tosyne2much:
I know say small wahala go happen for this thread

Fmartin:
Why do one have to pay bride price?

Nairalanders i need your views

wait

lemme goan ask olisah metuh

MDsambo:


In Islam, women are not owned by their families and should not be traded with. If bride price is paid to the bride's family, then I think that makes her no difference with a goat being sold in the market.

Wonder why some people reason and talk as if na them know all,Na u go tell us ur own and waka why calling other human as a goat becuz of her tradition



Oga ooooo

XhosaNostra:
In some cultures, it is believed that once a woman is married, she is no longer part of her biological family, but a new daughter/ family member to her husband's family. So by paying a bride price, you're showing gratitude to the people who raised her, fed her, sent her to school & instilled some values in her. They prepared her just for you & your family, so you must give them something back as a reward for all the work they had to put in. At least that's how we look at it in my culture. In the olden days you couldn't even run back home if your husband is troubling you, they'd send you back so you can go discuss your issues with your "new mother".

I beg to differ except if you are not igbo

XhosaNostra:
In some cultures, it is believed that once a woman is married, she is no longer part of her biological family, but a new daughter/ family member to her husband's family. So by paying a bride price, you're showing gratitude to the people who raised her, fed her, sent her to school & instilled some values in her. They prepared her just for you & your family, so you must give them something back as a reward for all the work they had to put in. At least that's how we look at it in my culture. In the olden days you couldn't even run back home if your husband is troubling you, they'd send you back so you can go discuss your issues with your "new mother".

Big up

Fmartin:
Why do one have to pay bride price?

Nairalanders i need your views

You don't have to pay bride price, just find a girl from a family with no attachment to culture.

It is a poverty inspired act....held onto, because it profits women.
As can be seen from the responses thus far, no logical answers, yet, the practice is in force. You wonder why the superiority complex of a gender over another persists...because, you cannot eat your cake, albeit symbolically, and have it!

starbuck:





I beg to differ except if you are not igbo

Differ all you want. I gave an explanation of what it means to MY people.

What does it mean for the Igbos?

yeyerolling:
ur forefathers worshiped idols dat needed human sacrifice. Y u self no dey do am

Because bride price payment is not idol worshipping

bride price is not much islamically, you would have ask about the traditional bills

Thanks for all the good work. Nice post your posts are always knowledgeable and interesting to read.

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Fmartin:
Why do one have to pay bride price?

Nairalanders i need your views

Because it is a tradition, a part of our culture that has an important message and significance. It highlights the value placed on a well brought up girl. She is not meant to cheap, something thrown away like a trash.

Our culture demands bride price

XhosaNostra:
In some cultures, it is believed that once a woman is married, she is no longer part of her biological family, but a new daughter/ family member to her husband's family. So by paying a bride price, you're showing gratitude to the people who raised her, fed her, sent her to school & instilled some values in her. They prepared her just for you & your family, so you must give them something back as a reward for all the work they had to put in. At least that's how we look at it in my culture. In the olden days you couldn't even run back home if your husband is troubling you, they'd send you back so you can go discuss your issues with your "new mother".

If she doesn't have new moda and new fada or relatives again nko? What does she have to do?

MrOwonikoko:




If she doesn't have new moda and new fada or relatives again nko? What does she have to do?

Then she becomes the mother. She's there to build or add on to an existing family after all. In times of trouble, then she can consult her family (uncles) if there's noone on the husband's side of the family.

To compensate the family for taking their daughter but the practice serves no practical purpose anymore.

The origin of bride price. Bride price was established when wedding became a public issue, then the need to beautify the bride before public presentation became essential and the best person to do it was the man who claims to love the woman. At that time it demonstrates how much love he has for her when she appears well beautified. Entertainment then was a public responsibility. If you judge from the initial philosophy you will see that what we have today is a gross violation of not only wedding ceremony but the marriage institution itself.

chocberry:

You know what the thread will turn out to be nah

XhosaNostra:
In some cultures, it is believed that once a woman is married, she is no longer part of her biological family, but a new daughter/ family member to her husband's family. So by paying a bride price, you're showing gratitude to the people who raised her, fed her, sent her to school & instilled some values in her. They prepared her just for you & your family, so you must give them something back as a reward for all the work they had to put in. At least that's how we look at it in my culture. In the olden days you couldn't even run back home if your husband is troubling you, they'd send you back so you can go discuss your issues with your "new mother".

"dy Prepared Her Just For Her Husband?"anthony Joshua Said Diz Same Tin Dat One Day Hiz Neice Wil Be Sumbody's Wife U Guys Wanted To Chop Him.

TheSuperNerd:
The real answer: I believe paying bride price is a form of traditional/cultural formality to show that the lady being given away by her family in marriage is now "owned" by the man marrying her. It is also to show courtesy to the family of the lady as a small way of saying, "Take this as a token for all your efforts exerted and for all you invested in your daughter to become the woman she is now"

Note that, this bride price thing goes way back to the days of our fore fathers and uhmmm... Well... Traditional courtesy is the just what this bride price is all about. In some parts of Asia like in India, women pay brideprice for men... Loolll... What will y'all say about that?

Anyway shaa, in a final nutshelp on this point, Brideprice is just a traditional way of showing courtesy to the family and appreciating them in a special little way for the efforts they exerted in bringing up a lady ripe for marriage. Note that the amount paid is NEVER the true worth of the woman... It is only a token to symbolise that the lady is indeed worthy and priceless.... And a token of appreciation for all the parents and family did and contributed to making her bloom into the lady shevis now.






The sad reality: To mundane men and men with a warped sense of what marriage actually is....this is what brideprice is (to them)...

Brideprice is a way of buying a woman off her family so that she will have no say in his own house. I bought her dammit! So she should worship at my feet naa.... You think say e easy to pay One or two milla for woman head... Omo pack well ooo... I don buy am so make she behave. I can do whatever I want now

Brideprice is a what some men pay to use in arguments later with his wife to intimidate her into submission. Such a man will say, "Listen up woman! You have no right to tell me that what I did is wrong! You have no right to question how I run this family... I dont even need your advice sef. Have you forgotten how much I paid on your head? So swerve and know your place woman! You are a property! My property! and you have no say here"

Brideprice is also what is paid by these bunch of baby-men for EGO's sake also to be used in arguments again so that it will be said to the woman... For instance..., "Bia!! I dont owe a dime on your head okay! So you will give me sex whenever I want it, whether you are tired or not inugo?"


Lastly, and this is possibly the most cynical.... Some men actually do this and will use it as a way of measuring the woman's worth.
"Listen up Nneka! I paid Three million on your head alone minus expenses incurred for the wedding and all... Three million is what you are worth so biko, don't be running your mouth to me when I have more than 50 million for my akant inugo? I can buy and bring in 20 of pyu onto this house and nothing will happen! So sit down and mind your place woman!"




Conclusion: It is tradition where I come from to pay a bride price for the ladies. But let us try respect and honor the true reason for doing so and neevr use that as the yardstick to judge our wife's worth. I know of some people happily married today who never had to drag the matter of brideprice or even paid sef. Some didn't have to even pay brideprice, yet they are are quite okay in their marriage

Brideprice Or NOT..... Marriage is sacred and it works best when the man treats his woman like the Queen she us to him and when the Woman honors her man as her King. Finito.

You just nailed it

I think I am falling in love.
Let's fix a date that I will come and see your parents to pay groom's price

LordIsaac:
It is a poverty inspired act....held onto, because it profits women.
As can be seen from the responses thus far, no logical answers, yet, the practice is in force. You wonder why the superiority complex of a gender over another persists...becaise, you cannot eat your cake, albeit symbolically, and have it!

I wouldnt say it's a poverty inspired act, at least for most cultures who practice bride price. Most cultures i know don't demand much in terms of the bride price. Some collect amounts as low as 1000 naira, some places return the bride price there and then saying they're not selling their daughter.
Some people may use it as a money making venture but for the majority, its not seen as such.
Personally, i think it should be abolished or returned back to the groom during the ceremony.

youngreezy:
"dy Prepared Her Just For Her Husband?"anthony Joshua Said Diz Same Tin Dat One Day Hiz Neice Wil Be Sumbody's Wife U Guys Wanted To Chop Him.

Who is the "you" you're referring to? I don't know what his definition of that word is since it can mean different things to different people. I didn't even bother with that thread.

Our cultural definition is, you get a competent, functional & self-sufficient human being who can raise a family or take care of a household unassisted.

Best described as payment made in "exchange" for the bride's family's loss of her labor and fertility within her kinship group. It was also a gift from the groom to his new bride's family. In this sense it is a substantial gesture of goodwill in the forging of the new unity of the lineages.

The custom is aimed at bringing the two families together, fostering mutual respect, and indicating that the man is capable of supporting his wife financially and emotionally. I heard a story where the in-laws asked for a Mac Book Air amongst other things.

Now couples start married life in debt which was never what bride price was about. It’s now an actual financial barrier for young man who struggle with the financial requirements.

MDsambo:
To those saying paying bride price is like buying the bride. Islamically, the bride price is paid to the bride not her parents (it's her property).

.
SORRY WE Don‘t need any islamic view on this matter here. Their discriminations is overwhelming. For instance, a muslim will never eat of any animal slaughtered by a Christian, and so many other stuffs like that. Can you imagine that? Rubbish.

XhosaNostra:


Ok. I don't wanna go into that because women are often treated as properties in most Islamic countries/societies. Often seen but not heard. So let's leave it right there.

Lol. It's smart of you to quickly end the conversation with that guy.

Bride price is a traditional thing, yet they always drag their religion to it.

dragonking2:


Lol. It's smart of you to quickly end the conversation with that guy.

Bride price is a traditional thing, yet they always drag their religion to it.

IKR!

See what I found on Wikipedia concerning Bride price:

Africa
In parts of Africa, a traditional marriage ceremony depends on payment of a bride price to be valid. In Sub-Saharan Africa, bride price must be paid first in order for the couple to get permission to marry in church or in other civil ceremonies, or the marriage is not considered valid by the bride's family. The amount can vary from a token to a great sum, real estate and other values. Lobolo (or Lobola, sometimes also known as Roora) is the same tradition in most cultures in Southern Africa Shona, Venda, Zulu, Ndebele etc. The amount includes a few to several herd of cattle, goats and a sum of money depending on the family. The cattle and goats constitute an integral part of the traditional marriage for ceremonial purposes during and after the original marriage ceremony.

The beasts and money are not always paid all at once. Depending on the wealth of the groom he and his family can enter into a non written contract with the bride's family similar to the Jewish Ketubah, in which he promises to pay what he owes within a specified period of time. This is done to allow young men who do not have much to marry while they work towards paying off the bride price as well as raising a family or wait for their own sisters and aunts to get married so they in turn can use the amounts received to offset their debts to their in-laws. This amount must be paid by his family in the event he is incapacitated or dies. It is considered a family debt of honor.

The bride price tradition can have destructive effects when young men don't have the means to marry. In strife-torn South Sudan, for instance, many young men steal cattle for this reason, often risking their lives. In mid twentieth century Gabon a person's whole life can be governed by the money affairs connected with marriage; to secure a wife for their son, parents begin to pay installments for a girl of only a few years; from the side of the wife's family there begins a process of squeezing which goes on for years.

MDsambo:


In Islam, women are not owned by their families and should not be traded with. If bride price is paid to the bride's family, then I think that makes her no difference with a goat being sold in the market.

In Islam? Is Islam your culture? What happened to Hausa culture?
Black man copying Arabic culture calling it islamic culture.

BP, the abbreviation and its many meanings

Bride Price
Blood Pressure
Better Person
Big P****
Beans & Plantain

Add you own

Aside tradition, bride price, also known as dowry, is some form of homage made in honor of the family giving away their daughter [or son] for marriage. If you keep asking why you have to pay it, someone may ask you why you aren't serious to settle down properly.

Fmartin:
Why do one have to pay bride price?

Nairalanders i need your views

To compensate the bride's family for the money resources they spent training her... and also compensation for the lost 'labor'... lady that would otherwise have been working the farm and doing home chores.

MDsambo:
To those saying paying bride price is like buying the bride. Islamically, the bride price is paid to the bride not her parents (it's her property).

it is the dowry dats paid to d bride....bride price is to the family

tosyne2much:
I know say small wahala go happen for this thread

The real question should be, why are we still paying bride price.