Personally, I don't believe it is moral for the state to turn a blind eye to the quality of a child's upbringing, leaving him/her totally at the mercy of parents who might or might not be irresponsible, only to butt into that child's affairs when such a child turns out to be delinquent. If the state has values and morals, it owes a person a fair chance to get acquainted with those values before it has the moral right to punish a person for breaking the rules. But, if the state takes up a more controlling role in family life, we would be bordering on (if not embracing) totalitarianism, which is generally considered to be evil. So, unfortunately, we have to let parents raise their children the best way they know how; we can only pray they don't mess things up. I would suggest that parents should stand trial with their child who breaks the law, and share culpability if it cannot be established that they were not negligent in raising their child. That way, they can appreciate the gravity of their position as care-givers.

Having said that, I don't agree with your metrics for qualifying a dysfunctional family. A family works for a child if the child has food, clothing, shelter, education, health-care, LOVE, security, amongst other things; and it doesn't matter if these things are provided by one parent or two parents. A dysfunctional family (from a child's perspective) would be one where a child's well-being is compromised. Often, that is so where single parents are concerned; but not always. And often times too, a child is severely harmed by having two parents, who do not see eye to eye, under one roof. So, you cannot just assume a family is dysfunctional because there is divorce, separation, polygamy, or any other construct that isn't "father, mother, child"; social services would actually have to make house-calls to examine if the climate of the home is healthy or unhealthy for a child.

Organism000:


The problem is that you marriage ideologists choose to be married because your parents were married and you want your kids to be married because your parents married and you married and you want your kids to be married and kids who are not married are termed failures or not successful. That is the reasoning of programmed and mind controlled robots.

The woes in marriage is caused by these mind control organisations like religions, customary and traditional institutions that have become mind control apparati for programming of spirits.

Humans came into this world for some experiences and to be happy. If marriage makes you unhappy please move on and find new love and sex partners. Kids do not need your broken morals. Kids are born with better blueprints than the current indoctrinations.

Marriage is a scam built around love. Love is what you need and not marriage. If there is no love in marriage then move on and contribute to child support. If parents quarrel and fight you have nothing to teach the kids about marriage so don't be a hypocrite. Move on and let another people teach the kids better values.

ok ooo... SUCCESS in your endeavours

somehow:


Well your definition cant be a defintion sir. What you did was like explaining an opinion which can't be said to be a definition sir.

I believe you know why i said the above.

In school, we are asked to define, then explain.

You explained your opinion but no definition to reference.

In school? does here look like classroom to you? a family unit is a father, mother and kids then what? are they are really a unit in working? you seem more interested in cosmetic definitions than real issues.

NightHound:
Personally, I don't believe it is moral for the state to turn a blind eye to the quality of a child's upbringing, leaving him/her totally at the mercy of parents who might or might not be irresponsible, only to butt into that child's affairs when such a child turns out to be delinquent. If the state has values and morals, it owes a person a fair chance to get acquainted with those values before it has the moral right to punish a person for breaking the rules. But, if the state takes up a more controlling role in family life, we would be bordering on (if not embracing) totalitarianism, which is generally accepted as evil. So, unfortunately, we have to let parents raise their children the best way they know how; we can only pray they don't mess things up. I would suggest that parents should stand trial with their child who breaks the law, and share culpability if it cannot be established that they were not negligent in raising their child. That way, they can appreciate the gravity of their position as care-givers.

Having said that, I don't agree with your metrics for qualifying a dysfunctional family. A family works for a child if the child has food, clothing, shelter, education, health-care, LOVE, security, amongst other things; and it doesn't matter if these things are provided by one parent or two parents. A dysfunctional family (from a child's perspective) would be one where a child's well-being is compromised. Often, that is so where single parents are concerned; but not always. And often times too, a child is severely harmed by having two parents, who do not see eye to eye, under one roof. So, you cannot just assume a family is dysfunctional because there is divorce, separation, polygamy, or any other construct that isn't "father, mother, child"; social services would actually have to make house-calls to examine if the climate of the home is healthy or unhealthy for a child.

Your points are just spot on, many folks here tie having a functional family to just the parents and kids being there, I been trying hard to explain this.

sanpipita:
My take here is there's nothing dysfunctional abt baby mamas or baby daddies, we are in a age people have different ways to living and you can totally call it dysfunctional at least if it works for them, as long as these kids are taken care of, I don't see the issue.

But is it working though, I mean honestly?

Let's use the United States as a case study here, I would have preferred using Nigeria but it's hard getting reliable statistics on anything.
In the US, the ethnic group with the highest number of children born out of wedlock are black Americans. Do you think it is a coincidence that the highest levels of crime and violence exist within the same black community?

That's not all - educational excellence is also lowest among black Americans. Billionaires of black American ancestry, also the lowest. Median household income in the US, also the lowest in the black community.

As a matter of fact, Blacks almost always lead the pack when it comes to negative stats and are usually at the bottom rung of the ladder when it comes to positive stats, ranking even lower than Mexicans.

What do you think the common denominator is here? Please don't say racism.

crackhaus:

But is it working though, I mean honestly?

Let's use the United States as a case study here, I would have preferred using Nigeria but it's hard getting reliable statistics on anything.
In the US, the ethnic group with the highest number of children born out of wedlock are black Americans. Do you think it is a coincidence that the highest levels of crime and violence exist within the same black community?

That's not all - educational excellence is also lowest among black Americans. Billionaires of black American ancestry, also the lowest. Median household income in the US, also the lowest in the black community.

As a matter of fact, Blacks almost always lead the pack when it comes to negative stats and are usually at the bottom rung of the ladder when it comes to positive stats, ranking even lower than Mexicans.

What do you think the common denominator is here? Please don't say racism.

Black Americans have always had a long history of crime in US you can't totally blame it on single parenting, drugs and violence will happen anywhere youth get access to drugs and weapons, bet you know america got gun issues, now let me bring you down to Nigeria what's our single parenting rates isn't it low at least of this age, if I use your logic crimes we witness in Nigeria is caused by having a family unit cos you can't say single parenting rates are high here.

alignacademy:
We keep seeing new headlines of "baby mamas" and "baby kids". And it's easy to glamorize it.

But do we think of the kind of future we're preparing for the next generation?

How will these "baby-mama-kids" cope with life's issues when they're being raised by essentially immature adults looking out for their own pleasure?

What kind of society values would we have in the future? Would we value personal responsibility and self discipline?

This isn't about being preach-y, or someone telling you how to live your life

It's about realizing your life isn't lived in a vacuum: what you do affects the lives of others in ways you may not even know.

Just think: where would you be if your grandfather had died when he was a baby?

You have a responsibility to live the best life you can. There are people who are depending on you for that.

Thank you

in my own opinion. the generation that raised this generation emphasizes more on the female child.

they were trained to be better mother and how to keep a home why they neglected the male counterpart. he feels he has no homely responsibilties. and fails to realize that he can't behave like his grandfather once did.

on the other hand. the social media and those using it to broadcast have little or nothing to offer. so it gives a quasi lifestyle to adopt.

nowadays if you have a girlfriend and you can't give her head you're in for trouble

Times are changing, morals are gradually fading,we copy too much from the west but looking at it from another angle the government isn't helping matters in providing the basic amenities having a child out of wedlock for some ladies is more like an employment opportunity while for the men its just a way for them to continue living life without pressure and close supervision. Then again the media plays an important role too as these sets of people (baby mama's and papa's) are presented to the public as the ideal go getters. Courtship is an important stage where most people miss the signs mostly because of sex and money, if it's not working, its not working no need to manage. But in all some of these kids turn out right just like kids raised by both parents.

Organism000:


The problem is that you marriage ideologists choose to be married because your parents were married and you want your kids to be married because your parents married and you married and you want your kids to be married and kids who are not married are termed failures or not successful. That is the reasoning of programmed and mind controlled robots.

The woes in marriage is caused by these mind control organisations like religions, customary and traditional institutions that have become mind control apparati for programming of spirits.

Humans came into this world for some experiences and to be happy. If marriage makes you unhappy please move on and find new love and sex partners. Kids do not need your broken morals. Kids are born with better blueprints than the current indoctrinations.

Marriage is a scam built around love. Love is what you need and not marriage. If there is no love in marriage then move on and contribute to child support. If parents quarrel and fight you have nothing to teach the kids about marriage so don't be a hypocrite. Move on and let another people teach the kids better values.

So what happens to kids from broken families? Do kids also have the blueprint to just take it in their stride? How many people can afford to or willing to take care of kids they had with a partner they have already broken up with?

Shouldn't people be responsible and be careful about having kids with someone they are not sure of coping with?

First thing what is even love in a society like Nigeria? Can we equate romantic love in USA or Sweden with what obtains in Nigeria? Even in those Western societies with a longer history of romantic love leading to marriage, divorce rate is around 50%. So it ain't working brilliantly either.

Marriages worked better across the world when it was based of responsibility/role play than when romance took over. In Europe, husbands chose a wife based on dowry the bride's father will give him. In parts of Asia too. In Africa, the bride's father received a bride-price instead, varying in value according to local culture/ethnic group. We could argue that maybe most marriages weren't happy back then. But they had a cohesive society.
Now that we have the choice to marry whoever we "love" and can walk away if unhappy, divorce rate is through the roof.

Baby mama/papa system is an inherently less stable relationship as both families of man & woman are not necessarily involved in the agreement, if at all there is one.

Surely culture and society evolves and we must accept and cope with new realities. Including kids out of wedlock. Sadly our society is ill-prepared to pick up the pieces, something even developed societies are struggling with.

So how do we cope? Without the network support of extended family. First is to reduce number of kids we have, whether within or without wedlock. Kids are not a trophy. Have kids if you're REALLY ready for it. Our politicians are not ready to help, so no need talking to them.

KanwuliaExtra:


Like I stated earlier.

You feel there are problems.
Abi you need money to start an NGO?
You keep writing “we” here and “we” there.
I nor join o.

Please, offer solutions. Na you see problems abi?
Thanks.

your level of stupidity amazes me ..... Must you type ?? If you don't have anything to say scroll down or move to the next topic. I have met so many dumb people in my life so I just look at people like you and laugh.... I don't blame you you have a phone and internet subscription on it.

Organism000:


Love is nothing more than a fleeting emotion, just like anger and every other aspects of feelings and should not be taken seriously apart from utilizing it for the magic of activating the energy centers and raising consciousness. Those of you who mis-inteprete what love is, are the heart broken ones who fall in love for the pusssy and get scammed of your pennies. I know what Love is, and I feel it in my heart, but when love is trying to make me fucck up, I throw the love away and use my brain anytime. So, learn from the masters.

Animals do not have one mate for life, I have no idea if you have any knowledge of the animal kingdom. But I can assure you that no animal keep a single love partner for a life-time except they are imprisoned in a cage, cell or controlled habitat and deprived of their freedom of choice of sex mates.

You have a rather naive definition of what I term child-support, to equate Child support to abandoning a child shows that there is a greater level of dysfunction of your understanding of this subject than I thought. If both parents contribute financially and otherwise to the up keep of the children while they take turns as custodians of the children, does that equate to abandonment in your understanding of life ?

Now, make sure you understand what Love is, and what lust means, then differentiate Child Support from Abandonment then you will figure out what a child really needs. Because no child can grow psychologically balanced in at atmosphere of parently discord and in-fighting. It is better for the parents to divorce when there is no more love and not waste the opportunties to be loved because of 'children', in which case the kids themselves grow up to dysfunctional because of being raised in love-less homes.

Victims are mostly victims of these wild men and I advise women to move on with their lives if the men become toxic and men should also move on if their wives become toxic and each person should find a loving partner to enjoy great sex lives while negotiating on up keeps and maintaining cordial friendships.

No need to die cos you wanna stay married.

Sir do u live in Nigeria?
I'm sorry if i sound off topic,pls forgive me
I've been following ur comments and i must confess,I have picked one or two points.

Chubhie:

Until we take the evil of poverty out of the people and create an ideal environment for civilized humans, I see no lasting solution.

We must at least provide our people with the basic things of life. food clothing and shelter.

I have said this thing on nairaland times without number... Our problem in Nigeria are the basic things of life. All this celebrities or governors riding on social madness and inviting a boy called Taju just to get attention or is it kokun foundation that keeps giving out money ... Thinking he is solving a problem .. No ..... After giving out the money what next But is it that the government does not know about this There will be riot , anger , hatred , breaking of the rule of law , stealing on a high level if the basic needs of life are absent.... If we can solve that problem. Nigeria will be great because we are happy and hardworking people

sanpipita:


In school? does here look like classroom to you? a family unit is a father, mother and kids then what? are they are really a unit in working? you seem more interested in cosmetic definitions than real issues.

Well now that you have defined what you know as a family unit. Now lets talk about their roles (by nature/default) to see why a complete family unit can never be substituted for anything else. Once one part is missing, it becomes dysfunctional.

Do you have a contrary opinion?

clemmonce:
your level of stupidity amazes me ..... Must you type ?? If you don't have anything to say scroll down or move to the next topic. I have met so many dumb people in my life so I just look at people like you and laugh.... I don't blame you you have a phone and internet subscription on it.

Tank you!

*feeling really sleepy after a big lunch*

*belches*

somehow:


Well now that you have defined what you know as a family unit. Now lets talk about their roles (by nature/default) to see why a complete family unit can never be substituted for anything else. Once one part is missing, it becomes dysfunctional.

Do you have a contrary opinion?

So till a part get substituted you will realize a family is dysfunctional? you are invariably saying any FAM with parents and kids is a functional family, try define dysfunctional for yourself again, you are just focused on mere comestic words

zakari247:
cheap fools like these want food put to their mouth after been served. that Mr the had told you about a problem in our society today which is not normal, and the solution to that teenager is your conscience, your morality to understand that you are in the society too which in one way or the other you will be affected. the solution is condemning the awful, and telling people especially yourself that your action has an impact to the lives of other people. so grow a little bit mature when you criticize people even as you have nothing to offer and perhaps you're one of those that has impregnated a little girl whom had born a bastard with an irresponsible father whom could bear sustain himself or guide himself morally, how can such a pig ever raise a human with full senses

Instead of concentrating on me, why not help OP


I have nothing to offer, so don’t keep seeking my attention by quoting me back to this theead.

Thanks.

AreaFada2:


So what happens to kids from broken families? Do kids also have the blueprint to just take it in their stride? How many people can afford to or willing to take care of kids they had with a partner they have already broken up with?

Shouldn't people be responsible and be careful about having kids with someone they are not sure of coping with?

First thing what is even love in a society like Nigeria? Can we equate romantic love in USA or Sweden with what obtains in Nigeria? Even in those Western societies with a longer history of romantic love leading to marriage, divorce rate is around 50%. So it ain't working brilliantly either.

Marriages worked better across the world when it was based of responsibility/role play than when romance took over. In Europe, husbands chose a wife based on dowry the bride's father will give him. In parts of Asia too. In Africa, the bride's father received a bride-price instead, varying in value according to local culture/ethnic group. We could argue that maybe most marriages weren't happy back then. But they had a cohesive society.
Now that we have the choice to marry whoever we "love" and can walk away if unhappy, divorce rate is through the roof.

Baby mama/papa system is an inherently less stable relationship as both families of man & woman are not necessarily involved in the agreement, if at all there is one.

Surely culture and society evolves and we must accept and cope with new realities. Including kids out of wedlock. Sadly our society is ill-prepared to pick up the pieces, something even developed societies are struggling with.

So how do we cope? Without the network support of extended family. First is to reduce number of kids we have, whether within or without wedlock. Kids are not a trophy. Have kids if you're REALLY ready for it. Our politicians are not ready to help, so no need talking to them.

You have asked so many sincere questions and I will respond amicably hoping the response I provide will be helpful to someone out there who is in a dilemma of some sort.

You have mentioned the variant in customary and traditional norms as well as expectations of pre-marital rites of marriage and the responsibilities in diverse strata of human habitats.

If marriage was nature's programmed institution with organic structures, then there would have been a natural blueprint via which all marriages among all Humans on Earth would have followed. Let me re-phrase that to make my point clear. If marriage was ordained by Nature, there would have been organic blueprint of how 'Humans MUST go about marriage' by the Nature, just like Humans have peculiar ways of having sexx, drinking water, singing songs, dancing to rhythms and even urinating and going to the toilet.

If you study the history of Humans from the pre-nephilim era, you will acknowledge how far humans have gone, from era where women were taken as spoils of war, through the time women were traded as sexx slaves, to the time strong men can own as many women as they like and even take from the weak men. In the era of our grand parents, men could afford to marry as many women as possible, so it was always a mater of war and discord, which is why the traditions and religions decided that it was necessary to introduce order. So marriage was invented as a control measure to ensure that the women are 'owned'.

It is really disgusting to read that women are owned, and we can disprove it for all we can, but the truth is that women are expected to change their names, from their parent's to their husband, this is nothing more than 'Change of Title' to the 'New Owner'. Women became commodities to be traded between families to the point that some women were used to pay debts by certain families and they dare not say 'no' to their parents decision. That trend continues to this day, in the North where parents betroth their daughters at tender age of 1 to 5 to a man within a certain family for marriage even though these kids are yet to understand what marriage is.

In the Eastern part of the country, daughters are commodities to be exchanged with wealth from rich suitors and if you do not have cash, you dare not try to marry from a rich family. The Politicians intermarry because they use their kids to grow the bond of political friend.

The above has led to so much unhappiness. Now, let us go back to where we lost in nature.

Humans have forgotten that their body is that of an animal, who was designed by the Gods, but the SPirit of Creator as well as the Octopus rides their consciousness. So it is time for us to ponder on the ways of Spirit.

What is really important in marriage ? Love.
If there is no Love in marriage, should one continue to be in marriage ? No
What about the kids ? As long as the parents are not in love, the kids will not feel love, so their sub-conscious mind will program the disaffection, so the best thing is that both parents must sit their kids down and explain to them what love is and why they love them very much and will like to rotate custody while providing the resources for the kids to grow in love of different parents. So, after these, both parents can choose which kid spends time with which parent at a particular time.

Never should we allow the fact that we have fallen out of love with our partner affect our kids because we want to obey the commandment of Gods. Tell such God, that you are no longer interested in being unhappy, if such God think it is easy, let that God come down to 3rd Density and live as humans and try marrying, make we check if khaki na leather.

The problem in this continent is that we worship the Gods because we are afraid of them, and we are afraid of them because we do not know them. When you know what the Gods are, you will understand how important you are for them, and the Gods have no choice than to help you experience better lives.

I know the Gods, and I tell them what I want, and what I need them to do, and I do not worship them at all. The Gods are our friends. If you know the Gods, you will never live unhappy lives devoid of Love.

I love totally, but when the love is over, we negotiate and if need be, every one move on, cos Love is the sweetest thing and nothing should stop one from loving, not even the kids. Cos kids will be more proud of us, if we teach them how to love and how to move on when they feel unloved.

Thanks for asking.

KanwuliaExtra:


There are some situations that are not in YOUR control. How do you deal with matters you can’t control?

You talk about “personal responsibility”!
Well there! How do YOU talk about personal responsibility for situations that are not YOURS?

Do you have the resources or authority to deal with matters that concern others?

If you set up an NGO, and advertise your concerns, goals and preferred solutions to those CONCERNED. . . . you may have some luck.
Is your audience on NL?

Till then, you are just writing for the sake of writing.

No! I nor join o. Not my gaddem BIZZ!

I don't think you actually read through the lines op drew critically. "Personal Responsibility!" That was his strong word. He did not make mention of NGO's. Think about it, if each of us decided to be responsible, for our decisions, our action and the care of those under our wings, we would be heading somewhere.

Just for note, there are so many NGO's right now but they don't really make positive changes. I believe -just like the op- in personal development, it will lead us well.
Thanks OP for bringing this topic up, it is the begining of responsibility indeed.

Thanks.

dosh16:



I don't think you actually read through the lines op drew critically. "Personal Responsibility!" That was his strong word. He did not make mention of NGO's. Think about it, if each of us decided to be responsible, for our decisions, our action and the care of those under our wings, we would be heading somewhere.

Just for note, there are so many NGO's right now but they don't really make positive changes. I believe -just like the op- in personal development, it will lead us well.
Thanks OP for bringing this topic up, it is the begining of responsibility indeed.

Thanks.

Please, go and die jor.
What do you have to offer?
Only miserable peeps will leave their own problems to “pretend” they want to help others.


Nigeria is losing to ARG. Go and help them pack and come back home if you are jobless.

Organism000:



You have asked so many sincere questions and I will respond amicably hoping the response I provide will be helpful to someone out there who is in a dilemma of some sort.

You have mentioned the variant in customary and traditional norms as well as expectations of pre-marital rites of marriage and the responsibilities in diverse strata of human habitats.

If marriage was nature's programmed institution with organic structures, then there would have been a natural blueprint via which all marriages among all Humans on Earth would have followed. Let me re-phrase that to make my point clear. If marriage was ordained by Nature, there would have been organic blueprint of how 'Humans MUST go about marriage' by the Nature, just like Humans have peculiar ways of having sexx, drinking water, singing songs, dancing to rhythms and even urinating and going to the toilet.

If you study the history of Humans from the pre-nephilim era, you will acknowledge how far humans have gone, from era where women were taken as spoils of war, through the time women were traded as sexx slaves, to the time strong men can own as many women as they like and even take from the weak men. In the era of our grand parents, men could afford to marry as many women as possible, so it was always a mater of war and discord, which is why the traditions and religions decided that it was necessary to introduce order. So marriage was invented as a control measure to ensure that the women are 'owned'.

It is really disgusting to read that women are owned, and we can disprove it for all we can, but the truth is that women are expected to change their names, from their parent's to their husband, this is nothing more than 'Change of Title' to the 'New Owner'. Women became commodities to be traded between families to the point that some women were used to pay debts by certain families and they dare not say 'no' to their parents decision. That trend continues to this day, in the North where parents betroth their daughters at tender age of 1 to 5 to a man within a certain family for marriage even though these kids are yet to understand what marriage is.

In the Eastern part of the country, daughters are commodities to be exchanged with wealth from rich suitors and if you do not have cash, you dare not try to marry from a rich family. The Politicians intermarry because they use their kids to grow the bond of political friend.

The above has led to so much unhappiness. Now, let us go back to where we lost in nature.

Humans have forgotten that their body is that of an animal, who was designed by the Gods, but the SPirit of Creator as well as the Octopus rides their consciousness. So it is time for us to ponder on the ways of Spirit.

What is really important in marriage ? Love.
If there is no Love in marriage, should one continue to be in marriage ? No
What about the kids ? As long as the parents are not in love, the kids will not feel love, so their sub-conscious mind will program the disaffection, so the best thing is that both parents must sit their kids down and explain to them what love is and why they love them very much and will like to rotate custody while providing the resources for the kids to grow in love of different parents. So, after these, both parents can choose which kid spends time with which parent at a particular time.

Never should we allow the fact that we have fallen out of love with our partner affect our kids because we want to obey the commandment of Gods. Tell such God, that you are no longer interested in being unhappy, if such God think it is easy, let that God come down to 3rd Density and live as humans and try marrying, make we check if khaki na leather.

The problem in this continent is that we worship the Gods because we are afraid of them, and we are afraid of them because we do not know them. When you know what the Gods are, you will understand how important you for them, and the Gods have no choice than to help you experience better lives.

I know the Gods, and I tell them what I want, and what I need them to do, and I do not worship them at all. The Gods are our friends. If you know the Gods, you will never live unhappy lives devoid of Love.

I love totally, but when the love is over, we negotiate and if need be, every one move on, cos Love is the sweetest thing and nothing should stop one from loving, not even the kids. Cos kids will be more proud of us, if we teach them how to love and how to move on when they feel unloved.

Thanks for asking.

You have spoken well!

Kendrick80:

Sir do u live in Nigeria?
I'm sorry if i sound off topic,pls forgive me
I've been following ur comments and i must confess,I have picked one or two points.

I was born a Nigerian and I live in Lekki, Lagos, Nigeria.

donb06:
definitely not ur bizz until you become a victim of one of these children raised this way.... then YOUR GOD will remind when u said its non of ur BIZZ

Una nor get work o.
Lazy agbayas of NL!
Na baby mammas born Fulani Herdsmen?

somehow:


Babymamas and children with no parents are everywhere in the western world especially THE USA. can you say this came about because of poverty?

Poverty is not the reason for this attitude, it has more to do with morale breakdown, lack of effective education in social and personal responsibility.

Every decision i take now will surely affect the society at large.

Perhaps, Poverty of the mind

“ Dysfunctional families “ but you pounced on baby mamas ! Change your title to reflect your bigotry abeg !

MarieSucre:


Lol that is your problem? Uncle you don't have any problem jare just looking to kill other people's joy.

Aunty, I try to give joy.

blazer2018:
Immediately i saw the topic, i knew pple will come for d OP's head...

Naturally it does look as if its not d OP's biz...yes its not his biz but it becomes our collective problem and biz when we begin to feel d ripple effect...because when we have too many dysfunctional homes in d society it will surely have domino effect on d country as a whole

The Yorubas will say 'inu ile to n toro, omo ale ibe ni o ti dagba'...meaning 'a house that is peaceful is due to d fact that d bastard in d house have not come of age'...

So 4 all d baby mamas and papas condemning him, e binu (make una no vex)... it's 4 our collective good

Note:Not all those that come from dysfunctional homes constitute nuisance to d society, but they contribute d highest percentage to it.

Every family has it's own degree of dysfunction.

Organism000:


I was born a Nigerian and I live in Lekki, Lagos, Nigeria.

That's good to know...I'm impressed by the way u handled urself throughout this thread.
Most of the comments up there are one directional(Imo),ur views abt love/marriage and others got me curious.
I feel when the kids start coming the focus should be on them regardless differences btw d parents(either single parenting or married)
Thanks for sharing

Kendrick80:

That's good to know...I'm impressed by the way u handled urself throughout this thread.
Most of the comments up there are one directional(Imo),ur views abt love/marriage and others got me curious.
I feel when the kids start coming the focus should be on them regardless differences btw d parents(either single parenting or married)
Thanks for sharing

Yes, the focus should be the kids, so living together as 'married' but loveless couple does not foster such love, because of usual acrimony prevalent in love-less marriages. But parents are not sacrificial lambs in the context of marriage, parents must enjoy love, so it is better to sit down amicably and draw up a plan of action on Child Support and then separate amicably and the kids will choose which parents to be with and there after rotate it every 6 months or agreed time-table. Such kids will grow up with better love and understanding than the ones raised in the atmosphere of chaos.

Let us note that if we truly love our partners, we must set them free, to enjoy their fantasies if we can not meet up with their expectation of fantasy. Tactically holding some one else hostage or self using the instrumentality of religions, customs and traditions or what the neighbours might say, is against natural design and causes stress on the body, mind and spirit as well as chaos in the society.

Love is Freedom to experience our world, marriage should not restrict freedom of fulfilling our fantasies.

Chubhie:
I'm worried for this age where women are licensed to bare it all in the name of baby showers or whatever name they call it.

I concur

Organism000:


But I can assure you that no animal keep a single love partner for a life-time.

Google is your friend.



Some animals keep a single love partner for a life-time.

eg. Wolves

Pepsi101:

Google is your friend.



Some animals keep a single love partner for a life-time.

Reminds me when I used to keep pigeons. Such dedicated lovers. They taught me a lot!

Chubhie:

Reminds me when I used to keep pigeons. Such dedicated lovers. They taught me a lot!

You're very observant



Pigeons are a good example of dedicated lovers