₦airaland Forum

LMAO. I got tired to.

UyaiIncomparabl:
You talk too much.

victorian:
Kiss ke! U want make guys wooing me in this forum get angry with me.
No kiss! Biko. I don't know who I will end up settling down with. Lemme not burn my bridges with my own hands.

Just my morning pic instead, I'm just feeling my looks this morning

Lol .

Abeg what so special about this pic you posted here?

Ishilove:
She is not abnormal. She is just very reserved. I see a lot of myself in her and i can identify with her, which is why I know she's normal.

Not every woman likes showing off their private lives on social media contrary to what you think. I know I don't. I know I can write about my private life online, but definitely not post pictures. You two just have very different temperaments.

If you know you like social media wife then why did you marry her?? Never marry a person with the mindset that you will change them. Have you changed yourself? Are you the Holy Spirit that changes? You saw the kind of person she was yet you still went ahead to marry, thinking you are the doing her a favour by marrying her, now two years down the line you are complaining.

Abeg carry your cross and make things work. Your madam sef is acting like she is doing you a favour by marrying you. A little appreciation would go a long way in making your partner feel like they didn't waste their resources buying you gifts, although I wouldn't go as far posting pictures if my man buys me a car. That would be dialing your village people's numbers.

Na una two sabi abeg.

Is she being reserved as she posts her parents & siblings including d baby? Is that privacy?

gaby:
Hmmm

Some of you guys are just so unfathomable and it irks me to no end how you bandy the word "educated" as if common sense is taught in schools especially our kinda schools.

You saw all these with your korokoro eyes while dating but simply pretended as usual that it wasn't there because in your mind your being an architect who can spoil her with gifts will cure her craze...fafafa fawoool

Look guy...zero love..is what that woman sure has for you and you disgust her fantastically. If she had her way or choice she wouldn't wish to be caught a thousand miles around you..its so frigging obvious. You were just a means to an end considering her biological time was waning..

She lost the one she truly loved for whatever reasons and was left with no choice than to manage you to fulfil all righteousness such as having a child seeing how time was ticking out on her coupled with pressures from her family too.

I won't be surprised if her true love is the one she is working towards moving closer to overseas.

I'm seated here typing and wondering how your "Architectural" brains could miss spotting how her "Doctoral or Surgical brain" is conveniently using you as the "available to be settled for in the absence of the desirables" haba oga...are you that low in self esteem or looks.

The lack of an okay self esteem is as well a huge turn off for most women so you know, and from the look of your write up you sure exudes this.

Wetin dey happen na...make una still try dey face reality and tackle am head on.

You see say you dey irritate person plus the person dey shame for you, you still dey force yourself on am cum dey claim successful architect. Your "trying too hard" to win her true love is even more repulsive to her including the gifts..

Na all these kind dundee characters dey make me sometimes dey agree say instead wey person go born mumu make e jejely born omila...

Abi na the woman disvirgin you or na Doctor kill you for your former life wey cum make you swear say you must marry doctor for your new life lol..

Guys make una dey shine una eye well well like my daughter abeg...no time to check time o

Just incase none of the above checks out...guy you dey marry person wey done die for one side prematurely wey him soul never rest according to the Nigerian gist.

Wake up man..you can do better than this...life is too long or short for all these arrant bullocks...yolo man...

That woman's true love is in a corner and probably getting his steady cut on the side from her because he must be married too hence your coming into the picture.

This story aptly captures and rings so true to the saying " Money can not buy love".

DAMN....

imitateMe:
so are you married now?

Must everybody marry? As long as she's happy with herself its cool.

Xmen149:
one of these:

1)she is older than u and ashamed about it

2)pride,u no reach her set standards that she must have publicly bragged about

3)u were a side dude that became only option after she ran out of options

u dnt need a good wife, u need a happy good wife(good here is to ur own standards) ur wife is like a terrorist patiently waiting for the next mission
..
ua in Shiit

u went in for the fame (my wife is a doctor) even when the incompatibility is staring u in the face..

talk to her xtreamly close friends and family and find out what went wrong to know if it's situation you can resolve bcs someone somewhere knows what u dnt..

Yes he went for d doctor name, didn't he see d serious fault steering him in d face?

Have a DNA test... Am sure the baby isn't yours...

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

Stop begging women for marriage, una no go gree!

She is either a lesbian or she is in another relationship.

She will either frustrate you out or you bend to her whims and caprices.

You should have known better.

Good morning everyone
It feels good to be here.
Please I have some questions to ask friends on this platform for clarity sake.

I have been booked for an interview at the US embassy, and it happened that my form i..20 bears the name of the company whose financial documents I submitted to the school during my admission application as my sponsor.
Along the line, just of recent an aunt of mine has been willing to give me her statement of account along side with a letter of sponsorship.

My question now is this, should I forgo the company's statement of account and go with my aunt's own since she is willing to be the sponsor or is it advisable to go with the both statement of account with the notion that I have two sponsors.

Then lastly, I also want to know the approach one needs to follow while going to embassy if you have a company as a sponsor?

Thanks you.

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

You are abnormal, not your wife

mypains:
Do you want to know the truth? There is nothing wrong with her. You over caring is not needed. Listen, women do not value nice guy. You always too available for her. Stop being too emotional... you are turning her off.

You have a lot to learn about handling women in a situation like this. I do not want to recommend having a side chic but I think you should detach yourself from her and focus on yourself. If I were you, I will take that car from her and sell it.

Stop giving her attention and give that attention to yourself ONLY. Leave home for some days and weeks if possible. take yourself out and ... stop eating her food. Give her silent treatment... in summary, be "sendless". If you sleep on same bed, stop it and use another room....

By the time she start seeing you are going cold, and gradually withdrawing, she will adjust.

Are you married? I doubt. You think husband - wife relationship is the same with boyfriend-girlfriend own?

Mariangeles:
Preach !

Bless up

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

So because you came into her life two years ago, you want to become like her colleagues that have been in her life for years giving her the best of advice and covering her back? You've got to earn her respect and admiration and making baseless arguments like social media love is not the way to go about it.

Imagine your comment about her being excited because you got married to her when she's over 30 years (I started disliking you when I read that part. Who knows what you've said to her without knowing)

We are talking about a mature woman and not Instagram slay queens that post pictures to incite jealousy. She already had a sound life before you came into the picture so your gifts won't impress her.

No, she is not disgusted at you but if you keep complaining of trivial things like social media show off, she will in no time.

Earn her respect by acting like a man you are. Take care of her and the kids like it's your responsibility and not expecting show offs. Be a listening ear and always communicate. Be a man! Grow up.

victorian:
Oga, you are not tall dark and handsome. Talk true make devil shame.

Anyways I understand what she's going through. Cause I almost got myself entrapped in such kind of marriage but counselling with my Pastor saved me on-time.
I'm not saying u are a bad person, neither am I saying u are ugly but the thing is this : you can be someonelse dream man , perfect and Denzel looking to another woman except your wife. Your wife has the idea of how her ideal man should look like.
Not all women are tall, dark and handsome as their ideal looking man. Some prefer average height, natural for looks with a muscular or athletic body. That's why God created us in different shapes and sizes.
And your wife who got married in her 30s must have seen it all, got heartbroken by the kind of guys, she would have love to marry and settle down with. But reality dawned on her, such guys won't make A good husband to her. Then u strolled along into life, she realised u are serious with marriage. She checked herself, she's not getting younger, what da heck! Lemme marry. I will simply resign my self to this marriage as long as I have a family with him. Who cares about happiness and love. Most marriages sef are just there.
And with what friends will always ring into our ears everyday. Marriage is not about love, it's about marrying a man who is ready and capable to stay married. Just be humble and calm, have your kids and have a business or career going for yourself. That's all. We don't always marry who we wish to marry and here we are with our kids. You cannot be selective anymore, forget about falling in love and just Marry!
That's exactly how your wife feels. She's resigned to her fate with u. She cannot leave u, cos she's determined to stay married. Her happiness is irrelevant as long as she's Mrs.

What a life


In my own case, I stopped myself on-time from marrying the guy who proposed to me, after opening my heart to my Pastor. My Pastor said do I want to be lifeless in the marriage, I said no with tears almost running down my cheeks. He said good, then don't marry him, cos u will regret it. Tell him kindly u simply don't love him, which is the truth. There and then I felt so free and alive, I even felt like hugging the pastor with so much joy! Lol
I told the guy, I'm sorry dear, I can't go thru with it. And I don't regret it. I feel free and alive! . I don't care about my age. I just want to feel at peace wit my soul and being.

I hope u do not end up regretting this your action
Cos a lot of girls that made such decision ended up regretting it.
Truth of the matter is love is very very deceptive, it makes u very very irrational in your thinking n decision making. My dear it is far better to marry with your head n not your heart . It is more reasonable to grow n develop the love with your hubby than to marry who you are inlove with. Trust me the former lasts forever while the latter eventually crashes. This is not to say you should marry any man that comes your way , just have a standard n quality of the kind of Man U want n go for such when they come your way,irrespective of u bin inlove with the person or not . Truth is love is indeed blind n it cud lead u into settling down with someone not your standard,quality or preference , n when the love eventually fades.... n trust me it will fade , your “ had I known” or regrets might be too late......

Wow

UjuJoan2:
What is her dating history?

Why are you distrubing yourself ?ignore her ,she will find you

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

MY FRIEND. HV READ UR EPISTLE. LEAVE THAT WOMAN ALONE TO LIVE HER HUMBLE LIFE. DO NOT FORCE HER INTOSOCIAL MEDIA CRAZE. SHE WILL BUILD UP GRADUALLY. INTROVERTS ARE SOMETIMES VERY UNPREDICTABLE FELOWS,SO DO NOT PUSH HER AROUND
SHE IS PROTECTING U BUT U ARE IGNORANT. HER AGE IS OK, THAT'S A MATURE WO INDEED. WHAT HAS SHE NOT SEEN,? SHE IS NOT HAVING ANY ABNORMALITY OR COMPLEX.PLS GIVE HER SPACE, LOVE HER MORE & LOVE D HOME MORE
WORK WITH HER AND BE PRACTICAL AT HOME
THANKS.

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

she does not want her handsome hubby to be preyed by some anonymous predators. Between, I'm an Architect too, which firm do you work at that pays millions, I want to apply.

Pkingman:
Age: I am 38 ,she is 34.

Her past dating life.. I met her very single.. She told me her last relationship ended about 8 months earlier..because the guy smoked and drank a lot, although he was also a doctor.
I met her while my mum had a ruptured appendix and was rushed to the hospital where she worked. She was very nice and friendly to her, treated her like her own mother and not like a patient. Maybe my mum would have died that night if not for her.While other members of the team were dragging leg and nonchalant about the case, she pushed it and operated on my mum that night around midnight. We became close during that period..I was always visiting my mum is I wanted to see her... I was lonely and needed to settle down and well, being a doctor.. I had to take the bold step.. And she accepted.. No hassles.
While dating, I thought she didn't want to show me off in case the relationship didn't work out or perhaps, maturity.. Showing off a boyfriend when her mates were already married ?

She told me I suited her in many ways.. Educational background, family, finance, physical attributes, career, etc.

On cheating : I don't think she is cheating. I don't need to clone her phone or social media accounts. Her devices are unlocked and open to me at anytime,even while we were dating. She can travel and leave her phone with me.. No password, no restrictions. It's even me who passwords my phones and she doesn't bother, has never made any attempt to touch my phone..

That was what she kept telling herself... giving her self all the reasons why you were okay for a husband. But it unfortunately didn't make her love you.

Once, I had a guy who so much wanted us to be an item... he was thinking marriage. He was super cute, all the pastors loved him, obsessively clean and neat, had a wonderful dress sense, was a good dancer, a show stealer, infact. But I couldn't love him. I refused to date him because I knew I wouldn't feel proud having him as a boyfriend. He didn't exude the kind of charisma/confidence I wanted in a man... he was unambitious (there was a time he said if he got a job that paid 60k monthly, he'd be fine. I was cold to my bones the day he said that)... he wasn't intellectual for my liking.

Ordinarily, people didn't see why I couldn't be with him... but he wasn't what I wanted... couldn't explain it to anyone because it would begin to affect how others saw him.

For some reason, you don't match up to your wife's standards (of what her man should be). She doesn't love you. Maybe in the course of time, things would change. But for now, she can't have the world see that she got a "not-so-good" deal. I'm also thinking that you're nothing like her exes. She can't stand the thought that if they were to see who she ended up with, they'd gloat.

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

MY FRIEND. HV READ UR EPISTLE. LEAVE THAT WOMAN ALONE TO LIVE HER HUMBLE LIFE. DO NOT FORCE HER INTOSOCIAL MEDIA CRAZE. SHE WILL BUILD UP GRADUALLY. INTROVERTS ARE SOMETIMES VERY UNPREDICTABLE FELOWS,SO DO NOT PUSH HER AROUND
SHE IS PROTECTING U BUT U ARE IGNORANT. HER AGE IS OK, THAT'S A MATURE WO INDEED. WHAT HAS SHE NOT SEEN,? SHE IS NOT HAVING ANY ABNORMALITY OR COMPLEX.PLS GIVE HER SPACE, LOVE HER MORE & LOVE D HOME MORE
WORK WITH HER AND BE PRACTICAL AT HOME
THANKS....

Okeyogwo:
Good morning everyone
It feels good to be here.
Please I have some questions to ask friends on this platform for clarity sake.

I have been booked for an interview at the US embassy, and it happened that my form i..20 bears the name of the company whose financial documents I submitted to the school during my admission application as my sponsor.
Along the line, just of recent an aunt of mine has been willing to give me her statement of account along side with a letter of sponsorship.

My question now is this, should I forgo the company's statement of account and go with my aunt's own since she is willing to be the sponsor or is it advisable to go with the both statement of account with the notion that I have two sponsors.

Then lastly, I also want to know the approach one needs to follow while going to embassy if you have a company as a sponsor?

Thanks you.

Go to the travel section of nairaland and ask this question. You'll get a reply there

The OP is breaking my heart aawn

It was sad to read

Hope you find a resolution!

Modified : im reading the ops posts in 2 minds, i cant tell if he is being oversensitive or if the lady is one of those types that will be displaying all these "under-the-radar" behaviours that will eventually annoy somebody. for example:

Pkingman:
My concern is that my friends, relatives, colleagues show off their partners and celebrate them online. They take pictures and post.. They use their spouses on their DPs.If I don't do same, won't people think my marriage is having issues? And my wife being the reason for this just doesn't sit well with me. I am uncomfortable about it because normal women don't behave like this. They are proud of being married. They are usually crazy about their husbands and look for every opportunity to show them off,display gifts and all that... How many women will husband buy new car for And they won't show off online , at least on whatsapp? Even though she already has a car she bought before we got married, I thought this will be different, being a new car and a SUV...Haba!

This thing he said is showing some kind of misplaced priority. Who cares if people think your marriage has issues, as long as it doesnt? Some of those people posting are just trying to cover up for the terrible experiences they are having indoors. And this "normal women" thing is a strange thing to say. Just because you are accustomed to a particular kind of female it doesnt mean you shouldnt also study your wife to see what behaviour is "normal" for her. And to be honest, showing off on social media is kind of trashy at times. if i bought it myself i may be tempted to celebrate it as a milestone but showing off an expensive gift could be somehow awkward. What is the achievement in someone buying you an SUV all that"keeping up with the jones'" stuff is not for everybody

Theres nothing overtly wrong with her, she could be doing worse and not everybody shows off on social media.

On the other hand her cropping the guy out of all her photos and then uploading pictures of her children and male colleagues when she knows it upsets him is passive-aggressive and wrong. She is smiling to his face and then going behind and showing her true feelings

If you want to be private, reserved, etc then do it! Or if you want to be cropping him then give him a good reason and explain it to him. its actually worse to post a picture of a baby who has no say in the matter than your spouse who can consent

Shes just showing him her back, maybe because he wasnt her main choice and she still has a pride

Of course it shouldnt bother him if she doesnt post him on facebook or whatever but thats not the point. social media is just an extension of real life. in those days the lady would be avoiding being seen with the guy in public or behaving somehow when they bump into friends. all social media actions have a behavioural correlate in real life

I feel he is fixated on it for the wrong reason, but he still has a reason to be upset.

I think he is trying to highlight a particular attitude, a disdain and irritation that he sees in her but he doesnt know how to put it into words

Everybody can tell when someone is just tolerating them, ashamed of them or pitying them though it may be difficult to explain

At this stage you should test her love for you. How much do you know her, Whats her past like? Past events could make her bottle up her emotions. How is ur sex life like? Does she kiss you passionately, spend intimate moments, if not now prior to having kids? If a woman cant stand you, intimacy and kissing will not occur... Only sex for pleasure and procreating will occur.

Try and make her jealous to see her reactions, you can not be jealous for who you dont love.

UyaiIncomparabl:
She's not abnormal. All of her actions are/were premeditated and as thus; are conscious choices she's made overtime.

I can't come to a conclusion on this, but I think (a strong possibility) that your wife doesn't love you. You' were just available for her to make as a choice to salvage her biological clock from waning out.


In as much as I want to be stingy, nay say cautious with the truth, but I have to let it all out. You're not her fantasy.



The faster you know that humans love opportunistically, the better.

You are redpilled as f.uck! It's a pity most men don't know what you know. These are the men we call simps and manginas.

Pkingman:
On her relationship with me at home: She is a perfect partner.. Very friendly and jovial, respects me.. Despite her busy schedule, she still takes out time to keep the home running.. Cooks and does chores, without bothering me to assist.. I hate domestic chores ..we have no maid because she said she doesn't need a maid. My mum and hers take turns to visit and assist.

On Intimacy... Good.. Top notch.. Na she dey rush me sef. We play, pray and laugh.. We even watch football matches together. We both support Arsenal. We hardly quarrel.

On social functions : She isn't the very outgoing type.. More of an indoor person but we attend dew occasions together and she acts just okay... Not cold, not overly excited.. But if we take pictures together, she will never upload that but will rather upload her personal picture.

On gifts : I don't know if it's because she has her own money and can easily afford anything I buy for her.. She has never asked me for anything, even cash I give her because I believe I have to. She only says thank you, no excitement at all. Is this how independent women act?
I complained about this to her parents and siblings.. They said that's how she is.. But I don't feel good about this.. It's so not feminine. As if I am not adding anything to her.

On changing my attitude towards her : She doesn't even want me to put her up on social media as well.. So if I stop that, it won't bother her.
I can't just start giving her cold attitude at home.. No reason for that. Besides, she may just enjoy the space and shun me.. That will be to my own detriment because she sure knows how to keep to herself and mind her business while I can't .

My concern is that my friends, relatives, colleagues show off their partners and celebrate them online. They take pictures and post.. They use their spouses on their DPs.If I don't do same, won't people think my marriage is having issues? And my wife being the reason for this just doesn't sit well with me. I am uncomfortable about it because normal women don't behave like this. They are proud of being married. They are usually crazy about their husbands and look for every opportunity to show them off,display gifts and all that... How many women will husband buy new car for And they won't show off online, at least on whatsapp? Even though she already has a car she bought before we got married, I thought this will be different, being a new car and a SUV...Haba!

First, I must point out that you care too much about people's opinions.

And yes, your wife doesn't feel so much like she needs you. It's why your gifts and stuff don't move her.

She's got a sense of responsibility that's why she can't afford to not perform her wifely duties. She accepts you better when it's just you and her...there's no outsider to judge.

This woman is just ashamed of you... for inexplicable reasons.

midnighter:
The OP is breaking my heart aawn

It was sad to read

Hope you find a resolution!

How is He Breaking your heart?
And why was It hard to read

Xaos:
Clone her phone. If you can't, then clone all her SM accounts. If she's hiding something you will know.

But before you do, I want you to know

— you wouldn't find anything.
— your wife isn't ashamed of you or something like that.

It's just that she really, really, really hates attention.
I myself I am programmed that way.
Your wife is a mirror image of myself.

But please do clone her SM for your satisfaction.

and to me and many others,she's an ideal partner and a superstar.mine is something,though not too close to that,but i'm comfortable with everything,because she respect me,she doesn't pester for gifts or sex,just quiet and humble.but in the case of op,he is a loud-mouthed and pompous show maker while the wife is the opposite

UyaiIncomparabl:
If she so much hated attention, she wouldn't even post pictures of herself nor have agreed to take pictures. A person who doesn't like attention lives a private life online and offline. In her case, she's disgusted at him.

Maybe she wanted to marry a fellow doctor. Someone to reason in the same frequency but op was just the available choice to satisfy her parents wish for her to be married.

See as the whole of NL turn marriage counselor. OP clap for your self, you just worsened your predicament. All sorts of ideas from all sorts of people.Weldone , you just fûcked up big time. Better go talk with your wife and get things straight like an adult and stop whining online to complete strangers like an idîot .WTF is wrong with men this days?

PrimadonnaO:
That was what she kept telling herself... giving her self all the reasons why you were okay for a husband. But it unfortunately didn't make her love you.

Once, I had a guy who so much wanted us to be an item... he was thinking marriage. He was super cute, all the pastors loved him, obsessively clean and neat, had a wonderful dress sense, was a good dancer, a show stealer, infact. But I couldn't love him. I refused to date him because I knew I wouldn't feel proud having him as a boyfriend. He didn't exude the kind of charisma/confidence I wanted in a man... he was unambitious (there was a time he said if he got a job that paid 60k monthly, he'd be fine. I was cold to my bones the day he said that)... he wasn't intellectual for my liking.

Ordinarily, people didn't see why I couldn't be with him... but he wasn't what I wanted... couldn't explain it to anyone because it would begin to affect how others saw him.

[b]For some reason, you don't match up to your wife's standards (of what her man should be). She doesn't love you. Maybe in the course of time, things would change. But for now, she can't have the world see that she got a "not-so-good" deal. I'm also thinking that you're nothing like her exes. She can't stand the thought that if they were to see who she ended up with, they'd gloa[/b]t.

C

sacajawea:
How is He Breaking your heart?
And why was It hard to read

I can feel his sadness and confusion through his post. I dont really see guys pouring everything out like that so often