₦airaland Forum

Thanks everyone, am happy that i will be more than 1,000km away from her, my company has transferred me to Abuja,I just received my letter now.

Hmmm.

Op, why not just separate from her for a longer period than to divorce.?

In the course of separation, I believe you both will realize your fualts and work on your differences.

Just separate first, if after it, you guys still feel you want divorce, then, you can start looking for lawyers.

Don't give up on that marriage yet biko.

She called me for dowry refund and I asked her how can I be seeing my child,she said I can come to her church to see my child.

Last year December to be precise, December 16th, 2018 I went to her church and my parents( Mama and Papa) said they want to come see the child too,so they came along.On getting to the church she called her her brothers to come with area boys and they beat me and my parents in the church,she filmed it and sent to my elder sister.

This one is Strong,did you guys date at all.you married a Thug

samguru:
She called me for dowry refund and I asked her how can I be seeing my child,she said I can come to her church to see my child.

Last year December to be precise, December 16th, 2018 I went to her church and my parents( Mama and Papa) said they want to come see the child too,so they came along.On getting to the church she called her her brothers to come with area boys and they beat me and my parents in the church,she filmed it and sent to my elder sister.

samguru:
She called me for dowry refund and I asked her how can I be seeing my child,she said I can come to her church to see my child.

Last year December to be precise, December 16th, 2018 I went to her church and my parents( Mama and Papa) said they want to come see the child too,so they came along.On getting to the church she called her her brothers to come with area boys and they beat me and my parents in the church,she filmed it and sent to my elder sister.

Where did you see this woman to marry sef? Na wa

Involve social welfare and modafucking police. You have every right to see your child and even have joint custody.

It's very obvious you married a tigress and a wild woman...

You need to free yourself from her as soon as you can

I ran into this my baby mama yesterday at a function (wedding reception) and she started doing her things(madness) and this culminated to a point where she smashed my car windscreen with a stick.
When she was asked what she wants,she said I have embarrassed her with the divorce and that she must revenge.

House,my life is not safe again what should I do,can I relocate to another country for safety cos I don't want to take this matter up legally cos of media coverage

samguru:
I ran into this my baby mama yesterday at a function (wedding reception) and she started doing her things(madness) and this culminated to a point where she smashed my car windscreen with a stick.
When she was asked what she wants,she said I have embarrassed her with the divorce and that she must revenge.

House,my life is not safe again what should I do,can I relocate to another country for safety cos I don't want to take this matter up legally cos of media coverage

Na wah o! Is it possible for someone to change drastically like this? You surely must have seen signs before you married her didn't you? I don't think we are getting the full story o.

Anyway, you are still asking if you should relocate to another country! If you have the means to relocate, by all means do!! What kind of man are you!!!
Well, let me not have HBP on a fake story cos I don't think this story is true. No human being is this clueless.

Bro...not in the medical nor legal profession..... but from what I learned along the way...your wife may be suffering from postpartum depression. Most likely if this change of behaviour started during pregnancy or right after. Stress can be prolonging the situation. From what you wrote.... your means of communication...phones...laptops....and money stress her the most. I want to believe in her mind....on the phone/laptop you are chatting with side chicks...she believes you are cheating on her..... money is never enough not because you never have it but because you are giving it to the side chicks. This can be true especially if she was the possessive type before marriage when all things were bright and beautiful.
What you should be most worried about is the safety of the baby since your wife is pretty much going through a period of temporary insanity. Divorce is not the solution. You take yourself out of the home...she will get worse. She will just confirm the thoughts she was beating. Really...she needs you the most at this phase. I suggest you Google postpartum...read up on it....and you will be in a much better position to know how to manage her.

hardbody:
It's a pity about your story. Permit me to ask, what marriage did you both contract, was it just customary or did you seal it at a court's registry, or in the court where you were given a marriage certificate. The nature of the marriage will determine the approach to deploy. If it was a customary marriage, approach a customary court in the jurisdiction where you both reside and in your claim for divorce indicate the fact that your wife is not fit to keep the child and that you seek to retain the child in his or her best interest. If it's a marriage at the registry or recognized church, you will need to file a divorce proceeding, however, separation is legally allowed for you two to calm your nerves down and reassess your earlier intentions. Generally speaking, under the Matrimonial Causes Act, you cannot seek to get a divorce on a marriage that is less than 3yrs but there are extenuating circumstances under which exceptions can be granted.

Essentially you need to determine whether divorce is the best option and then involve a lawyer.

As has been said before, divorce takes a bit of time, you may need to work with the welfare to secure the upkeep of your child in the interim.

You may send me a mail for some guidance but as a matter of personal principle, i do not support or handle divorce proceedings.

Bro, are you practicing in Lagos

.

samguru:
I still have some some which i can disclose here, cos she is constantly on nairaland, anybody willing to help i will provide an email where i can discuss the whole issue in full.

so you brought our marriage issues here right Why do Nigerian men thinks that a woman will just wake up one morning and turn to a demon ah make una fear God na.

samguru:
Good Afternoon,

I need assistance of the nairalanders especially the lawyers to guide me through the process of filing a divorce and get my child back.

We got married last june and since i got married to my wife, and since then she has been displaying madness of highest order ranging from destroying my phones, laptop, tearing of money(when i give her incomplete money to buy stuff in the house),removing her clothes(completely unclad) to curse me,looking for bottles and knife to harm me,locking me out of the bedroom and so on.

I have decided to abandon her in the house since a month ago because the way her violence is going it may degenerate to a point where she may mistakenly kill me, and the ways she has been handling the my baby is very disturbing, at times she will throw the baby away just because she wants to fight me.

Please Help me on the procedure to recover my baby because she has taken the baby to her mother who lives in a very dirty environment and bad for good child up brining.

Please help

these are signs of a mental disorder, either BAD or schzophenia. Most likely the latter. I also suspect a personality disorder too. Take her too a psychiatric hospitall first.

eezeribe:
Your wife is paranoid... This is the time she needs you most.opting for divorce is just a reflection of the 21st century marriage... A journey of convenience and pleasure... For better for best.

Not when d other person's life is at stake

what did u do to her that made her started behaving in such manner. u only said your own side of d story....

MissJoy29:
Na wah o! Is it possible for someone to change drastically like this? You surely must have seen signs before you married her didn't you? I don't think we are getting the full story o.

Anyway, you are still asking if you should relocate to another country! If you have the means to relocate, by all means do!! What kind of man are you!!!
Well, let me not have HBP on a fake story cos I don't think this story is true. No human being is this clueless.

Yes I saw these signs buy her pastor kept assuring me she will change,also my mumsy said she will change.

hardbody:
It's a pity about your story. Permit me to ask, what marriage did you both contract, was it just customary or did you seal it at a court's registry, or in the court where you were given a marriage certificate. The nature of the marriage will determine the approach to deploy. If it was a customary marriage, approach a customary court in the jurisdiction where you both reside and in your claim for divorce indicate the fact that your wife is not fit to keep the child and that you seek to retain the child in his or her best interest. If it's a marriage at the registry or recognized church, you will need to file a divorce proceeding, however, separation is legally allowed for you two to calm your nerves down and reassess your earlier intentions. Generally speaking, under the Matrimonial Causes Act, you cannot seek to get a divorce on a marriage that is less than 3yrs but there are extenuating circumstances under which exceptions can be granted.

Essentially you need to determine whether divorce is the best option and then involve a lawyer.

As has been said before, divorce takes a bit of time, you may need to work with the welfare to secure the upkeep of your child in the interim.

You may send me a mail for some guidance but as a matter of personal principle, i do not support or handle divorce proceedings.

Yes, in Lagos, but note my last sentence, please.

Fumiex:
what did u do to her that made her started behaving in such manner. u only said your own side of d story....

When we started dating I noticed these bad attitudes but was thinking it's something I can manage.
Before we consummated our marriage the following things happened.
1. She angrily came to my house in the night(10pm) to ask for the phone I promised to repair for her in the presence of my parents.they we're pleading with her to calm down rather she started threatening that she was here to fight me.My dad pampered her and she left only for her to call next day and begged me for what happened.
2.she was a divorcee, when we were preparing for marriage the counselor asked if my wife has divorce certificate and I put a call through to ask,she started raining courses on me.later in the day her mother called me and started pleading with me and I forgave her.
3.She complained to me about promotion in her office,and I told her to start her master's so that she can use the certificate to negotiate for promotion,the day she went to write the exam I went with her and on our way back I was telling her about my experience in the school and she flagged okada and took a bike leaving me behind.when I eventually found my way home she started begging and said she didn't know what came over her.
4. I was heading to office one day,and I pecked her but what I got in return was to push me away and I fell down, immediately she started begging as usual thinking I was injured.
5.she said if I want peace to reign in the house,I should be worshipping in her church, I obliged but later I told her I can't abandon my church outrighly she fought me for this and said my church is demonic

Many things had happened which I can't even remember,

samguru:
When we started dating I noticed these bad attitudes but was thinking it's something I can manage.
Before we consummated our marriage the following things happened.
1. She angrily came to my house in the night(10pm) to ask for the phone I promised to repair for her in the presence of my parents.they we're pleading with her to calm down rather she started threatening that she was here to fight me.My dad pampered her and she left only for her to call next day and begged me for what happened.
2.she was a divorcee, when we were preparing for marriage the counselor asked if my wife has divorce certificate and I put a call through to ask,she started raining courses on me.later in the day her mother called me and started pleading with me and I forgave her.
3.She complained to me about promotion in her office,and I told her to start her master's so that she can use the certificate to negotiate for promotion,the day she went to write the exam I went with her and on our way back I was telling her about my experience in the school and she flagged okada and took a bike leaving me behind.when I eventually found my way home she started begging and said she didn't know what came over her.
4. I was heading to office one day,and I pecked her but what I got in return was to push me away and I fell down, immediately she started begging as usual thinking I was injured.
5.she said if I want peace to reign in the house,I should be worshipping in her church, I obliged but later I told her I can't abandon my church outrighly she fought me for this and said my church is demonic

Many things had happened which I can't even remember,

Please give someone else the password to your NL account, so the person can upload pictures here... when she finally kills you

samguru:
When we started dating I noticed these bad attitudes but was thinking it's something I can manage.
Before we consummated our marriage the following things happened.
1. She angrily came to my house in the night(10pm) to ask for the phone I promised to repair for her in the presence of my parents.they we're pleading with her to calm down rather she started threatening that she was here to fight me.My dad pampered her and she left only for her to call next day and begged me for what happened.
2.she was a divorcee, when we were preparing for marriage the counselor asked if my wife has divorce certificate and I put a call through to ask,she started raining courses on me.later in the day her mother called me and started pleading with me and I forgave her.
3.She complained to me about promotion in her office,and I told her to start her master's so that she can use the certificate to negotiate for promotion,the day she went to write the exam I went with her and on our way back I was telling her about my experience in the school and she flagged okada and took a bike leaving me behind.when I eventually found my way home she started begging and said she didn't know what came over her.
4. I was heading to office one day,and I pecked her but what I got in return was to push me away and I fell down, immediately she started begging as usual thinking I was injured.
5.she said if I want peace to reign in the house,I should be worshipping in her church, I obliged but later I told her I can't abandon my church outrighly she fought me for this and said my church is demonic

Many things had happened which I can't even remember,

Check this out.

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Most importantly this

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=329294.0

A must watch love story of philomena and Philip!





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kp5-QNqQQg

samguru:
Yes I saw these signs buy her pastor kept assuring me she will change,also my mumsy said she will change.

Oga....trust me, people don't change like that. A drastic positive change most of the times is only possible by God.

Exactly my opinion too. I even feel they shd be separated for at least 6months, few weeks is too short to give up on that marriage.

Their marriage is not even up to one yr.

I feel what they are having is teething problem. If they can pass this stage together, then, nothing will separate them again.

That woman will kill him
Let him go his way now

samguru:
When we started dating I noticed these bad attitudes but was thinking it's something I can manage.
Before we consummated our marriage the following things happened.
1. She angrily came to my house in the night(10pm) to ask for the phone I promised to repair for her in the presence of my parents.they we're pleading with her to calm down rather she started threatening that she was here to fight me.My dad pampered her and she left only for her to call next day and begged me for what happened.
2.she was a divorcee, when we were preparing for marriage the counselor asked if my wife has divorce certificate and I put a call through to ask,she started raining courses on me.later in the day her mother called me and started pleading with me and I forgave her.
3.She complained to me about promotion in her office,and I told her to start her master's so that she can use the certificate to negotiate for promotion,the day she went to write the exam I went with her and on our way back I was telling her about my experience in the school and she flagged okada and took a bike leaving me behind.when I eventually found my way home she started begging and said she didn't know what came over her.
4. I was heading to office one day,and I pecked her but what I got in return was to push me away and I fell down, immediately she started begging as usual thinking I was injured.
5.she said if I want peace to reign in the house,I should be worshipping in her church, I obliged but later I told her I can't abandon my church outrighly she fought me for this and said my church is demonic

Many things had happened which I can't even remember,

Bros, leave while you are alive,or her anger will get you killed.