₦airaland Forum

AntiBrutus:
Oh well, watch the menist react this time around.
It has to be either way

I know you love the drama,and you prefer when ladies are the reactors, because you know the guys will drag them.
Well done Sir

Some have already started reacting like earthworm that they poured salt on. It pierces the soul of some people when anything is written in favour of women.

When the article is "Nigerian women should be more attractive"..."Nigerian women are useless"...NIgerian women are the cause of tornados"...Nigerian women oooooo, you will see them commenting with so much happiness as if they won the lottery.

Toks2008 yes you usually stand for the truth though you sometimes sound biased towards women. I see a new wave of objectivity coming from you.

Any man that truly cares about his wife won't put her under stress in the name of "house chores" or "woman duties".

donsimo:
Please before you comment, bring your brain along.

There must be something loose in your head, don't quote me again or you'll get what's coming your way quicker than you could fathom.

some people future wife r in hotels with other men....and many are now doing olosho

XML33:
Women were created for childbirth, child rearing and tending to her family. That's about it. Any other duty society places on them is simply a gross misunderstanding of their nature and an ignorant attempt to fit them into a role they aren't naturally suited for. Their behavioral traits is proof. They are very emotional beings. They are hardly logical. They are also very empathic and compassionate. These are qualities you need if you are going to successfully raise a child.

Women are more interested in people than things or abstract concepts. They weren't built to be strong or fast like men are. Just strong enough and fast enough to not be killed in confrontations with dangerous situations. Every typical behavior of women is predicated on her maternal instincts. From her interest in men to what gives her the most meaning. It might shock you to know that women were more happy in ancient, medieval and Victorian times than they currently are now that they've been pushed into the workforce. Lots of studies have been done to prove this.

Human civilization is over 5000 years and within these vast period of time, women have only been doing one thing: Raising children and tending to the home. And society has progressed. There haven't been issues at the level of the family, the sort that we are having today. Women only started doing other stuff roughly 40 years ago, and look at how society is already crumbling. The foundation of the family is weakened because kids are raised in homes where they don't have mothers anymore. What they have are just two fathers who hardly have time for them. Boys are beginning to lose their masculinity because what's the point of masculinity when there is no longer any femininity? Women are being told that they are equal to men and must strive to compete with men in the work force, and after striving and competing and winning, they end up sad and lonely because this really isn't what they want. What they want is a family and kids and emotional security from their husbands, and to invest all their time tending to their family. You guys look at the ancient and medieval cultures and you think they were stupid because they relegated women to certain duties. They might have been stupid in terms of scientific matters, which by and large was an accumulative process, but they weren't stupid in creating a sustainable society, which they did for long periods of time.

At the end of the day, and as we speak, you are a male speaking for women. Logic tells me that when I need answers to certain questions the source of the answers is important. I won't ask an Anglo Saxon about what it's like to be Navajo American, in the same way, would it be wise or foolish to take your opinion in this matter as truth despite the glaring course the world on.

Yes women are designed to carry and nurture their babies, yes they are usually weaker than men in physical strength. these are obvious biological fact about the Human Anatomy
We also know that mentally the female brain is Equally capable as that of the male's.

one of the traits of living organisms is adaptability.
the obvious sexual dysmorphism that exists in the human species was suited for the "traditional" family setting (wife stays home tends after children, Husband hunts and protects) at a time when Physical strength was needed to get by in the world.

contrary to what many shallow thinkers might think, neither our sexual organs nor sexual hormones is the most important attribute we have as Humans, our brain is. And see, through it's application we have been able to do the imaginable (some people more than others anyway).

in today's world there's still survival of the fittest........though not physically but mentally. The successful ones are the ones applying their Brains day in day out. The function of the brain doesn't care about the genital, or muscle mass or shape of its container. Today we have women enlisted in the Military across the world protecting men, other women, and children. This can be said for almost all works of life.

Masculinity isn't tied to a male's ability to subjugate or relegate it's female counterpart. The problem is not with the female it is the male who has refused to evolve and take its role as a leader, always looking in the rear view mirror wanting to go back to the simpler days, and now is confused on what to do moving forward.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
The complain come when she has a tedious job and you expect her to do these chores like WTF!? Come back home after a tedious day and the wife is expected to go straight into the kitchen and cook and the man will b there watching tv...

Thats where African women got it all wrong.we r copying the british women.women in uk assumed manly roles when their husbands went to WW1 and WW2 .it was not out of mandatory roles,it was out of circumstance and compulsion mothers became breadwinners.but look at it today,what is the result of that ? failed marriages,bossy women,domineering attitudes from the queen of england,reporting husbands to the police,increase in domestic violence because a woman left her purpose of creation and wants to evolve into a man role without the mental capability,emotional balance to handle things.such women hardly love their husbands because they would expect too much from him and get little in return.

tevinsolt:
At the end of the day, and as we speak, you are a male speaking for women. Logic tells me that when I need answers to certain questions the source of the answers is important. I won't ask an Anglo Saxon about what it's like to be Navajo American, in the same way, would it be wise or foolish to take your opinion in this matter as truth despite the glaring course the world on.

Yes women are designed to carry and nurture their babies, yes they are usually weaker than men in physical strength. these are obvious biological fact about the Human Anatomy
We also know that mentally the female brain is Equally capable as that of the male's.

one of the traits of living organisms is adaptability.
the obvious sexual dysmorphism that exists in the human species was suited for the "traditional" family setting (wife stays home tends after children, Husband hunts and protects) at a time when Physical strength was needed to get by in the world.

contrary to what many shallow thinkers might think, neither our sexual organs nor sexual hormones is the most important attribute we have as Humans, our brain is. And see, through it's application we have been able to do the imaginable (some people more than others anyway).

in today's world there's still survival of the fittest........though not physically but mentally. The successful ones are the ones applying their Brains day in day out. The function of the brain doesn't care about the genital, or muscle mass or shape of its container. Today we have women enlisted in the Military across the world protecting men, other women, and children. This can be said for almost all works of life.

Masculinity isn't tied to a male's ability to subjugate or relegate it's female counterpart. The problem is not with the female it is the male who has refused to evolve and take its role as a leader, always looking in the rear view mirror wanting to go back to the simpler days, and now is confused on what to do moving forward.

you said today women enlist into the military protecting men women and children but i hope you know the entry requirements was reduced and im some cases a special quota system created before they even had a chance. what i would have love to see was for the entry requirement to remain unchanged since afterall we are all equal. more to it is that most of them have been relegated to administrative activities while the men are the ones who do the battles

Cuteamigo1:
you said today women enlist into the military protecting men women and children but i hope you know the entry requirements was reduced and a special quota system created before they even had a chance. what i would have love to see was for the entry requirement to remain unchanged since afterall we are all equal.

I hate to say it but the point just went right past you.

Warfare today is not about how heavy your sword is or how good you can ride a horse swinging through the battlefield. Warfare is technology, the brilliant strategists working on the most effective way of taking out enemies with minimal loss.
Again Women aren't built like men but trust me a well trained female soldier doesn't need to physically engage you to take you out.

Yes, men and women are equal, boys and girls are equal yet different in a way and even more so individually but we are made of the same material, and our wants and needs can narrowed down to almost the same thing.

Your parents are not superior to you neither are you to them, same with your boss/colleagues and you. Your placement in life is just different than theirs.

tevinsolt:
I hate to say it but the point just went right past you.

Warfare today is not about how heavy your sword is or how good you can ride a horse swinging through the battlefield. Warfare is technology, the brilliant strategists working on the most effective way of taking out enemies with minimal loss.
Again Women aren't built like men but trust me a well trained female soldier doesn't need to physically engage you to take you out.

Yes, men and women are equal, boys and girls are equal yet different in a way and even more so individually but we are made of the same material, and our wants and needs can narrowed down to almost the same thing.
Your parents are not superior to you neither are you to them, same with your boss/colleagues and you. Your placement in life is just different than theirs.

the points dint go right pass me trust me i understood most of what you said but disagreed a little bit with some of things you said thats all. i love the idea of empowering women but comming back to issue the op raised, one thing am sure about is by the time we are done with marriage as an institution given the demands that are placed on it in the modern society and given what is to be expected in the future it will become practically useless. and if thats what will make some people happy then they should go for it. marriage wasn't meant to this complex as the role of the partners is clearly defined but its slowly becoming rocket science to run a family this days.

Cuteamigo1:
the points dint go right pass me trust me i understood most of what you said but disagreed a little bit with some of things you said thats all. i love the idea of empowering women but comming back to issue the op raised, one thing am sure about is by the time we are done with marriage as an institution given the demands that are placed on it in the modern society and given what is to be expected in the future it will become practically useless. and if thats what will make some people happy then they should go for it. marriage wasn't meant to this complex as the role of the partners is clearly defined but its slowly becoming rocket science to run a family this days.

It's OK, we all have our opinions, sometimes we agree, sometimes we don't. And I see that you understand that.

There are women who want the traditional marriage and there are the ones who think that's what they want until they get in it and discover it isn't. There are those who are very ambitious (moving and shaking out the home) but also looking for an ambitious man who will lead inside the home.

Also let's not act like the marriages from the past were ideal. In many cases they were highly dysfunctional because of the power imbalance. "Absolute power corrupts"
In many cases men are usually the ones threatened when their woman is up and doing. But some Men are secured in who they are and what they have to offer continue to push and set the bar for their women professionally emotionally and mentally and the woman is in awe of such masculine energy.

oshaosha2014:
That woman that seemed pampered will still be complaining about many things the husband didn't do. who can satisfy that specie of man.

For you to come to such conclusion, maybe uv been with greedy women and uv lost foresight that all women are not the same. Likewise all men are not the same.

She doesn't complain. Our flats is next to each other. Husband , wife and kids look content and happy. The past four years we've lived next to each other, no quarrel, no beating, no raising of voices.
There are women who are content and happy married to a good man who knows what it takes to be the man of the house.
Not all women are greedy.
If you are a good man who is not stingy, God always blesses one with the right partner, if and only if u hand over your choice to God and heed to his bidding when dating.

XML33:
It's the responsibility of a woman to take care of the kids and tend to most of the house chores because that's what she's created for. Enough of this equality/switching of roles nonsense. Most women naturally want to take care of children. Most women naturally want to tend to the needs of their husbands. I'm not supporting over labouring a woman with duties or not considering how stressful certain home duties can be. But the fact remains that these things are her duties and she should do them without complain. Just the same way a man should provide for the family and offer protection & emotional security to his wife as well as shower her with affection and care without complain.

Men have been going to wars and dying in their millions for thousands of years and no man has complained. Men have been doing the dangerous jobs and losing fingers and limbs for thousands of years and no man has complained. I don't see why women should complain because of ordinary house chores.

@bolded, do they?
Is it not 50-50 we have in terms of providing in the home between men and their wives these days?

HaneefahRN:
It's not easy being a woman, even if the man has no job and the woman is the sole provider in the house, she is still expected to take up all the home tending roles and chores and the husband and children grooming just so she won't be seen as proud or making the husband a 'slave' just cos he doesn't earn.

How many men are sole financial providers in the home? How many are even responsible enough to provide the needs of the wife and Children. And with this Economy it just isn't easy so one way or the other the woman contributes to helping the man with 'his' responsibility. But a different tune comes up if the man helps the wife with 'her' responsibility just to make life easier for her and the family as a whole.
Then we wonder why women age so fast.

Thank you! You have said what was on my mind. Granted,the responsibilities of men and women have been shared(by someone we don't even know). But nowadays, women help out in the man's "responsibility" and nothing much is said about it. In fact, except for very rich families, it's now almost a crime for a wife to just sit at home as a housewife without assisting the husband in HIS responsibility considering the economy. She will be termed insensitive and lazy! Some even do the PROVISION RESPONSIBILITY better than the men. Yet, it's a normal thing.

But turn the table around. People will call you names as a man & label you weak and unmanly just because you want to assist your wife in her own "responsibilities". Which means it's even almost impossible for a husband to do his wife's duties even better than the wife just as we do sometimes.

Talk about double standards!

Cc: Cassyrooy, come and see interesting topic. Chocberry, what's your view?

boyjo:
@bolded, do they?
Is it not 50-50 we have in terms of providing in the home between men and their wives these days?

Please ask him o. If we are helping them do their "responsibility", why can't they fo same for us without whining so much about it?

Sometimes it's even more than 50-50 in favour of the wives

MissJoy29:
Please ask him o. If we are helping them do their "responsibility", why can't they fo same for us without whining so much about it?

Sometimes it's even more than 50-50 in favour of the wives

I know dear.
Which goes to prove that teenagers are the culprits of the silly comments.

boyjo:
I know dear.
Which goes to prove that teenagers are the culprits of the silly comments.

Lol....perhaps.

satisfying yourselves with untrue reality .....lol.

the real world awaits outside nairaland ...good luck.

logic first
sentiment almost never
this will help you....this is my advice.
read and follow , don't forget to thank me.

#forthosethatarewise

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
The complain come when she has a tedious job and you expect her to do these chores like WTF!? Come back home after a tedious day and the wife is expected to go straight into the kitchen and cook and the man will b there watching tv...

Yeah, that`s the complain.

MissJoy29:
Lol....perhaps.

I DON'T DO ROMANCE/FMAILY SECTIONS BUT SINCE YOU CALLED ME HERE.

MY VIEWS AND YOURS ON THE SUBJECT MATTER ARE NTO FAR FROM EACH OTHER.




Everyone has a right to whatever model they choose to imbibe in running a family. Men have a right to their desire while ladies have a right to their expectations.


If we follow the formular of effective home planning, and not who wins like it's a competition, both parties can bring the best out of one another without making the climate around the home toxic.


I feel ( my perception ) that it's better for ladies to use what we men crave for before sealing the deal to negotatiet the best out for themselves, and set short,medium and long term goals. Also, men should make room for their wives and both parties should discuss the terms of the engagement before the game starts.


Many times, people become solidified into the structure they start with tending to avert any form of change. Men use your power, women use yours, both come to a rational reasonable objective end in all your dealings.


The home is not a battle front. Finally, when we choose to stop seeing wars and start becoming tolerant of one another we will all be married, all these strict rules, laws, principles only promotes and aggravates fear and increases tension in or hearts. Let eveyone build what he/she wants to build based on the vision in our hearts of hearts. Once again the home is not a battle ground.


As for me the last ordinary dating experience i did everything to make a lady feel loved, i earned the title of being a weak man, so care should be taken. Any man that embraces a woman to show care, support and love is easily termed a weak man, so men need to be careful how they express love for their women. If i use the few expereinces i've had i'll advice men not to overly help a woman in her responsibility oh, you're likely to be called a weak man by an unappreciative wife, the same one you're trying to help

I think women want men that makes life hard for them despite craving for good treatment.


Guys be careful how you help a woman. MissJoy29, you be my sister but i will say this oh.


When men show quality care to ladies, they call men weak, too emotional and all sort of names.


So allow me recommend that men need to increase the workload of their wives.


Increase the laundry, house chores, make them pound yam, reject eba, when they finish cooking, reject it so she can prepare a new meal. don't show satisfactipon in things she does, when a woman becomes too easily appreciated they hate it, so do things that will make them keep hopping up and down.



Follow this advice at your peril

roarik:
you are wonderful..husband material 100%

You might be disappointed. Some people don't practice what they preach!!!!!

MAKE SENSE

pantherblack:
If we follow the formular of effective home planning, and not who wins like it's a competition, both parties can bring the best out of one another without making the climate around the home toxic.

Any man that embraces a woman to show care, support and love is easily termed a weak man, so men need to be careful how they express love for their women. If i use the few expereinces i've had i'll advice men not to overly help a woman in her responsibility oh, you're likely to be called a weak man by an unappreciative wife, the same one you're trying to help

I love the first paragraph! So true!

I have heard a lot of men complain about what you wrote in the second paragraph. So, I will agree with you on that. I'm only happy you said it's an unappreciative woman that can do that.

But then, there are still some men that just derive joy in overburdening their wives even when they know their wives are good women. They are just too "male" to help out.

pantherblack:
I think women want men that makes life hard for them despite craving for good treatment.


Guys be careful how you help a woman. MissJoy29, you be my sister but i will say this oh.


When men show quality care to ladies, they call men weak, too emotional and all sort of names.


So allow me recommend that men need to increase the workload of their wives.


Increase the laundry, house chores, make them pound yam, reject eba, when they finish cooking, reject it so she can prepare a new meal. don't show satisfactipon in things she does, when a woman becomes too easily appreciated they hate it, so do things that will make them keep hopping up and down.



Follow this advice at your peril

Oh thank God for your last statement. I almost had a heart attack.

I know you are not one of the bad guys.

MissJoy29:
I love the first paragraph! So true!

I have heard a lot of men complain about what you wrote in the second paragraph. So, I will agree with you on that. I'm only happy you said it's an unappreciative woman that can do that.

But then, there are still some men that just derive joy in overburdening their wives even when they know their wives are good women. They are just too "male" to help out.

See we don't care if a woman can't cook, we can get a cook. na my money kill am.


We don't care if a woman can't wash, we can get a dry cleaner to do the work. Na our money kill am.


What bothers us is when we show care and love, they always throw it back in our faces. So we are careful in dealing with y'all our sisters

Not all women can receive good care without turning into something else. It's about meeting the partner with the right stuff

oshaosha2014:
You talk as if the white chic laziness is a modern way of doing things. anyway, there are some of them that even understand wifely duties than this African girls that want to copy the rotten side of oyinbo but are not even doing it well or overdoing it. just provide all a white chic needs as your wife in the home and she may not demand any assistance from you except when it is something that needs man strength.

guy forget dat tin.we always say that these oyinbo ladies are submissive in order to console ourselves but in stack reality its the other way round.only a minute few are home bred.u try ask any of our brothers based overseas married to oyinbo ladies.na our guys dey handle d cooking.why do u think many of dem dey rush back to naija come marry.

OhiOfIhima:
oga... Their culture if u ask me.. The topic in here is basically discuss for African Society not d western world... So let direct our views to African society.

the topic here is telling men to appreciate some of the sacrifices their wives go through for them.that i get.

tevinsolt:
There must be something loose in your head, don't quote me again or you'll get what's coming your way quicker than you could fathom.

See, still didn't bring it. Again.

MyFlair:
love POTION

ok thanks 4 d correction

Marotzke:
Why personalise what is obviously an objective treatise?
What has his personal preferences got to do with his argument on what ought to be?
House hold choirs does not begin or end with cooking and washing.
The right question is; who is responsible for what?
Whether doing it, or supervising those that do it, the responsibility to take care of the house hold lies with the woman.

an african woman who is sane knows its her job to keep the homefront in place.u dont have to tell her that.having said that,its quite odd for a guy who has fanatical love for european ladies to be saying how women should do domestic chorus.its very odd to me oo cos african men who are married to whites are always very very submissive.

MissJoy29:
Thank you! You have said what was on my mind. Granted, the responsibilities of men and women have been shared(by someone we don't even know). But nowadays, women help out in the man's "responsibility" and nothing much is said about it. In fact, except for very rich families, it's now almost a crime for a wife to just sit at home as a housewife without assisting the husband in HIS responsibility considering the economy. She will be termed insensitive and lazy! Some even do the PROVISION RESPONSIBILITY better than the men. Yet, it's a normal thing.

But turn the table around. People will call you names as a man & label you weak and unmanly just because you want to assist your wife in her own "responsibilities". Which means it's even almost impossible for a husband to do his wife's duties even better than the wife just as we do sometimes.

Talk about double standards!

Cc: Cassyrooy, come and see interesting topic. Chocb*rry, what's your view?

Thank you Ms. Joy, very interesting topic indeed.

The bolded areas of your post are just the two points I want to discuss from your very good post.

1. I'm a strong advocate for free womanhood, no matter how much will be said regarding how men and women interact, opposition is inevitable.

We just have to forget what we sometimes read on the virtually unrealistic cyberspace and concentrate on our jobs as husbands. And not just that, but as fathers too.

In marriage, no man is solely a husband and the woman a wife and a mother? Nope! Every stage requires a great deal of adjustment from both parties.

2. Men doing chores, tending to the house and kids isn't any big deal.
Those who contradict are sometimes egoistic and narcissistic. Does it matter who washed or cleaned? People get tall but they don't grow.

In reality, many of those who claim to not do chores will later claim to love their mom more than their dad who spends little time at home.

I don't have much to say but I admire men that are not only husbands, but combines fatherhood with it. Both the wife and children are his priority. Cooking to surprise everyone, understanding the make up of the wife and her moods and tends to her needs.

Many men should be handed Every Woman on their day of wedding and those who will read it will be glad they did.

donsimo:
See, still didn't bring it. Again.

And here you go again acting a fool. Must feel great living in the world not having to use your brain a tad bit. Next time make your parents proud and pick your target well, you sh!t for brains.