See this one wey no fit sleep without man

Obi1kenobi:


Because that is an extremely ignorant view. If something doesn't make you happy, then it's not "part of happiness". Some people are depressed by children rather than being happier with children. Some people who raise difficult children would wish they never had children. Some people are not equipped to have children and provide for them. We lived with houseboys and housegirls all my life because the parents of those children popped out kids despite being incapable of providing for them.
I'm a man and in my late 20's and I should eventually have children some time in the future, but right here, right now, the prospect alarms me because while I might find children all cute and adorable and I dote on my nieces from my sisters, living with the permanent responsibility of raising your own children is a different matter entirely.
Nigerians have to learn to mind their own business. No woman should feel ostracized for having different visions of "happiness" than you do.

Every kids innocence gets an upgraded by what is heard and seen. I believe we shouldn't confuse this initial status of a kid with the evil or good some of them do later in life. I don't and can't fathom why peels that their parents decided to have them as kids and conceive, birth them say this kind of stuff about not wanting to have kids.


If our parents thought this way, none of us would be here. Besides how many of us commenting here are as bad as many supporting this stance as killing our parents. That is just my own view here. It's devastating. I'm trying hard to not go into the religious aspect, cos as Christians, ... lemme not.

MissRaine69:

Motherhood is a choice it’s not a mandate.
If I do not want to have children that’s between my uterus, my husband and I.

D fact that u mentioned "my uterus" makes me wonder...y was it put there in d first place?

MissRaine69:

I am saying having a child is an option not sure how I can illuminate that further.Finally I was raised with the mindset that motherhood is an option not an expectation.

An option? Wow. So based on law of probability, you're one of the kids that were lucky to be born cos your parents wish it to be? This is getting funnier. How dyu justify that when one is totally capable of reproduction? How pls, I wanna know?



This mentality/mindset is faulty cos the regard for time and hormones(the crave to wean a kid) will shatter such.


I wonder how one wants to spend the rest of his or her life with their lover for the next 50yrs and above and not have one kid to at least scatter the house.


Our Parents never had this mentality!!!

Reminds of of that Yoruba adage, that the person that has a calabash with water on the head is wishing that he/she is like the passerby that has none on the head. while the passerby wishes he had the water in the calabash to quench his burning thirst.

Obi1kenobi:


Because that is an extremely ignorant view. If something doesn't make you happy, then it's not "part of happiness". Some people are depressed by children rather than being happier with children. Some people who raise difficult children would wish they never had children. Some people are not equipped to have children and provide for them. We lived with houseboys and housegirls all my life because the parents of those children popped out kids despite being incapable of providing for them.
I'm a man and in my late 20's and I should eventually have children some time in the future, but right here, right now, the prospect alarms me because while I might find children all cute and adorable and I dote on my nieces from my sisters, living with the permanent responsibility of raising your own children is a different matter entirely.
Nigerians have to learn to mind their own business. No woman should feel ostracized for having different visions of "happiness" than you do.

Dote ur nieces from now till next year, wetin no b ur own, no b ur own.

daveP:



Every kids innocence gets an upgraded by what is heard and seen. I believe we shouldn't confuse this initial status of a kid with the evil or good some of them do later in life. I don't and can't fathom why peels that their parents decided to have them as kids and conceive, birth them say this kind of stuff about not wanting to have kids.


If our parents thought this way, none of us would be here. Besides how many of us commenting here are as bad as many supporting this stance as killing our parents. That is just my own view here. It's devastating. I'm trying hard to not go into the religious aspect, cos as Christians, ... lemme not.

Errr....because you are you, and not your parents. You live your life, not your parents' life. This regressive mindset is the reason Africa's population keeps exploding unchecked. Everybody must marry, and have 5 kids like their parents did. This is why many populations in advanced democracies will remain stable in the coming years (some are are even receding), while Nigeria is expected to hit close to the 1 billion mark at the end of this century: what many economists forecast to be a coming catastrophe for the African continent.
Human beings are highly complex creatures and there are many sources of fulfillment as a human being. Popping out kids is what every animal does and there is nothing special about it. It is not an achievement. Only in this backward, regressive continent are women still measured by how many children they have.

MissRaine69:

Motherhood is a choice it’s not a mandate.
If I do not want to have children that’s between my uterus, my husband and I.

This is like someone saying I have eyes, but its not a mandate to use them to see

lexy2014:

Dote ur nieces from now till next year, wetin no b ur own, no b ur own.

Of course, no be my own. Whoever said they were my own before. Point being that just because one may like kids doesn't mean he or she wants to raise kids. My point was that despite the fact I dote on my nieces, I have no desire for the foreseeable future to raise kids of my own. It's a very big responsibility I am not ready to shoulder because I know the commitment it takes and I often like keeping to myself.
The funny thing is many Nigerians have children without understanding the responsibilities of being parents. People who abuse their children, or can't provide for their children should be prosecuted in ideal world for subjecting children to hardship. Houseboys and housegirls should be abolished (it is human trafficking and child labour which are illegal by international law). Africans need to re-examine the twisted mentality that having children is somehow an achievement as a man or woman. And need to stop putting pressure on young women to do what they want. Quite simply, they need to mind their damn business.

Uyi168:
some kids may end up bringing about the deaths of their parents..

For every one child that causes his/her parents grief a thousand others bring joy to their parents.

You don't even have sense.

Mighti77:
See excuse!

Another Mumu.

kushme:
A woman is this, a woman is that, a woman can be a mother, a woman can't be a mother, don't you know she's is a woman, she is a strong woman, a woman is a weaker vessel, she's a career woman, don't talk to a woman like that, don't hit a woman at all, respect her cos she's a woman..

Vagina and entitlement mentality..

Only the product of a prostitute mother has such irrational thought process as yours.

Snoopyjaga:
Only a hoelosho will abort every baby in the womb Everytime , claiming she doesn't want to have a child ,

Or maybe she don use her early years play match finish and lost her womb .. irresponsible advice

AkpaMgbor:

For every one child that causes his/her parents grief a thousand others bring joy to their parents.

..its safe to say therefore, that kids do not always bring happiness..

trapQ:
You don't even have sense.

Hmmm, prove your own sense! Ode.

Obi1kenobi:


Of course, no be my own. Whoever said they were my own before. Point being that just because one may like kids doesn't mean he or she wants to raise kids. My point was that despite the fact I dote on my nieces, I have no desire for the foreseeable future to raise kids of my own. It's a very big responsibility I am not ready to shoulder because I know the commitment it takes and I often like keeping to myself.
The funny thing is many Nigerians have children without understanding the responsibilities of being parents. People who abuse their children, or can't provide for their children should be prosecuted in ideal world for subjecting children to hardship. Houseboys and housegirls should be abolished (it is human trafficking and child labour which are illegal by international law). Africans need to re-examine the twisted mentality that having children is somehow an achievement as a man or woman. And need to stop putting pressure on young women to do what they want. Quite simply, they need to mind their damn business.

What proportion of Nigerians don't understand d responsibilities of being parents and what proportion understand d responsibilities? 4d fact that some don't understand these responsibilities, does that make parenting a no go area? From what I can deduce is that u choose to look at d subject from a negative perspective. I always tell people 4d fact that planes have crashed, it hasn't stopped people from flying. If u feel people don't no d responsibilities of parenting, that's them. Y don't u learn those responsibilities as I believe there abound parents who equally understand those responsibilities. U have chosen a negative perspective that's y u are interpreting it that way.

Children grow with time. I don't no how well u have interacted with whites, but don't b deceived, those guys procreate and they start very early, sometimes in their teens. They might not have as many as we do, don't let anyone deceive u that whites or westerners don't like having kids. So when I say wetin no b ur no b ur own, is that it will get 2a time, all u will b is a spectator

Unless you don't want to ever get married, but as long as you're married, your husband will expect you to bear him a child but if you both decide to adopt, that's fine.

There's no way a man will plant an orange seed and expect it not to produce fruit though.

MissRaine69:
Because she does not want to.

That's not a reason

daveP:
Why are women of nowadays quick to jump on this hapiness is importanter thing and refuse to acknowledge that having kids is part of happiness?

She's a Christian, and perhaps she reads the Bible that says "Happy is the man who has his quiver fulllll of them"

Pls help break down.

I'm not saying na by force but when did this start? Is this one wisdom like this?

Asides complications, having kids is part of happiness!!

It is a source of happiness. Women who don’t have kids can have other sources of happiness.

Do you nse ekpe etim.

lexy2014:


What proportion of Nigerians don't understand d responsibilities of being parents and what proportion understand d responsibilities? 4d fact that some don't understand these responsibilities, does that make parenting a no go area? From what I can deduce is that u choose to look at d subject from a negative perspective. I always tell people 4d fact that planes have crashed, it hasn't stopped people from flying. If u feel people don't no d responsibilities of parenting, that's them. Y don't u learn those responsibilities as I believe there abound parents who equally understand those responsibilities. U have chosen a negative perspective that's y u are interpreting it that way.

Children grow with time. I don't no how well u have interacted with whites, but don't b deceived, those guys procreate and they start very early, sometimes in their teens. They might not have as many as we do, don't let anyone deceive u that whites or westerners don't like having kids. So when I say wetin no b ur no b ur own, is that it will get 2a time, all u will b is a spectator

Ask the parents of millions of almajiris in the North whether they understood their responsibilities as parents. Ask the parents of millions of children in Nigeria who are houseboys and housegirls whether they understood their responsibilities. Ask those police constables and army recruits who may earn like N50,000 a month, and still have like 6 or 7 children. Many Nigerians have children because of their high libido (with no attendant use of birth control methods) and general ignorance to the massive responsibility that having children entails.

You would note that I am not dissuading anyone from having children, or saying there is anything bad about it, or generalizing that all Nigerian parents are somehow irresponsible. Merely pointing out that for those who don't want to have children, others should mind their business. Nigeria has one of the highest fertility rates in the world (a ridiculous 5.53 births per woman) which every economist concedes is dangerous for our economy. Compare this with most developed nations with less than 2 births (which is the ideal replacement population to maintain a steady population) with countries like South Korea having as low as 1.17 births per woman. We are not lacking for children in the society. If anything we need less kids in our society many of whom will not be well equipped for a productive future because their impoverished parents chose to irresponsibly breed like rats.

If any women don't want kids, Nigerians need to learn to mind their business. Every woman must not be sheep who follows other women to do the same things even if it brings them unhappiness. It's extremely irritating watching many Nigerians harass women who are unmarried or have no kids. I don't understand why Nigerians simply can't mind their businesses and everyone gossips like market women.

daveP:
An option? Wow. So based on law of probability, you're one of the kids that were lucky to be born cos your parents wish it to be? This is getting funnier. How dyu justify that when one is totally capable of reproduction? How pls, I wanna know?



This mentality/mindset is faulty cos the regard for time and hormones(the crave to wean a kid) will shatter such.


I wonder how one wants to spend the rest of his or her life with their lover for the next 50yrs and above and not have one kid to at least scatter the house.


Our Parents never had this mentality!!!

Why is it such a difficult thing for you to process? It’s not alien technology. A man or woman can choose not to have a child. Millions exits who have made that choice.

nifty60:

That's not a reason

It is a very valid reason. It’s called choice. The choice of choosing not to have a child. It will be recognised legally since parenthood is not a fundamental right.

udemzyudex:
Unless you don't want to ever get married, but as long as you're married, your husband will expect you to bear him a child but if you both decide to adopt, that's fine.

There's no way a man will plant an orange seed and expect it not to produce fruit though.

Bollocks .....that’s an archaic notion. There are black people who choose not have children.
Black Nigerians at that.

Obi1kenobi:


Ask the parents of millions of almajiris in the North whether they understood their responsibilities as parents. Ask the parents of millions of children in Nigeria who are houseboys and housegirls whether they understood their responsibilities. Ask those police constables and army recruits who may earn like N50,000 a month, and still have like 6 or 7 children. Many Nigerians have children because of their high libido (with no attendant use of birth control methods) and general ignorance to the massive responsibility that having children entails.

You would note that I am not dissuading anyone from having children, or saying there is anything bad about it, or generalizing that all Nigerian parents are somehow irresponsible. Merely pointing out that for those who don't want to have children, others should mind their business. Nigeria has one of the highest fertility rates in the world (a ridiculous 5.53 births per woman) which every economist concedes is dangerous for our economy. Compare this with most developed nations with less than 2 births (which is the ideal replacement population to maintain a steady population) with countries like South Korea having as low as 1.17 births per woman. We are not lacking for children in the society. If anything we need less kids in our society many of whom will not be well equipped for a productive future because their impoverished parents chose to irresponsibly breed like rats.

If any women don't want kids, Nigerians need to learn to mind their business. Every woman must not be sheep who follows other women to do the same things even if it brings them unhappiness. It's extremely irritating watching many Nigerians harass women who are unmarried or have no kids. I don't understand why Nigerians simply can't mind their businesses and everyone gossips like market women.

I was expecting u 2 put a figure to it. If there are alimanjiris born by irresponsible parents, are there no kids born of responsible parents? If there are constables who have 6,7 kids are there not those who have less? Many Nigerians have kids due to high libido. D teenage pregnancies recorded in d US, isn't it a result of high libido? U think its only Nigeria we have these issues and u think in d west they are all good parents?

U keep saying many Nigerians don't understand d responsibility of parenting. Are there not those who understand these responsibilities? If someone had an accident with a car, does that make having a car a bad thing? Cars are adding more fumes 2d atmosphere like never b4 but I haven't seen anyone say am not going 2 buy a car.

I think it is impolite 2 ask a couple y they don't have kids. They might b having issues and bringing it up is uncalled 4. I had a colleague who was married but no kids. I never 4 once discussed or heard anyone discuss about her childlessness. It depends on where u are. Some people do these things out of spite. Some out of genuine concern. It even extends 2 other areas, not just child bearing & marriage

MissRaine69:

It is a very valid reason. It’s called choice. The choice of choosing not to have a child. It will be recognised legally since parenthood is not a fundamental right.

It's well

Why don't you have this COMMON sense this boy


Child of a retired smelling fish hoelosho

I can offer your hoe mother a job useless idiot, I see she's having a hard time raising you her useless son

trapQ:
Only the product of a prostitute mother has such irrational thought process as yours.

MissRaine69:

Bollocks .....that’s an archaic notion. There are black people who choose not have children.
Black Nigerians at that.

Are you asking a question?

boringnigerian:
Tell them!

And tell them again!

Africans and, specifically, Nigerians like to make it look like once you have kids, all your problems are over and you'll be happy forever. They don't even care whether you can take care of those kids and will have time for them. And if you can't, they won't take care of the kids either. Instead, they would call you a bad parsnt and all sorts of names.

In truth, some people's problems and unhappiness start when they have kids and never end till they die.

See, if you want kids and find happiness in kids, have them, as many as you can take care of comfortably. If not, please DO NOT!!!

Truth, I know some of them.

MissRaine69:

Why is it such a difficult thing for you to process? It’s not alien technology. A man or woman can choose not to have a child. Millions exits who have made that choice.

Lol. I get now. You have no answers to my questions + your inability to backup your stats and prove em. So I'd simply end it here. thanks for your time. very revealing!!

Obi1kenobi:


Errr....because you are you, and not your parents. You live your life, not your parents' life. This regressive mindset is the reason Africa's population keeps exploding unchecked. Everybody must marry, and have 5 kids like their parents did. This is why many populations in advanced democracies will remain stable in the coming years (some are are even receding), while Nigeria is expected to hit close to the 1 billion mark at the end of this century: what many economists forecast to be a coming catastrophe for the African continent.
Human beings are highly complex creatures and there are many sources of fulfillment as a human being. Popping out kids is what every animal does and there is nothing special about it. It is not an achievement. Only in this backward, regressive continent are women still measured by how many children they have.

Lol it gets even more funnier.


Now you can't disprove what I'm saying, so you had to hop onto population explosion in Africa. Wow. Very Impressive.

Not like I'm even saying reproduction to give numbers is a must. But now that you've gone as far as China when I'm still in Nigeria....