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My Wife Had An Affair!! - Family - Nairaland

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My Wife Had An Affair!! by Taylor430(op): 1:39pm On Sep 14, 2018
This is going to be a long write up but I need help from a matured outsider.

Today is Friday and I'm off work today. I wanted to spend time with my wife and daughter. I married my wife 3 years ago and we have been dating since 2008. We have a beautiful daughter who is 3 years old. I used to think I have it all. A young man who is 25 with a house of his own in Lekki. Two cars one for me and one for her. What else could a woman want!

She used to be my motivation to work hard. I wanted her to have it all. When I held my daughter in 2015. OMG!! It was the happiest day of my life. I said to myself life can't be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

I have found my wife texting dudes and trust me she is a very smart woman. Stay at home mum, so she can always be there for our daughters needs. My wife and I had this issue with a pharmacist in our estate a couple of months ago. They were always texting. Remember I said she was smart. They chat on whatsapp and she always deleted their chat. I couldn't get anything but I knew something was off. I logged on to her whatsapp on my laptop so I could see the chats before they get deleted. She called him pet names and I was so mad. This guy looks at me in the eye whenever I go get prescriptions for my wife, daughter and I.

I told her what I did to her whatsapp and I was impatient. I let the cat out of the bag before I could get anything. She denied ever having an affair and she was mad at me. I apologized. We went for a family vacation in Paris. It was my way of apologizing to her.

Fast forward to today. This unfortunate morning! I told her I would love us to go on a date tonight and she agreed. She is a serving corper. She told me she had an issue with her file and she wanted to sort it out. I knew something was off. I had her iPhone set up on my computer so I could know where exactly she would be.

The tracker on her phone stopped and the location was a nearby hotel just outside the estate. My head was spinning and I was thinking in my head. Do I really want to do this. Do I want to catch her in the act. It's going to change everything I thought.

I waited from 10am at the hotel, she left home by 9AM and I waited at the reception. I texted her where she was and if they are attending to her. She replied told me everything is being sorted. Not knowing I was waiting downstairs while she was having sex with another man. The receptionist didn't want me just sitting at their waiting room and asked me to leave. I told her I was waiting for someone and I paid for a room. I told her I'm waiting for some colleagues and I will only leave the waiting room when my guest arrives. She accepted. I have already paid *smiles*

She texted me by 12 that she was on her way home and I replied Ok. She met me at the hall. I looked at my wife and she saw me waiting. I didn't create a scene. I just wanted her to know that I saw her. I drove home and she called me crying if she could come home I told her why not.

She sat across me and I was tough on her. I told her to tell me the truth or else she would see the beast in me. She confessed they have been meeting for a month now and had sex twice at the hotel. My heartbeat dropped. I thought I was having a heart attack. What else could I have done differently I asked myself. Where did I go wrong?

I don't know what to do. I know for a fact I can never be married to her. This marriage is over. We have been together for since 2008 and I'm just finding out now. My daughter will be a result of separated parents. My worst nightmare.

When you catch someone cheating or telling lies. They don't change they only become smarter at getting caught. I don't think I can ever forgive her. She has to go. I need help!! I can't tell my parent. My mom loves her and they talk more than we do. I can't tell her parents they treat me like their child. Please help!! Matured minds only!!
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Zzyzxt(m): 1:45pm On Sep 14, 2018
Women sha... Dis one weak me. Now I know Notting can satisfy woman.
If u like have money
If u like have the biggest d!ck
If she wants to cheat she will. Marriage and relationships in this generation is not encouraging.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Oyindidi(f): 3:20pm On Sep 14, 2018
Wow! Tough one. I don't know what to say to you. Take heart my brother, all will be well..
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Sammy1932(m): 3:34pm On Sep 14, 2018
I have cases like these of people too close to me. I have a brother who had caught the wife on several occasions cheating on him. I pleaded with him not to let it filter into the ears of other members of the family because we all loved her. Recently she was caught again. I stepped in as usual but this time she promised never to repeat that we should call the attention of her dad if she is ever caught again.
I will suggest you sit her down and ask her where you have actually gotten it wrong with her. Probably it could be she is not getting enough sex from you. It might even be that she was influenced by bad friends Or that she's the type that always feel the urge for sex at the sight of a masculine figure. I think she needs help.
If she can open up then you'll now know what step to take.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Oyindidi(f): 3:45pm On Sep 14, 2018
Sammy1932:
I have cases like these of people too close to me. I have a brother who had caught the wife on several occasions cheating on him. I pleaded with him not to let it filter into the ears of other members of the family because we all loved her. Recently she was caught again. I stepped in as usual but this time she promised never to repeat that we should call the attention of her dad if she is ever caught again.
I will suggest you sit her down and ask her where you have actually gotten it wrong with her. Probably it could be she is not getting enough sex from you. It might even be that she was influenced by bad friends Or that she's the type that always feel the urge for sex at the sight of a masculine figure. I think she needs help.
If she can open up then you'll now know what step to take.
Nothing should make a married woman do such to her husband.. Sex no be food
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Zzyzxt(m): 3:53pm On Sep 14, 2018
Oyindidi:
Nothing should make a married woman do such to her husband.. Sex no be food
Are you sure? Wait until u r married.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Oyindidi(f): 3:54pm On Sep 14, 2018
Zzyzxt:
Are you sure? Wait until u r married.
This is my eleventh year. There are things you take for peace to reign in your marriage.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by grafixdon: 6:00pm On Sep 14, 2018
Sammy1932:
I have cases like these of people too close to me. I have a brother who had caught the wife on several occasions cheating on him. I pleaded with him not to let it filter into the ears of other members of the family because we all loved her. Recently she was caught again. I stepped in as usual but this time she promised never to repeat that we should call the attention of her dad if she is ever caught again.
I will suggest you sit her down and ask her where you have actually gotten it wrong with her. Probably it could be she is not getting enough sex from you. It might even be that she was influenced by bad friends Or that she's the type that always feel the urge for sex at the sight of a masculine figure. I think she needs help.
If she can open up then you'll now know what step to take.
Oga, you're not making sense at all, she needs help, which useless help? The help she can't discuss with her husband, you re talking about not getting enough sex from her husband ... Really? So that gives her automatic ticket to fvck around.

Op, you're still asking question on what to do? You're a vegetable. You need some whipping...
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Belafonte(m):
Hoes gon hoe
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Nobody: 6:43pm On Sep 14, 2018
Taylor430:
This is going to be a long write up but I need help from a matured outsider.

Today is Friday and I'm off work today. I wanted to spend time with my wife and daughter. I married my wife 3 years ago and we have been dating since 2008. We have a beautiful daughter who is 3 years old. I used to think I have it all. A young man who is 25 with a house of his own in Lekki. Two cars one for me and one for her. What else could a woman want!

She used to be my motivation to work hard. I wanted her to have it all. When I held my daughter in 2015. OMG!! It was the happiest day of my life. I said to myself life can't be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

I have found my wife texting dudes and trust me she is a very smart woman. Stay at home mum, so she can always be there for our daughters needs. My wife and I had this issue with a pharmacist in our estate a couple of months ago. They were always texting. Remember I said she was smart. They chat on whatsapp and she always deleted their chat. I couldn't get anything but I knew something was off. I logged on to her whatsapp on my laptop so I could see the chats before they get deleted. She called him pet names and I was so mad. This guy looks at me in the eye whenever I go get prescriptions for my wife, daughter and I.

I told her what I did to her whatsapp and I was impatient. I let the cat out of the bag before I could get anything. She denied ever having an affair and she was mad at me. I apologized. We went for a family vacation in Paris. It was my way of apologizing to her.

Fast forward to today. This unfortunate morning! I told her I would love us to go on a date tonight and she agreed. She is a serving corper. She told me she had an issue with her file and she wanted to sort it out. I knew something was off. I had her iPhone set up on my computer so I could know where exactly she would be.

The tracker on her phone stopped and the location was a nearby hotel just outside the estate. My head was spinning and I was thinking in my head. Do I really want to do this. Do I want to catch her in the act. It's going to change everything I thought.

I waited from 10am at the hotel, she left home by 9AM and I waited at the reception. I texted her where she was and if they are attending to her. She replied told me everything is being sorted. Not knowing I was waiting downstairs while she was having sex with another man. The receptionist didn't want me just sitting at their waiting room and asked me to leave. I told her I was waiting for someone and I paid for a room. I told her I'm waiting for some colleagues and I will only leave the waiting room when my guest arrives. She accepted. I have already paid *smiles*

She texted me by 12 that she was on her way home and I replied Ok. She met me at the hall. I looked at my wife and she saw me waiting. I didn't create a scene. I just wanted her to know that I saw her. I drove home and she called me crying if she could come home I told her why not.

She sat across me and I was tough on her. I told her to tell me the truth or else she would see the beast in me. She confessed they have been meeting for a month now and had sex twice at the hotel. My heartbeat dropped. I thought I was having a heart attack. What else could I have done differently I asked myself. Where did I go wrong?

I don't know what to do. I know for a fact I can never be married to her. This marriage is over. We have been together for since 2008 and I'm just finding out now. My daughter will be a result of separated parents. My worst nightmare.

When you catch someone cheating or telling lies. They don't change they only become smarter at getting caught. [b]I don't think I can ever forgive her. She has to go. [/b]I need help!! I can't tell my parent. My mom loves her and they talk more than we do. I can't tell her parents they treat me like their child. Please help!! Matured minds only!!
First things first. Submit yourself for medicals and see how clean you are from STI's/STD's. It is my belief that every human deserves a second chance. Give her another shot for the sake of your child.

At the bolded, you are well justified according to the law of cause and effect. But understand that no human is infallible. I think you married a young woman whose hormones are getting the better of her. I think she loves you. Just chemical reactions getting in the way of what she feels for you.

Be a bigger man and put her under probation and rate her efforts to earn your trust back. if not good enough, you already know what to do.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by UjuJoan2: 6:49pm On Sep 14, 2018
Men usually assume all women need is money. Not that we don't need money, but obviously it's not the ultimate. Your wife was obviously missing something, doesn't mean she loves you any less. It could be an emotional connection, a certain intimacy, just plain or crazy sex e.t.c

The good news is that it's not your fault. Most women don't even know what they need at every point in time. Chances are that if you met her immidiate need today, she is likely to 'need' something else tomorrow. Women are complicated like that..

She cheated not because you were not enough, but because she is an irrational, inherently selfish being who is obviously not emotionally mature enough to make a commitment and stick to it.

I always said it was easier for men to be faithful than women. Most women are confused and very unstable. Especially when they are very young.

You will be right to end the marriage because she will most likely cheat again. Until she is ready to grow up and learn to be content with what she has, and stop chasing shadows.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Belafonte(m): 7:08pm On Sep 14, 2018
To the unmarried guys reading learn today that nothing can satisfy a woman. Nothing
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by kristen12(f): 7:34pm On Sep 14, 2018
Firstly, you need to talk to God. A short prayer can relieve your tensed self and solve lots of things. Just try it.

Then go for medical check up. Test for std's and sti.

Talk to a professional counsellor (not religion affiliated) just a neutral person. It will help a lot.
(You might not get reasonable advices here. Lots of children here)

I pray God helps you through this trying time. Be strong.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by PamaB(m): 7:55pm On Sep 14, 2018
Start replacing her as soon as possible with someone far better and prettier than her.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by killsmith(f): 8:07pm On Sep 14, 2018
Until she starts plotting to kill you and elope with another man and your wealth.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Tochex101(m): 8:07pm On Sep 14, 2018
UjuJoan2:
Men usually assume all women need is money. Not that we don't need money, but obviously it's not the ultimate. Your wife was obviously missing something, doesn't mean she loves you any less. It could be an emotional connection, a certain intimacy, just plain or crazy sex e.t.c

The good news is that it's not your fault. Most women don't even know what they need at every point in time. Chances are that if you met her immidiate need today, she is likely to 'need' something else tomorrow. Women are complicated like that..

She cheated not because you were not enough, but because she is an irrational, inherently selfish being who is obviously not emotionally mature enough to make a commitment and stick to it.

I always said it was easier for men to be faithful than women. Most women are confused and very unstable. Especially when they are very young.

You will be right to end the marriage because she will most likely cheat again. Until she is ready to grow up and learn to be content with what she has, and stop chasing shadows.
Beautiful submission, screenshot and saved.....potent advice and would prove very useful.
Thanks.....
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by killsmith(f): 8:09pm On Sep 14, 2018
Belafonte:
To the unmarried guys reading learn today that nothing can satisfy a woman. Nothing
Co-signed.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by nwaanambra1(m): 8:17pm On Sep 14, 2018
killsmith:
Until she starts plotting to kill you and elope with another man and your wealth.
leave the mumu guy let him still be asking what to do.


we will read his story on Nairaland after she has killed him.




he doesn't knw women.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by PamaB(m): 8:29pm On Sep 14, 2018
But bro I blame you tho! Never marry a girl that has cheating tendencies. From dating you should know. Never marry a girl you had sex with when she had a bf.
Its a No No.
Never marry a girl that deletes Chats easily, Never marry a girl that lie, Never marry a girl that loves too much sex, Never marry a girl that locks her gadgets against you.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Oyindidi(f): 9:17pm On Sep 14, 2018
PamaB:
But bro I blame you tho! Never marry a girl that has cheating tendencies. From dating you should know. Never marry a girl you had sex with when she had a bf.
Its a No No.
Never marry a girl that deletes Chats easily, Never marry a girl that lie, Never marry a girl that loves too much sex, Never marry a girl that locks her gadgets against you.
Rest na, if she no love sex una go complain.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Nobody: 10:01pm On Sep 14, 2018
You saw the chats and how she called him pet names and after confronting her you were the one to apologize and to top it all you took her to Paris to make it up to her? shocked shocked shocked

Man, your problem is serious. I couldn't get myself to read past that. Have you no self-respect at all?
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by gaby(m): 10:10pm On Sep 14, 2018
This is a looooooong taleeee...
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by gaby(m): 10:17pm On Sep 14, 2018
This is a looooooong taleeee...


Storytime.

And you've been dating her since you were 15. You own a personal house in Lekki with two cars.

Bros, what do you do for a living?

If you earn your living from your sweat and your story isn't some cheap fable, jm sorry for your ordeal.

But if what you do for a living is one you can't share here, guy, this is the karma I keep preaching about in my book and story in my siggy.

Most of my fellows' marriage lasted shorter than their receptions and for me, I was duly blessed with a curse for a wife.

Karma is a fair bitch. Very non- discriminatory. He won't cheat you by short-changing you, or overpay you by giving you more than you deserve. You get a cut to size and a perfect fit for your deeds.

Let's live right and do right all the time.

Peace
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by madamGift(f): 3:47am On Sep 15, 2018
gaby:
This is a looooooong taleeee...


Storytime.

And you've been dating her since you were 15. You own a personal house in Lekki with two cars.

Bros, what do you do for a living?

If you earn your living from your sweat and your story isn't some cheap fable, jm sorry for your ordeal.

But if what you do for a living is one you can't share here, guy, this is the karma I keep preaching about in my book and story in my siggy.

Most of my fellows' marriage lasted shorter than their receptions and for me, I was duly blessed with a curse for a wife.

Karma is a fair bitch. Very non- discriminatory. He won't cheat you by short-changing you, or overpay you by giving you more than you deserve. You get a cut to size and a perfect fit for your deeds.

Let's live right and do right all the time.

Peace
"Curse for a wife?" That's deep.

@OP sorry for your ordeal.. I can't even begin to imagine the pain..It's funny how life works...

Some have food but cannot eat, some can eat but have no food..
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by gaby(m): 6:49am On Sep 15, 2018
madamGift:
"Curse for a wife?" That's deep.

@OP sorry for your ordeal.. I can't even begin to imagine the pain..It's funny how life works...

Some have food but cannot eat, some can eat but have no food..
Seriously, op's wife is an apprentice where she was, in my case I wasn't bothered or started seeking advice because I knew I was responsible for bringing home an ant infested firewood home hence the visit by the lizards.

In simple English term, I was paying for my sins. I only kept praying for forgiveness and to have the cup pass over me, which eventually happened and I got free.

Whatever we sow, we reap in double.

Enjoy my siggy
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by madamGift(f): 6:55am On Sep 15, 2018
gaby:
Seriously, op's wife is an apprentice where she was, in my case I wasn't bothered or started seeking advice because I knew I was responsible for bringing home an ant infested firewood home hence the visit by the lizards.

In simple English term, I was paying for my sins. I only kept praying for forgiveness and to have the cup pass over me, which eventually happened and I got free.

Whatever we sow, we reap in double.

Enjoy my siggy
Interesting. Thank God you survived it.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by gaby(m): 7:05am On Sep 15, 2018
madamGift:
Interesting. Thank God you survived it.
Thanks, much sis...I was able to get one over it/her because I refused to pretend all was well, and that I was sinless.
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by wittyt98(m): 8:25am On Sep 15, 2018
i can only hope u get over this pain soon.
its a really sad one and i don't even know what advise I'm gonna give you. she disrespected her marriage, her husband and child. i don't know of someone else but lord know I'm not gonna go on with the marriage. not even once but twice!!! i never can forgive and forget such especially if I've been loyal the whole time.

if she isn't getting enough sex why not discuss it with her husband so they can help themselves out? what a shame

stories like this is why i'm scared of getting married cus i honestly don't know how I'm gonna react if such ever happens to me

Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by frozen70(f): 4:52pm On Sep 15, 2018
What a write up

Check within your mind if you still love her, if yes ask her what led her to such act

Tell her Ron open up and tell you her reasons for doing so
Don't be suprised it could be that you don't or no longer satisfy her in bed, your appearance doesn't please her any longer or she has lost taste of you

If you think you can work on whatever reason she gives you, good and fine try and work on it, but if she said nothing then she will do more of it

And if you think you don't love her any longer, tell her to take the things she will need to stay with her parents without asking you to bring an item she forgot

Let her go to her parents, don't tell her parents anything, she will be the one to report herself to her parents

Meanwhile, all the time she is with her parents you are alone, go through your mind if you can accept her back without making reference to that incident

I can see that money is not her problem but there must be something that is missing somewhere
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Wilfredpat22(f): 6:21pm On Sep 15, 2018
The honest truth is that we ladies are nothing to write home about. It is only our pussy that is helping us
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Homeboiy: 10:12pm On Sep 15, 2018
op why post this thing two times
Real men and women have given you enough advise on the first thread
Divorce her if that's what you want to hear
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