hero2000:
By Olusola Aladejebi

One of the exam questions for a 3 year old nursery 1 boy is: Who pays your school fees? Now, in the social awareness class, the pupils had been taught the family and the ‘roles’ of each member. Daddy’s role is to pay school fees. But there is a problem. This boy’s father is a not a responsible man. The boy’s education (and that of his older one) has been the responsibility of the mother. To his exam question, at first, the boy replied that father pays his school fees (according to what he had been taught). After a moment, he corrected himself, and said mother pays school fees. His teacher pondered his response and marked him correct anyway!

Although in most urban families, school fees come from both parents, teaching that father pays fees is meant to introduce his role as provider to little children. Some may criticize such social awareness curriculum as parochial and not updated enough to reflect ‘modern day reality’. They ask, ‘what if the child is a raised by a single parent—mother?’ But we must recall that for little children we must keep it simple; no complications and complexities. It is this ‘modern day reality’ that is the concern.

If a phenomenon occurs only very rarely, it can be discounted and we can safely generalize the vast majority. We teach children that humans have 5 fingers per hand. But we also know that some babies were born with 6 fingers in one or both hands. We don’t bother to teach this because such happens so rarely. The ‘problem’ with teaching little children that, “father pays school fees”, is that the contrary is becoming common—Irresponsible husbands, baby mama phenomenon, divorcee, and worst of all, LGBT. On the whole, homes are becoming broken and more broken. The forces fragmenting families are remorseless—they won’t abate as far as I can see. To have a working love-filled family is becoming an exception rather than the rule.

There is no way we can wish away the crisis in family life. The implications of this crisis affects us every day. Children must be born. If they are unfortunate to be brought up in a dysfunctional setting, the world has added to the number of potential mischief-makers. Potential money ritualist. Potential terrorist. Potential child rapist. Potential treasury looter.

The cases of irresponsible husbands/fathers are now alarming. They are comfortable that the woman is the breadwinner and are not eager to end the imbalance. Some of them even maltreat the poor woman sweating to provide for the household. In some cases the wife comes to a point where she can no longer put up with his irresponsible behaviour and off she goes—separation or divorce.

Irresponsibility in a man is not first a financial fact. It is primarily a state of mind. Refusal to provide for the family is the outshoot. At the same time, a man could be able to provide for his ‘dependencies’ and yet be irresponsible. Many young music stars have about 4 baby mamas—4 children from 4 women and married to none! Since they are millionaires sending money to these children’s mothers is no big deal. But money won’t provide internal security to the children; it won’t be a source of guidance; it won’t give that heart-felt love that emanates from a father to his children.

Several research has shown that children who are raised by 2 parents, who are both responsible and dedicated, usually perform well in school. Not only that, the risk for emotional and behavioural problems are lower among children in 2-parent households on average. Crime statistics show that people from stable families are much less likely to be involved in crime than those from fragmented homes.

As much as it indeed better for a child to be raised in a 2-parent family, there is a caveat. They must both be responsible and dedicated. In some cases it is much better to be raised by a single parent than some 2-parent households. A household that has an abusive husband/father is damaging to the psyche of any child. Spouse violence, either mutual or one-sided, could lead to depression and low self-esteem in children.

The good old traditional family is one in which the father takes responsibility for his family. He looks out for the wife and children. In short, he is the head of the family. Now, does that mean he must out earn his wife? No, not necessarily. If husband is a teacher and wife is a medical doctor, all things being equal, wife would earn more than her man; or a situation in which the man is (temporarily) unemployed while the wife has a job. But this financial fact should not prevent him from taking responsibility for his wife and children. This awkward situation in which the man is not a contributor to the family upkeep can be very trying. This has led to many marital breakups. Some women believe that once they earn more than their husbands they get ‘promoted’ to headship of the family. But if managed wisely this situation could result in greater mutual respect for each other. The man may use this period to discover others way of showing love to his wife apart from providing money. And hopefully when he starts to earn again, he still continues in his hard times discoveries.

There is no need to discuss homosexual unions. Children raised in such places are denied an essential component of our common humanity. It would never result in a good outcome.

http://mouthpiece.com.ng/families-to-the-frying-pan-and-to-the-fire/

Very biased kill all men mentality. Are there no bad women and mothers out there two? The problem with society is not just a challenge caused by irresponsible fathers, it is a catastrophe occasioned by bad parenting. I hate this propaganda of "only irresponsible men hurt society" irresponsible women hurt society too. Humans have been degraded over the years, it is not a gender issue.

What is complicated about telling a child that her parents provide for the family? It is true for most working class homes and certainly the true reflection of the homes your pupils come from.

Kudos

As long as man continues to accepts satan's advice that man can be like God "deciding for himself wat is right and wrong" (Genesis 3:4,5) and reject God's standards of right and wrong, life would always be chaotic for man. Man cannot guide or govern himself, that's why the bible at Jeremiah 10:23 says: "I well know, O Jehovah, that man’s way does not belong to him.It does not belong to man who is walking even to direct his step".
This is why those who always adhere to God's words, sincerely, would always have peace because God knows wats best for us, just like parents know wats best for their kids. That's why the bible says at Psalms 19:7 says: "The law of Jehovah is perfect, restoring strength. The reminder of Jehovah is trustworthy, making the inexperienced one wise".
Until we stop this attitude of "I know wat I want", "I can do whatever I want". "I expect a man to take me as I am"......bla bla bla, and accept God's standards of things, we would suffer the misleading acts of satan, according to revelation 12:9: "So down the great dragon was hurled, the original serpent, the one called Devil and Satan, who is misleading the entire inhabited earth; he was hurled down to the earth, and his angels were hurled down with him".
One may ask: "what then is God's standards for a family"? Jesus Christ said this at John 13:17: "If you know these things, happy you are if you do them".
So it's a must that a person who accepts God's standards of wat a mate shld be like, wen one should have a mate, wat are the things needed as a family, how married mates should treat one another, etc. These rules are in the bible. Have u read them? Do u understand and accept them?

DavidEsq:
As long as man continues to accepts satan's advice that man can be like God "deciding for himself wat is right and wrong" (Genesis 3:4,5) and reject God's standards of right and wrong, life would always be chaotic for man. Man cannot guide or govern himself, that's why the bible at Jeremiah 10:23 says: "I well know, O Jehovah, that man’s way does not belong to him.It does not belong to man who is walking even to direct his step".
This is why those who always adhere to God's words, sincerely, would always have peace because God knows wats best for us, just like parents know wats best for their kids. That's why the bible says at Psalms 19:7 says: "The law of Jehovah is perfect, restoring strength. The reminder of Jehovah is trustworthy, making the inexperienced one wise".
Until we stop this attitude of "I know wat I want", "I can do whatever I want". "I expect a man to take me as I am"......bla bla bla, and accept God's standards of things, we would suffer the misleading acts of satan, according to revelation 12:9: "So down the great dragon was hurled, the original serpent, the one called Devil and Satan, who is misleading the entire inhabited earth; he was hurled down to the earth, and his angels were hurled down with him".
One may ask: "what then is God's standards for a family"? Jesus Christ said this at John 13:17: "If you know these things, happy you are if you do them".
So it's a must that a person who accepts God's standards of wat a mate shld be like, wen one should have a mate, wat are the things needed as a family, how married mates should treat one another, etc. These rules are in the bible. Have u read them? Do u understand and accept them?

You case is even worst Satan this Satan that

Fash20:
We live in an era of Gender equality... Fathers and mothers have equal right and responsiblities.

Are you sure? Pride and ergo wouldn't let this happen

asuustrike1:

Are you sure? Pride and ergo wouldn't let this happen

Yes sir. I'm sure

kazyhm:



You case is even worst Satan this Satan that

Oluwaseunsodiq:
I believe it's because the society has laid way too much emphasis on marriage. You don't have to be married to live a fulfilled life.

But to feel FULLfilled you need to be married. Mashallow hierarchy theory.

ypeace:
Several research has shown that children who are raised by 2 parents, who are both responsible and dedicated, usually perform well in school. Not only that, the risk for emotional and behavioural problems are lower among children in 2-parent households on average. Crime statistics show that people from stable families are much less likely to be involved in crime than those from fragmented homes.


@op or anyone, please I am interested in the result of these research and statistics. Links to them will be appreciated.

Thanks.

Just look around you and observe.

With the advent of SO MUCH emphasis on Money, where a man's worth is measured by how much he earns, where the likes of degenerates like wizkid,davido,olamide,tuface,flavour are now role models in our society,a situation where bobrisky,miracle,nina are celebrated and elevated above people with good morals and standards, the family institution will continue be dragged in the mud.

Fash20:
We live in an era of Gender equality... Fathers and mothers have equal right and responsiblities.

a very interesting quote here...sm women feel once the man can't measure up in providing for d family...all hell shd be let lose..if d woman provide for d home kini big deal

MahatmaGhandi:


Very biased kill all men mentality. Are there no bad women and mothers out there two? The problem with society is not just a challenge caused by irresponsible fathers, it is a catastrophe occasioned by bad parenting. I hate this propaganda of "only irresponsible men hurt society" irresponsible women hurt society too. Humans have been degraded over the years, it is not a gender issue.

nna ee we are human before male or female...our society has wahala a woman marry even wen she has no economic value but no qualms but if man does same the world take notice...a man is d bread winner doing gud job provide for d home set up his wife in business...no issue but later d man doesn't Earn much d wife is doing most responsibilities hell is let lose...d society forget wen d man was doing well all de see is a weak irresponsible man...

SOFTDRINK:
With the advent of SO MUCH emphasis on Money, where a man's worth is measured by how much he earns, where the likes of degenerates like wizkid,davido,olamide,tuface,flavour are now role models in our society,a situation where bobrisky,miracle,nina are celebrated and elevated above people with good morals and standards, the family institution will continue be dragged in the mud.

That's just it. In a society where it is difficult to talk about morality, virginity etc., money being at the center, misconstrued feminism on the rise and the men became less secure because they've lost what they felt made them men; all the men could do is to live irresponsibly while the women get drunk in what the society has given them. The entire family suffers and the nation becomes sick!

OP, I love your write up, I read it this morning on your facebook page, where someone asked you to paste in on Nairaland.
It's a must read.

Our society is becoming more immoral as the day goes by, but one thing stands sure "we are the architect of our fortune/misfortune"
We all have the power to make our family work, we just need to make the right choice, sustained with right attitude and Godly backing.
As more family morals are erroding, there are still beautiful family out there and people who have determined to make family work.
I just hope YOU reading this will choose to make it work irrespective of YOUR antecedent.

Thoughtful.

Dude, if you know what is going on in America now you will thank God there's still sanity in Nigeria.

Offpoint:
Humanity is fücked-up beyond redemption. I wish asteroid the size of earth moon can just hit the earth and wipe out her inhabitants and make ways for whatever animal that will survive the impact and aftermath.
Whatever purpose humans were put here on earth for was long defeated and deviated.

I wish the Bible trumpet is blown,
I wish the predicted WW3 can just happen
.

The men inserting their díck into any available hole not minding the outcome, the females are opening up their vaginäs anyhow like Hell gate without minding the future CONSEQUENCIES.
Now we have countless Bastards roaming the streets constituting nuisance just to survive...

Seems you didn't read the post. It has been proven beyond reasonable doubt that children born out of wedlock are more likely to end up as liabilities to the society.

Oluwaseunsodiq:
I believe it's because the society has laid way too much emphasis on marriage. You don't have to be married to live a fulfilled life.

Gleefreak125:
Family values have been lost for some time now. In fact, the country is lost at the moment with no particular goal or direction. What's baffling is the rate at which this decadence is happening. Too many woke and irresponsible boys and girls everywhere with misplaced priorities. Many lost their values growing up, they were taught right but the Internet and other factors influenced them negatively. Nigeria and the whole world is a lost cause till we return to the foundation and purpose of creation.

GBAM!!!!!!

hansomb:

Just look around you and observe.

Looking around is not convincing enough... Looking around with specific scientific data to back it up will be more convincing, don't you think?

bigkahuna704:
This Is Why There Are A Lot Of UnStable Individuals Out The. Society Is Changing So Fast We Can Hardly Keep Up. Just When You Think You Have Seen It All, Something Surprises You.

yea

the family unit has been compromised

hansomb:

But to feel FULLfilled you need to be married. Mashallow hierarchy theory.

Keep on deceiving and brainwashing yourself by yourself.

This is just the beginning. I wonder how our world will be in 20 years time.
Being irresponsible is norm and accepted.
I wonder the world our children will live in.
Honestly we are in the end of days

Omudia11:
Dude, if you know what is going on in America now you will thank God there's still sanity in Nigeria.

Bro gist us abeg, ,,,we are open to learning

helinues:
Love is blind but Na for marriage eyes dey open.

People are too busy to get to know more about their partners before saying I do.

Only few people has wisen up now, I already told my partner. No financial stability, No serious courtship or marriage, Talkless of having Kids. The financial part Is even the tip of of the Ice-berg one would encounter In marriage Just to cut it short. Nothing is worth It again. Earth has lost it true value and mandate.

djon78:
This is just the beginning. I wonder how our world will be in 20 years time.
Being irresponsible is norm and accepted.
I wonder the world our children will live in.
Honestly we are in the end of days

And one thing I know Nigeria's for is their over Sabi
Or should I say black people in general both black Americans,
There was a story I read on dstv of how a black Americans hooks me up and usually end up pregnant and end everything on divorce, she has done dis move to 5 different men, so she has approximately 5kids for 5 different men all paying for child support, she doesn't work just stay at home waiting for all d papa's to send child support money, same thing Kim Kardashian mother too married to 3-5 different husband, woman matter na dictionary

Fash20:
We live in an era of Gender equality... Fathers and mothers have equal right and responsiblities.

ode, when last you carry pregnancy? our role can never be equal, women do more

Gleefreak125:
Family values have been lost for some time now. In fact, the country is lost at the moment with no particular goal or direction. What's baffling is the rate at which this decadence is happening. Too many woke and irresponsible boys and girls everywhere with misplaced priorities. Many lost their values growing up, they were taught right but the Internet and other factors influenced them negatively. Nigeria and the whole world is a lost cause till we return to the foundation and purpose of creation.

I agree with most of what you said

apart from this part

"They were taught right"

That's a lie

Most Nigerians were not taught right.

Beating kids like goats is not equivalent to teaching right.

xendra:
ode, when last you carry pregnancy? our role can never be equal, women do more

Lol... Its no longer equal right for both sexes, Its now "women do more".

Maybe we should be worshiping you.

MahatmaGhandi:


Very biased kill all men mentality. Are there no bad women and mothers out there two? The problem with society is not just a challenge caused by irresponsible fathers, it is a catastrophe occasioned by bad parenting. I hate this propaganda of "only irresponsible men hurt society" irresponsible women hurt society too. Humans have been degraded over the years, it is not a gender issue.

you have said it all.

Irresponsible people every where

xendra:
ode, when last you carry pregnancy? our role can never be equal, women do more

what does bring pregnant have to do with anything

Men are not biologically designed to carry babies

So that does not count

mogbojaiye:


And one thing I know Nigeria's for is their over Sabi
Or should I say black people in general both black Americans,
There was a story I read on dstv of how a black Americans hooks me up and usually end up pregnant and end everything on divorce, she has done dis move to 5 different men, so she has approximately 5kids for 5 different men all paying for child support, she doesn't work just stay at home waiting for all d papa's to send child support money, same thing Kim Kardashian mother too married to 3-5 different husband, woman matter na dictionary

Ah that one na normal thing for black Americans. You go see one woman born for many different men and be collecting child support. Na from them babymama was learnt by our celebrities.

What is still keeping some of us sane is our parents example. Because a lot of our parents had good marriages. My parents have lived in peace together for 40 years.

So we have no reason not to be responsible