good evening house, your honest opinion is urgently needed, as I feel I went gone too far on this issue bothering me.

this is going to be a long read, apologies in advance.

I've been dating my boyfriend for the past 1 year, we're in love and have always conquered issues threatening our relationship together as a team. about six months into our relationship my boyfriend got transferred, though it wasn't funny we have stayed together through thick and thin.

I love him and he makes me very happy but someone in the guise of female colleague is threatening my happiness, about three months ago he told me about a colleague of his who was going through a messy breakup and confided in him, according to him he's been helping her through it and has been a support system to her, I wasn't comfortable with it and insisted he told her he's in a relationship to discourage any funny feelings arising of which he claimed she knows, a week ago my boyfriend came to my city and as usual we spent time together only to notice the lady just can't stop calling and texting, calling him all sorts of endearing names and love messages, to say my heart flew out of my chest is an understatement, I confronted him and he denied having any relationship with her, after the pleadings and all I decided to hear him out, it seems she's developing feelings for him and I had him call her and tell her to put a stop to it which he did, she apologized and promised to stop.

according to him she called to tell him she was going to block his number and whatnot, it doesn't make me feel any better, I had expected her to take it like an adult and see that she's trying to ruin my relationship.

I feel bad and confused, what do I please?

Cynthia, I thought we already resolved this issue. Why bringing it here?

ceeroh:
Cynthia, I thought we already resolved this issue. Why bringing it here?

Boyfriend In The House

BronzeMajik:
I had expected her to take it like an adult and see that she's trying to ruin my relationship.

I feel bad and confused, what do I please?

how come it's u who had to insist he tell her?!
did he 4get he has a woman?!?
shu!
abeg, wehdon my sista!
at d very least he should've introduced her to u so u help him 'console' her, abi?
beta get his guys to warn him seriously o!
Haba!

DZTech:
how come it's u who had to insist he tell her?!
did he 4get he has a woman?!?
shu!
abeg, wehdon my sista!
at d very least he should've introduced her to u so u help him 'console' her, abi?
beta get his guys to warn him seriously o!
Haba!

lol thank you very much.
she already knew he has a girlfriend, my boyfriend and I talk on phone all the time during office hours, all his colleagues know about it, I only insisted he tell her incase she was turning a blind eye, she was laying it on just too thick.

ceeroh:
Cynthia, I thought we already resolved this issue. Why bringing it here?

Biko I'm not Cynthia. lol

ceeroh:
Cynthia, I thought we already resolved this issue. Why bringing it here?

be serious jor.

IamPlato:
Boyfriend In The House

lol he's not my boyfriend please.

Nice move. You should fight for what you love.

Madam, there are other girls not just the colleague . Stop personalizing dicck. E go reach everybody.

nuggarito:
Nice move. You should fight for what you love.

thank you so much.

Davash222:
Madam, there are other girls not just the colleague . Stop personalizing dicck. E go reach everybody.

not this one, it's not all about the dicck, we've invested too much in this for one lady to come out of nowhere to destroy it. thanks all the same.

So a man cannot have a side chick in peace okwia?
Full grown man na im you wan tie down. You be Meghan Markle abi Kate Middleton?
Common leave that young man to enjoy the life of his head.
Rubbish.
Next thread please. Thank you. Don't mention.

BronzeMajik:
not this one, it's not all about the dicck, we've invested too much in this for one lady to come out of nowhere to destroy it. thanks all the same.

Wetin una invest

BronzeMajik:
not this one, it's not all about the dicck, we've invested too much in this for one lady to come out of nowhere to destroy it. thanks all the same.

such is life madam. Relationship is not by force. It is not a crime for another gal to steal ur bf. I can bet they are already fuking already.

BronzeMajik:
lol he's not my boyfriend please.

Why Na. At Least Pretend He Is

Joromi12:
such is life madam. Relationship is not by force. It is not a crime for another gal to steal ur bf. I can bet they are already fuking already.

Habaaaa have some chill for Christ sake.

JudgementHammer:
I blame your guy for telling you in the first place, I blame you for seeing the man you're to call Lord in marriage as someone you can confront, the outcome of confrontational attitude when and where its not needed is never good.

All you had to do was ask that you pick the call when next she calls and talk to her politely that who does she want to speak to, then in her ears, you'll call...Honey! Someone wants to speak with you, then hand the phone to him..by doing that, you've helped him resist temptations as d lady now believes in her mind that he trusts you to the level of letting u pick his calls..even though u both orchestrated the act just to help each other at the moment.

Confrontations will give you unrest and troubles. You probably have made him regret telling you now. I'm just imagining how ur bf would cope seeing a malicious colleague at work everyday..its serious! And you know women are gifted in malice!

serious points you made there.
I agree with you, I wasn't thinking right at that point in time, we've always been very open and he tells me what I need to know especially what might jeopardize our relationship, I never intended to spite anyone only wanted to set boundaries and for her to know her limit, my boyfriend is partially to blame here he must have encouraged it, so I don't care if she keeps malice with him or not that's his cup of tea.

I must admit, confronting him has not made me feel any better, I feel worse he shouldn't have put me in that position, a grown man should know what to do at the right time.
thanks for your input.

BronzeMajik:
I confronted him and he denied having any relationship with her, after the pleadings and all I decided to hear him out, it seems she's developing feelings for him and I had him call her and tell her to put a stop to it which he did, she apologized and promised to stop.

according to him she called to tell him she was going to block his number and whatnot, it doesn't make me feel any better, I had expected her to take it like an adult and see that she's trying to ruin my relationship.

I feel bad and confused, what do I please?

You did the right thing. She likes him and he does too if he has never put a stop to her endearing names and love messages. She's only trying to gain some sympathy by telling him she's going to block his number, but she's not going to do that. Now's the time to draw your man closer because she clearly wants him.

Jirair:

You did the right thing. She likes him and he does too if he has never put a stop to her endearing names and love messages. She's only trying to gain some sympathy by telling him she's going to block his number, but she's not going to do that. Now's the time to draw your man closer because she clearly wants him.

thank you so so much for this, I would do exactly as you've said.

nuggarito:
Nice move. You should fight for what you love.

And when you get tired "fighting",please move on with your life.
You'll be alright!

Hope u would be this understanding if d table Wia to be reversed... Yuh guy no try Sha, sounds like a pant man to me,as an adult whether yuh in a relationship or not dia r some sh!t which u gotta handle yuhself... Relationships dix day's r nufin buh a scam,blotted expectations everywhere... Damn...

ibkkk:


And when you get tired "fighting",please move on with your life. You'll be alright!

of course ma. thanks for the advice.

Headlesschicken:
Hope u would be this understanding if d table Wia to be reversed... Yuh guy no try Sha, sounds like a pant man to me,as an adult whether yuh in a relationship or not dia r some sh!t which u gotta handle yuhself... Relationships dix day's r nufin buh a scam,blotted expectations everywhere... Damn...

lol @ pant man, you hit the nail on the head, I expected him to handle it himself, getting me involved made me feel bad.

for us to tackle it old man

ceeroh:
Cynthia, I thought we already resolved this issue. Why bringing it here?

BronzeMajik:

serious points you made there.
I agree with you, I wasn't thinking right at that point in time, we've always been very open and he tells me what I need to know especially what might jeopardize our relationship, I never intended to spite anyone only wanted to set boundaries and for her to know her limit, my boyfriend is partially to blame here he must have encouraged it, so I don't care if she keeps malice with him or not that's his cup of tea.

I must admit, confronting him has not made me feel any better, I feel worse he shouldn't have put me in that position, a grown man should know what to do at the right time.
thanks for your input.

Please, don't make excuses for your boyfriend. Suffering a heartbreak isn't novelty. That colleague of his is simply a no-gooder. Why run to a man to give you succour? Your boyfriend, on his part, was wrong to have offered her a shoulder to cry on. Things escalate quickly. Doesn't this colleague have sisters or friends? Why did it have to be a colleague who's in a relationship?

Nonsense is nonsense. Stop excusing your boyfriend's actions. He decided to court trouble the day he started indulging her. You did no wrong! You didn't overreact.

Headlesschicken:
Hope u would be this understanding if d table Wia to be reversed... Yuh guy no try Sha, sounds like a pant man to me,as an adult whether yuh in a relationship or not dia r some sh!t which u gotta handle yuhself... Relationships dix day's r nufin buh a scam,blotted expectations everywhere... Damn...

Nope! Her relationship is just how it's meant to be! Transparent! Both parties who see themselves as one!

BronzeMajik:
lol @ pant man, you hit the nail on the head, I expected him to handle it himself, getting me involved made me feel bad.

Oh, dear... if he had handled it himself, they'd have ended up f*cking.

His telling you became some sort of check...accountability.