₦airaland Forum

horpigee1:
Let her know that ex is ex, and bygone is bygone.... I dnt really know why people still take der exes so important...

Pls ask her this questions.....why did u guys become an ex? Her answers should be BTW one of this listed below..... Bcus we are not compatible, bcus he always beat me, bcus he make me cry, bcus he wasn't caring, bcus he cheat on me and so on.

Let her know that those guys she dated b4 they broked up wouldn't have become an ex if those guys really loved her wen they were dating.

Let go to the main point.. I tink she took her exes decisions than urs. . U are getting to the stage where ur decisions won't be relevant if u dnt take proper steps b4 it too late

I tink I av a couple of solutions to ur issue

It not gonna easy but just give it a trial, stop taking her so important, stop discussing an important issues with her, at times u can just go to kitchen and make a meals for urself (am not saying you should not eat her fud o)

When woman realised that they are no more important in the house again, they find a way to amend der mistakes.

Let me give u an example..... In economy, wen d producer or d manufacturer realised that people are no more patronised der products again , u knw wat they do?? They started find a way to upgrade der goods in other to gain peoples hrt.... That's why Toyota camry produce different types of cars every year, and that is why teckno produce different types of phones to upgrade der products.

Wen ur woman realised that she is no longer important then she gonna find a ways to upgrade herself.
God bless you marriage

As an hip hop artist.. I need a record label

Thanks bro i really appreciate this

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

@ op I feel you op honestly some women don't know what loyalty and respect means, should I blame it on immaturity I just don't get it... I query an ex recently I felt uncomfortable the way she keep making her man look like a fool if I wasn't disciplined I would have get her laid again but I have passed that stage ones we go apart I don't like to ruin the new relationship...

Honestly women are scary. Just make sure you stand your ground n set boundaries don't condole bullshit because when it starts it will continue. .

DanDeeBoss:
The guy is acting too soft..... If he isn't careful, the wife will start having an affair with her exes..

... Am telling u, some ladies are meant to handle with iron hand..

Do not give power to her by being angry. Be unpredictable. She wants to see her exes? who are still single? She get mind.

Her elder brother is a pastor? Invite him and his wife for a visit. Make her host them. Then guy say everything... Everything!. Ur reason is because u want to save ur home.

Again I repeat, say everything. It is better to have bad wife than have bad in laws. If her people cannot talk her into changing, bro, nobody can.

egojeny1:
You have been married for 27 years and you could not understant these;

1) that the wife told him about these 'exes'

2) that she took permission from him b4 going to meet them; and all you could conclude is that she's fucking those exes of her's? I don't understand you pls.

What an old man would see sitting on the ground floor, try and go to height of the building. The fact is that you can't DECIPHER IT.

I don't really comment on this forum because most times people lack COGNITIVE INTELLIGENCE to handle tropical and delicate marital issues.

Conscience, Nurtured by Truth ~ The Guardian.

That's almost the same thing that happened with my girlfriend when she told me she wants to visit her Ex whose mum just died..I only told her the consequences of what might happen if she goes and she never dreamt if going again.

Diligentnigga:
Exactly bro u are on the right path to getting her back to her senses,,trust me you,,shes missing u and shes thinking about it also and feeling guilty somehow,, sometimes some issues are best tackled with silence,,before this week runs out am sure u will see changes

Ignore all d post dat shes cheatin on u and stuffs d truth is shes not,,if she was she wudnt mention the exes in d ist place she wud rather lie to u dat she wanna go c a friend,,she said her ex to u cos she was thinking u would trust her the more and stuffs...but truth is shes immature to knw in marriage exes are exes,,u restrict ur communication with them to d bearest minimal,,

Since u said u were harsh at ist during 2017 and sshe complained about it theres no point being harsh just b quiet and b patient with her in a very hard way,,like not sleeping with her ignoring her food and all she will definitely cum back to her senses

Bro i dont know if u r married but honestly u made lots of sense , am not accusing her of cheating at all but all i want is all these nonsense ex stuffs to end and she should stop compelling to see nothing wrong in some things she does just cos another man does not see any wrong in it...Thanks so much bro u made my day with ur replies and u have lifted off some burdens from my heart

otipoju:
This issue, only married men can understand. Within one month of getting married, it dawned on me that the way you will treat your girlfriends drama is not the same way you will treat your wifes drama. The dynamic is entirely different.

This your way of handling this issue is the only practical way. No amount of talking or pleading will make her see reason. Some people will never understand the pain they are causing you with their stupid actions until you pay them back in their own coin.

This man even has a good way to reaolve it since the ex lives five minutes away. Let him go and visit her and let the wife know and you will see how she will go green with envy and lament.

you've said exactly my mind.. kudos

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .


please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

Your wife is childish and silly. She should be set up with a couple of men to bang life out of her since she likes to receive outside of her marriage. She needs to be taught a lesson in order for her to appreciate what she has at home. But it's you I blame.

Most likely, when men come on NL to groan about their wives, it's because she has a bad attitude towards her man and towards marriage. The husband in question knew this before tying the knots but married her anyway cos of her beauty.

My question is, are there no beautiful, intelligent, mature women who tick the right, most important boxes you could have chosen over this disrespectful whorre you call a wife?

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

she's not ur woman

And your marriage is even less than 3 years. You are in a long thing.

Never late to move on...

Op I have read everything I wanted to say here from first to last page.

I will only add this.

1. Once you begin to give her silent treatment and she doesn't really bother about it, please be prepared for the worst

2. When you are giving her silent treatment and she changes, please don't relax too much. She maybe go back if you too go back to your old self

3. Finally, let this be the last time you will hear her mention ex jokingly or not. Let her know if you find out anyhow, haaaaaa she will not believe what will happen


I don't entertain exs calls let alone paying visit or asking for unnecessary help. Your ex will always look for a way to bring back sweet and nice time together so flee from ex

I was not suppose to comment on this but somehow my mind was so hot. Is she the one feeding you? Even though u owned her and everything. Don’t allow anybody to advise you that she will change one day never. I am married I know what you are talking about. Don’t be deceive by anybody. Give her your Ten Commandments and if she can not follow let her go for holiday straight. Please if you ignore her to avoid trouble then your life is at risk. She still have feelings for those ex. Having too many ex is as a result of sex experience that will make her to love some and the money they always gave her. Today let her know what you want in your house. If she refuse, just go and be chilling with that 5 mins drive ex close to you than to kill yourself with worries and if you die today next day one of the ex will take over that same house you protect all the time. If she refuse to stop seeing them I will advise you to also see your ex near by and when she call you tell her with boldness you are with your ex in her house and she call you to come and see some dress she bought if is fine or not.

stop forming good man @op,go hard and watch her dance to your tune,some women are wierd that way,hard does it for them.

Otuegbe:
my friend you married in 2017,
Know that 4-5years of marriage is very difficult period. You guys are trying to tolerate each other . don't be in a hurry to take hash decisions. the older the wine the sweeter

the best advice so far, am married I know what am talking about.

My brother just write to her a letter of divorce. Sign it and stamp it, gave it to her to sign her own, watch out there must be a Change...

wetdick:
i cant marry a woman with lot of exes, guess after she has bang everybody she settled for you and then starts playing on your intelligence

she is manipulating you and you are giving her passes for bad behaviours. even allowing her to go visit an ex.

soon, you will lose your wife with all the freedom you are giving her.

give a woman an inch and she'll take a mile

"Why give a bitch an inch while she rather have mile" Chris Brown song 'LOYAL' coms to mind

BookEditor:
You are simply at fault. The fault is from you.

Why did you allow your wife to be your own boos, to boss you around? She is not the type of woman that should be handled the way you're handling her. I think you need serious marriage counseling. Even your wife needs serious marriage counseling too.

It's the way you lay your bed that's how you will lie on it. Marriage is a lifetime journey and anyone who is not willing to get into it with full commitment should not even go in at all.

The fault lies more on her side for all her behavior but on your own part, your fault is not being firm with her and allowing certain things you're not supposed to allow in your marriage.

When you show a woman all the love needed in a marriage, then you also as a man be firm with her and refuse to allow her do certain things and put your foot down or else you will lay the foundation for the collapse of your marriage. I can assure you that if I counsel you for 5 straight hours, I will speak senses into you. I'm talking with going to 2 decades of experience.

First of all, why did you allow her that very first time to go meet her ex in the media? That was your first mistake. The moment you allowed her to meet any of her ex the first time you must continue to allow her with her other exes or else trouble will be let loose. Women are not logical in nature. They are highly emotional and have no iota of logic in them when it comes to relationship issues. It's you the man that will know that you must not allow it.

Just like a child crying for you to give him sweet even when the doctor has medically warned you that this child should never eat sweet and that if he eats sweet his illness will deteriorate. Will you now say because the child is crying seriously you give him the sweet? Won't you find something else to give him? Because the child doesn't think logically and may even put his hand inside fire.

The same thing with women. You are more logical than them as a man. So you will tactically block every opportunity or thing that will make her vulnerable because to her it's harmless but by allowing her, it can turn to something else in future and destroy your marriage.

Also remember that women are not to be given complete freedom to do anything they like because when you give them an inch, they will take a mile.

Secondly, why I said the fault is from you on my first line of this post is because you failed to avoid this kind of problem from the first day of your marriage. If you and your wife dated for long, then you should have known the kind of person she is and from the first day of your marriage, you should have given her a condition to throw her line/sim card away and stop using that line if she is really serious about being with you for the rest of her life. Marriage is a journey and whoever goes into the plough must never look back or take actions that could destroy the marriage.

If I continue to write, I will continue to write on and on because there are a lot things I need to counsel you about and if possible even your wife about marriage which both of8 you don't seem to understand. That's why you're having issues in your marriage.

you are a hard-core misogynist

But you are right in a way

About the man laying the rules amd all

But for breaking sim and all that....

too extreme

as for this comment about women as freedom


dunno what to say

I just feel like slapping this op,the reverse should be the case and here u are at the receiving end.Be there forming a good man to a lady who doesn't appreciate it while she might be a slave to some of those her exes.

Bro, kindly revert back to your 2017 behavior to save your home from exes and diligently act on d advice that will be given to u by her pastor. Next time always stand on your decision... no going back

Reason why I can never be in contact with any ex, they have tried but failed, I chose to not invite temptation to myself even if I'm single, especially old baggage cos it's totally not worth it, if any ex wants to help me, help me from afar, infact what kind of help will an ex want to render if not to go down there after Nope, don't want any help from any ex, it's not like I'm keeping malice or whatever, it's called taking precautions and having common sense.

Op your wife is idle, and as they say"an idle man is......" right now she has wild thoughts in her head and clearly wants to entertain herself with something or someone, she may necessarily not be cheating yet, best thing to do is follow her path with your exes, if she doesn't react then Bro it's gon be a long hard journey for you, best of luck.

Cc onesentence

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

Me, I am here trying to understand why you know all her exes by name, face and occupation. Biko, how much time does she spend telling you about them?

Did she come out and say "Sweetheart, you know my Ex, Tobi the mechanic that I did bla, bla, bla with? His pupsy just died and I want to go and visit him?" Because, I don't get.
Why are you so knowledgeable of her exes when she doesn't know you have an ex who lives 5 minutes away.

Don't mind me oh, I know this doesnt answer your questions but I feel your wife is over revealing things to you and you're naturally over reacting. Her Ex should remain an Ex. Finito.
Give her a little space though, the more you ask her not to meet those people, the more she tries to see them. Just to annoy you. She could even be playing up non existent relationships because she knows you're a tad not possessive.

Just chill...sogbo?

stupidity:
jesuu!!! Sir you mean you sent her packing??


I won’t lie, I’m not sure of getting married I swear, i don’t want to go Mad because of a woman.

That person is sick and unfaithful to his wife.

jesmond3945:
Your wife still have soft spots for her exes and I wonder why her exes still keep in contact to the point of inviting her over, was she a free giver in her hey days? She ia even fighting you for not giving her freedom. My advise allow her to live her life, no amount of control would work in this matter. Try and control your emotions, give her some benefit of doubt, trust and watch. Even if she is going to slip, there is nothing much you can do. Thats the price someone has to pay for marrying somebody with enough baggage. My interest is in your mental health and wellbeing, I dont want you to suffer depression.

Nice one!
This is some deep shht right here!
Your thoughts are very candid

Kendumazy:
You need to show some actions that she doesn't really matter since she doesn't want to do the right thing or doesn't respect your feelings. You need to show some actions that you can live without her. If you show these actions and she doesn't bitterly apologize to save her marriage. Then, you need to work on separation cos your peace of mind is one of your most priorities. Sorry, if I sound as if I want to destroy your marriage. Hell No! The truth is that, it takes iron hand and iron heart to handle a kind of your woman.

The day mosquito patches of your scrotum is the day you'll realize that not cases are solved with violence..
My advice
make your findings and get your facts right, but stay calm in the process, allow her do her thing, don't restrict her,
Your findings will determine your next line of action.. .


ALL THE BEST BRO.. ..

Randy100:
Truth be said friend, you are insecure. Trust her for once in your life, if you caught her cheating on you then, you can kick her ass out of the marriage.

Prevention they say, is better than cure.

Allowing your wife visits to her ex, increases her chances of falling for him, especially if she truly loves the ex sexually...

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

Your wasting time complaining bro, get a pretty woman even if its just for role playing and pretend to be all over her, invite her home especially when she's about to leave for her ex, most women can't withstand any form of competition like they dish out to the guys, I bet u she will get back her lost senses, she will melt inside trust me, most women are full of shit and hardly make sense you would really prefer amazon Alexa.

My guess is that Your wife is not cheating so don't do anything irrational. However you need to make her end the overly association with her exes. It's not healthy for your marriage.

15ssDRIVE:
Baba,Woman Na the only sword with multiple edges. As in Na Baba God Dey give person wife,no
Matter of I sabi choose.

At this stage,the 2 options is peace,peace,peace.

Just Dey watch like Mumu,senior people says. Suru lafi se Oko obirin.

She go begin fear,when she realize that no more,questioning or counter arguments.

When she says,I am going to Ibadan. Tell am safe trip,may God go with you.

If she want go kafancha.... Salam alaikum.

She want go New York,tell am make she greet Donald trump for you.

Try to engage yourself in some hobbies,that needs time and attention.

For me as Igbo smoker...... I just Dey watch you like Dele Giwa.Till the day way,Gods kingdom go come in our life.

Best Advice

ruddyman500:
i honestly think so bro but i dont want to rush into taking rash decisions cos i know myself very well i do stand by any decision i make and nobody can change my mind on it

I have been following your story.

I think you are so much like me. I take time to make decisions but when I do, only God changes it.

I think what you should do is, let her have her way more than ever. Try to get some incontrovertible proofs that she's messing around before you strike.

And when you do strike, turn deaf ears to every plea. Of course, you know you have to put your child into consideration in all of your actions.

I really do not see why a woman that is married will be in the forefront of attending her exs' events. Which reasonable woman does that?

Sorry, but I think your wife is mistaking your meekness for naivety. How can a married woman go to her husband severally seeking permission to attend events by her exs' or even invite them to her own events? As if that is not enough, she finds her husband's refusal to give permission as a ground for dispute in the home?

My brother, just play along. Get your facts right and kick her out. She isn't ready for marriage yet. You hardly find any woman who wants her husband to set eyes on her ex, let alone bringing them together in functions. Wetin dey worry her?

My girlfriend will not even have the guts to tell me she's going to visit her ex not to talk about wife.


Bros maybe you actually snatched the lady away from one of her ex even at that my own wife will dare not I repeat she dare not even talk discuss her ex before me unless I raise such issues by myself .


imagine 3 different exes so far under 2yrs of marriage , More are coming . better stop her now or na you go cry las las.

YOU ALL DISGUST ME!

Both the Op who reeks of insecurity and inferiority complex, all of you who couldn't note that Op is the one with issues and most especially, the immature idiots who have already rushed to the conclusion that the wife is cheating, YOU ALL DISGUST ME!