₦airaland Forum

musa1987:
My brother, i have similar experience when i got married. a week after our wedding my wife woke up to informed that she want to go to the town to collect phone from her ex who came back from abroad. i just declare that she can go and should not come back home. she brag from that morning till in the night but i refuse to alter a word. i told her to choose her marriage or her ex. some times u need to be rigid to get it right.

BookEditor:
You are simply at fault. The fault is from you.

Why did you allow your wife to be your own boos, to boss you around? She is not the type of woman that should be handled the way you're handling her. I think you need serious marriage counseling. Even your wife needs serious marriage counseling too.

It's the way you lay your bed that's how you will lie on it. Marriage is a lifetime journey and anyone who is not willing to get into it with full commitment should not even go in at all.

The fault lies more on her side for all her behavior but on your own part, your fault is not being firm with her and allowing certain things you're not supposed to allow in your marriage.

When you show a woman all the love needed in a marriage, then you also as a man be firm with her and refuse to allow her do certain things and put your foot down or else you will lay the foundation for the collapse of your marriage. I can assure you that if I counsel you for 5 straight hours, I will speak senses into you. I'm talking with going to 2 decades of experience.

First of all, why did you allow her that very first time to go meet her ex in the media? That was your first mistake. The moment you allowed her to meet any of her ex the first time you must continue to allow her with her other exes or else trouble will be let loose. Women are not logical in nature. They are highly emotional and have no iota of logic in them when it comes to relationship issues. It's you the man that will know that you must not allow it.

Just like a child crying for you to give him sweet even when the doctor has medically warned you that this child should never eat sweet and that if he eats sweet his illness will deteriorate. Will you now say because the child is crying seriously you give him the sweet? Won't you find something else to give him? Because the child doesn't think logically and may even put his hand inside fire.

The same thing with women. You are more logical than them as a man. So you will tactically block every opportunity or thing that will make her vulnerable because to her it's harmless but by allowing her, it can turn to something else in future and destroy your marriage.

Also remember that women are not to be given complete freedom to do anything they like because when you give them an inch, they will take a mile.

Secondly, why I said the fault is from you on my first line of this post is because you failed to avoid this kind of problem from the first day of your marriage. If you and your wife dated for long, then you should have known the kind of person she is and from the first day of your marriage, you should have given her a condition to throw her line/sim card away and stop using that line if she is really serious about being with you for the rest of her life. Marriage is a journey and whoever goes into the plough must never look back or take actions that could destroy the marriage.

If I continue to write, I will continue to write on and on because there are a lot things I need to counsel you about and if possible even your wife about marriage which both of you don't seem to understand. That's why you're having issues in your marriage.

pls can i have ur phone number ..i will like to call you

Pinuc:
The only reason why I may not condemn her is, she always tell you she wants to visit her EX, but my question is, if they where that good, why did she leave them. She really needs to accept her status as a married woman and stop seeing herself otherwise. I think you still need to keep talking to her, but mostly whenever you guys are in a happy mood. Good you told her friend, you can still confide in her brother, that is, if you try to talk to her on your own.
All the quarrels is not a good omen but with prayers, patience and love. You will win.

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

uuzba:
Why give bad advice?
What else destroys a marriage than a previous marriage with children?
-
Till death do you part. Is that not the oath you swore at the alter? If you can't swear the oath, please, you are not mature for marriage. Forget it.!

Ugosample:
why you delete am na?

Leave it there joor

greatnaija01:
You are NOT at fault sir, so pls calm down.

PLS Forgive her.... your wife like most women... does not know the value of the kind of man she has and also she is the immature one.... she has not learned SUBMISSION.... submission is NOT slavery BUT it is letting the man be the HEAD of the HOME... she can only LEARN BY EXPERIENCE... that is the bitter truth.

If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN.

Wisdom to apply now is, allow her but Go with her if you can. If she is not comfortable to go with you then SHE HAS OTHER MOTIVES O.....

also CLONE her PHONE.. so that any sms, calls or whatsapp she receives gets into your own phone too.... then u will be able to really handle this thing from the root. When you gather proper facts and evidencies then u can reveal it to family members or church leaders and they can decide what course of action to take.

YOU do not have to be angry yet because she can still say you are just being too sensitive and over protective. In quiet wisdom any hidden thing can be revealed.

Explain to her in LOVE but have a back up plan.
many people hide so much of their true nature till they marry.... their vision for marriage ends with the wedding reception... afterwards a character they never manifested before begins to show up.

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

Preshy561:
Tolerating too much nonsense.
Ex kor.

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

GlorifiedTunde:
Are you married? If not, you don't need it!

If you're married, are you suspecting him? If not, you don't need it!

If you're suspecting him, are you mature enough to handle the situation after exposing him? If not, don't try to spy!

If you have all the above stated as "Yes" google for phone spy Apps and only buy and not download free versions.

The instructions will be there.

Caution: if you're not emotionally mature, you could destroy what could be repaired beyond repairs!

damola1:
Okafor’s law.

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

ruddyman500:
If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN. .....That was exactly what i told her that i dont want old affections and emotions to be awaken but she is just so adamant and irritably sturbborn

pansophist:

Okafor's Law of Congodynamics
C 1 P = C ∞

It states that once a Congo has been shined once (C 1 ) , it can always be shined (C ∞ ) provided it was shined properly ( P) the previous times.(emphasis on properly). In other words, "....a woman once knacked, can be reknacked..."




Op, all the evidence points to a darker path you do not want to come in terms with. Hope you de knack that woman wella

ruddyman500:
i honestly think so bro but i dont want to rush into taking rash decisions cos i know myself very well i do stand by any decision i make and nobody can change my mind on it

Bakersfield:
My brother I have been in this business called marriage for the last 27 years now. I'm lucky I married my best friend and soul mate. She is from the south east and I'm from the south west of Nigeria. I know some of the hidden secrets of successful, unsecured and unsuccessful marriages.

No long story. Let me tell you the NAKED TRUTH.
YOUR WIFE IS A NYMPHO AND SHE IS BLEEPING HEAVILY WITH HER EX's. Maybe your CUCUMBER is not doing the job as expected and she resolved to help herself outside. Please try to do reappraisal of your sexual performance. Maybe you are lacking in some areas of her needs and the EX's are filling the gap for you.

You need to sit down and sort out issues holistically. No holds bar discussion.

From your submission, she has all the traits of INFIDELITY. Adjust and follow the trails. Good luck.

Slimzzy00:
please how do I clone phones

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

[/quote]ruddyman500 [quote]

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Lies. I don't even have any ex number. Onward March code.

STRENGTHesq:
apologies