atikulated2019:

you Sir deserve to empty my account
your a legend

Lol...your account shall keep filling up and running over...

I no sabi carry water for mouth talk...I say it the way it is my brother.

Life school na im I go...that's a very serious school where you no fit dodge class or buy grades by whatever means.

STOP GIVING HER ATTENTION. BE MORE COLD TO HER THAN SHE IS TO YOU. MAKE HER THE LEAST OF YOUR PRIORITIES. HANGOUT MORE WITH FRIENDS AND JUST LIVE HAPPY WITHOUT HER IN IT. IN SHORT, PRETEND YOU'RE SINGLE BUT DON'T CHEAT ON HER. SHE WOULD VALUE WHAT SHE HAS

naturefellow:
truth is v bitter!

Very bitter I tell you...when a truth is always "sweet" that's a very huge "lie"...

femi4:
She is not crazy about you.

I always tell men, marry the woman that loves you and not the one that you love.
You are more like the available option for her cos age wasn't on her side.
I would have said that the love will grow but there was no mutual love in the first place

She married you out of societal pressure, you are nothing close to her Dream man.

But there is hope, you can use reverse psychology to put her on her toes.

It's actually better the man's love exceed that of the lady. Women are wired for affection. This woman under consideration is one of the few weird women who doesn't crave affection. When a man loves a woman genuinely, it is easy for the woman to reciprocate, even if initially, she didn't feel anything for him.

Pkingman:
On her relationship with me at home: She is a perfect partner.. Very friendly and jovial, respects me.. Despite her busy schedule, she still takes out time to keep the home running.. Cooks and does chores, without bothering me to assist.. I hate domestic chores ..we have no maid because she said she doesn't need a maid. My mum and hers take turns to visit and assist.

On Intimacy... Good.. Top notch.. Na she dey rush me sef. We play, pray and laugh.. We even watch football matches together. We both support Arsenal. We hardly quarrel.

On social functions : She isn't the very outgoing type.. More of an indoor person but we attend dew occasions together and she acts just okay... Not cold, not overly excited.. But if we take pictures together, she will never upload that but will rather upload her personal picture.

On gifts : I don't know if it's because she has her own money and can easily afford anything I buy for her.. She has never asked me for anything, even cash I give her because I believe I have to. She only says thank you, no excitement at all. Is this how independent women act?
I complained about this to her parents and siblings.. They said that's how she is.. But I don't feel good about this.. It's so not feminine. As if I am not adding anything to her.

On changing my attitude towards her : She doesn't even want me to put her up on social media as well.. So if I stop that, it won't bother her.
I can't just start giving her cold attitude at home.. No reason for that. Besides, she may just enjoy the space and shun me.. That will be to my own detriment because she sure knows how to keep to herself and mind her business while I can't .

My concern is that my friends, relatives, colleagues show off their partners and celebrate them online. They take pictures and post.. They use their spouses on their DPs.If I don't do same, won't people think my marriage is having issues? And my wife being the reason for this just doesn't sit well with me. I am uncomfortable about it because normal women don't behave like this. They are proud of being married. They are usually crazy about their husbands and look for every opportunity to show them off,display gifts and all that... How many women will husband buy new car for And they won't show off online, at least on whatsapp? Even though she already has a car she bought before we got married, I thought this will be different, being a new car and a SUV...Haba!

I'm afraid I have to say you're being immature here. I patiently waited for you to expound on the situation and right after you did, I'll say shes overly introverted, not crazy about material stuff and indeed matured. You on the other hand are showing signs of infantility and its disturbing. The way you speak alone is disappointing. Please don't talk to her this way as she'll lose respect for you. What do you mean by "all" women do this and that. Common!!

Op Cc: Pkingman

Your wife does not love you, simple!

Your wife is not proud of you!

I used to be an international level relationship counsellor, and during those times, I met and counselled women of all races, class and profession. So I will be honest with you, no mincing words!

Your wife married you out of no other available choice. Your wife got heartbroken by her dream man, and she couldn't get another of her dream men to propose and marry her, her type of men weren't coming forth while her age advances without pity, and family was pressuring her to settle down, and you came onboard and she noticed you are serious to settle down and have the finance to settle down, so she decided to just marry you in order to fulfill all righteousness of being married.

Deep down her heart, you are the least of the type of men she admires and trips for. In fact, it still surprises and disgusts her that she married u, she can't believe it, she looks at u and get upset. When I was a relationship counselor, I learned a lot from women, it built my level of confidence with women and it helped me understood women of all races and class better. They confided in me. Many married women don't love their husbands, they married their husbands out of no choice. Their dream men weren't coming, some got heartbroken by their dream men, some their dream man wasn't financially buoyant to marry them and family pressure pushed to marry the rich men they married.

You maybe tall, dark, handsome but that's to you. Not all women love dark, tall and handsome, some ladies prefer average height guys, some prefer slim guys, some prefer plump guys, some even prefer fat guys, some prefer skinny guys, some prefer rugged looking guys, some prefer Churchy looking guys, so for ladies, they don't have a definite look of an ideal man, forget what you read online, it is only men that have a defined qualities of what they see as hot lady; big protruding buttocks, firm breast, flat tummy, ladies are not like men, sometimes the man they see as handsome maybe ugly to many other women, that's women for you.

And women's love radiate beyond physical looks, they consider inconsequential things and qualities u may hear and shiver, that's women, they are weird creatures, doesn't mean u are not so many ladies ideal man.

In fact, u maybe an ideal man to ladies hotter, prettier, classier and richer than your wife, yes that's the truth, but you decided to confined yourself to your wife as your supermodel from courtship.

I don't like it when a man who has financial stability confines himself to a certain lady who doesn't appreciate him, its disgusting, you are a man, act like a man and not like a sissy!

When I wasn't that financially okay, no lady, I mean no lady looked down on me, talkless of when God then answered my call, they no born that lady well. As it is now, I select ladies, in fact, 80% of so called hot ladies u see around can't meet my spec, so who born that lady that will push me aside, unless she is the daughter of USA President or Queen of England and she must be as sexy as Kim Kardashian too, they never born that lady.

How can you allow yourself to be sidelined by a lady, ah, they swear for you ni

I am sure what pushed you into this mess is I MUST MARRY A DOCTOR useless mentality, what's doctor Money is the koko, how much does a doctor earn

I can pay 4 doctors in Nigeria, and I can pay 2 doctors in USA, so to hell with that useless doctor that will try nonsense I am a doctor bulshit!

Yes I met a lady some time ago, I didn't know she was a doctor, cos i care less about what any lady does for a living cos its inconsequential to me, i can make a jobless lady anything i want her to be so what, so we started dating and I then found out she was a doctor working with national hospital, just few months to our dating, I noticed arrogance in her, I quickly dropped her to her shock! She cried and pleaded to no avail, I can't take that bulshit. I can't call u and u don't return my call as my so called girlfriend, that ends our relationship, call back and I will end the call and call u back, its a sign of respect to return calls of important people in your life, don't ever ignore those little signs during courtship.

I pay attention to details because I don't want to end up with a lady that has been debased and used/dumped by another man who is still reeling in pains, I can't consume another mans vomit, never!

You ignored the signs during courtship! She wasn't proud of u. It is u the man that should be the one hiding not she. Me I don't even allow any of my gf to add me on Facebook, if u do, I unfriend u, I don't post pics, I have no pics on fb or anywhere, if u want to see me, come to my house or office, the business I have online is to make money and leave. Online is for women looking for praise and validation that they are pretty and those looking for man not for me anymore, not now.

Your wife's true love is either abroad or in her workplace or nearby.

As soon as your wife relocates abroad, that will be the end of your marriage with her.

Any day that her dream man, probably her former lover comes asking her back, she will run leave u, that's the truth!

Go and find out who and who your wife dated, u ought to know her dating history and the guy she loved the most and why. You ought to know this before u married her.

From my years of experience, Nigerian doctors, especially the females have pride and ego. That name doctor de shack their head, and funny enough doctors are the least earners, they hardly end up rich. Ordinary engineering graduate with OND that works with NLNG, Mobil, Shell, etc will pay 10 Nigerian doctors, so what's the fuss all about

Doctors time done expire, the only place they still earn well is US, Australia, Canada, UK (but tax takes back their income here), but doctors in Nigeria are as poor as teachers, so why the pride

Owo ni koko, money is the key now, internet, entertainment and ICT are the trending money makers now, so don't let any doctor do nonsense with u, tell them they are broke!

How much do they earn in Nigeria Highest is 350,000 if they are lucky to get job in federal hospital like national hospital. How much do they earn in USA $30 per hour, by 8hrs = $240 a day, multiply by 22 days, highest is $7,000, then minus tax of up to 35 - 40%, then you pay rent, gas, etc, how much is left

But some guys earn legally online $15,000 monthly not through scam, legitimate money, so don't let any nonsense feeling fucking doctor intimidate u, their time has passed!

Guys before u marry any Nigerian lady who is a doctor, make sure she sees u as her king if not drop her asap!

I have dated 3 doctors and they are all arrogant and prideful because of the nonsense doctor name and because some mumu Nigerians accord them so much respect for no reason I can tell.

Op, your wife is in love with someone else that didn't see her good enough to be his wife, and u went and carried another mans reject with your koro koro eyes

Its not as if she is feeding u or that u are broke, abeg start to show her less attention, get a hot looking side chick with big ass big like trailer and focus on having good time with the side chick and your guys, go home late, go out with her and friends on weekends, spend less time at home, call your wife less, but make sure u give ever enough money and material things to keep the home okay, but spend less time with her and at home.


Return back to bachelor life and in fact, make sure u get your own house, build good mansion as an architect, invest and then have a second plan so that if she succeeds in traveling abroad, u forget about her and move on with your life with a hotter, classier chick, because once she travels abroad, she will forget u and probably start flirting around with different men she admires over there, that's how they do, so prepare ahead, her dream guys go chop her tire for abroad and even her fellow doctors go de do for here if they are not doing already.

Marry Nigerian female doctor at your own peril, prideful arrogant broke people forming nonsense

I don't blame them, I blame the guys giving them attention sha

Benwallt:
Osalobua! Is this advice or hypolically bleached rundown. This thing you wrote though true and detailed fit make this man hang himself. He was looking 4 hope but you just told him he was right in the middle of pacific hopelessness.

Obhioba...I might be kinda chatty chatty here but in the real life I'm very laid back, reserved, talk less and I observe more.

I enjoy saying and dealing with issues just as they are an attribute that many find too "blunt" but I no fit come dey learn lefty for this my old age.

If you ask me for opinion I go tell you how e be then tell you say make you no vex o because I no fit lie...

At first, I was like... Op is not normal. But as I kept reading, I realised his wife is the abnormal partner in the marriage... probably a sadist.

My own is, stop wasting your money on gifts sha... na only that part dey pain me

ityP:



It's actually better the man's love exceed that of the lady. Women are wired for affection. This woman under consideration is one of the few weird women who doesn't crave affection. When a man loves a woman genuinely, it is easy for the woman to reciprocate, even if initially, she didn't feel anything for him.

you don't know anything about life

Dude be happy. The other side of the fence is far much worse.

Pkingman, she has always been like this yet you married her. The things that made you marry her is still there, love and focus on that. Don't stop loving and keep praying things turn around for better.
Best of luck...

UyaiIncomparabl:


If she so much hated attention, she wouldn't even post pictures of herself nor have agreed to take pictures. A person who doesn't like attention lives a private life online and offline. In her case, she's disgusted at him.

Some people like some part of their lives to be private.....you don't open all your world for people to read on social media. Sometimes, it is best to keep things that are dear to us away from social media!

femi4:
you don't know anything about life

Teach us, we want to learn...

Pkingman:
Age: I am 38 ,she is 34.

Her past dating life.. I met her very single.. She told me her last relationship ended about 8 months earlier..because the guy smoked and drank a lot, although he was also a doctor.
I met her while my mum had a ruptured appendix and was rushed to the hospital where she worked. She was very nice and friendly to her, treated her like her own mother and not like a patient. Maybe my mum would have died that night if not for her.While other members of the team were dragging leg and nonchalant about the case, she pushed it and operated on my mum that night around midnight. We became close during that period..I was always visiting my mum is I wanted to see her... I was lonely and needed to settle down and well, being a doctor.. I had to take the bold step.. And she accepted.. No hassles.
While dating, I thought she didn't want to show me off in case the relationship didn't work out or perhaps, maturity.. Showing off a boyfriend when her mates were already married ?

She told me I suited her in many ways.. Educational background, family, finance, physical attributes, career, etc.

On cheating : I don't think she is cheating. I don't need to clone her phone or social media accounts. Her devices are unlocked and open to me at anytime,even while we were dating. She can travel and leave her phone with me.. No password, no restrictions. It's even me who passwords my phones and she doesn't bother, has never made any attempt to touch my phone..

if you break up with that Lady, you are a fool

Pkingman:
On her relationship with me at home: She is a perfect partner.. Very friendly and jovial, respects me.. Despite her busy schedule, she still takes out time to keep the home running.. Cooks and does chores, without bothering me to assist.. I hate domestic chores ..we have no maid because she said she doesn't need a maid. My mum and hers take turns to visit and assist.

On Intimacy... Good.. Top notch.. Na she dey rush me sef. We play, pray and laugh.. We even watch football matches together. We both support Arsenal. We hardly quarrel.

On social functions : She isn't the very outgoing type.. More of an indoor person but we attend dew occasions together and she acts just okay... Not cold, not overly excited.. But if we take pictures together, she will never upload that but will rather upload her personal picture.

On gifts : I don't know if it's because she has her own money and can easily afford anything I buy for her.. She has never asked me for anything, even cash I give her because I believe I have to. She only says thank you, no excitement at all. Is this how independent women act?
I complained about this to her parents and siblings.. They said that's how she is.. But I don't feel good about this.. It's so not feminine. As if I am not adding anything to her.

On changing my attitude towards her : She doesn't even want me to put her up on social media as well.. So if I stop that, it won't bother her.
I can't just start giving her cold attitude at home.. No reason for that. Besides, she may just enjoy the space and shun me.. That will be to my own detriment because she sure knows how to keep to herself and mind her business while I can't .

My concern is that my friends, relatives, colleagues show off their partners and celebrate them online. They take pictures and post.. They use their spouses on their DPs.If I don't do same, won't people think my marriage is having issues? And my wife being the reason for this just doesn't sit well with me. I am uncomfortable about it because normal women don't behave like this. They are proud of being married. They are usually crazy about their husbands and look for every opportunity to show them off,display gifts and all that... How many women will husband buy new car for And they won't show off online, at least on whatsapp? Even though she already has a car she bought before we got married, I thought this will be different, being a new car and a SUV...Haba!

Your problem is simply that you are letting the society define for you what is normal and you want your wife to fit in by force by force.
Learn to accept your wife is different and focus on her positives, of which there are so many, so you can enjoy your marriage instead of wanting it to be normal. Save yourself the unnecessary stress.
Best.

cococandy:
You’ve met the type of woman you guys claim to like.
She’s not dependent on you AKA not a gold digger AKA not a leech.
She’s not a woman who loves to use social media AKA not a slay queen.

She’s been a good partner to you like you said. Now you want a slay queen and gold digger? Make up your mind

Fact is 80% of men will prefer this kind of woman and yes you're correct most men are repulsed by slay queens. He is more concerned about the question of whether she loves him or not and her predisposition to being barely excited about anything.

Goalnaldo:
if you break up with that Lady, you are a fool

Big fool, Aswear.

My friend, I'm in support of her for not displaying materials or families pictures on social media, with all evil news happening everywhere owning to media posting of wealth. For me I have warned my wife never to post anything about my family either pictures or gift on social media for any reasons.
Please don't expose yourself!

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

OP in ur mind you think you are tall and handsome. And probably think of urself as a fashionista.
However,The only reason I can think of is you've got a very bad fashion sense and she can't stand it . Hence she crops you out of her pics. Perhaps she has even discussed this with you but you wont agree cos you buy designer wear. Yet, ur dressing never complements each other. That would be a huge turn off.

Secondly. You like attention so much. You are the type that lives your life based on likes and retweets of your social media posts. You need to watch it. All that glitters is not gold.
Not all those showcasing their lives on social media truly have one. All na pretense. Dont live ur life by other people's measured standard and stop comparing your wife with other women. She's unique and please let her be.

Lastly, what are her preferences for gifts? Do what she appreciates.

Personally, if my husband gifts me a luxury car for example I wont appreciate it. I'm very practical and dont like cars like that. All I need is a functional car to move me from point A to B and any Toyota SUV recent model and make will be fine by me. I would appreciate it more if he buys me gold jewelry. You need to understand your wife's preferences for gifts.

And if after gifting her you will run to post such gesture on the social media then she will not show you appreciation.

Perhaps you also brag or throw it at her face during any little argument that you got her this or that gift then later apologize. If this assumption is ur attitude, then she will become rebellious and not show any emotion anytime you gift her.Afterall she doesn't need your gift in the first place.

I know a lady that wont show her husband any emotion when given a gift, yet when shes with her friends she never stops singing her husband praises.

You need to work on yourself and appreciate your wife.
Accept her for who she is and dont cause unnecessary issues with your low self esteem.

She ain't proud of you. Simple!

Does that worth cutting the relationship off?

The answer to that is personal

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

Lol... I think you are not alone... I have a female friend who is a doctor/surgeon... She posts pictures of only herself and coworkers on Facebook... We hardly see her husband.. .. We comment most times as to why she doesn't post pics of him... But she posted his pic for the first time and celebrated him on his birthday some months ago... I'm sure it's a thing with female doctors... They prefer low key marital life... I know this because, I have so many female friends who are doctors... Enjoy marital life and forget about public gratification

Bros, if u get this message jst take my word for it.. She doesnt love you..Its hard to come to terms with this truth but u jst have to. I am not saying u should dissolve your marriage . Do some findings. You be man na. I can assure you she is cheating probably with an old boyfirend or her 1st guy. Do a DNA on ur first child since u have d money. You might get the shocker of ur life...Check her fone, pictures, messages, calls, put a trail on her movements.. Trust me all these all worth it. I feel ur pain. Love is a wicked feeling, especially if its not reciprocated. Take heart. I jst hope my response gets to u. Pls take my advice.

I must say that you are a smart dude. but it dies not mean this like these wount happen to u. Do not listen to all these crap people are typing. Truth is all u have said is no threat to ur marriage even though I know u have expectations. U are not an item to be shown off or a product to be advertised. I just want you to enjoy life


ote author=Pkingman post=77158164]HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her? [/quote]

ojun50:
Yr story long

you saw all this befor u guys got married bt wave it out because u love her, my broda u are in it already jst enjoy the marriage.

its not about d love ,he loved d appellation (Doctor) which rily beclouded his sense of reason.....Honestly d wife is just waiting to get her visa and d children ready and dump his ass off...

Thats a lie.. I am a doctor myself and this doesnt exist



Lol... I think you are not alone... I have a female friend who is a doctor/surgeon... She posts pictures of only herself and coworkers on Facebook... We hardly see her husband.. .. We comment most times as to why she doesn't post pics of him... But she posted his pic for the first time and celebrated him on his birthday some months ago... I'm sure it's a thing with female doctors... They prefer low key marital life... I know this because, I have so many female friends who are doctors... Enjoy marital life and forget about public gratification [/quote]

Naturally she is nice and good even to Every man that will marry her but for having a man again she has a choice of the kind of man she would to marry but maybe you are not on that list. She can’t fail at her home responsibilities because naturally she is good at that but you are not her right man to be showing up and down. Sorry just bear with her, maybe later. But if is fat lady she will easily understand very soon I assure you that, because they can’t stay too long quarrying with their husband but if is short or thin lady, well sorry till thy Kingdom Come, I have no date for their nature

cococandy:
You’ve met the type of woman you guys claim to like.
She’s not dependent on you AKA not a gold digger AKA not a leech.
She’s not a woman who loves to use social media AKA not a slay queen.

She’s been a good partner to you like you said. Now you want a slay queen and gold digger? Make up your mind

wehreh

Heyzee5:

Wow! I think you nailed it on the head here. It seems OP does not realize that people with higher levels of intelligence usually do not have the capacity to act like everyday people. And considering the fact that she is a medical doctor in Nigeria, I believe she must be very intelligent.

Op, I believe there is nothing wrong with your wife, she's just fine!

The guy is just looking for what is not missing.

ojun50:
Yr story long

you saw all this befor u guys got married bt wave it out because u love her, my broda u are in it already jst enjoy the marriage.

God bless you bro

gaby:
Hmmm

Some of you guys are just so unfathomable and it irks me to no end how you bandy the word "educated" as if common sense is taught in schools especially our kinda schools.

You saw all these with your korokoro eyes while dating but simply pretended as usual that it wasn't there because in your mind your being an architect who can spoil her with gifts will cure her craze...fafafa fawoool

Look guy...zero love..is what that woman sure has for you and you disgust her fantastically. If she had her way or choice she wouldn't wish to be caught a thousand miles around you..its so frigging obvious. You were just a means to an end considering her biological time was waning..

She lost the one she truly loved for whatever reasons and was left with no choice than to manage you to fulfil all righteousness such as having a child seeing how time was ticking out on her coupled with pressures from her family too.

I won't be surprised if her true love is the one she is working towards moving closer to overseas.

I'm seated here typing and wondering how your "Architectural" brains could miss spotting how her "Doctoral or Surgical brain" is conveniently using you as the "available to be settled for in the absence of the desirables" haba oga...are you that low in self esteem or looks.

The lack of an okay self esteem is as well a huge turn off for most women so you know, and from the look of your write up you sure exudes this.

Wetin dey happen na...make una still try dey face reality and tackle am head on.

You see say you dey irritate person plus the person dey shame for you, you still dey force yourself on am cum dey claim successful architect. Your "trying too hard" to win her true love is even more repulsive to her including the gifts..

Na all these kind dundee characters dey make me sometimes dey agree say instead wey person go born mumu make e jejely born omila...

Abi na the woman disvirgin you or na Doctor kill you for your former life wey cum make you swear say you must marry doctor for your new life lol..

Guys make una dey shine una eye well well like my daughter abeg...no time to check time o

Just incase none of the above checks out...guy you dey marry person wey done die for one side prematurely wey him soul never rest according to the Nigerian gist.

Wake up man..you can do better than this...life is too long or short for all these arrant bullocks...yolo man...

That woman's true love is in a corner and probably getting his steady cut on the side from her because he must be married too hence your coming into the picture.

This story aptly captures and rings so true to the saying " Money can not buy love".

i agree with you kpatakpata

humilitypays:
Op Cc: Pkingman

Your wife does not love you, simple!

Your wife is not proud of you!

I used to be an international level relationship counsellor, and during those times, I met and counselled women of all races, class and profession. So I will be honest with you, no mincing words!

Your wife married you out of no other available choice. Your wife got heartbroken by her dream man, and she couldn't get another of her dream men to propose and marry her, her type of men weren't coming forth while her age advances without pity, and family was pressuring her to settle down, and you came onboard and she noticed you are serious to settle down and have the finance to settle down, so she decided to just marry you in order to fulfill all righteousness of being married.

Deep down her heart, you are the least of the type of men she admires and trips for. In fact, it still surprises and disgusts her that she married u, she can't believe it, she looks at u and get upset. When I was a relationship counselor, I learned a lot from women, it built my level of confidence with women and it helped me understood women of all races and class better. They confided in me. Many married women don't love their husbands, they married their husbands out of no choice. Their dream men weren't coming, some got heartbroken by their dream men, some their dream man wasn't financially buoyant to marry them and family pressure pushed to marry the rich men they married.

You maybe tall, dark, handsome but that's to you. Not all women love dark, tall and handsome, some ladies prefer average height guys, some prefer slim guys, some prefer plump guys, some even prefer fat guys, some prefer skinny guys, some prefer rugged looking guys, some prefer Churchy looking guys, so for ladies, they don't have a definite look of an ideal man, forget what you read online, it is only men that have a defined qualities of what they see as hot lady; big protruding buttocks, firm breast, flat tummy, ladies are not like men, sometimes the man they see as handsome maybe ugly to many other women, that's women for you.

And women's love radiate beyond physical looks, they consider inconsequential things and qualities u may hear and shiver, that's women, they are weird creatures, doesn't mean u are not so many ladies ideal man.

In fact, u maybe an ideal man to ladies hotter, prettier, classier and richer than your wife, yes that's the truth, but you decided to confined yourself to your wife as your supermodel from courtship.

I don't like it when a man who has financial stability confines himself to a certain lady who doesn't appreciate him, its disgusting, you are a man, act like a man and not like a sissy!

When I wasn't that financially okay, no lady, I mean no lady looked down on me, talkless of when God then answered my call, they no born that lady well. As it is now, I select ladies, in fact, 80% of so called hot ladies u see around can't meet my spec, so who born that lady that will push me aside, unless she is the daughter of USA President or Queen of England and she must be as sexy as Kim Kardashian too, they never born that lady.

How can you allow yourself to be sidelined by a lady, ah, they swear for you ni

I am sure what pushed you into this mess is I MUST MARRY A DOCTOR useless mentality, what's doctor Money is the koko, how much does a doctor earn

I can pay 4 doctors in Nigeria, and I can pay 2 doctors in USA, so to hell with that useless doctor that will try nonsense I am a doctor bulshit!

Yes I met a lady some time ago, I didn't know she was a doctor, cos i care less about what any lady does for a living cos its inconsequential to me, i can make a jobless lady anything i want her to be so what, so we started dating and I then found out she was a doctor working with national hospital, just few months to our dating, I noticed arrogance in her, I quickly dropped her to her shock! She cried and pleaded to no avail, I can't take that bulshit. I can't call u and u don't return my call as my so called girlfriend, that ends our relationship, call back and I will end the call and call u back, its a sign of respect to return calls of important people in your life, don't ever ignore those little signs during courtship.

I pay attention to details because I don't want to end up with a lady that has been debased and used/dumped by another man who is still reeling in pains, I can't consume another mans vomit, never!

You ignored the signs during courtship! She wasn't proud of u. It is u the man that should be the one hiding not she. Me I don't even allow any of my gf to add me on Facebook, if u do, I unfriend u, I don't post pics, I have no pics on fb or anywhere, if u want to see me, come to my house or office, the business I have online is to make money and leave. Online is for women looking for praise and validation that they are pretty and those looking for man not for me anymore, not now.

Your wife's true love is either abroad or in her workplace or nearby.

As soon as your wife relocates abroad, that will be the end of your marriage with her.

Any day that her dream man, probably her former lover comes asking her back, she will run leave u, that's the truth!

Go and find out who and who your wife dated, u ought to know her dating history and the guy she loved the most and why. You ought to know this before u married her.

From my years of experience, Nigerian doctors, especially the females have pride and ego. That name doctor de shack their head, and funny enough doctors are the least earners, they hardly end up rich. Ordinary engineering graduate with OND that works with NLNG, Mobil, Shell, etc will pay 10 Nigerian doctors, so what's the fuss all about

Doctors time done expire, the only place they still earn well is US, Australia, Canada, UK (but tax takes back their income here), but doctors in Nigeria are as poor as teachers, so why the pride

Owo ni koko, money is the key now, internet, entertainment and ICT are the trending money makers now, so don't let any doctor do nonsense with u, tell them they are broke!

How much do they earn in Nigeria Highest is 350,000 if they are lucky to get job in federal hospital like national hospital. How much do they earn in USA $30 per hour, by 8hrs = $240 a day, multiply by 22 days, highest is $7,000, then minus tax of up to 35 - 40%, then you pay rent, gas, etc, how much is left

But some guys earn legally online $15,000 monthly not through scam, legitimate money, so don't let any nonsense feeling fucking doctor intimidate u, their time has passed!

Guys before u marry any Nigerian lady who is a doctor, make sure she sees u as her king if not drop her asap!

I have dated 3 doctors and they are all arrogant and prideful because of the nonsense doctor name and because some mumu Nigerians accord them so much respect for no reason I can tell.

Op, your wife is in love with someone else that didn't see her good enough to be his wife, and u went and carried another mans reject with your koro koro eyes

Its not as if she is feeding u or that u are broke, abeg start to show her less attention, get a hot looking side chick with big ass big like trailer and focus on having good time with the side chick and your guys, go home late, go out with her and friends on weekends, spend less time at home, call your wife less, but make sure u give ever enough money and material things to keep the home okay, but spend less time with her and at home.


Return back to bachelor life and in fact, make sure u get your own house, build good mansion as an architect, invest and then have a second plan so that if she succeeds in traveling abroad, u forget about her and move on with your life with a hotter, classier chick, because once she travels abroad, she will forget u and probably start flirting around with different men she admires over there, that's how they do, so prepare ahead, her dream guys go chop her tire for abroad and even her fellow doctors go de do for here if they are not doing already.

Marry Nigerian female doctor at your own peril, prideful arrogant broke people forming nonsense

I don't blame them, I blame the guys giving them attention sha

Mr. international level relationship counsellor is this how you do your counselling. Money just dey shack you. Every thing in life is not about money and money is not everything.

humilitypays:
Op Cc: Pkingman

Your wife does not love you, simple!

Your wife is not proud of you!

I used to be an international level relationship counsellor, and during those times, I met and counselled women of all races, class and profession. So I will be honest with you, no mincing words!

Your wife married you out of no other available choice. Your wife got heartbroken by her dream man, and she couldn't get another of her dream men to propose and marry her, her type of men weren't coming forth while her age advances without pity, and family was pressuring her to settle down, and you came onboard and she noticed you are serious to settle down and have the finance to settle down, so she decided to just marry you in order to fulfill all righteousness of being married.

Deep down her heart, you are the least of the type of men she admires and trips for. In fact, it still surprises and disgusts her that she married u, she can't believe it, she looks at u and get upset. When I was a relationship counselor, I learned a lot from women, it built my level of confidence with women and it helped me understood women of all races and class better. They confided in me. Many married women don't love their husbands, they married their husbands out of no choice. Their dream men weren't coming, some got heartbroken by their dream men, some their dream man wasn't financially buoyant to marry them and family pressure pushed to marry the rich men they married.

You maybe tall, dark, handsome but that's to you. Not all women love dark, tall and handsome, some ladies prefer average height guys, some prefer slim guys, some prefer plump guys, some even prefer fat guys, some prefer skinny guys, some prefer rugged looking guys, some prefer Churchy looking guys, so for ladies, they don't have a definite look of an ideal man, forget what you read online, it is only men that have a defined qualities of what they see as hot lady; big protruding buttocks, firm breast, flat tummy, ladies are not like men, sometimes the man they see as handsome maybe ugly to many other women, that's women for you.

And women's love radiate beyond physical looks, they consider inconsequential things and qualities u may hear and shiver, that's women, they are weird creatures, doesn't mean u are not so many ladies ideal man.

In fact, u maybe an ideal man to ladies hotter, prettier, classier and richer than your wife, yes that's the truth, but you decided to confined yourself to your wife as your supermodel from courtship.

I don't like it when a man who has financial stability confines himself to a certain lady who doesn't appreciate him, its disgusting, you are a man, act like a man and not like a sissy!

When I wasn't that financially okay, no lady, I mean no lady looked down on me, talkless of when God then answered my call, they no born that lady well. As it is now, I select ladies, in fact, 80% of so called hot ladies u see around can't meet my spec, so who born that lady that will push me aside, unless she is the daughter of USA President or Queen of England and she must be as sexy as Kim Kardashian too, they never born that lady.

How can you allow yourself to be sidelined by a lady, ah, they swear for you ni

I am sure what pushed you into this mess is I MUST MARRY A DOCTOR useless mentality, what's doctor Money is the koko, how much does a doctor earn

I can pay 4 doctors in Nigeria, and I can pay 2 doctors in USA, so to hell with that useless doctor that will try nonsense I am a doctor bulshit!

Yes I met a lady some time ago, I didn't know she was a doctor, cos i care less about what any lady does for a living cos its inconsequential to me, i can make a jobless lady anything i want her to be so what, so we started dating and I then found out she was a doctor working with national hospital, just few months to our dating, I noticed arrogance in her, I quickly dropped her to her shock! She cried and pleaded to no avail, I can't take that bulshit. I can't call u and u don't return my call as my so called girlfriend, that ends our relationship, call back and I will end the call and call u back, its a sign of respect to return calls of important people in your life, don't ever ignore those little signs during courtship.

I pay attention to details because I don't want to end up with a lady that has been debased and used/dumped by another man who is still reeling in pains, I can't consume another mans vomit, never!

You ignored the signs during courtship! She wasn't proud of u. It is u the man that should be the one hiding not she. Me I don't even allow any of my gf to add me on Facebook, if u do, I unfriend u, I don't post pics, I have no pics on fb or anywhere, if u want to see me, come to my house or office, the business I have online is to make money and leave. Online is for women looking for praise and validation that they are pretty and those looking for man not for me anymore, not now.

Your wife's true love is either abroad or in her workplace or nearby.

As soon as your wife relocates abroad, that will be the end of your marriage with her.

Any day that her dream man, probably her former lover comes asking her back, she will run leave u, that's the truth!

Go and find out who and who your wife dated, u ought to know her dating history and the guy she loved the most and why. You ought to know this before u married her.

From my years of experience, Nigerian doctors, especially the females have pride and ego. That name doctor de shack their head, and funny enough doctors are the least earners, they hardly end up rich. Ordinary engineering graduate with OND that works with NLNG, Mobil, Shell, etc will pay 10 Nigerian doctors, so what's the fuss all about

Doctors time done expire, the only place they still earn well is US, Australia, Canada, UK (but tax takes back their income here), but doctors in Nigeria are as poor as teachers, so why the pride

Owo ni koko, money is the key now, internet, entertainment and ICT are the trending money makers now, so don't let any doctor do nonsense with u, tell them they are broke!

How much do they earn in Nigeria Highest is 350,000 if they are lucky to get job in federal hospital like national hospital. How much do they earn in USA $30 per hour, by 8hrs = $240 a day, multiply by 22 days, highest is $7,000, then minus tax of up to 35 - 40%, then you pay rent, gas, etc, how much is left

But some guys earn legally online $15,000 monthly not through scam, legitimate money, so don't let any nonsense feeling fucking doctor intimidate u, their time has passed!

Guys before u marry any Nigerian lady who is a doctor, make sure she sees u as her king if not drop her asap!

I have dated 3 doctors and they are all arrogant and prideful because of the nonsense doctor name and because some mumu Nigerians accord them so much respect for no reason I can tell.

Op, your wife is in love with someone else that didn't see her good enough to be his wife, and u went and carried another mans reject with your koro koro eyes

Its not as if she is feeding u or that u are broke, abeg start to show her less attention, get a hot looking side chick with big ass big like trailer and focus on having good time with the side chick and your guys, go home late, go out with her and friends on weekends, spend less time at home, call your wife less, but make sure u give ever enough money and material things to keep the home okay, but spend less time with her and at home.


Return back to bachelor life and in fact, make sure u get your own house, build good mansion as an architect, invest and then have a second plan so that if she succeeds in traveling abroad, u forget about her and move on with your life with a hotter, classier chick, because once she travels abroad, she will forget u and probably start flirting around with different men she admires over there, that's how they do, so prepare ahead, her dream guys go chop her tire for abroad and even her fellow doctors go de do for here if they are not doing already.

Marry Nigerian female doctor at your own peril, prideful arrogant broke people forming nonsense

I don't blame them, I blame the guys giving them attention sha

From all the spiteful gibberish you posted up there, I'll advice you seek help.