₦airaland Forum

Finally Its Time For Me To Settle Down And Build a lovely and peaceful home.
I so much desire a hitch free marriage.
I need your Sincere advice. I'm Thinking of being totally transparent with my wife, giving her access to my phones, my social media pages, e mail, passwords, and every of my belongings and will also expect her to do same though I have not discussed this with her. She is very Lovely and easy going.
So My Question Is;
Can absolute Sinceresity really Work?
Am I sure that I will Have Peace? What Are The Positive And Negative Effects of This Type Of Decision Most Especially From Experience because I Don't Want to make Mistakes. Thanks

100% transparent is too much bro. Women sabi misused opportunity.

My opinion though.

Yes na........So far u nor get any skeleton for cupboard...

But I doubt.....because nowadayz, skeletons are tryin so hard to force themselves into someones cupboard ........If u know u know

Lol even Jesus didnt tell his parents before sneaking behind them to the temple. In most cases, it does more harm than good. Some things are better left unsaid.

It's so lovely to open up to her but it now depends in her level of maturity to handle issues.
You can grant her access to it one by one to see her reaction then you can draw conclusions from there.

I don't think leaving yourself open to your wife is a bad idea. It does depend on the wife though. You know your woman and only you can say...at least, I hope you know your woman and not believe she is what you WANT her to be.

I am very open to my Lady and vice versa. My phone diverts to hers if it's switched off. Her finger print is registered on my device and vice versa. She knows the pin ms to my debit cards. She knows the passwords to my various accounts and emails. But she doesn't go out of her way to snoop, to track or whatever.

We'll be 7 years married this month after dating long distance for 8 years. So we've been together for 15 years and contrary to the crowd of pessimists on Nairaland, I am enjoying my marriage still.

I'm not saying there are no and have not been any challanges but nothing that has threatened our relationship in ANY way.

madridguy:
100% transparent is too much bro. Women sabi misused opportunity.

My opinion though.

Noted thanks

LondonLord:
What Are The Positive And Negative Effects of This Type Of Decision Most Especially From Experience because I Don't Want to make Mistakes. Thanks

You will not live long. Living a hollywood fantasy life in Nigeria will send you to your early grave. If your mother-in-law does not influence her to kill you - especially if you're wealthy, her aunt or friends will.

GOFRONT:
Yes na........So far u nor get any skeleton for cupboard...

But I doubt.....because nowadayz, skeletons are tryin so hard to force themselves into someones cupboard ........If u know u know

NO skeleton
I got Your point.
Thanks

Zoharariel:
You will not live long. Living a hollywood fantasy life in Nigeria will send you to your early grave. If your mother-in-law does not influence her to kill you - especially if you're wealthy, her aunt or friends will.

NO she Is Not That Kind Of Person.
Thanks For Your Contribution.

Chickychic:
It's so lovely to open up to her but it now depends in her level of maturity to handle issues.
You can grant her access to it one by one to see her reaction then you can draw conclusions from there.

Thank You Very Much

100 % openess is the best, it gives peace of mind on both ends.
It builds trust
It gives you a happy marriage .

LewsTherin:
I don't think leaving yourself open to your wife is a bad idea. It does depend on the wife though. You know your woman and only you can say...at least, I hope you know your woman and not believe she is what you WANT her to be.

I am very open to my Lady and vice versa. My phone diverts to hers if it's switched off. Her finger print is registered on my device and vice versa. She knows the pin ms to my debit cards. She knows the passwords to my various accounts and emails. But she doesn't go out of her way to snoop, to track or whatever.

We'll be 7 years married this month after dating long distance for 8 years. So we've been together for 15 years and contrary to the crowd of pessimists on Nairaland, I am enjoying my marriage still.

I'm not saying there are no and have not been any challanges but nothing that has threatened our relationship in ANY way.

Thanks For Sharing.
I Wish You more Success

Vulnerability is the true test of compatibility, and its continual positive results means that the parties involved are meant to be, with unity, peace and happiness assured in the long run. Yet, diplomacy being a refiner remains constant and it shouldn't be mistaken for disingenuousness. If you can understand all these and apply them both in words and actions, you'll never go wrong.

Zoharariel:
You will not live long. Living a hollywood fantasy life in Nigeria will send you to your early grave. If your mother-in-law does not influence her to kill you - especially if you're wealthy, her aunt or friends will.

Watching too many nollywood movies has affected your view of life.

Be careful to be too transparent as we can read another meaning to your transparency

The fact that you asked this question shows the kind of person you are. You have no idea how much I respect you right now.

If your girl is cool with it,please go ahead.

I think it's cool been transparent but perception differs, so you can raise your family that way or raise dem to imbibe secrecy

Wilfredpat22:
Be careful to be too transparent as we can read another meaning to your transparency

Please Which Other Meaning are You talking about?

Transparency helps to cut down unnecessary conflicts.

Only those who have something to hide don't like transparency

Someone will say it will be taken for granted. What is not taken for granted?

You have made a right decision, if your wife to be is s cool as you portray her then trust me you have a blessed home right there.

LordKO:
Vulnerability is the true test of compatibility, and its continual positive results means that the parties involved are meant to be, with unity, peace and happiness assured in the long run. Yet, diplomacy being a refiner remains constant and it shouldn't be mistaken for disingenuousness. If you can understand all these and apply them both in words and actions, you'll never go wrong.

We don't even understand your words. How do we apply them?

The deal is you can never be completely transparent to your partner. Sometimes some things are left unsaid. How much you expose to your partner should depend on who your partner is.
For example: You don't tell your partner about all the dates and hang outs requests you get if he or she is an insecure or temperamental one.

There should be a balance.

LondonLord:
Thank You Very Much

You welcome

I would encourage that because we do it and it works for us. We didn’t start out that way but now that we do, there’s obviously a difference.


Whatever you share, make sure it’s reciprocated otherwise then it’s controlling and never romantic.
If you have access to her emails, make sure she has access to your emails. If you have the passwords to all her social media, she has to have the passwords to all of yours as well. I hope you guys enjoy your marriage

I stand for 100 percent transperancy but it depends on who's at the other end. Some can't just handle the truth.


So make sure your woman can handle the truth and is also reciprocating same else it's a recipe for disaster

LondonLord:
Finally Its Time For Me To Settle Down And Build a lovely and peaceful home.
I so much desire a hitch free marriage.
I need your Sincere advice. I'm Thinking of being totally transparent with my wife, giving her access to my phones, my social media pages, e mail, passwords, and every of my belongings and will also expect her to do same though I have not discussed this with her. She is very Lovely and easy going.
So My Question Is;
Can absolute Sinceresity really Work?
Am I sure that I will Have Peace? What Are The Positive And Negative Effects of This Type Of Decision Most Especially From Experience because I Don't Want to make Mistakes. Thanks

Astounding. Only very few men ever even consider this talk less of divulging all to their spouse.
Now your desire attracted my curiiousity.
But having a hitch-free any thing is a dangerous wish.
It is funny but only hitches and challenges help us grow better spiritually, emotionally, even financially.

But of a truth, the only way to be prepared for a blessed, prosperous, happy marriage which is also hitches fortified is to make Christ the Rock and Head of your home.
If both of you or either of you isn't born again, please just do that first.
I hope you won't brush this aside as just another online babble. I hope you would realise how priceless my little advice is for you now so you won't have tp figure it out yoursef the hard way later in life.

A good way to start is for both of you to go to church today and locate the foundation school of the church to start to learn of Christ and how to live a victorious Christian life as a Disciple of Christ.

Wish you a happy, blessed marriage. Jesus Loves You, whether or not you love Him. Simply because He Is LOVE.

Wilfredpat22:
Be careful to be too transparent as we can read another meaning to your transparency

Who are the 'we'?