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Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That - Family - Nairaland

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Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by Kelvin30286063(m): 12:03pm On Mar 09, 2020
I just feel like I should drop a piece of my mind here and have people's opinions about how my family is. I don't dig into other people's family so I wonder if that's how it is in every family too.

I come from a family of proud people.
Everyone just sees themselves as kings and Queens. Which is totally acceptable cuz our parents raised us to see ourselves as being above every other people.
Don't know if that's the right way to raise a child but it sure isn't a bad way so I won't question it.
But what I'll question is how much we mean to each other.
What we all represent in each other's lives is just what we represent.
My sister needs a phone, she calls me, once she gets her phone, she's gone.
My purpose is served until next time.
It's funny, I have a blood sister that hasn't called me in 3 months.
Had to call her last month cuz I wasn't sure how she's doing.
They don't support what I do nor do they even encourage me on anything. Yes my mom calls me all the time, we talk and she wants to know how myself and my wife are doing. She's my mom, she's the most caring woman in the world so I know her for that but apart from her, every other member of my family are nothing to write home about when it comes to care and support.

I'm doing well on my own, I have my own company and I don't need financial assistance from any of them but a little support will not be bad.
Let me give an example... 2 years ago I started a social media platform called Zealnut. I started advertising the website and application everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, YouTube... I got a lot of members and the platform is going great. But I'm not happy cuz everyday I get a new notification that someone just registered on my app, I hoped its either one of my sisters or brother but no... Yet they all use big phones, Iphones, Samsung, my kid sister in the university just bought the latest infinix thanks to me.
Yet they don't support anything I do.
My company (An ICT company) has a lot of apps on Playstore and apple store and these apps are 100% to download and use, I have thousands of people using some of my apps but.l I'm pretty sure none of my siblings even use any of those apps.
Yet they call me for money every other day.

My question is, are siblings like this in every family or just mine that is dysfunctional?

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Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by Vyolet(f): 12:16pm On Mar 09, 2020
You think you are doing me, you are doing yourself.
I just checked the zealnut, yeah your advert paid off. undecided

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by Kelvin30286063(m): 12:28pm On Mar 09, 2020
Vyolet:
You think you are doing me, you are doing yourself.
I just checked the zealnut, yeah your advert paid off. undecided
What's wrong with this one? Is that what the post is about? Funny, you didn't even register on Zealnut yet you concluded my advert didn't pay off. Oponu

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by Nobody: 12:46pm On Mar 09, 2020
Your situation is common in most homes.

5 Likes

Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by LordKO(m): 1:14pm On Mar 09, 2020
Not all families are like yours; your parents inculcated a very bad psychological value into you the offspring. Unfortunately whatever that affects the psychological profile automatically affects the moral and emotional profiles too but not necessarily in equal and proportional measures.

It's very bad of them to make you (the offspring) believe that you're above every other person out there; by so doing they made you to become conceited - conceit breeds false confidence. Conceit remains God's gift to small-minded people.

And like I said above, whatever that affects the psychological profile automatically affects the moral and emotional profiles too. So it's the conceited attitude in you the offspring that breeds egoism (self-interest) in you all too, thus the abnormal interpersonal relationship that exists among you (the offspring), where carefree and too clever by half (shenanigans) attitude is the order of the day.

Parents shouldn't make their offspring/wards to believe that they're above others out there instead they should make them know that they can be the best that can be out there if they work towards the good things and, of course, guide them humanely and meekly towards realizing the good things.

Genuine confidence comes from the place of real (intangible and inestimable) values - meekness/politeness and selflessness/humaneness are the major hallmark of a genuine confident person.

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by Kelvin30286063(m): 2:14pm On Mar 09, 2020
cruxgemmata:
Your situation is common in most homes.
That picture says it all
Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by ahnie: 2:24pm On Mar 09, 2020
Family with benefits

1 Like

Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by drnoel: 2:31pm On Mar 09, 2020
Kelvin30286063:
I just feel like I should drop a piece of my mind here and have people's opinions about how my family is. I don't dig into other people's family so I wonder if that's how it is in every family too.

I come from a family of proud people.
Everyone just sees themselves as kings and Queens. Which is totally acceptable cuz our parents raised us to see ourselves as being above every other people.
Don't know if that's the right way to raise a child but it sure isn't a bad way so I won't question it.
But what I'll question is how much we mean to each other.
What we all represent in each other's lives is just what we represent.
My sister needs a phone, she calls me, once she gets her phone, she's gone.
My purpose is served until next time.
It's funny, I have a blood sister that hasn't called me in 3 months.
Had to call her last month cuz I wasn't sure how she's doing.
They don't support what I do nor do they even encourage me on anything. Yes my mom calls me all the time, we talk and she wants to know how myself and my wife are doing. She's my mom, she's the most caring woman in the world so I know her for that but apart from her, every other member of my family are nothing to write home about when it comes to care and support.

I'm doing well on my own, I have my own company and I don't need financial assistance from any of them but a little support will not be bad.
Let me give an example... 2 years ago I started a social media platform called Zealnut. I started advertising the website and application everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, YouTube... I got a lot of members and the platform is going great. But I'm not happy cuz everyday I get a new notification that someone just registered on my app, I hoped its either one of my sisters or brother but no... Yet they all use big phones, Iphones, Samsung, my kid sister in the university just bought the latest infinix thanks to me.
Yet they don't support anything I do.
My company (An ICT company) has a lot of apps on Playstore and apple store and these apps are 100% to download and use, I have thousands of people using some of my apps but.l I'm pretty sure none of my siblings even use any of those apps.
Yet they call me for money every other day.

My question is, are siblings like this in every family or just mine that is dysfunctional?

Get inline bro, more than 50% of Nigerian families are like that. I don't have statistics to support claims but hear it every weekend over bier with friends and acquaintances.
Anyways what do I know?
Hold head high, do what u can for family. That is my motto..
Note I said "do what u can".
Cos I never put my head out to over task myself over what I can't. The reason is that they won't care how much pain I have to go thru to accomplish what I can't do for them so I don't bother doing so anymore.
All in all remain on friendly terms, be nice and respectful. They are family so one can't throw them away.
Cheers
Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by ezugegere(m): 2:50pm On Mar 09, 2020
My family is not like that. In my family we can die for one another. I once stayed with my younger sister for four months in an hospital. Unfortunately I lost her. I knew she would do more than that for me. Your parents didn't train you well.

5 Likes

Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by Kelvin30286063(m): 4:16pm On Mar 09, 2020
ezugegere:
My family is not like that. In my family we can die for one another. I once stayed with my younger sister for four months in an hospital. Unfortunately I lost her. I knew she would do more than that for me. Your parents didn't train you well.
My parents did. The fact that my siblings don't support each other doesn't mean my parents didn't do their best to make sure of that. Yiu don't jump into concluding that people are bad parents just because their kids are bad kids. And it's insultive for you to make that stupid last statement. So just because your siblings love each other means your parents trained you all well. Lol. Including that one that you are worried might end up in jail? You know the one I'm talking about. There is always one in every family.
Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by Nobody: 4:44pm On Mar 09, 2020
I wouldn't really say dysfunctional, maybe that's the way your sister is wired.

I for one I dont know how to call someone, whether for a need or just to greet and if you call me, when I'm in the mood i pick if not duh. But that doesn't mean i don't love or care for them or when they need my help i won't render any, that's just me and my whole family understand.

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Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by elektra(f): 4:51pm On Mar 09, 2020
You, are you supporting them?
You did not mention how often you call your siblings. The sister you have not spoken to in 3 months, why did you wait 3 months before calling her?

1 Like

Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by ezugegere(m): 5:08pm On Mar 09, 2020
Kelvin30286063:

My parents did. The fact that my siblings don't support each other doesn't mean my parents didn't do their best to make sure of that. Yiu don't jump into concluding that people are bad parents just because their kids are bad kids. And it's insultive for you to make that stupid last statement. So just because your siblings love each other means your parents trained you all well. Lol. Including that one that you are worried might end up in jail? You know the one I'm talking about. There is always one in every family.

Might end up in jail? Not in my family! However, sorry if you feel insulted anyway
Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by Kelvin30286063(m): 5:58pm On Mar 09, 2020
elektra:
You, are you supporting them?
You did not mention how often you call your siblings. The sister you have not spoken to in 3 months, why did you wait 3 months before calling her?
I always do my best to keep in touch with them but I believe I shouldn't be the one calling my younger ones all the time cuz I have a family and a company to run. The truth is, it's not like they don't talk to me. The problem is they only remember I exist when they need something.
The particular sister I said I didn't speak to for 3 months is a model in Abuja, against all odds, I supported her choice of career. Even though my parents never wanted her to be a model considering she studied biochemistry at Uniabuja but I stood for her and spoke to them to let her be. I even hired her a few weeks ago to be the face of a banner we are making and I paid her exactly what she charges without bargaining.
To be fair, she once got me a project in Abuja with her little connection but the person didn't eventually do the job.
If she needs a new phone tomorrow or she needs a new laptop, she will drop a HI on my whatsapp. Sometimes when I see their message, I just want to jump to the part where they ask me for something.

3 Likes

Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by Tripitaka: 7:07pm On Mar 09, 2020
Your family isn't atypical. These things happen in your average Nigerian homes especially in this age and time where the internet has inculcated in us the belief that you don't owe your parents anything, you are not your parents pension plan, your child must leave home when they turn 18, you do not owe your siblings anything (even emotional support) and all other nonsense I see on this site on a daily, although I must admit that the propagators of this school of thought do not live it, but just want to sound woke.

Gradually, these erroneous beilefs have weakened the base of familyhood. People now see their family members as lifelong roommates whom they can easily cut ties with when they "relocate". They only call upon these "roommates" when there is a reason (in your case, at times of need) or congregate when only it's inevitable.

Toxic feminism (the type you see on nairaland) has played a huge role too whereby the patriarch is gradually losing his position of preeminence in the family. Forgetting that the role of such patriarch goes far beyond providing and protecting but acting as a symbol of unity.

At your age, I'm afraid the harm has already been done. It's an uphill task trying to bring together adults who have been wired by design to steer clear of one another's life. This may be an unpopular opimion, but the Only thing that can make you and your siblings take solace in one another's arms again is the demise of a loved one

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Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by frozen70(f): 7:30am On Mar 10, 2020
Kelvin30286063:
I just feel like I should drop a piece of my mind here and have people's opinions about how my family is. I don't dig into other people's family so I wonder if that's how it is in every family too.

I come from a family of proud people.
Everyone just sees themselves as kings and Queens. Which is totally acceptable cuz our parents raised us to see ourselves as being above every other people.
Don't know if that's the right way to raise a child but it sure isn't a bad way so I won't question it.
But what I'll question is how much we mean to each other.
What we all represent in each other's lives is just what we represent.
My sister needs a phone, she calls me, once she gets her phone, she's gone.
My purpose is served until next time.
It's funny, I have a blood sister that hasn't called me in 3 months.
Had to call her last month cuz I wasn't sure how she's doing.
They don't support what I do nor do they even encourage me on anything. Yes my mom calls me all the time, we talk and she wants to know how myself and my wife are doing. She's my mom, she's the most caring woman in the world so I know her for that but apart from her, every other member of my family are nothing to write home about when it comes to care and support.

I'm doing well on my own, I have my own company and I don't need financial assistance from any of them but a little support will not be bad.
Let me give an example... 2 years ago I started a social media platform called Zealnut. I started advertising the website and application everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, YouTube... I got a lot of members and the platform is going great. But I'm not happy cuz everyday I get a new notification that someone just registered on my app, I hoped its either one of my sisters or brother but no... Yet they all use big phones, Iphones, Samsung, my kid sister in the university just bought the latest infinix thanks to me.
Yet they don't support anything I do.
My company (An ICT company) has a lot of apps on Playstore and apple store and these apps are 100% to download and use, I have thousands of people using some of my apps but.l I'm pretty sure none of my siblings even use any of those apps.
Yet they call me for money every other day.

My question is, are siblings like this in every family or just mine that is dysfunctional?

The upbringing you people had was what affected you guys

You were brought up to feel big and satisfied yet unappreciative of people's efforts

Look at a case where they will come to you for help after that, they go or zoom off

Until they need your help

Relationship is not connecting among yourselves, no synergy

No one is encouraging you or appreciating you yet they keep coming to harvest where they didn't sow

My advice is keep struggling and make a good achievement because if you drop or slide down, non of them will ever come to raise you up

Am sure you know that very well

4 Likes

Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by Kelvin30286063(m): 8:03am On Mar 10, 2020
frozen70:


The upbringing you people had was what affected you guys

You were brought up to feel big and satisfied yet unappreciative of people's efforts

Look at a case where they will come to you for help after that, they go or zoom off

Until they need your help

Relationship is not connecting among yourselves, no synergy

No one is encouraging you or appreciating you yet they keep coming to harvest where they didn't sow

My advice is keep struggling and make a good achievement because if you drop or slide down, non of them will ever come to uou for assistance

Am sure you know that very well
Thank you
Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by Peeress(f): 12:22pm On Mar 10, 2020
elektra:
You, are you supporting them?
You did not mention how often you call your siblings. The sister you have not spoken to in 3 months, why did you wait 3 months before calling her?

Good questions. Poster come and answer the questions.
Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by Kelvin30286063(m): 11:25pm On Mar 10, 2020
Peeress:


Good questions. Poster come and answer the questions.
I believe if you read the comments you will see that I've answered that already.
Re: Is It Just My Family That Is Dysfunctional Or Every Other Families Are Like That by Peeress(f): 7:53am On Mar 11, 2020
Kelvin30286063:

I believe if you read the comments you will see that I've answered that already.

Seen, no vex.

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