
Re: My Mother-In-Law And My Wife Undermine Me by Nobody: 11:46pm On Mar 02, 2018
kapelvej:
Hello all

I am not new to nairaland, this is just a new account.
I am more than fed up with my mother in law and my wife, I think they are undermining me. Recently my mother in law went to visit my mum who was in another state with my eldest brother because we lost someone in the family, she spent a night there, she never told me before going, even while there, she never told me she was there, she came back almost 4 days now, she still did not tell me. Although my brother told me the day she came.

She also told my wife- her daughter about the journey, but this was only when she arrived. My wife told me about the journey, and I asked my wife why did her mother do that, she said her mother was of the opinion that if she tells any of us, we may not allow her to go. I try to tell my wife that it even makes it worse, she flared up and started getting angry and saying different things. I was not surprised because she always quarrels anytime I try to express my feelings over issues like that.

Now the big story is that before now, in the past 18 months my mother in law has been avoiding my calls, reason being that my wife did some nasty things, she heard of it, she was not sure of the action I would take, she told her pastor to call me, I got talking with the pastor, the pastor was trying his best to resolve the issue, at a time my mother in law wanted to manipulate the pastor against me, the man stood his ground- God bless him. My mother-in-law so scared the pastor will tell me about the manipulation she wanted to carry out started avoiding me and the pastor till now. we only spoke on those three occasions because they were Easter, Christmas and New year. I am already thinking of telling my wife to go and marry her mum because they are the same thing.

I am seriously thinking of making a huge trouble out of this to drive home the point that I am not as weak as both of them think. Especially for a woman that keeps threatening me with divorce and insults me at will, and a crafty mother in law who is only interested in herself and her daughter...

PLEASE I NEED YOUR KIND RESPONSES
I'll delete your post because you violated the rules

New account

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