I think you are the abnormal one

Pkingman:
On her relationship with me at home: She is a perfect partner.. Very friendly and jovial, respects me.. Despite her busy schedule, she still takes out time to keep the home running.. Cooks and does chores, without bothering me to assist.. I hate domestic chores ..we have no maid because she said she doesn't need a maid. My mum and hers take turns to visit and assist.

On Intimacy... Good.. Top notch.. Na she dey rush me sef. We play, pray and laugh.. We even watch football matches together. We both support Arsenal. We hardly quarrel.

On social functions : She isn't the very outgoing type.. More of an indoor person but we attend dew occasions together and she acts just okay... Not cold, not overly excited.. But if we take pictures together, she will never upload that but will rather upload her personal picture.

On gifts : I don't know if it's because she has her own money and can easily afford anything I buy for her.. She has never asked me for anything, even cash I give her because I believe I have to. She only says thank you, no excitement at all. Is this how independent women act?
I complained about this to her parents and siblings.. They said that's how she is.. But I don't feel good about this.. It's so not feminine. As if I am not adding anything to her.

On changing my attitude towards her : She doesn't even want me to put her up on social media as well.. So if I stop that, it won't bother her.
I can't just start giving her cold attitude at home.. No reason for that. Besides, she may just enjoy the space and shun me.. That will be to my own detriment because she sure knows how to keep to herself and mind her business while I can't .

My concern is that my friends, relatives, colleagues show off their partners and celebrate them online. They take pictures and post.. They use their spouses on their DPs.If I don't do same, won't people think my marriage is having issues? And my wife being the reason for this just doesn't sit well with me. I am uncomfortable about it because normal women don't behave like this. They are proud of being married. They are usually crazy about their husbands and look for every opportunity to show them off,display gifts and all that... How many women will husband buy new car for And they won't show off online, at least on whatsapp? Even though she already has a car she bought before we got married, I thought this will be different, being a new car and a SUV...Haba!

Bros ur case I'd a special one since u enjoy thus cordial relationship with her at home,

But u should able to read between the lines that she's hiding u from someone, or some people
Me thinks she was in kind of a long relationship with someone and it didn't end well cos she wanted to get married to the other guy
The best way to tackle problems, is to have a dialogue, inasmuch as I don't care much about public display of affection or validation from social media, it's an esteem booster for some folks like you, sit her down, have a heartfelt conversation with her, tell her you really despise are cold demeanor, if she remains defiant, baba trust me their are things you can do, she can see you are trying your best to win her attention, and there's a funny way the mind works to make her despise u the more I would just give 2 a glimpse of what I would do of I were in your shoes.

1.Frankly i wouldn't send her anymore, i would never care about her reaction to any action I make and would also never seek validation from her, I don't advocate cheating, but trust me I would spend nights outside, I would look for a prettier lady that I flaunt on social media and i wouldn't gI've a damp if she notices or not, even if she starts getting jealous I swear I wouldn't stop
2. Bros u are the man in the relationship and not her friend don'tlet her get u by the balls, don't let her know all about you, and don't do stuff to impress her again

Hipsofagoddess:



So because you came into her life two years ago, you want to become like her colleagues that have been in her life for years giving her the best of advice and covering her back? You've got to earn her respect and admiration and making baseless arguments like social media love is not the way to go about it.

Imagine your comment about her being excited because you got married to her when because she's never 30 years (I started disliking you when I read that part. Who knows what you've said to her without knowing)

We are talking about a mature woman and not Instagram slay queens that posts pictures to incite jealousy. She already had a sound life before you came into the picture so your gifts won't impress her.

No, she is not disgusted at you but if you keep complaining of trivial things like social media show off, she will in no time.

Earn her respect by acting like a man you are. Take care of her and the kids like it your responsibility and not expecting show offs. Be a listening ear and always communicate. Be a man! Grow up.

Interesting

UyaiIncomparabl:
She's not abnormal. All of her actions are/were premeditated and as thus; are conscious choices she's made overtime.

I can't come to a conclusion on this, but I think (a strong possibility) that your wife doesn't love you. You' were just available for her to make as a choice to salvage her biological clock from waning out.

Just as they say, when the desirable isn't available, you make the available one your choice. I love to show off what I 'LOVE'. So you see, it's tit for tat.

A deep check; She takes pictures, but excludes/crops you out, you tag her, she untags you, you buy her gifts, she cringes and in turn makes you feel worthless, she tells you she doesn't need to show you off to the world to know you both are married. That's a blatant lie from the abyss. In as much as I want to be stingy, nay say cautious with the truth, but I have to let it all out. You're not her fantasy. Forget that part about you being tall, dark and handsome. Beauty is subjective. You may think you're attractive but she sees you below that. How do you people even make love? Is there chemistry?

Another thing, you saw these signs during courtship and still stubbornly had to dive in? You're the architect of your own misfortune. I just hope she hasn't been cheating on you. I won't say she's unemotional, she isn't. (A person with less or little emotion transcends such vibe to people around him/her, they have no feelings). She just doesn't vibe with you. Communicate with her and hear her reasons out. I'm 100% sure it'll be gibberish. If it persists, don't be afraid to lose yourself (meet people and hobnob, and of course, get a side chick who'll heal your heart from the worries your wife gives you ). Act like you don't care. Flirt a little. She go do normal. You'll worry less eventually. I'm one against cheating, but I wouldn't have people treated like garbage.

PS; I can be very unemotional and non-challant, but this is off the radar. I only show off who shows me off. Say no to one-sided relationships!

The faster you know that humans love opportunistically, the better.
In your next life, learn not to be a second choice and don't be afraid to chose rigidly too.

This sums it up, you be better person. I like how your mind works

victorian:
Oga, you are not tall dark and handsome. Talk true make devil shame.

Anyways I understand what she's going through. Cause I almost got myself entrapped in such kind of marriage but counselling with my Pastor saved me on-time.
I'm not saying u are a bad person, neither am I saying u are ugly but the thing is this : you can be someonelse dream man , perfect and Denzel looking to another woman except your wife. Your wife has the idea of how her ideal man should look like.
Not all women are tall, dark and handsome as their ideal looking man. Some prefer average height, natural for looks with a muscular or athletic body. That's why God created us in different shapes and sizes.
And your wife who got married in her 30s must have seen it all, got heartbroken by the kind of guys, she would have love to marry and settle down with. But reality dawned on her, such guys won't make A good husband to her. Then u strolled along into life, she realised u are serious with marriage. She checked herself, she's not getting younger, what da heck! Lemme marry. I will simply resign my self to this marriage as long as I have a family with him. Who cares about happiness and love. Most marriages sef are just there.
And with what friends will always ring into our ears everyday. Marriage is not about love, it's about marrying a man who is ready and capable to stay married. Just be humble and calm, have your kids and have a business or career going for yourself. That's all. We don't always marry who we wish to marry and here we are with our kids. You cannot be selective anymore, forget about falling in love and just Marry!
That's exactly how your wife feels. She's resigned to her fate with u. She cannot leave u, cos she's determined to stay married. Her happiness is irrelevant as long as she's Mrs.

What a life


In my own case, I stopped myself on-time from marrying the guy who proposed to me, after opening my heart to my Pastor. My Pastor said do I want to be lifeless in the marriage, I said no with tears almost running down my cheeks. He said good, then don't marry him, cos u will regret it. Tell him kindly u simply don't love him, which is the truth. There and then I felt so free and alive, I even felt like hugging the pastor with so much joy! Lol
I told the guy, I'm sorry dear, I can't go thru with it. And I don't regret it. I feel free and alive! . I don't care about my age. I just want to feel at peace wit my soul and being.

The truth is that you yourself might wait forever to find love before you marry.
It's not even easy for anyone to find true love these days.
Irony of life.
Keep your faith up dear. We don even search tire.

UyaiIncomparabl:


If she so much hated attention, she wouldn't even post pictures of herself nor have agreed to take pictures. A person who doesn't like attention lives a private life online and offline. In her case, she's disgusted at him.

Does she take pictures with other people and post on internet?

probably you guys were matched make by your parents

Pkingman:
On her relationship with me at home: She is a perfect partner.. Very friendly and jovial, respects me.. Despite her busy schedule, she still takes out time to keep the home running.. Cooks and does chores, without bothering me to assist.. I hate domestic chores ..we have no maid because she said she doesn't need a maid. My mum and hers take turns to visit and assist.

On Intimacy... Good.. Top notch.. Na she dey rush me sef. We play, pray and laugh.. We even watch football matches together. We both support Arsenal. We hardly quarrel.

On social functions : She isn't the very outgoing type.. More of an indoor person but we attend dew occasions together and she acts just okay... Not cold, not overly excited.. But if we take pictures together, she will never upload that but will rather upload her personal picture.

On gifts : I don't know if it's because she has her own money and can easily afford anything I buy for her.. She has never asked me for anything, even cash I give her because I believe I have to. She only says thank you, no excitement at all. Is this how independent women act?
I complained about this to her parents and siblings.. They said that's how she is.. But I don't feel good about this.. It's so not feminine. As if I am not adding anything to her.

On changing my attitude towards her : She doesn't even want me to put her up on social media as well.. So if I stop that, it won't bother her.
I can't just start giving her cold attitude at home.. No reason for that. Besides, she may just enjoy the space and shun me.. That will be to my own detriment because she sure knows how to keep to herself and mind her business while I can't .

My concern is that my friends, relatives, colleagues show off their partners and celebrate them online. They take pictures and post.. They use their spouses on their DPs.If I don't do same, won't people think my marriage is having issues? And my wife being the reason for this just doesn't sit well with me. I am uncomfortable about it because normal women don't behave like this. They are proud of being married. They are usually crazy about their husbands and look for every opportunity to show them off,display gifts and all that... How many women will husband buy new car for And they won't show off online, at least on whatsapp? Even though she already has a car she bought before we got married, I thought this will be different, being a new car and a SUV...Haba!

With this I'll just say there's absolutely no problem with your marriage.

There are some of us who love a really private life. For example, I have a mentor who we all thought was single for over 5 years of knowing her. She even uses her maiden name. She uploads only her photos on Facebook too but its only when I got really close to her and visited her home that I realized she was quite happily married with her husband and child.

To avoid trouble, you have to live with it. Don't get any side chicks, spy or whatever. Asides any other thing we don't know, your marriage is perfect

UyaiIncomparabl:



You talk too much.

Na God go punish you ooooOh

Brother don't say you don't know oooooo, she is olanning on relocating without you!!!

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

Bros please observe her very well,she might be seeing someone else and she trying to go overseas is a no no idea....90% of every Nigerian woman that has gone aboard as a nurse/doctor all became too wise

UyaiIncomparabl:


Being a good wife is a necessity, and that's expected, but being disgusted or spiteful is another thing. My dear, no matter how much you hate attention, neglecting your partner publicly/socially is cold. If she hated attention so much like that, she should be staying off social media!

Your last statement doesn't make sense.

Social media is not for people who like attentions.
People who are introvert do social media stuff more than people who are extrovert.
they do different things on social media

Op, get more info regarding her previous relationship...... Did she suffer a major heartbreak? Probe her both openly and stylishly to see if she tlks passionately about any of her previous relationship.
Does she talks about any regrets?

She is too cold for comfort, but NEVER raise that concern with her anylonger except she changes.

I feel a part of her heart got shutdown after brutally painful failed relationship in her past.

If she currently likes, which i think she does it will translate to deep affection with time. She obviously from your previous post also mature and sensible, which is way more necessary than "love" to keep a marriage.

Social media is making you go crazy. cut out your facebook and all that and focus on the present time with your wife

Pkingman:
On her relationship with me at home: She is a perfect partner.. Very friendly and jovial, respects me.. Despite her busy schedule, she still takes out time to keep the home running.. Cooks and does chores, without bothering me to assist.. I hate domestic chores ..we have no maid because she said she doesn't need a maid. My mum and hers take turns to visit and assist.

On Intimacy... Good.. Top notch.. Na she dey rush me sef. We play, pray and laugh.. We even watch football matches together. We both support Arsenal. We hardly quarrel.

On social functions : She isn't the very outgoing type.. More of an indoor person but we attend dew occasions together and she acts just okay... Not cold, not overly excited.. But if we take pictures together, she will never upload that but will rather upload her personal picture.

On gifts : I don't know if it's because she has her own money and can easily afford anything I buy for her.. She has never asked me for anything, even cash I give her because I believe I have to. She only says thank you, no excitement at all. Is this how independent women act?
I complained about this to her parents and siblings.. They said that's how she is.. But I don't feel good about this.. It's so not feminine. As if I am not adding anything to her.

On changing my attitude towards her : She doesn't even want me to put her up on social media as well.. So if I stop that, it won't bother her.
I can't just start giving her cold attitude at home.. No reason for that. Besides, she may just enjoy the space and shun me.. That will be to my own detriment because she sure knows how to keep to herself and mind her business while I can't .

My concern is that my friends, relatives, colleagues show off their partners and celebrate them online. They take pictures and post.. They use their spouses on their DPs.If I don't do same, won't people think my marriage is having issues? And my wife being the reason for this just doesn't sit well with me. I am uncomfortable about it because normal women don't behave like this. They are proud of being married. They are usually crazy about their husbands and look for every opportunity to show them off,display gifts and all that... How many women will husband buy new car for And they won't show off online, at least on whatsapp? Even though she already has a car she bought before we got married, I thought this will be different, being a new car and a SUV...Haba!

Your wife seems fine to me OP (given she's an introvert). Don't think too much about it - social media affections are overrated anyways. They may do more harm than good and she seems like the type that don't want wahala.

With regards to how she responds to you gifting her stuff, just communicate to her how it makes you feel.

One last thing, be careful taking advise from people who aren't qualified to give it (people who aren't married for starters - me included!). Your wife seems to be great in other aspects of the marriage and you have a peaceful home...appreciate it. We humans usually don't appreciate what we have until we lose it.

Appreciate your wife, be patient with her and continue to shower her with love...with time she'll warm up to you.

Now i know why no guy was interested in her no wonder she ended up setting with unfortunate you in her 30s

.Guy i can authoritatively tell you that your wife behaviour is not normal..is either she is hoeing codedlly or she has a well laid out plan to discharge you later..as i can tell you she doesnt love you at all. A normal woman that loves her husband will be proud to be by his side taking pix in socal events and show them on social media even if not forthe gram at least for the fun and memories...it will naturally show.Guy tell yourself the truth.She dont love you. She just tolerates you.

Well, I think you should let her be. Your description of her shows she's almost the perfect wife & your home isn't suffering.

Like others, I have tried to decide what could be happening, can't lay my finger on any.

I don't like my pictures or those of my children posted everywhere too and I don't usually post others' pictures because it doesn't in my view add any value, but I think her case is quite extreme.

Don't overflog this matter. This is a minor issue , people have far deeper problems in their marriages.

And about this her travelling matter, hmmm. I think you should think about it thoroughly. It could be rewarding, but very dangerous.

Pkingman:
G

gaby:
Hmmm

Some of you guys are just so unfathomable and it irks me to no end how you bandy the word "educated" as if common sense is taught in schools especially our kinda schools.

You saw all these with your korokoro eyes while dating but simply pretended as usual that it wasn't there because in your mind your being an architect who can spoil her with gifts will cure her craze...fafafa fawoool

Look guy...zero love..is what that woman sure has for you and you disgust her fantastically. If she had her way or choice she wouldn't wish to be caught a thousand miles around you..its so frigging obvious. You were just a means to an end considering her biological time was waning..

She lost the one she truly loved for whatever reasons and was left with no choice than to manage you to fulfil all righteousness such as having a child seeing how time was ticking out on her coupled with pressures from her family too.

I won't be surprised if her true love is the one she is working towards moving closer to overseas.

I'm seated here typing and wondering how your "Architectural" brains could miss spotting how her "Doctoral or Surgical brain" is conveniently using you as the "available to be settled for in the absence of the desirables" haba oga...are you that low in self esteem or looks.

The lack of an okay self esteem is as well a huge turn off for most women so you know, and from the look of your write up you sure exudes this.

Wetin dey happen na...make una still try dey face reality and tackle am head on.

You see say you dey irritate person plus the person dey shame for you, you still dey force yourself on am cum dey claim successful architect. Your "trying too hard" to win her true love is even more repulsive to her including the gifts..

Na all these kind dundee characters dey make me sometimes dey agree say instead wey person go born mumu make e jejely born omila...

Abi na the woman disvirgin you or na Doctor kill you for your former life wey cum make you swear say you must marry doctor for your new life lol..

Guys make una dey shine una eye well well like my daughter abeg...no time to check time o

Just incase none of the above checks out...guy you dey marry person wey done die for one side prematurely wey him soul never rest according to the Nigerian gist.

Wake up man..you can do better than this...life is too long or short for all these arrant bullocks...yolo man...

That woman's true love is in a corner and probably getting his steady cut on the side from her because he must be married too hence your coming into the picture.

This story aptly captures and rings so true to the saying " Money can not buy love".

you Sir deserve to empty my account
your a legend

Jiang:


Oga be honest, shes just using the man, I think when it's time to relocate abroad, she might even file for a divorce. No matter how introverted a woman is, as long she's on social Media, SHE WILL DISPLAY HER WEDDING PISHURE, unless she never liked her husband in d first place


What the op is worried about is how unappreciative the woman is, I for example, if I dislike you, even if you give me ur whole wealth, it won't change my behaviour towards you. but the difference between I & others, is I tell it to ur face, why I dislike them as am not the patient type. The ops wife dislikes him, but tolerates him cause he is the only available option right now, but she does not love the op nor his money, gifts etc

Okay you think people who appreciates your gifts or works are the people who really love,
Her life just like the OP narrated it is similar to my life style,
Don't judge people by the way you do things,
How can you say she married the OP because he is the available option right now, if she decides not to marry anybody what will happen?
No dey talk like say no must say person go marry.
The OP should check and compare her life to him and to other people like members of her family. The OP should know if gift moves her before, na people wey know her before marriage he supposed ask.

femi4:
She is not crazy about you.

I always tell men, marry the woman that loves you and not the one that you love.
You are more like the available option for her cos age wasn't on her side.
I would have said that the love will grow but there was no mutual love in the first place

She married you out of societal pressure, you are nothing close to her Dream man.

But there is hope, you can use reverse psychology to put her on her toes.

Hmmm

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

is like u like show up. You want people to hail you. Bro I think you deserve your wife.

Lots of advice up there. Can't read them all. I'm sure the OP has gotten a lot of advice already. But just one thing I want to chip in.

You been buying her gifts. That's wonderful. But have you heard of love languages? Gift giving (One of the love languages) might be your way of showing her love but might not be the way she wants to be shown love.

Perhaps, it's a marriage of convenience to her.

Perhaps, it was wrong to assume she'll become different after marriage.

But people are known to fall in love. Grow in love.

How long have you been married? You still got a long way to go, dude. And you're going to need the patience of Job.

This is a woman were dealing with, bro.

You're going to have to get her to open up. And start by speaking her love language. You've tried gifts already. Try the four others. Even though she doesn't care much for you, there will at least be that token of reaction that tells you that you are on the right track.

Perhaps, she doesn't love you. Perhaps you are not her dream guy. Physical looks matter less to the women folk. It's your heart, your intentions, your actions.

You can make her fall in love with you. Get tutelage from someone who's been there. Or several people, to cover all bases.

You can make any girl fall in love with you, if you're persistent enough. Take this from the history of all the playboys you know.

All you gotta do is strike the right chords in her heart.

You'll be fine.

Goodluck, brother.

Lol this post is funny
So somebody cannot live a lowkey life again No be everything you go post for social media o. You no Dey fear village people? Both of you are not compatible. You’re the loud and ‘show off’ type while she’s the opposite. I pray this doesn’t break your home.

Oga.
She did that to save her
Marriage

Oga xaos abegi wetin be ur SM in full ejoor mabinu

Xaos:
Clone her phone. If you can't, then clone all her SM accounts. If she's hiding something you will know.

But before you do, I want you to know

— you wouldn't find anything.
— your wife isn't ashamed of you or something like that.

It's just that she really, really, really hates attention.
I myself I am programmed that way.
Your wife is a mirror image of myself.

But please do clone her SM for your satisfaction.

Mr. OP, why do u capitalize on her age so much as a reason or basis to do things she's not willing to do in line with your desires? And who told u or where is it written that a woman over 30 is considered hopeless & less desirable in marriage by society? You said you are 38 & she's 34, so who's older here? And some of u here condemning her for accepting d poster due to her age are just unreasonable, because in my opinion, marriage has no age limit. If it does, ask Simi's mother, Clarion Chukwurah... Enough of this nonsense habit of shading women & their ages. And those of you critics here are much older than the lady's age & still unmarried. Pls go get a life! In as much as I hold this unbiased assertion, it doesn't mean I subscribe to the lady's aversion for public recognition of her spouse, the OP. He saw these deal breakers b4 marriage, he should have dealt with them long before tying the knot.

joyousever:
Mr. OP, why do u capitalize on her age so much as a reason or basis to do things she's not willing to do in line with your desires? And who told u or where is it written that a woman over 30 is considered hopeless & less desirable in marriage by society? You said you are 38 & she's just 34, so who's older here? And some of u here condemning her for accepting d poster due to her age are just unreasonable, because in my opinion, marriage has no age limit. If it does, ask Simi's mother, Clarion Chukwurah... Enough of this nonsense habit of shading women & their ages. And those of you critics here are much older than the lady's age & still unmarried. Pls go get a life! In as much as I hold this unbiased assertion, it doesn't mean I subscribe to the lady's aversion for public recognition of her spouse, the OP. He saw these deal breakers b4 marriage, he should have dealt with them long before tying the knot.

Evening Newspaper spotted

Night bed spread noticed. Old cargo like u!

Iwanttoto1:


Evening Newspaper spotted

Bro. I share you pains with you. I perfectly understand what you are passing thru. But you saw this coming bro.
My mum had always admonished Us with this statement"Son/daughter Never marry any lady/man you won't be proud of tomao or in time to come"
That alone has kept me bro... Honestly I'm scared of settling down.because of what is happening In this dispensation.

Pkingman:
On her relationship with me at home: She is a perfect partner.. Very friendly and jovial, respects me.. Despite her busy schedule, she still takes out time to keep the home running.. Cooks and does chores, without bothering me to assist.. I hate domestic chores ..we have no maid because she said she doesn't need a maid. My mum and hers take turns to visit and assist.

On Intimacy... Good.. Top notch.. Na she dey rush me sef. We play, pray and laugh.. We even watch football matches together. We both support Arsenal. We hardly quarrel.

On social functions : She isn't the very outgoing type.. More of an indoor person but we attend dew occasions together and she acts just okay... Not cold, not overly excited.. But if we take pictures together, she will never upload that but will rather upload her personal picture.

On gifts : I don't know if it's because she has her own money and can easily afford anything I buy for her.. She has never asked me for anything, even cash I give her because I believe I have to. She only says thank you, no excitement at all. Is this how independent women act?
I complained about this to her parents and siblings.. They said that's how she is.. But I don't feel good about this.. It's so not feminine. As if I am not adding anything to her.

On changing my attitude towards her : She doesn't even want me to put her up on social media as well.. So if I stop that, it won't bother her.
I can't just start giving her cold attitude at home.. No reason for that. Besides, she may just enjoy the space and shun me.. That will be to my own detriment because she sure knows how to keep to herself and mind her business while I can't .

My concern is that my friends, relatives, colleagues show off their partners and celebrate them online. They take pictures and post.. They use their spouses on their DPs.If I don't do same, won't people think my marriage is having issues? And my wife being the reason for this just doesn't sit well with me. I am uncomfortable about it because normal women don't behave like this. They are proud of being married. They are usually crazy about their husbands and look for every opportunity to show them off,display gifts and all that... How many women will husband buy new car for And they won't show off online, at least on whatsapp? Even though she already has a car she bought before we got married, I thought this will be different, being a new car and a SUV...Haba!

Look at the way you described your relationship here versus the way you described it in front page.

You make me laugh. Don't worry, you'll find what you're looking for. I'm sure someone has placed a thought inside your subconscious mind.

If you like act like nothing here bothers you, just remember that you can't control what your subconscious choose to believe and will act on one day.

gaby:
Hmmm

Some of you guys are just so unfathomable and it irks me to no end how you bandy the word "educated" as if common sense is taught in schools especially our kinda schools.

You saw all these with your korokoro eyes while dating but simply pretended as usual that it wasn't there because in your mind your being an architect who can spoil her with gifts will cure her craze...fafafa fawoool

Look guy...zero love..is what that woman sure has for you and you disgust her fantastically. If she had her way or choice she wouldn't wish to be caught a thousand miles around you..its so frigging obvious. You were just a means to an end considering her biological time was waning..

She lost the one she truly loved for whatever reasons and was left with no choice than to manage you to fulfil all righteousness such as having a child seeing how time was ticking out on her coupled with pressures from her family too.

I won't be surprised if her true love is the one she is working towards moving closer to overseas.

I'm seated here typing and wondering how your "Architectural" brains could miss spotting how her "Doctoral or Surgical brain" is conveniently using you as the "available to be settled for in the absence of the desirables" haba oga...are you that low in self esteem or looks.

The lack of an okay self esteem is as well a huge turn off for most women so you know, and from the look of your write up you sure exudes this.

Wetin dey happen na...make una still try dey face reality and tackle am head on.

You see say you dey irritate person plus the person dey shame for you, you still dey force yourself on am cum dey claim successful architect. Your "trying too hard" to win her true love is even more repulsive to her including the gifts..

Na all these kind dundee characters dey make me sometimes dey agree say instead wey person go born mumu make e jejely born omila...

Abi na the woman disvirgin you or na Doctor kill you for your former life wey cum make you swear say you must marry doctor for your new life lol..

Guys make una dey shine una eye well well like my daughter abeg...no time to check time o

Just incase none of the above checks out...guy you dey marry person wey done die for one side prematurely wey him soul never rest according to the Nigerian gist.

Wake up man..you can do better than this...life is too long or short for all these arrant bullocks...yolo man...

That woman's true love is in a corner and probably getting his steady cut on the side from her because he must be married too hence your coming into the picture.

This story aptly captures and rings so true to the saying " Money can not buy love".

You're absolutely correct.