₦airaland Forum

morningstar55:
I'm learning

Marry this type.
Very disciplined, mature and respectful.
Leg covered
Breast covered
Arms covered.
She's not displaying anything

Your wife does not respect you and also don't love you that much. Women who have sampled too men find it difficult to accept the sanctity of their matrimonial vows.

Please be firm and stand your ground. By the time you send her out twice and back to her family, her brain will re-format. If you take the crap from her, you will permanently loose control of her. She is using her experience to wear you down to take control away from you.

Thinnk deeply.

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

Uyi168:
...
Ur wife exes plenty o..

Honestly it's a cause of concern for the OP, if she had had more sexual exposure, she may just not be mature enough to keep herself under checks anymore.

This is one of the reasons it's better not to marry a partner (especially wives) with too many exes.

But she's really annoyingly bold sha.

"Our Wife"

I just have a feeling she's cheating on you, but you need to get evidence. Give her lots of freedom and try to monitor and catch her red-handed. So you can justifiably divorce her and give her the full freedom she wants. She's acting like she's in a cage.

A woman that passionately loves you will give all her exes red card.

oglalasioux:
All wives are into their past boyfriends. All husbands are into their past girlfriends. That is the way the universe is shaped and there's nothing you or anyone can do about it.

Lies. I don't even have any ex number. Onward March code.

You allowed it at first, now its hard to stop it. You should have prevented it earlier, prevention is better than cure.

Kendumazy:
You need to stop been a good boy to handle her. She's taking advantage of the good man in you.

8GB Atm card flash drive for #1000 only. Check link below

This is exactly my thought. Man you need to man up and be firm. Except your wife is tired of the marriage already.

Bro, if i were you i will give her strong warning not to have anything to do with her ex.If she continue i will not waste anytime to send her to her parents.My life is so important to me. I repeat i will not waste anytime.I cant take it.

Guy you try o… you sit at home dey baby-sit another man pikin while your wife went out to get the second one

Any of my ex girlfriends that visits me at home will not leave unfucked whether she is married or single...I already know the password to 'unlock' all of them

greatnaija01:
You are NOT at fault sir, so pls calm down.

PLS Forgive her.... your wife like most women... does not know the value of the kind of man she has and also she is the immature one.... she has not learned SUBMISSION.... submission is NOT slavery BUT it is letting the man be the HEAD of the HOME... she can only LEARN BY EXPERIENCE... that is the bitter truth.

If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN.

Wisdom to apply now is, allow her but Go with her if you can. If she is not comfortable to go with you then SHE HAS OTHER MOTIVES O.....

also CLONE her PHONE.. so that any sms, calls or whatsapp she receives gets into your own phone too.... then u will be able to really handle this thing from the root. When you gather proper facts and evidencies then u can reveal it to family members or church leaders and they can decide what course of action to take.

YOU do not have to be angry yet because she can still say you are just being too sensitive and over protective. In quiet wisdom any hidden thing can be revealed.

Explain to her in LOVE but have a back up plan.
many people hide so much of their true nature till they marry.... their vision for marriage ends with the wedding reception... afterwards a character they never manifested before begins to show up.

Guy leave all this soft asss bullshiit.

Any woman who has no issues being in PLANNED company of two men (husband inclusive) who have fuccked her has no dignity for marriage and regard for her husband.(Same applies to men too).

Key word - PLANNED.

Married people do not have to have dealings with them exes, there are millions of options in the world.

Ruddyman500, give her the silent treatment. Nothing gets to a woman than silence.


Also stop eating her food. Cook ur meals urself or eat outside.

Thank me later.

I was looking for reasons not to get married, I've found one more... the list is piling up

see as exes plenty like trophy... op na slayqueen you settle down with... they all end up with the good guys.

Normal relationship/marital problem. Women do not know how much and how far we don't share our women. But your wife sounds young and inexperienced, therefore give her controlled experience if and only if you are surely sure she loves you. And expect to see her fall. So you are supposed to be there to see her fall.

Randy100:
Truth be said friend, you are insecure. Trust her for once in your life, if you caught her cheating on you then, you can kick her ass out of the marriage.

Shut the f**k up
By their names we shall know them. Trust kor trust ni

Like you're one of her exes. See as you the champion her infidelity cause

If I don’t see a virgin to marry, I will have like two baby mamas. I can’t marry a girl that I didn’t disvirgin. Some women can’t let go some exes of their minds even after marriage.

@OP

You seem very young and in-experienced in this types of things.

You never allow what you do not want to see no matter the pressure.

Your marriage is still in its formative stage and you are this carefree, she will definately ride on it.

Next time, always let your wife know that who the man is by putting your foot on the ground, otherwise, one day you will find a stranger in your living room.

If you know you know.

My advice will be simple and short..since she still want things with her exes shows how irresponsible she is. She is very lucky she married a good Man that know about her exes, not even one. Sit her down and tell her how uncomfortable u are communicating with her exes
If she doesn't stop then u send her to her parent temporary without informing your family, she will be the one to explain to her family not you.mind you don't rush to beg her.

Since u said "only married people will advise you " let me reserve my comment /advise. just that to marry isn't by force

Bros here is the bitter truth, not all these guys are her ex's some are new guys she meet who are currently servicing her, when a woman talk about space then forget it... She's enjoying a diick better than yours outside... Meanwhile you have to check if that child is really yours, your woman is in love with another guy that's why what ever you say get her angered, bros call family meeting... And have it at the back of your mind that she dey bleep outside... Even as a single guy I have married women disturbing my life... Act fast

Celestial777:
My uncle the bitter truth is that you have jist married an olosho. Perhaps she choose you when others are not ready. She is still interested in street Bleep Bleep parole. How did she know the what's up with all her ex ? She is keeping there contact ni. That is just it.
My uncle my uncle you are not married yet. This woman u call ur wife is just on NYSC in your house. Soon she will serve finish and go.
You are the LGI though.
How can one be driving amd still concentrate on side mirrors. Who does that?
Listen she still dey Bleep around.
My fear is ur own life. Pls act fast

But didn't the OP see all this behaviour during dating time?
This is why it is very important to spend time with your spouse when dating. Go to cinema. Do different activities together. You will surely see her phone WhatsApp and all nonsense she's pressing. Then you can decide whether to marry or abandon.

But una no dey hear. Dating = Sex for you.
Sex is a kind of covenant. Once you sex with someone, you have formed Covent with that person that will affect and messup your head no matter where you run to in this world.

stupidity:
In as much as I hate restricting my girls movement, even to visit an ex or whoever she wants to visit, our ladies are so dumb to know almost every man that comes in contact with them, be it an ex or a new toaster, or wannabe bestie, will grab every opportunity to get her laid.

Just know one thing bro, when an ex visits me, or I ask her to visit me for whatsoever reason. The fvck must be fvcked. Fact#. Talk more of the ex having a bigger dlck than yours, and the said ex can fvck very well. Tell me why she won’t wanna have some when she visits him.

Dem go fvck your wife o. Bros.

Na anyhow ladies just full Nigeria. Who does that??

You've given your advice in a very uncouth manner. The husband/OP won't appreciate reading this...it's his wife we're discussing here.

my friend you married in 2017,
Know that 4-5years of marriage is very difficult period. You guys are trying to tolerate each other . don't be in a hurry to take hash decisions. the older the wine the sweeter

Marriage, Na God fit help person o

Honestly I’m not able to put up with such character and that’s why I let go my marriage because of my sanity and life is far more important. Many of these girls that have lived “the life” want to settle down and get married at all cost and when they do, after a few years they get tired of “keeping up appearances” they see old friends who are still out there and before you know they go back to enjoy “the life” and ultimately affects their marriage in the process. In all honesty marriage is difficult and takes only Gods Grace.

If the OP wants he can/will catch her red handed but hey there are too many “red flags” already.

OK the harm has been done by releasing her to her exs from the very beginning. Now I think you have set the record straight. Please remember to call 5he pastor uncle. She needs serious advice from the relatives she respects.
Guy I like your anger control. Abeg no beat am for any reason ooo. If after advice from respectable counselors she is still fraternising with exes then do the needful... Send am letter before he kill you before your time

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

Bros before anything Go hide do DNA Test with your kids oooo

PrimadonnaO:
You've given your advice in a very uncouth manner. The husband/OP won't appreciate reading this...it's his wife we're discussing here.

yes it’s his wife we discussing, what of the wife is putting up a hoeing attitude? Tell him the truth abeg.


I say things the way it is.

I broke up with an ex because of this reason thank God I been never marry her because murder would have been the case

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

Sincerely your wife thinks she did you a favour by marrying you. Act fast otherwise you may end up becoming a virtuous man in your marriage.

She is arrogant and naive ,give her a long rope to tied up herself to the point of parking out of your house which I know she will do it,once she Doe's that, don't make any attempt to call her back nor allow her to come back.