₦airaland Forum

enabledgoddess:
I wonder why mother in laws are like that. My neighbour's mother in law almost killed her when she delivered. It was so bad that she even prepare the woman's bathing water, and wash her cloth and bath baby herself. The woman only put the baby at her back. My mother in law is nice , but she won't help with house chores either . I gently called my husband to psyche her not to come. My mother helped a great deal. When mum left mother in law said she wanted to come. I said mama don't worry I can bathe baby myself. She got the message and stayed back. Whenever she comes for weekend , men I'm dead. I cook and cook and cook. Mother in law shouldn't come for omugwo they tend to be lazy but want everything done for them


To be fair to her , my mother in law is nice to a fault,she isn't just good with chores so I do them. @ op do what you can do and leave what you can't .

ireneidiva:
Pot calling kettle black. See your own grammar.

Sleekbaby:
Sister I understand the area you are driving at but please stop complaining, some mum are like that, they have passed through lots of stress in their lives that they see omugwo as an avenue to go and rest.
My mum is like that too so do your normal house choirs as if she is not around. Complaining will lead to problem. May God strengthen you.

eyinjuege:
Employ someone that will help you do your chores, and let your husband allow his mother go back to her own home

bujebudanu1:
I'm just to tried for anything this night. I will reply some other day

Shugarlord213:
All you know is to give birth and give birth and expect everyone to be your slave

Carry your problem and stop complaining like a cow


And if we do DNA test in those kids , the truth will come out

KennyAyodeji:
Not everyday my hubby give helping hand cox of d nature of his job. But before my MIL cm arnd, my hubby can assist me more Dan now, even we can both came back from work, still be d 1 to cook cox of my condition, but since wen MIL is arnd, he don't do all dat again.
If I should give d baby to MIL, she will just hold d baby crying, saying stop crying, while not pampering, and I will be force to carry d baby and care for.

Is just dat u don't understand, HV fdup b4 I voice out. But tanx for d advice, I will look 4 maid or try myself.

bujebudanu1:
Well Your mother in law is not slave She might decide come and not come She came to take care of her grand child. I wouldnt tell my mum to sweep.cook.go to market as a man. Pls take care of your home and check for d grammars up there

Preetiex:
bros long time no see

Acidosis:
Your MIL shouldn't be cooking your meals ma'am. She raised her son, raise yours. She has only come to see and take care of her grand child. Stop expecting too much from the old woman.

As regards the comparison with your mom, it is completely baseless. Nobody can be like your mom, and stop expecting people to be or act like your mom. It is NOT possible.

Shugarlord213:
All you know is to give birth and give birth and expect everyone to be your slave

Carry your problem and stop complaining like a cow


And if we do DNA test in those kids , the truth will come out

Bellarod05:
Do you know I was once in your shoe?....Mil was deliberately making my home unbearable... I had to do all the cooking,wash my hubby cloth including my own the baby and even my MIL own,soon my husband brother joined us and he couldn't do anything too except wash his own cloth..I do all the house chores like Tommorrow no dey,
If am cooking and my baby cry,I will leave whatever am doing to breastfeed my baby,instead of me been taking care since it was just 5 days of childbirth I was the taking care of them...my husband understand and was trying to assist me but my MIL gave him some attitude that he is a sissy(woman wrapper)and my husband withdrew..
You know what I did.....I called my husband in the middle of the night and explain heart to heart discussion with him..I told him I need to start taking care of my baby and take care of myself too.he understood and told me he knows what to do..
To cut the long story short...I endure this for complete one month when I already knew my baby is stronger and jokingly Mil was trying to tease us she will be leaving...My husband gladly told her he will be dropping her off to the garage..I pretended I wasn't happy for her leaving but she said my hubby didn't want her maybe she was eating too much.
Believe me MIL Can eat more than 5 times and I have to do the Cooking,I was getting skinny my MIL was getting fat despite that she will still chose the food she want like. Iyawo( can I get amala with egusi soup? You know I ate rice in the morning)...Be patient with her because of her saying all sort of bad things about you if you give her attitude... At worst she might spend 6month with you guys..This is why most celebrities marriages don't last because they can't endure most of these things.....MY piece of advice.

ImaIma1:
Men!! I raise hand for you. You tried. I would have just carried my baby very early one morning and disappeared. My case was not that bad but not great.

I have learnt my lesson and for my 2nd, i will tell my MIL not to stress herself. I will go and stay with my sister and cross my leg and be taken care of. I can't do that stress again.

Oyindidi:
Very simple, tell her not to come when you deliver.

FortifiedCity:
See your crayfish mouth

Shugarlord213:
All you know is to give birth and give birth and expect everyone to be your slave

Carry your problem and stop complaining like a cow


And if we do DNA test in those kids , the truth will come out

Eketem:
I don't understand why people will keep having kids without being prepared for the responsibility.

You want an old woman to come and take care of your responsibilities because she is a grandma. How do women abroad whose mothers don't come for Omugwuo survive?

I refused any sort of Omugwuo, learned to bath my children myself and take care of them. I had a maid to help with house work anybody who came to visit just spent a week and left.


You cannot have a baby then depend on others to raise them.

Plan your life as if you and your husband are raising your kids alone

KennyAyodeji:
Pls, I don't no what to do, and I don't want to offend her non myself.

My mother in-law, do comes around after delivery, but she can't do anything for you as assistant, but it really painful, cox it reminds me of my late mother, that if I have a mother, all dis will not have happened to me.

When I have my 1st child when she came, all she will do is to tell me to arrange baby bath, then back her after bath, I will be d 1 to wash, cook, go to market even wen it not convenient, but am strong in my 1st child delivery.

In my 2nd delivery, its not convenient @all like 1st, cox am too weak, can't do most work, but I will still try, while she back d baby, and later lay her down and sleep beside her. My leg will be checking on ground, even my eyes blunt and weakness over d body joint, to d extend dat neighbor and friends told me am stressing myself too much dat I need rest...

I have to explained dis to my hubby, and my hubby called her to be doing dis and dat for me, but what my mother in-law use to do is, until u called her to do dis b4 she can do it, if u don't, she will leave it for u, and I can't be calling her to do any work except she pick it up herself. Even mid-9t, she slept while d baby and I is on vigil...

Now, I don't want to offend her, myself and my hubby(cox he help wen he's around, so caring in all area, even before he goes to work, he sweep everywhere, bath his 1st child sometimes. But if I tell him again, he will tell me to call her), but I don't no what to do Advice needed...

frozen70:
Overlook her she is not staying there for long or forever.
Endure whatever it is for peace to rain in your husband family.
If you attack her then be ready to face the rest members of your husband family expecially the women. Thank your God for the supportive husband that you have that's the most important of it all. Ask those that doesn't have a supportive husband the hell they are going through.

KennyAyodeji:
Thank you bros, it seem u understand me far better.

MIL was d one telling me not to worry, she will do like mother to me whenever she c me talking about my mother. She nos wats right from d wrong, I no what am saying. But most people here tot am just talking against her. Honestly, I tuk her as my mother, whatever I can give my mother I gv her, dats d only aspect I don't like about her, and dat does not stop my love towards her. But its always painful whenever she's doing dis... Tanx for ur understanding.

KennyAyodeji:
Thank you bros, it seem u understand me far better.

MIL was d one telling me not to worry, she will do like mother to me whenever she c me talking about my mother. She nos wats right from d wrong, I no what am saying. But most people here tot am just talking against her. Honestly, I tuk her as my mother, whatever I can give my mother I gv her, dats d only aspect I don't like about her, and dat does not stop my love towards her. But its always painful whenever she's doing dis... Tanx for ur understanding.

KennyAyodeji:
Not everyday my hubby give helping hand cox of d nature of his job. But before my MIL cm arnd, my hubby can assist me more Dan now, even we can both came back from work, still be d 1 to cook cox of my condition, but since wen MIL is arnd, he don't do all dat again.
If I should give d baby to MIL, she will just hold d baby crying, saying stop crying, while not pampering, and I will be force to carry d baby and care for.

Is just dat u don't understand, HV fdup b4 I voice out. But tanx for d advice, I will look 4 maid or try myself.

KennyAyodeji:
Don't just comment, read and understand. u don't no who u r charting with sometime. Must u comment? Who told u is not plan for? Nonsense...

Acidosis:
Your MIL shouldn't be cooking your meals ma'am. She raised her son, raise yours. She has only come to see and take care of her grand child. Stop expecting too much from the old woman.

As regards the comparison with your mom, it is completely baseless. Nobody can be like your mom, and stop expecting people to be or act like your mom. It is NOT possible.

MumD:
I was once in that situation, funny enough I did not take it to be a serious ish. My mum does not like to carry babies even her grandchildren but will spoil them silly with gifts, MIL behaves classic n will not carry children in the right position. u see, I have to be strong n do my things jejely. but hubby suffered it sha, cos he will come back from office n continue from where I stopped. Lastly, I tell myself what if am in a country where I don't know anyone, won't I take care of my how n kids? please answer that sincerely n free ur mind.

Eketem:
Keep being nasty. Nobody asked you to have a baby