........ - Family (6)

........ - Family (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › ........ (10886 Views)

Re: ........ by KanwuliaExtra: 3:43pm On Sep 23, 2018

ifyalways:
I hope she listens.

There's no child/baby to keep the mama busy or occupied.
She's probably had a rough life (men/marriage heart breaks , child rearing sufferings, business set backs, religious imprisonment etc) and the OP expects her to be happy working for her even with all the comfort and gadgets in the house ? The woman in her mind will be seeing the OP as a lazy woman with a mumu husband spoiling her and see no reason to adapt to the oga-madam situation. . .

She will eat everything eatable to her heart content, cross her legs and watch tv 》》》》》 obesity plus all the other old age diseases.

Best bet is to let her go and bring her back, if she must, after having her baby.

Nne!
She has a “DANNY” now. wink

A young man. wink

We will be doing several paternity tests . . . . in the foreseeable future. wink

She does not want a younger, competitor for a nanny. wink

Re: ........ by Acidosis(m): 4:17pm On Sep 23, 2018

Seahawk:
He didn’t just say that.

I did and I will say it again. tongue

I'm tempted to call you 'lazy' but I won't (for personal reasons).

Re: ........ by realtalk19: 5:54pm On Sep 23, 2018

Seahawk:
Please pay her more

I sure will if my salary increases.taking care of 2 kids and paying bills is a whole Lot of expenses on me for now.

1 Like

Re: ........ by Stellamariss(f): 6:40pm On Sep 23, 2018

Joyfulgal:
Wow thanks. You are far too qualified. I wish I could help. Don't give up.

thanks

Re: ........ by Seahawk: 7:02pm On Sep 23, 2018

Acidosis:
I did and I will say it again. I'm tempted to call you 'lazy' but I won't (for personal reasons).

mtchew

You clearly have no clue what marriage entails. Imagine saying marriage doesn’t increase responsibilities

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: ........ by sassyangel1(f): 2:43am On Sep 24, 2018

Please, relieve her off her job cos she's already stressing you. You are the one wearing the shoes and know where it hurts. Every pregnancy comes with different package. When I was pregnant of my girl, I had serious MS through out my 1st trimester. Tho, I didn't hire any help cos I could manage myself and my hubby was helpful when he's around. It was from my 2nd trimester, I gathered strength. When I was pregnant for my son, right from 1st to 2nd trimester I was very strong till I entered 3rd trimester and my gynecologist advised me to slow down cos of some issues. Back to the topic, it's your money so you are entitled to have 100 helps if you can afford it, just look for someone that is not your mother's age mate cos they can make you feel bad and untrained when you want to be professional. Safe bumping...

1 Like

Re: ........ by Joyfulgal(op): 10:21am On Oct 11, 2018*

Re: ........ by Joyfulgal(op): 10:24am On Oct 11, 2018*

Re: ........ by Boss13: 1:13pm On Oct 11, 2018

Joyfulgal:
Reducing stress as much as possible. Avoiding house chores. Eliminating stress as much as possible.

Thinking I could manage her till December at least I will be better by then and she also should have saved some cash for herself. Sending her off the first month may show lack of tolerance but if within three months issues keep coming up then it means she has serious issues/attitude problem

You’re taking a huge risk keeping that woman in your house. She still cooks your food.

Re: ........ by yatch360: 3:15pm On Oct 11, 2018

Joyfulgal:
Reducing stress as much as possible. Avoiding house chores. Eliminating stress as much as possible.

Thinking I could manage her till December at least I will be better by then and she also should have saved some cash for herself. Sending her off the first month may show lack of tolerance but if within three months issues keep coming up then it means she has serious issues/attitude problem

Stop talking as if u are thinking of her wellbeing.
U are just lazy, or need company at home or both.

Re: ........ by zeb04(f): 5:07pm On Oct 11, 2018

Aquariann:
Hello Joy, if you're in Lagos and around Lekki/Ajah axis, I have someone I can recommend.

She's a former employee of my Aunt (live-in maid). VERY hardworking, from Akwa Ibom. Good cook, Cleans well and all that ish.

She now runs her own small foodstuff store and occasional petty trade but has a relative staying with her and managing the place.

She told me she's looking for a house help job, but won't be live-in again. She no get wahala. Na my Aunty madness make her run .lol.

Just holla if you're interested. Or anyone else.

hello I am interested pls.and I leave around that axis.how can I get In touch with you.

Re: ........ by CoCoLav(f): 5:22pm On Oct 11, 2018

Brazenbabe:
Joyfulgal dont listen to anybody telling you that you dont need a help/nanny.
Pregnancy treats us differently. If their mothers nursed 20 kids without help, while farming at the same time, e no concern you
If you need to have help, and can afford one, please go ahead
I employed my help when I was 6 months pregnant. People were criticizing me and asking me to wait till I have two kids but I no listen to any of them . When they saw how well myself and my help were living, they came to ask for the connection , they wanted help too.
I have one son and I have a help, once I get pregnant again, I go employ the second to pamper me and run all my pregnancy errands
Call me lazy o, I no care. None of them would be around to massage you when your back is aching from bending down.
Abeg get help so that when baby comes, you will have time to bond. Not breastfeeding and pounding yam at the same life.
You make money to have comfort, you wont have money and still be living suffer life because you want people to call you hardworking Hebrew woman."yimu"
Infact make sure you employ a help that can cook very well, or get a cook if you can afford it. Pregnancy is enough stress abeg. You need all the help you can get. As long as no one is giving you money, then you owe no one any explanations.

Gbam! Some people are just hypocrites. Its their type that also make women refuse to choose CS as a birthing option so they won't be called lazy. If you can't afford a maid, it's nobody's fault. Don't be hating on those who can.

OP, better allow your money work for you.

3 Likes

Re: ........ by Aquariann: 5:25pm On Oct 11, 2018

zeb04:
hello I am interested pls.and I leave around that axis.how can I get In touch with you.

Hello, send me a pm or drop your mail/number I'll reach out to you.

Re: ........ by midastouch040(f): 11:21pm On Oct 11, 2018

Joyfulgal , you really have to be careful. As you live alone, you can't afford to totally depend on a stranger. Even when you get a new helper/maid...,be vigilant. You can stay in the kitchen with her to ensure your meals are cooked in a hygienic manner. As a pregnant woman, you can't afford to fall sick with typhoid or cholera o.
If possible sef, let the helper help prepare the ingredients while you mix /cook your food. Life is delicate. Be prayerful too when keeping strangers as live in helpers/maids/nannies. Relatives can hurt not to talk of total strangers.
Though from my experience, a relative like your sister or aunty is safer especially for those who live alone. God be with you. I hope you get better.

6 Likes

Re: ........ by Makschinchin: 9:31pm On Oct 12, 2018

Joyfulgal:
Thanks. From stories I have heard,either oga is terrorising the young maid or maid disturbing oga. Lols. Seriously considering a younger maid of 18 with full front and back joking. My dear may consider a younger maid if nothing good comes out from her. I was thinking matured ladies are more experienced in keeping the home and easy to interact with but it seems I am wrong.

Oh please!! Don't get someone younger, at least not yet. Reason being that from your first post, you mentioned that you would have hit the old woman if she was younger just because of her comment.

I think, just thinking though, that you won't hesitate to descend on a younger woman if the opportunity permits, and that won't be fair.

Human beings are very difficult to live with, but if you understand someone well, then you can live peacefully.

I feel it was your rapport with the current woman that made her feel too comfortable with you. If you'll be getting someone else, be strict at first (not too strict though, but let the person know you don't tolerate nonsense). Show love to the person but be strict at first until some weeks.
Na work the person come nor be play, no forget say feel at home feel at home na im make dem spoil remote This will make you two understand each other and your employee will know what you tolerate and what you don't. First impression matters alot. So even if you start showering her with all the love and making her happy, she will know your likes and dislikes.

Go help you on this, Amen.

1 Like

Re: ........ by Makschinchin: 9:44pm On Oct 12, 2018

KanwuliaExtra:
A 50 year old cannot be a NANNY!
Too physically and mentally tired!
Prolly depressed too. . . With all her domestic issues!

Even to do “Omugwo”, they can’t manage.
Please, rest the old bones.

Don't say so.. All 50 year olds aren't tired and full of illnesses. My mum is 56 and she still looks healthy and does so many chores around the house. Her mum (my grandma) should be in her 80s but still looks strong and doesn't walk around with any walking aid. She goes long distances on foot and is very useful at home doing chores when she wants to because she has helps at home.

This thing is a family something, some people in their lineages are healthy and strong even as they get older while some are looking tired and dying in their 50s.

2 Likes

Re: ........ by Makschinchin: 9:53pm On Oct 12, 2018

ifyalways:
Spacious and clean houses ( occupants clean after themselves as they SHOULD) do not need to be cleaned daily. It's not a factor of how much the maid is being paid.

Na person born that person wey dey mop your house twice daily .

Ify, I like your comments on this thread. But it's as if joyfulgal is prolly a butty or ...(I reserve my comment here).

Me wen be pako, I no even dey reason house help at all, my mama carry all of us and cared for us on her own with help from her sis that didn't stay long in our house then. That your pregnancy must be very special to you o... Chai, first belle, na so e dey be for some people sha... You're lucky enough to have the wherewithal to employ and even fire

Re: ........ by Joyfulgal(op): 8:58am On Oct 13, 2018*

2 Likes

Re: ........ by Eketem: 9:22am On Oct 13, 2018

Makschinchin:
Ify, I like your comments on this thread. But it's as if joyfulgal is prolly a butty or ...(I reserve my comment here).

Me wen be pako, I no even dey reason house help at all, my mama carry all of us and cared for us on her own with help from her sis that didn't stay long in our house then. That your pregnancy must be very special to you o... Chai, first belle, na so e dey be for some people sha... You're lucky enough to have the wherewithal to employ and even fire

It is not a matter of butty read her previous posts she has been trying to conceive for 8 years, has had several IVF and is currently on bed rest.

People need to stop being so judgemental on people's choices even when she didn't come to ask if it is okay to have a help people left the real matter and started judging

9 Likes

Re: ........ by Joyfulgal(op): 9:23am On Oct 13, 2018*

Re: ........ by Joyfulgal(op): 9:26am On Oct 13, 2018*

Re: ........ by Joyfulgal(op): 10:01am On Oct 13, 2018*

5 Likes

Re: ........ by dustydee: 10:09am On Oct 13, 2018

KanwuliaExtra:
50 year-old nanny?
Who knows what kinds of illnesses she brought with her.
Just get ready to buy a CASKET next!

Nanny in Nigeria na SLAVE o!

You expect a 50 year-old to run around like a spring chicken?

I hope you live outside Nigeria biko?
Nanny in Nigeria should be in early 20s to 30s only! They are usually OVER-WORKED like slaves!

She may be as fit as you. wink

Age is just a number.

1 Like

Re: ........ by Joyfulgal(op): 8:17am On Oct 14, 2018*

Re: ........ by Joyfulgal(op): 8:19am On Oct 14, 2018*

Re: ........ by Joyfulgal(op): 8:21am On Oct 14, 2018*

Re: ........ by ambient: 3:04pm On Oct 14, 2018

Joyfulgal:
Good morning everyone,
Let me start by saying I am not a perfect person. I will try to be as honest as possible. On the 29th of August I got a nanny. Here's a brief description of her. She claims to be God fearing, around 50 years, separated from her husband, has 5 kids. She calls me daughter and I call her mama/mummy.

The first three days she came, she was sick , but was treated (malaria ). Two weeks into her stay, she complained of body itching note she has a room and toilet to herself. Drinks good c - way water and bathe of course with clean water. Diagnosis was allergy. Just yesterday, she started complaining of neck pains. When she told me her age, I told her at this stage, she needs retirement but she says no one to provide for her needs. Meaning she needs the job and salary. She will be paid #30,000 monthly. Remember she's a stay home nanny.i provide her meals and medicals and may occasionally buy her clothes.

She lives with me and hubby. My hubby washes his clothes and car. So the only thing needed from her ìs a nice meal at the right time. I also told her, he doesn't joke with his meals. The first week,we had issues with her . She forgot the egusi at home and went to the market. Sure there was issues. The meal wasn't prepared on time. Two days later she messed up moimoi, it was on a Saturday after long hours of waiting for the meal , she served a meal that was half cooked. Hubby told her to cook again. And left the house angrily. I returned and ate the meal and also complained that the meal wasn't properly cooked.she said it's my tongue. I was bitter with her. Can you serve a visitor what you gave us or sell what you gave us? Her response was, she cooks and sell moin Moin and people don't complain. Ok I knew we were in for it. First week, I usually stay with her in the kitchen and guide her on her to prepare our meals. The following day Sunday, I told her hubby will go to church later so u can go for first service and return to prepare lunch. she returned from church(RCCG that closes before 12pm) few minutes to 2pm. I calmly told her,if my husband returns and his food is not ready it won't go well. She responded loudly that she's angry with me.i didn't bother to call her to find out her where about. I told her I see you as an adult and believe when dealing with adults things should go smoothly. Lunch was served by 4pm. I told her, if sincerely you see me as a daughter, you won't be doing all this. That passed. She kept a straight face.

God knows I have been trying to make her happy. I tell her to take a walk when she feels like. Give her money for snacks and ice cream. Make her feel like family. Watch tv together and allow her retire to bed when she feels like but the electronics must be properly turned off. Don't wake her up when I need to do some chores in the early hours of the day. I play ludo game with her when free and engage her in long gist to make her happy and don't feel lonely.

HERE IS THE PROBLEM
I told her, soon I will connect the dstv to her room but she can flex with the tv and dvd now. But when she needs to watch the almighty android tv in the sitting room I will help her turn it on .The tv is complex, requires update and to know when to connect it to ups /stabiliser. Yesterday afternoon called me, I was sleeping and honestly my phone was on silent. When I woke up, I went to her. She said there was light and she was calling and I didn't pick and she wanted to watch tv. Later in the evening, with our epileptic light, light came and off course her usual routine, please turn on the tv I did. PHCN struck around 10.21pm. She came knocking but I was in the convenience. When I came out, I didn't see her. So I went back to sleep. Remember no issues yesterday.

This morning, she requested for a meeting with me. Here was the discussion
Mama : I take u as my daughter, when I notice some character I don't like I have to tell u .maybe when oga comes the three of us will sit and u will tell me where I have gone wrong in this house. Your attitude towards me, I don't understand. I have noticed that on four occasions when I call, u don't pick(even days she went to the market ) i always return her calls.yesterday I knocked u didn't answer. That this suffer work when person dey do." She don tay for this job" .e be like I dey find person to replace her or she fit go.

Me: is that all my offence ? Do I wake u up early morning to do chores? I allow u wake up at your time. What do u think u do in this house? Sweep and mop once a week, go to market and cook and wash only my clothes and wash the kitchen utensils. What else? I have been a housewife and working class for some time now. It seems u are tired of this job or you are bigger than it. Please give me one week notification. I respect u so much the reason why I will stop here, had it been u were younger, I would have hit u real hard for all these u have said.

My observations
medically fit:40%
A good cook: 30%
Keeping the house clean:30%
But I intend to keep for some time until I have exhausted all options. I know she needs the money/salary. Tendency of her poisoning food is low or bringing in armed robbers or kidnappers is also low.

Please I need help on how to manage her or make her happy. I have been interacting with her as a family member and I think over familiarity is raising unnecessary issues. Please drop some tips for me.

....

Plz if you are still looking for a help contact me. I personally vouch for her.

Re: ........ by Makschinchin: 3:17pm On Oct 14, 2018

Joyfulgal:
Sweetheart I am not butty. Next year will be my ninth year in marriage. So much tears in the past and pains. Trying to pamper myself. Although was told to reduce stress at the hospital and if possible be on bed rest always. Who wouldn't want to be up and doing?

I didn't fire her. She woke up and gave me 30 hours notice that she was travelling for only God knows what. I gladly oblige her. She's an adult and I can't tie her down.

Although I got someone that comes weekly today.thanks

God bless your soul dear.. I'm wishing you a stress-free pregnancy period and safe delivery in advance.. wink

2 Likes

Re: ........ by Makschinchin: 3:20pm On Oct 14, 2018

Eketem:
It is not a matter of butty read her previous posts she has been trying to conceive for 8 years, has had several IVF and is currently on bed rest.

People need to stop being so judgemental on people's choices even when she didn't come to ask if it is okay to have a help people left the real matter and started judging

Thanks for pointing that out. She didn't mention something like that in her post so why throwing shades at us angry

Anyways, correction taken wink

Re: ........ by Eketem: 6:37pm On Oct 14, 2018

Makschinchin:
Thanks for pointing that out. She didn't mention something like that in her post so why throwing shades at us

Anyways, correction taken

It is easy to check posters history before judging

1 Like

Re: ........ by Joyfulgal(op): 9:27am On Oct 30, 2018

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