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Stats: 2,253,342 members, 4,934,249 topics. Date: Monday, 20 May 2019 at 06:13 PM
|My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by Pkingman(m): 11:03pm On Mar 31|
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal
Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.
I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.
It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.
Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.
After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.
By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?
In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?
183 Likes 17 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by UjuJoan2: 11:05pm On Mar 31|
What is her dating history?
324 Likes 13 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by ojun50(m): 11:09pm On Mar 31|
Yr story long
you saw all this befor u guys got married bt wave it out because u love her, my broda u are in it already jst enjoy the marriage.
424 Likes 22 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by ThothHermes: 11:10pm On Mar 31|
Is this what I will experience from you
27 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by MrLankeeee(m): 11:12pm On Mar 31|
Maybe she has spiritual husband.
205 Likes 9 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by Pkingman(m): 11:19pm On Mar 31|
2 Likes 1 Share
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by gaby(m): 11:27pm On Mar 31|
Some of you guys are just so unfathomable and it irks me to no end how you bandy the word "educated" as if common sense is taught in schools especially our kinda schools.
You saw all these with your korokoro eyes while dating but simply pretended as usual that it wasn't there because in your mind your being an architect who can spoil her with gifts will cure her craze...fafafa fawoool
Look guy...zero love..is what that woman sure has for you and you disgust her fantastically. If she had her way or choice she wouldn't wish to be caught a thousand miles around you..its so frigging obvious. You were just a means to an end considering her biological time was waning..
She lost the one she truly loved for whatever reasons and was left with no choice than to manage you to fulfil all righteousness such as having a child seeing how time was ticking out on her coupled with pressures from her family too.
I won't be surprised if her true love is the one she is working towards moving closer to overseas.
I'm seated here typing and wondering how your "Architectural" brains could miss spotting how her "Doctoral or Surgical brain" is conveniently using you as the "available to be settled for in the absence of the desirables" haba oga...are you that low in self esteem or looks.
The lack of an okay self esteem is as well a huge turn off for most women so you know, and from the look of your write up you sure exudes this.
Wetin dey happen na...make una still try dey face reality and tackle am head on.
You see say you dey irritate person plus the person dey shame for you, you still dey force yourself on am cum dey claim successful architect. Your "trying too hard" to win her true love is even more repulsive to her including the gifts..
Na all these kind dundee characters dey make me sometimes dey agree say instead wey person go born mumu make e jejely born omila...
Abi na the woman disvirgin you or na Doctor kill you for your former life wey cum make you swear say you must marry doctor for your new life lol..
Guys make una dey shine una eye well well like my daughter abeg...no time to check time o
Just incase none of the above checks out...guy you dey marry person wey done die for one side prematurely wey him soul never rest according to the Nigerian gist.
Wake up man..you can do better than this...life is too long or short for all these arrant bullocks...yolo man...
That woman's true love is in a corner and probably getting his steady cut on the side from her because he must be married too hence your coming into the picture.
This story aptly captures and rings so true to the saying " Money can not buy love".
947 Likes 68 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by victorian(f): 11:28pm On Mar 31|
Oga, you are not tall dark and handsome. Talk true make devil shame.
Anyways I understand what she's going through. Cause I almost got myself entrapped in such kind of marriage but counselling with my Pastor saved me on-time.
I'm not saying u are a bad person, neither am I saying u are ugly but the thing is this : you can be someonelse dream man , perfect and Denzel looking to another woman except your wife. Your wife has the idea of how her ideal man should look like.
Not all women are tall, dark and handsome as their ideal looking man. Some prefer average height, natural for looks with a muscular or athletic body. That's why God created us in different shapes and sizes.
And your wife who got married in her 30s must have seen it all, got heartbroken by the kind of guys, she would have love to marry and settle down with. But reality dawned on her, such guys won't make A good husband to her. Then u strolled along into life, she realised u are serious with marriage. She checked herself, she's not getting younger, what da heck! Lemme marry. I will simply resign my self to this marriage as long as I have a family with him. Who cares about happiness and love. Most marriages sef are just there.
And with what friends will always ring into our ears everyday. Marriage is not about love, it's about marrying a man who is ready and capable to stay married. Just be humble and calm, have your kids and have a business or career going for yourself. That's all. We don't always marry who we wish to marry and here we are with our kids. You cannot be selective anymore, forget about falling in love and just Marry!
That's exactly how your wife feels. She's resigned to her fate with u. She cannot leave u, cos she's determined to stay married. Her happiness is irrelevant as long as she's Mrs.
What a life
In my own case, I stopped myself on-time from marrying the guy who proposed to me, after opening my heart to my Pastor. My Pastor said do I want to be lifeless in the marriage, I said no with tears almost running down my cheeks. He said good, then don't marry him, cos u will regret it. Tell him kindly u simply don't love him, which is the truth. There and then I felt so free and alive, I even felt like hugging the pastor with so much joy! Lol
I told the guy, I'm sorry dear, I can't go thru with it. And I don't regret it. I feel free and alive! . I don't care about my age. I just want to feel at peace wit my soul and being.
510 Likes 28 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by Xaos(m): 11:35pm On Mar 31|
Clone her phone. If you can't, then clone all her SM accounts. If she's hiding something you will know.
But before you do, I want you to know
— you wouldn't find anything.
— your wife isn't ashamed of you or something like that.
It's just that she really, really, really hates attention.
I myself I am programmed that way.
Your wife is a mirror image of myself.
But please do clone her SM for your satisfaction.
185 Likes 14 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 11:37pm On Mar 31|
No darling. I'm not like that.
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 11:39pm On Mar 31|
You talk too much.
369 Likes 21 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 11:40pm On Mar 31|
You talk too much.
128 Likes 7 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by elantraceey(f): 11:41pm On Mar 31|
Things social media do to people..... SMH.
36 Likes 1 Share
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 11:44pm On Mar 31|
If she so much hated attention, she wouldn't even post pictures of herself nor have agreed to take pictures. A person who doesn't like attention lives a private life online and offline. In her case, she's disgusted at him.
428 Likes 16 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by victorian(f): 11:45pm On Mar 31|
So op simply move with the flow in your marriage. Your wife won't leave you.
She's made up her mind to be committed to you . Don't bother your mind about showing u off.
Tonto dikeh that was showing off her husband and their kisses online, where is she today? Lilian esoro? Where are they today? So it's not about showing off.
It's all about commitment and you've got that at home
At least thank God for that.
156 Likes 9 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by slimjohn2k5: 11:47pm On Mar 31|
Bro this story no complete, u said u noticed this before u guys got married right? How did u people have sex, does she frown or u guys have timetable for sex. Just wondering a woman that was relaxed for u to HV sex with her, must have been hurt by u for her to be acting this way.
Talk to her
66 Likes 5 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by Xaos(m): 12:13am On Apr 01|
Disgusted at someone she married — the father of her child? Okay. For you to say this, maybe you skipped the part he said she has been / still is a good wife. Or the fact that he ‘only’ isn't a part of her life online.
Oh... You don't know a thing or two about people who hates attention. Is not something you can ‘just’ fathom.
37 Likes 1 Share
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by 1StopRudeness: 12:28am On Apr 01|
Social media husband.....
But I understand u op......it's one thing to love a person...but the feeling that the person loves u in return is also important....
Make her feel like u don't care abit like u wanna leave and see her actions.....if she doesn't care ...she can walk away anytime if she finds her ideal man.....I suggest u make the first move..
we all have just one shot at life....theres no point spending it with a person that isnt happy being seen with you
.she's a bitter, wounded soul. People like that really don't care how u feel....
49 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 12:32am On Apr 01|
She's not abnormal. All of her actions are/were premeditated and as thus; are conscious choices she's made overtime.
I can't come to a conclusion on this, but I think (a strong possibility) that your wife doesn't love you. You' were just available for her to make as a choice to salvage her biological clock from waning out.
Just as they say, when the desirable isn't available, you make the available one your choice. I love to show off what I 'LOVE'. So you see, it's tit for tat.
A deep check; She takes pictures, but excludes/crops you out, you tag her, she untags you, you buy her gifts, she cringes and in turn makes you feel worthless, she tells you she doesn't need to show you off to the world to know you both are married. That's a blatant lie from the abyss. In as much as I want to be stingy, nay say cautious with the truth, but I have to let it all out. You're not her fantasy. Forget that part about you being tall, dark and handsome. Beauty is subjective. You may think you're attractive but she sees you below that. How do you people even make love? Is there chemistry?
Another thing, you saw these signs during courtship and still stubbornly had to dive in? You're the architect of your own misfortune. I just hope she hasn't been cheating on you. I won't say she's unemotional, she isn't. (A person with less or little emotion transcends such vibe to people around him/her, they have no feelings). She just doesn't vibe with you. Communicate with her and hear her reasons out. I'm 100% sure it'll be gibberish. If it persists, don't be afraid to lose yourself (meet people and hobnob, and of course, get a side chick who'll heal your heart from the worries your wife gives you ). Act like you don't care. Flirt a little. She go do normal. You'll worry less eventually. I'm one against cheating, but I wouldn't have people treated like garbage.
PS; I can be very unemotional and non-challant, but this is off the radar. I only show off who shows me off. Say no to one-sided relationships!
The faster you know that humans love opportunistically, the better.
In your next life, learn not to be a second choice and don't be afraid to chose rigidly too.
230 Likes 13 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by PaulAris: 12:34am On Apr 01|
victorian:He could be, infact he must be.
But that doesn't change anything does it.
I feel he was used or prolly still being used.
Like you said, she saw she was ticking so she accepted out of pity.
No wonder she dosn't wanna show him off. She must have bragged to her friends about the kind of man she wants or must have been engaged before and everyone knew about it. But fortunately(lol), she got dumbed and used and became heart-broken prolly even a sadist who knows.
And Yh, she surely must be cheating, don't ask me why, the signs are just clear.
Writing sweet words bout' your Masculine friends instead of your Husband?
By the way, I notice you seem to know a lot of similarities about such women. You been in such shoes before huh
I do not wanna believe you still in it
37 Likes 1 Share
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by victorian(f): 12:45am On Apr 01|
I doubt If she's cheating on him.
I know much about what almost everybody goes through, not only her type. And please don't ask me how, cos I wont reveal.
Then i'm not in her shoes and God forbid I won't be in her shoes.
Almost everybody has gone through one heart break or the other, she's not the first, neither will she be the last person on earth to be heartbroken in love. In fact more heartbreaks coming up worldwide to people across the globe.
Almost everyone has had the dream and wish to marry someone they feel is the perfect one. With a perfect image in our minds. She's not the first and she won't be the last as well.
So no need making it look like, the husband married someone who felt her life is done and over with due to her past life.
Then pertaining to me, I'm OK with what I have going on in my life.
And lastly I don't resign myself to circumstances. No way, i don't.
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 12:52am On Apr 01|
Being a good wife is a necessity, and that's expected, but being disgusted or spiteful is another thing. My dear, no matter how much you hate attention, neglecting your partner publicly/socially is cold. If she hated attention so much like that, she should be staying off social media!
110 Likes 6 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by PaulAris: 1:19am On Apr 01|
victorian:Ladies and their maked-up mind, so beautiful!
[Paragraph 1]; You know, I was gonna tell you I was not interested in knowing.
But then he told me how you know all these things, so I just gave a grin to myself saying of course.
[Paragraph 2]; Women!
[Paragraph 3]; You know you could be charged to court or given subpoena for your comprehensive skills, its preposterous.
[Paragraph 4]; Aww, how cute.
I could give you a hug right now if only you were
1 Like 1 Share
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by Skeendip: 1:33am On Apr 01|
why did you marry her?
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by fastseo: 1:43am On Apr 01|
Your wife is normal. You said she uploads her make colleagues and wishe them happy birthday n wrote swt things.
If she had not done the above then I would said leave her alone it's her nature but it's otherwise.
You are not her idea man, probably she has boasted how her man should be n thar that that...
Probably married u cos of her age, being over 30 woman at this time will say i do to any man.
You need to watch her very well especially her phone.
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by PaulAris: 1:49am On Apr 01|
Pkingman:I think you gotta trigger her jealous button a lil(ok, a lot maybe). But the aim is to put her in place.
All this mess you facing is cause you've been taken for granted.
So you gotta step up to that position you ought to be, and that is someone that she's got a lot more value and respect for.
All this cries you've been making to her ears about she not going social with you and all that, you really gotta let it stop.
Don't even give a damn about if she decides to tag you or not.
With the less attention and cries you'll be giving her, she's gonna think again before she makes those her nasty moves.
Now this is why most men are fighting hard for men like you to take hold of their balls and not let some lady toss about anytime she wants.
You think if you knew your worth she'd be doing you like this?
Damn, women can identify a needy ass from a Man.
So get your balls together and quit being someone taken for granted!
And hey, get some damn Chicks!
116 Likes 7 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by Ttrrffyyghuuh: 2:41am On Apr 01|
There's nothing more frustrating than a spouse that doesn't make the least effort to work on some character flaw that you find disturbing...
Forget anyone that says's she doesn't like attention, she posts pictures of herself online and with family and even with your child but refuses to be seen pictured with you...
Everyone else above has put up nice submissions, but i want to inquire however, you never made mention of her attitude towards you in social functions you attend together, weddings, parties and the likes. How does she behave at such functions, does she also refuse to be seen with you? Not like it matters anyways, since her overall attitude towards you is cold..
which leads me to my next question....
Also you made mention of gifts and such, how is your daily life, do you ever laugh together, talk deeply about stuff, pray together and so on? does her indifference only come up when you buy her gifts, you made mention of her impersonal disposition towards your gestures but is she like this everyday, do you come home to a wife that is always avoiding you, doesn't let you touch her, shows obvious disgust at you for nothings sake?....
Its easy to say she's opted for you as a last resort due to her age factor after she couldn't get her dream man, which is the most rational analysis, but knowing the answer to this questions will help in finding a solution....
It's worthy of note that she may not be cheating, the fact that she post pictures of her and her child shows that she's stating it loudly that she is a mom...It's just you she's ashamed of.
If she doesn't avoid you at social functions and you have your good times privately (which i believe because you said she took out time to celebrate your birthday with you, but seen pictured with you is an abomination and you also mentioned she performs her duties as a wife, even with her schedule as a surgeon), then you might be able to salvage your marriage, it simply means some part of her still values you although she is ashamed to show you to the world which is your leverage...
Use it well, put it to her bluntly what you think and if she is ready for this marriage or not!!!, you are condoning this rubbish by allowing her jargon excuses to stand!!!, sit her down and tell her all you have told us and let her make a choice, that's the only way to know if your marriage is worth it, else you'll live in an unhappy marriage for a long time, sulking everyday..
if on the other hand, she avoids you everyday, you don't do stuff together, horrible sexlife, doesn't like to be seen with you at social functions or church, then you have no leverage honestly, if you push her to a certain level not even a child or the title of Mrs will make her stay, she will be like even me that is managing you...
Something in my body sha is telling me it's how you look, honestly(Not beauty, since you said you're a fineboy , Maybe you are years older or years younger (Abeg OP if you see this post answer this, what is your age difference?). Her reactions towards gifts from you maybe another thing entirely, have you seen anyone else give her gifts or complement her?, parents, friends maybe? how does she respond?
If she's also cold and distant to others as regards gifts and complements, then that is a character flaw and has nothing to do with you, which could be good in a way......
But this your wife na complex human being sha, see as i dey rack my brain dey try understand person i no sabi, like say i no get work
127 Likes 9 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by Guitarlife: 4:10am On Apr 01|
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by Acidosis(m): 5:10am On Apr 01|
..but why would you marry someone who isn't
Two things are involved here; first, your wife is still crazy about an ex she couldn't marry due to family issues, genotype, and other external, not personality differences or infighting. Second, your wife has never been privileged to fall in love with a man.
While the first option spells more doom, you still have the power to turn around the situation. You can make absolutely any woman fall in love with you. It is never too late to change the situation.
You have used attention, incessant gifts, and obsession and nothing has changed. Have you tried withdrawing, making yourself unavailable and giving her the impression her love is unimportant? Women are wired in a different way bro. You need to withdraw the expression of some feelings and act of loving to get her attention. If you made her picture your wallpaper, delete. Remove her picture on your dp and don't upload any for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. That's how you get her attention and put her emotions to work.
140 Likes 9 Shares
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by Donald3d(m): 5:14am On Apr 01|
|Re: My Wife Doesn't Post My Pictures On Social Media, She Is Abnormal, Help! by femi4: 6:05am On Apr 01|
Pkingman:She is not crazy about you.
I always tell men, marry the woman that loves you and not the one that you love.
You are more like the available option for her cos age wasn't on her side.
I would have said that the love will grow but there was no mutual love in the first place
She married you out of societal pressure, you are nothing close to her Dream man.
But there is hope, you can use reverse psychology to put her on her toes.
47 Likes 2 Shares
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