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My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends - Family - Nairaland

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My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by lacapine: 1:25am On Apr 05, 2019
I have a 17 years old maid who would be 18 in June. She came when she was 12 and she is like family now. She is in SS1. My problem is her issues with boys. Always keeping boyfriends of which I discourage her big time. Had to ask her why she keeps them, she said because her classmates/ friends have boyfriends.

I have screamed and threatened but she will still keep. What am I doing wrong? Should I allow her just keep them? I teach her sex education though but she says she isn't sexually active. Today, I saw the picture she and the guy posted on facebook holding each other. I lost it today. I flogged and punished her. I'm I being too hard? How do I help her? We wanted to help her till university days but with these, we are scared and reconsidering sending her back after ss3.

How best do I handle this situation.

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Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by fastseo: 1:31am On Apr 05, 2019
Just advice her and not because of that send her back.
Not necessarily flogging but advice and prayer and she will be fine.

45 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by lacapine: 1:36am On Apr 05, 2019
fastseo:
Just advice her and not because of that send her back.
Not necessarily flogging but advice and prayer and she will be fine.
okay. Been doing that. This evening hubby came back late and sent her and Hubby's nephew staying with us to buy something. She branched to her friend's place and when Hubby's nephew was telling her that they should hurry back, she was reluctant and he just came home my himself. The effrontery!

105 Likes 1 Share

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by waleyp(m): 2:41am On Apr 05, 2019
You have done your own part, you can’t kill yourself na, just leave her to do whatever as per say you don try your best, inform her parents, it will be bad if she gets pregnant under your watch...

317 Likes 16 Shares

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by dingbang(m): 4:13am On Apr 05, 2019
Las las you will soon have a pregnant maid under your own roof.


If she cannot obey you as her employer then she should be sent to live with the boyfriend who she is frolicking with.

277 Likes 14 Shares

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by GboyegaD(m): 5:12am On Apr 05, 2019
Manage her till the end of 3rd term which is another 3-4months. Before then, take your time to have a heart to heart discussion with her what your concerns are and how you would have to let her go back to her parents after this session since she is hell bent on living a life you are not comfortable with. If she doesn't change, send her back to her parents after the session before people ask you insulting questions should anything happen to her. Also, let her know you beat her because you sent her on errand and she was expected to return home and then seek permission before going to see her friends. This is needed so that the friends do not confuse her with the lies that you do not want her to enjoy the good things in sex is why you are restricting her.

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Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by TheGiftedOne(m): 5:15am On Apr 05, 2019
shocked shocked shocked


Just kindly return as collected. Her parents sent you one person, don't return 2 or even three. You're not multiplication table.


grin grin grin

415 Likes 38 Shares

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by sisisioge: 6:38am On Apr 05, 2019
Return her immediately. All these plenty stories sef. She's gotten to the point where she's forgotten why she's in your house so much so that she openly disrespects you and your hubby(keeping bfs against your will is disrespect, branching off the course of an assignment and leaving a partner to return alone is disrespect). Biko return her...she's over stayed her welcome. Maybe going back home will help advise her.

179 Likes 10 Shares

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by sisisioge: 6:39am On Apr 05, 2019
GboyegaD:
Manage her till the end of NECO which is another 2months. Before then, take your time to have a heart to heart discussion with her what your concerns are and how you would have to let her go back to her parents after NECO since she is hell bent on living a life you are not comfortable with. If she doesn't change, send her back to her parents after NECO before people ask you insulting questions should anything happen to her. Also, let her know you beat her because you sent her on errand and she was expected to return home and then seek permission before going to see her friends. This is needed so that the friends do not confuse her with the lies that you do not want her to enjoy the good things in sex is why you are restricting her.

She's in SS1, Neco is until SS2 or SS3 fa.

4 Likes

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by ireneidiva(f): 6:47am On Apr 05, 2019
lacapine:
okay. Been doing that. This evening hubby came back late and sent her and Hubby's nephew staying with us to buy something. She branched to her friend's place and when Hubby's nephew was telling her that they should hurry back, she was reluctant and he just came home my himself. The effrontery!
Stop flogging someone's child. If you can no longer handle her, send her back to her parents. Beating her is just wicked. Injure her and it becomes a police case.

32 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by Nobody: 6:48am On Apr 05, 2019
Person go just use hin hand miss opportunity. Send her back ahe would learn

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Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by UjuJoan2: 7:14am On Apr 05, 2019
I don't subscribe to flogging an 18 year old. If you can no longer control her then send her home.

For me just one thing is important here? Is she still useful to you? Does she still render required services? If yes, then just ignore her. Stop paying too much attention to her social life. But don't miss any opportunity to define to her that if she gets pregnant she will be sent back to her parents ASAP. Just so she is sure of the implications of her actions.

Then you need to inform her parents of what she is doing and the efforts you have made to stop her, and her continuous flouting of rules. Also let them know that you have decided to stop talking about her waywardness since they keep falling on deaf ears, and lastly let them know your plan of returning her if she gets pregnant.. Just so they can start preparing their minds.

Don't give yourself high BP. The fact that you are not her mother already makes you the enemy. She will not believe you mean well for her, rather her adventurous mind will interprete your concerns as a way of preventing her from having fun. At this point, there is not much you can do to change that. She will come to the realization on her own when she is ready

Just let her be!

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Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by Triniti(m): 7:15am On Apr 05, 2019
Return as collected Asap! Next thing now is pregnancy

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Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by GboyegaD(m): 8:02am On Apr 05, 2019
sisisioge:


She's in SS1, Neco is until SS2 or SS3 fa.

Funny enough, thought I read SS3. That one tough ooo
Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by NwaAmichi: 12:48pm On Apr 05, 2019
return as collected. she has overstayed her welcome. She'll only end up bringing enmity between you and her parents.

12 Likes

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by highalliance: 12:48pm On Apr 05, 2019
You shouldn't have employed a domestic help younger than 18 in the first place, now that you have, ensure you bring the attention of her parents to the development.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by lacapine: 2:48pm On Apr 05, 2019
dingbang:
Las las you will soon have a pregnant maid under your own roof.


If she cannot obey you as her employer then she should be sent to live with the boyfriend who she is frolicking with.
I would rather send her home. She has been begging that she doesn't want to go. Still watching.

4 Likes

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by lacapine: 2:49pm On Apr 05, 2019
waleyp:
You have done your own part, you can’t kill yourself na, just leave her to do whatever as per say you don try your best, inform her parents, it will be bad if she gets pregnant under your watch...
Noted. Thanks .
Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by lacapine: 2:51pm On Apr 05, 2019
waleyp:
You have done your own part, you can’t kill yourself na, just leave her to do whatever as per say you don try your best, inform her parents, it will be bad if she gets pregnant under your watch...
Noted.
Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by lacapine: 2:52pm On Apr 05, 2019
GboyegaD:
Manage her till the end of 3rd term which is another 3-4months. Before then, take your time to have a heart to heart discussion with her what your concerns are and how you would have to let her go back to her parents after this session since she is hell bent on living a life you are not comfortable with. If she doesn't change, send her back to her parents after the session before people ask you insulting questions should anything happen to her. Also, let her know you beat her because you sent her on errand and she was expected to return home and then seek permission before going to see her friends. This is needed so that the friends do not confuse her with the lies that you do not want her to enjoy the good things in sex is why you are restricting her.
Noted. Thanks.

1 Like

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by lacapine: 2:53pm On Apr 05, 2019
sisisioge:
Return her immediately. All these plenty stories sef. She's gotten to the point where she's forgotten why she's in your house so much so that she openly disrespects you and your hubby(keeping bfs against your will is disrespect, branching off the course of an assignment and leaving a partner to return alone is disrespect). Biko return her...she's over stayed her welcome. Maybe going back home will help advise her.
okay
Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by lacapine: 2:58pm On Apr 05, 2019
ireneidiva:

Stop flogging someone's child. If you can no longer handle her, send her back to her parents. Beating her is just wicked. Injure her and it becomes a police case.
. Even my biological child, I flog. She doesn't see herself as an outsider and we have such a good relationship. If we didn't, she wouldn't have stayed 6 years and refusing to go. Mind you, she travels home.once in a while and comes back on her own accord. She understands the reason why she is being flogged and this morning, I sat her down and was talking to her again even though I was tired of talking.

80 Likes 6 Shares

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by Chubhie: 3:06pm On Apr 05, 2019
Just let her know the implications of her choices. Educate her to understand her body, how pregnancy occurs and the complications of abortions. You can take her to abortion clinic to bear witness to this procedure.

Let her also know the long term plans you have for her and try your best to lead her right. Now, if she so decides to be stupid and "fall" pregnant, respect her choice and send her to her parents whom you've already informed beforehand about pregnancy being the deal breaker.

She seems safer being around you cos once she gets to the village and tastes the forbidden fruit, the whole village are in trouble.

28 Likes

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by Mizwisdom(f): 3:59pm On Apr 05, 2019
All the signs are clear that she will soon get pregnant unless she's barren. Send her back to her parents. A humble girl won't disobey you, she will remember her background and be focused, this one doesn't have sense, send her away or she will soon get pregnant in your house

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by Fhemmmy: 5:21pm On Apr 05, 2019
You said she is like a family now, so do to her what you would have done to your own daughter if found in such situation . . .

19 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by legendarygeo: 5:27pm On Apr 05, 2019
You have played a very good part,you have flogged her where she needs flogging, you have advised her where she needs correction, you have prayed for her but it is like those demons don't want to leave her.The age we are now is an "idiotic era" if she gets pregnant! trust me she might successfully abort the first but she would be forced to keep the child of a street guy.
In this situation, you don't do your best and leave the rest for God.
You must do all it takes to get her out of your house since she can no longer abide by your rules and regulations, in 2014,my dad asked me to go to the saloon and cut my hair;and I told him the hair belongs to me and I was not ready to cut it and he said if I could not cut it I have to leave his house,back then I was only 17,I finished secondary school a year before.
There are lot of people out there who are looking for jobs,they don't Even mind if you don't pay them,all they need is clothing, shelter and food.
The faster you act,the better to avoid getting yourself into unwanted trouble.
After sending her back to where she came from,you can still send her monthly allowances if you have and if peradventure she gains admission,don't forget to render a helping hand. She's like your blood.
For now, she doesn't know your value.
To everything under the sun, there is a season.
Her time is up!
Thanks.

26 Likes

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by Fhemmmy: 5:45pm On Apr 05, 2019
legendarygeo:
You have played a very good part,you have flogged her where she needs flogging, you have advised her where she needs correction, you have prayed for her but it is like those demons don't want to leave her.The age we are now is an "idiotic era" if she gets pregnant! trust me she might successfully abort the first but she would be forced to keep the child of a street guy.
In this situation, you don't do your best and leave the rest for God.
You must do all it takes to get her out of your house since she can no longer abide by your rules and regulations, in 2014,my dad asked me to go to the saloon and cut my hair;and I told him the hair belongs to me and I was not ready to cut it and he said if I could not cut it I have to leave his house,back then I was only 17,I finished secondary school a year before.
There are lot of people out there who are looking for jobs,they don't Even mind if you don't pay them,all they need is clothing, shelter and food.
The faster you act,the better to avoid getting yourself into unwanted trouble.
After sending her back to where she came from,you can still send her monthly allowances if you have and if peradventure she gains admission,don't forget to render a helping hand. She's like your blood.
For now, she doesn't know your value.
To everything under the sun, there is a season.
Her time is up!
Thanks.

She is in village getting allowance, how will she really learn then? Mind you she doesn't have to do anything to even deserve the allowance.
I like your advice except the giving her allowance without doing anything to deserve it.
The attitude of thinking the world owe us has been the author of Africa's downfall till date, when a parent in Nigeria rewards only the good of the kids and make the kids work to pay for their own tuition, there will be less fraternity at the university.

30 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by legendarygeo: 6:08pm On Apr 05, 2019
Fhemmmy:


She is in village getting allowance, how will she really learn then? Mind you she doesn't have to do anything to even deserve the allowance.
I like your advice except the giving her allowance without doing anything to deserve it.
The attitude of thinking the world owe us has been the author of Africa's downfall till date, when a parent in Nigeria rewards only the good of the kids and make the kids work to pay for their own tuition, there will be less fraternity at the university.
That's why I used the word "if"

1 Like

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by Fhemmmy: 6:13pm On Apr 05, 2019
legendarygeo:

That's why I used the word "if"

There shouldn't be any "If" the girl is getting paid while with them with being sent to school and probably allowances . . . . So now if in the village, opening legs for boys and walking around doing nothing - Should she still have access to allowance?
If she is being given allowance, how will she learn and sit up from promiscuity ?

27 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by lacapine: 6:15pm On Apr 05, 2019
NwaAmichi:
return as collected. she has overstayed her welcome. She'll only end up bringing enmity between you and her parents.
. Noted. Only that she doesn't want to go back. I still dey watch.
Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by Fhemmmy: 6:17pm On Apr 05, 2019
lacapine:
. Noted. Only that she doesn't want to go back. I still dey watch.

She doesn't want to go back
She isn't paying attention to the rule under the roof where she stays
Is there more to the power struggle under your roof?

She can't eat her cake and have it

18 Likes

Re: My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends by lacapine: 6:49pm On Apr 05, 2019
legendarygeo:
You have played a very good part,you have flogged her where she needs flogging, you have advised her where she needs correction, you have prayed for her but it is like those demons don't want to leave her.The age we are now is an "idiotic era" if she gets pregnant! trust me she might successfully abort the first but she would be forced to keep the child of a street guy.
In this situation, you don't do your best and leave the rest for God.
You must do all it takes to get her out of your house since she can no longer abide by your rules and regulations, in 2014,my dad asked me to go to the saloon and cut my hair;and I told him the hair belongs to me and I was not ready to cut it and he said if I could not cut it I have to leave his house,back then I was only 17,I finished secondary school a year before.
There are lot of people out there who are looking for jobs,they don't Even mind if you don't pay them,all they need is clothing, shelter and food.
The faster you act,the better to avoid getting yourself into unwanted trouble.
After sending her back to where she came from,you can still send her monthly allowances if you have and if peradventure she gains admission,don't forget to render a helping hand. She's like your blood.
For now, she doesn't know your value.
To everything under the sun, there is a season.
Her time is up!
Thanks.
. Thanks very much. I really appreciate your advice. I would rather help from far and yes even if she isn't in my house, my joy would be to give her an education at least till university. So help me God. If pregnancy falls on her, the blame won't be on me. My house would be open to her for visits whenever she wants but I won't be her sole guardian like before. Thanks

8 Likes

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