₦airaland Forum

It is you op that is a problem in that marriage.Try to understand your woman and wife very well and I believe your mindset about her will change.It is not every body that likes this social media show,Mr.Op, I am a perfect example of a man who doesn't like social media stunt. In my fb ,I have one little cropped up picture of myself and that's all. It will interest you to know that I live abroad for past 19 years. I have thousands of pictures taken with flashy clothes and cars at beautiful spots but non is in my fb or IG. So, forget about this showing up in sm and move on with your life and be happy with your family.The only thing that should bother you is her plans to relocate abroad because doctors are hotcakes abroad and as you have started complaining already,I doubt if she will give you the attentions you wants and deserves when she travels abroad.

tete7000:
Teach us, we want to learn...

A woman is an emotional being. If she doesn't feel you, she ll never RESPECT or APPRECIATE her man. You don't buy such love with GIFTS cos it never existed in the first place.

What a man need from his woman is RESPECT, PRAISE and APPRECIATION. You won't get it if she's not mad over you.
No Man will experience that and wouldn't give his all to such woman

UyaiIncomparabl:
She's not abnormal. All of her actions are/were premeditated and as thus; are conscious choices she's made overtime.

I can't come to a conclusion on this, but I think (a strong possibility) that your wife doesn't love you. You' were just available for her to make as a choice to salvage her biological clock from waning out.

Just as they say, when the desirable isn't available, you make the available one your choice. I love to show off what I 'LOVE'. So you see, it's tit for tat.

A deep check; She takes pictures, but excludes/crops you out, you tag her, she untags you, you buy her gifts, she cringes and in turn makes you feel worthless, she tells you she doesn't need to show you off to the world to know you both are married. That's a blatant lie from the abyss. In as much as I want to be stingy, nay say cautious with the truth, but I have to let it all out. You're not her fantasy. Forget that part about you being tall, dark and handsome. Beauty is subjective. You may think you're attractive but she sees you below that. How do you people even make love? Is there chemistry?

Another thing, you saw these signs during courtship and still stubbornly had to dive in? You're the architect of your own misfortune. I just hope she hasn't been cheating on you. I won't say she's unemotional, she isn't. (A person with less or little emotion transcends such vibe to people around him/her, they have no feelings). She just doesn't vibe with you. Communicate with her and hear her reasons out. I'm 100% sure it'll be gibberish. If it persists, don't be afraid to lose yourself (meet people and hobnob, and of course, get a side chick who'll heal your heart from the worries your wife gives you ). Act like you don't care. Flirt a little. She go do normal. You'll worry less eventually. I'm one against cheating, but I wouldn't have people treated like garbage.

PS; I can be very unemotional and non-challant, but this is off the radar. I only show off who shows me off. Say no to one-sided relationships!

The faster you know that humans love opportunistically, the better.
In your next life, learn not to be a second choice and don't be afraid to chose rigidly too.

come u talk too much, are u a parrot?

UyaiIncomparabl:
No darling. I'm not like that.

you too are just funny. Lol

Acidosis:
..but why would you marry someone who isn't madly in love with you? BTW, no one is emotionless, they just haven't found the one they love. Love do not obey certain human principles, e.g. privacy. Love should make you go out of bounds sometimes.

Two things are involved here; first, your wife is still crazy about an ex she couldn't marry due to family issues, genotype, and other external, not personality differences or infighting. Second, your wife has never been privileged to fall in love with a man.

While the first option spells more doom, you still have the power to turn around the situation. You can make absolutely any woman fall in love with you. It is never too late to change the situation.

You have used attention, incessant gifts, and obsession and nothing has changed. Have you tried withdrawing, making yourself unavailable and giving her the impression her love is unimportant? Women are wired in a different way bro. You need to withdraw the expression of some feelings and act of loving to get her attention. If you made her picture your wallpaper, delete. Remove her picture on your dp and don't upload any for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. That's how you get her attention and put her emotions to work.

My man! That's the drill. A woman will not want something that has no value.
@op. I truly feel sorry for you. I understand what you are going through. My advice? Act like you don't care no more(provide for the house o) get your groove on. Go out alone. Dress cool, grab ur car keys and roll out. Make her see that you are having fun without her. Don't be bothered whether she shows you off or not. Don't even discuss that shi* with he again.
To take it a notch level, make it seem as if women are desiring you outside. Don't flaunt it, just make it barely perceptible that some chicks are giving you the eyes outside ( don't say it verbally o). Have some random chick call you at home and laugh heartily on the phone, throwing small banters with her. Funny as it seems, things like this always work.
When you pursue a woman relentlessly, she see u finish, but when you stand aloof sometimes, it makes them desire you. Secondly, a woman does not want a man who other ladies do not desire. It's funny but true. Most men feel that allowing other ladies to show interest at them will chase away the one they desire. No,it will make come closer trying to decipher what makes you tick.
For some, it becomes a competition for them to win you and flaunt you to the other competitors. It makes them feel accomplished.
Sorry for my not properly arranged message, I'm late for the office. I wish you luck bro.
You can shot me a mail if you wanna talk.there are things I can't discuss here

ozoono:
come u talk too much, are u a parrot?

lmao

Kiezodumah:
Thats a lie.. I am a doctor myself and this doesnt exist



Lol... I think you are not alone... I have a female friend who is a doctor/surgeon... She posts pictures of only herself and coworkers on Facebook... We hardly see her husband.. .. We comment most times as to why she doesn't post pics of him... But she posted his pic for the first time and celebrated him on his birthday some months ago... I'm sure it's a thing with female doctors... They prefer low key marital life... I know this because, I have so many female friends who are doctors... Enjoy marital life and forget about public gratification

shutup! It's because you broke male doctors deceive them in the hospital, pestering them for sex, and misleading them with cock and bull stories!

I have dated 3 doctors, they are all the same; prideful, arrogant, have high tendency for cheating, especially with fellow senior surgeons, especially the so called consultants.

I have cousins and relatives who are doctors, some working abroad and in FG hospitals, doctors have issue, most are prideful, arrogant, and at the end, the engineers and the accountants are richer than u lots!

In my community, all the doctors are average people, the engineers, the business guys, the accountants, etc are the richest living luxury life, but pride won't let doctors bring down their heads and respect those richer than them.

Soon I will be a doctor too by PhD, so what the Bleep is wrong with you broke doctors

Tell those your female colleagues that if not for some mumu Nigerian guys who see female doctors as demigod, them for find husband tire cos many guys are running away from doctors now, they prefer nurses self to the arrogant female doctors!!

Keep deceiving them and keep smooching them at work while your mates make millions and billions, after race we count miles

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

Apart from social media show-off, how is she off social media? Is she lively with you when u guys are alone?

Pkingman:
On her relationship with me at home: She is a perfect partner.. Very friendly and jovial, respects me.. Despite her busy schedule, she still takes out time to keep the home running.. Cooks and does chores, without bothering me to assist.. I hate domestic chores ..we have no maid because she said she doesn't need a maid. My mum and hers take turns to visit and assist.

On Intimacy... Good.. Top notch.. Na she dey rush me sef. We play, pray and laugh.. We even watch football matches together. We both support Arsenal. We hardly quarrel.

On social functions : She isn't the very outgoing type.. More of an indoor person but we attend dew occasions together and she acts just okay... Not cold, not overly excited.. But if we take pictures together, she will never upload that but will rather upload her personal picture.

On gifts : I don't know if it's because she has her own money and can easily afford anything I buy for her.. She has never asked me for anything, even cash I give her because I believe I have to. She only says thank you, no excitement at all. Is this how independent women act?
I complained about this to her parents and siblings.. They said that's how she is.. But I don't feel good about this.. It's so not feminine. As if I am not adding anything to her.

On changing my attitude towards her : She doesn't even want me to put her up on social media as well.. So if I stop that, it won't bother her.
I can't just start giving her cold attitude at home.. No reason for that. Besides, she may just enjoy the space and shun me.. That will be to my own detriment because she sure knows how to keep to herself and mind her business while I can't .

My concern is that my friends, relatives, colleagues show off their partners and celebrate them online. They take pictures and post.. They use their spouses on their DPs.If I don't do same, won't people think my marriage is having issues? And my wife being the reason for this just doesn't sit well with me. I am uncomfortable about it because normal women don't behave like this. They are proud of being married. They are usually crazy about their husbands and look for every opportunity to show them off,display gifts and all that... How many women will husband buy new car for And they won't show off online, at least on whatsapp? Even though she already has a car she bought before we got married, I thought this will be different, being a new car and a SUV...Haba!

Bros, it’s just her nature to be private.

I don’t think I would like anyone (much less my wife) cropping me out of her picture before posting. That is very strange. However, just accept her like that.

If she’s a good wife and a good person, then this special kind of reclusiveness can be ignored. Continue being the awesome husband she married. All the best.

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

I think your wife is a proud woman, there are many women like her who see themselves above the level society puts women like Opera Winfrey, Ellen Dgeneres, etc. I wouldn't call them feminists per se, but women of substance. Your wife would have been more proud to show you off if she had married you with nothing and she raised you up, then she would be proud to show you off as a piece of her handiwork. She got married in her 30s because of societal pressure and that is not because she is willing to subjugate herself for a man as a housewife by broadcasting the marriage to the world. Though I think there might be issue concerning you as her ideal man, the women like your wife are more committed to their professions than any conjugal obligations. Check her up in terms of her profession as a surgeon and her commitments towards it, you will see there is more passion in that than her marriage, reason why she wanted to travel overseas.

if you want to win your wife's heart and prolong your marriage, I think you will be better off by focusing on things that help her to grow professionally. so make yourself a part of things she loves to do professionally. that's my little advice.

Pkingman, I read all your posts about your problem with your wife and to be honest, you don't have any problem. Your wife is an introvert. She's not abnormal. Stop using the standard of most women to judge her and you'll have no problem. Introvertedness in women manifests itself in many ways. Personally, I hate taking pictures, even in groups and I'm usually the one behind the camera. I don't upload any of my pictures or that of my family on social media. Your wife's method is just different. Some others don't post achievements too because it feels a lot like bragging..that's probably why she didn't post anything about your car gift. As for your problem of birthdays, we usually find it easier to do things for those we are romantically involved with than go to social media to post because we believe the actions count more than posting on social media. That private party she threw is a gesture of love on her part. Social media posts are overrated to us.
But, I think you should talk to your wife, tell her everything you told us on your first post...be completely honest about how her actions make you feel, she'll probably adjust to accommodate your feelings. Marriage is about communication.
Please ignore all the replies you're getting about how she's not proud of you and married you as an option. They are based on the impression you created in your first post. I thought the same too until I read your subsequent posts. Not many people here have the patience to read beyond the first page of a topic and not many can understand the actions of an introvert unless they are one. Your wife loves you, both of just need to talk and adjust to each other's nature

Skeendip:
why did you marry her?

I'm guessing because she is a doctor

Perfect wife. The kind I'll like. I don't like ppl showing off on social media. Live quiet and humble.

Mr Op, Doctors are made of steel nerves so accept ur wife d way she is.Maybe u proposed to her because u needed a woman with financial security,and she knew but u accepted because time was running out on her.You did not mention ur ages but I believe she may be older. Don't worry.Just try to copy exactly her attitude towards you and give her same.Never cheat on her.Control ur sex life and keep off from her.She is about to relocate abi.Make d remaining time u have with her here to look like a working relationship.Just like business relationship. But double ur hussle.Later u will still enjoy this union trust me.My marriage started like this and was so for 20 years.My father advised me to be patient.I obeyed. Now my marriage is 35 and its bliss these days.My own turn around came when i became critically ill.My wife showered on me d kind of love i never thought she could give.Let her be for now..If she is yours she will turn around but if she does not turn around,she never was yours.Soak all your energy in your work and see d outcome later.Love could be tested for decades.U are already d boss because u have kids.They will come into play in due course.Even if she is cheating make it a non issue.Dont discuss d matter with her anymore.Keep being a committed husband in all things.Dont rubb inn ur indifference towards her.Behave as if you are now too busy.Dont ever discuss ur work with her.Just be punctual in everything and remain emotion less.If she travells do not bother her with calls.If she calls u answer.etc.People actually dont value what they have till they loose it.U dont know what d future holds so Cheer up.

So pathetic.

UyaiIncomparabl:
No darling. I'm not like that.

o goodness you are beautiful

My little advice for you: Never marry an independent woman who is over 30. You will suffer for it.

I always tell men that independent woman who is already doing the job of her dream disrespect alot. To cut long story short, your wife doesn't regard you as husband. She sees you as donor of sperm for her to get baby.

No stupid woman can try that with me. I have the login details of my wife in all her social media accounts. I upload any picture I want, block those I don't like, warn those who talk to her.

Bros drop that bitch, she ain't worth the stress abeg.

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

Op, as someone as said, change your marriage status to single on social media account, delete her pics, upload pics of colleagues as well, praise tell etc... If your wife remains the same after these, then, you need to file for divorce..

Pkingman:
On her relationship with me at home: She is a perfect partner.. Very friendly and jovial, respects me.. Despite her busy schedule, she still takes out time to keep the home running.. Cooks and does chores, without bothering me to assist.. I hate domestic chores ..we have no maid because she said she doesn't need a maid. My mum and hers take turns to visit and assist.

On Intimacy... Good.. Top notch.. Na she dey rush me sef. We play, pray and laugh.. We even watch football matches together. We both support Arsenal. We hardly quarrel.

On social functions : She isn't the very outgoing type.. More of an indoor person but we attend dew occasions together and she acts just okay... Not cold, not overly excited.. But if we take pictures together, she will never upload that but will rather upload her personal picture.

On gifts : I don't know if it's because she has her own money and can easily afford anything I buy for her.. She has never asked me for anything, even cash I give her because I believe I have to. She only says thank you, no excitement at all. Is this how independent women act?
I complained about this to her parents and siblings.. They said that's how she is.. But I don't feel good about this.. It's so not feminine. As if I am not adding anything to her.

On changing my attitude towards her : She doesn't even want me to put her up on social media as well.. So if I stop that, it won't bother her.
I can't just start giving her cold attitude at home.. No reason for that. Besides, she may just enjoy the space and shun me.. That will be to my own detriment because she sure knows how to keep to herself and mind her business while I can't .

My concern is that my friends, relatives, colleagues show off their partners and celebrate them online. They take pictures and post.. They use their spouses on their DPs.If I don't do same, won't people think my marriage is having issues? And my wife being the reason for this just doesn't sit well with me. I am uncomfortable about it because normal women don't behave like this. They are proud of being married. They are usually crazy about their husbands and look for every opportunity to show them off,display gifts and all that... How many women will husband buy new car for And they won't show off online, at least on whatsapp? Even though she already has a car she bought before we got married, I thought this will be different, being a new car and a SUV...Haba!

Oga if all you have written so far about your wife is true, then there is nothing wrong with her. She is just too MATURE FOR YOU. Her independent lifestyle is the reason for her attitude towards gifts. Truth be told, your wife had no issue with her biological clock. So cares less about that. If in doubt, ask her friends and family members.

Op, you didn't study her properly before getting married to her. What freaks you doesn't freak her.

YOUR WIFE IS MORE MATURE THAN YOU KNOW AND MUCH MORE THAN YOU ARE

femi4:
A woman is an emotional being. If she doesn't feel you, she ll never RESPECT or APPRECIATE her man. You don't buy such love with GIFTS cos it never existed in the first place.

What a man need from his woman is RESPECT, PRAISE and APPRECIATION. You won't get it if she's not mad over you.
No Man will experience that and wouldn't give his all to such woman

Women are more emotional more than men abu?


Alpha males say lots of bullshît to glorify themselves on this forum


Cc pocohantas: antibrutus eketem

Pkingman:
Age: I am 38 ,she is 34.

Her past dating life.. I met her very single.. She told me her last relationship ended about 8 months earlier..because the guy smoked and drank a lot, although he was also a doctor.
I met her while my mum had a ruptured appendix and was rushed to the hospital where she worked. She was very nice and friendly to her, treated her like her own mother and not like a patient. Maybe my mum would have died that night if not for her.While other members of the team were dragging leg and nonchalant about the case, she pushed it and operated on my mum that night around midnight. We became close during that period..I was always visiting my mum is I wanted to see her... I was lonely and needed to settle down and well, being a doctor.. I had to take the bold step.. And she accepted.. No hassles.
While dating, I thought she didn't want to show me off in case the relationship didn't work out or perhaps, maturity.. Showing off a boyfriend when her mates were already married ?

She told me I suited her in many ways.. Educational background, family, finance, physical attributes, career, etc.

On cheating : I don't think she is cheating. I don't need to clone her phone or social media accounts. Her devices are unlocked and open to me at anytime,even while we were dating. She can travel and leave her phone with me.. No password, no restrictions. It's even me who passwords my phones and she doesn't bother, has never made any attempt to touch my phone..

Op I don't usually comment but I read your topic and I felt most people are missing the point. I believe your wife has an INFJ personality which are the rarest in the world.
People like that are usually very private but emphatic and you win them over by being sincere and genuine. The more gifts or physical ways to try and win them over the more repulsive they find you. They need to be understood in a low and deep way. INFJs usually end up having very deep warm relationships once they believe you are sincere.

Please read this it is very important https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality
Please read up to the romantic relationships chapter/page.

There are so many vast generalisations on nairaland. I may be wrong but after reading your 3 posts including the one about treating your mother this is what I find likely.

I hope things work out.

See gbege

lawman88:
My little advice for you: Never marry an independent woman who is over 30. You will suffer for it.

I always tell men that independent woman who is already doing the job of her dream disrespect alot. To cut long story short, your wife doesn't regard you as husband. She sees you as donor of sperm for her to get baby.

No stupid woman can try that with me. I have the login details of my wife in all her social media accounts. I upload any picture I want, block those I don't like, warn those who talk to her.

Do you live in a cave?

sacajawea:
Lol As Soon as He said Medical Dr, a Nigerian Medical Dr it is Finished
Those People are Sick Cold People
You are Married to a Sociopath! OP this is Just the beginning

D3m Don do dis one strong thing

Elder0001:
Do you live in a cave?

My dear,. Help me ask

Oga.. I can not kill myself for all these long write up... Too long to read..

Lazy Nigeria like us shaa...lol.

But all I can say is this..

Whatever happened in marriage is your fault..

Because you did not prepare "for marriage"... You prepare "in marriage"..

Marriage you did not prepare for will sink you...

And stop complaining your wife doesn't post your pictures here... Who social networks help?

Build your relationship with God and let her see the real God in you...

U will thank me later..

NobleView:
Op I don't usually comment but I read your topic and I felt most people are missing the point. I believe your wife has an INFJ personality which are the rarest in the world.
People like that are usually very private but emphatic and you win them over by being sincere and genuine. The more gifts or physical ways to try and win them over the more repulsive they find you. They need to be understood in a low and deep way. INFJs usually end up having very deep warm relationships once they believe you are sincere.

Please read this it is very important https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality
Please read up to the romantic relationships chapter/page.

There are so many vast generalisations on nairaland. I may be wrong but after reading your 3 posts including the one about treating your mother this is what I find likely.

I hope things work out.

GOD BLESS YOU REAL GOOD..

Op didn't study his wife properly before getting married to her. She is much more matured for his level.. Simple

gaby:
Hmmm

Some of you guys are just so unfathomable and it irks me to no end how you bandy the word "educated" as if common sense is taught in schools especially our kinda schools.

You saw all these with your korokoro eyes while dating but simply pretended as usual that it wasn't there because in your mind your being an architect who can spoil her with gifts will cure her craze...fafafa fawoool

Look guy...zero love..is what that woman sure has for you and you disgust her fantastically. If she had her way or choice she wouldn't wish to be caught a thousand miles around you..its so frigging obvious. You were just a means to an end considering her biological time was waning..

She lost the one she truly loved for whatever reasons and was left with no choice than to manage you to fulfil all righteousness such as having a child seeing how time was ticking out on her coupled with pressures from her family too.

I won't be surprised if her true love is the one she is working towards moving closer to overseas.

I'm seated here typing and wondering how your "Architectural" brains could miss spotting how her "Doctoral or Surgical brain" is conveniently using you as the "available to be settled for in the absence of the desirables" haba oga...are you that low in self esteem or looks.

The lack of an okay self esteem is as well a huge turn off for most women so you know, and from the look of your write up you sure exudes this.

Wetin dey happen na...make una still try dey face reality and tackle am head on.

You see say you dey irritate person plus the person dey shame for you, you still dey force yourself on am cum dey claim successful architect. Your "trying too hard" to win her true love is even more repulsive to her including the gifts..

Na all these kind dundee characters dey make me sometimes dey agree say instead wey person go born mumu make e jejely born omila...

Abi na the woman disvirgin you or na Doctor kill you for your former life wey cum make you swear say you must marry doctor for your new life lol..

Guys make una dey shine una eye well well like my daughter abeg...no time to check time o

Just incase none of the above checks out...guy you dey marry person wey done die for one side prematurely wey him soul never rest according to the Nigerian gist.

Wake up man..you can do better than this...life is too long or short for all these arrant bullocks...yolo man...

That woman's true love is in a corner and probably getting his steady cut on the side from her because he must be married too hence your coming into the picture.

This story aptly captures and rings so true to the saying " Money can not buy love".

Bro, my name is also Gaby, u said my mind already. U nailed it

This guy is just a mumu.

With all these signs, he still married her, and still living with her.

To the OP, pls u need to understand that u got married to yourself, that lady wil relocate overseas and abandone you. If u like, relocate with her abroad because u don't want to lose her.
The reality is that, u can't lose what you don't have. In her mind, u are not her husband. U are just a pun

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

...sorry about your predicament.... she doesn't love you and to make matters worst, she has someone somewhere she still has hope to settle with... common man, you have a child and expecting another one...is not to late to marry again..

MrLankeeee:
Maybe she has spiritual husband.

can that ve the reason bro ? Shes more light please

the truth is that she doesn’t love u.
The same with my husband, we had introduction for close to 3yrs and he already has another person he was planning to marry in his new state of work.
He was eventually forced with d marriage . As soon as d we wedded, he deleted all social media he could b tagged with the wedding.