₦airaland Forum

victorian:
Oh

Yesso

That's Davido. Look better than him sha,,,but the Money

deltateam:
Are you married? I doubt. You think husband - wife relationship is the same with boyfriend-girlfriend own?

This is not a matter of boyfriend and girl or husband and wife ish.. It is about being treated for what he is worth. That woman respect a rag more than she respect or value him. She does not love him, she does not cherish him, she does not value , she does not respect him. It is glaring. And the best way to go about it is also give her same dose of what she gives him. It is simple. You reap what you sow... garbage in, garbage out. That is the rule to life.

I will keep my opinion as brief as possible:

1. Her heart certainly hangs with someone.

2. Check your child's DNA. Sounds tough but you've got
to.

3. If the DNA results sounds funny, fight and keep the
child. That would stir her hornets bee nest to open
up, what's between her and anyone.

4. She probably could be possessed.

5. She plans to relocate to London? World's no.1 city of
infidelity and divorce? To reunite with who?

6. Soldiers forge on even when love, withers. Rule your
word and GLOW. I am an Architect too but don't take
bullocks from no one.

7. Try find out who she was with, before. If she prefers
being back with the dude, let her roll.

8. She's definitely an insatiable woman, upon all God
did for her. Gave her marriage at 30+. Don't be the
pawn. Take your ground and STOP BEING LILY
LIVERED.

9. Your wife has a big HOLE OF SECRETS she's kept
from you, about her past. WAS SHE PROPOSED TO
& KEPT DISAPPOINTED BEFORE?

10. Stay strong. Hardwork no wisdom is nonsense.

I will keep my opinion as brief as possible:

1. Her heart certainly hangs with someone.

2. Check your child's DNA. Sounds tough but you've got
to.

3. If the DNA results sounds funny, fight and keep the
child. That would stir her hornets bee nest to open
up, what's between her and anyone.

4. She probably could be possessed.

5. She plans to relocate to London? World's no.1 city of
infidelity and divorce? To reunite with who?

6. Soldiers forge on even when love, withers. Rule your
word and GLOW. I am an Architect too but don't take
bullocks from no one.

7. Try find out who she was with, before. If she prefers
being back with the dude, let her roll.

8. She's definitely an insatiable woman, upon all God
did for her. Gave her marriage at 30+. Don't be the
pawn. Take your ground and STOP BEING LILY
LIVERED.

9. Your wife has a big HOLE OF SECRETS she's kept
from you, about her past. WAS SHE PROPOSED TO
& KEPT DISAPPOINTED BEFORE?

10. Stay strong. Hardwork no wisdom is nonsense!

femi4:
you don't know anything about life

Lol... It's the truth whether u like it or not... Even the Bible designate the man to LOVE HIS WIFE and the woman to RESPECT HER HUSBAND. It doesn't mean that the man shouldn't respect his wife or the wife shouldn't love her husband, it just means the husband's love should overshadow the wife's and the wife's respect should supercede her husband's... Its as simply as that... If a woman loves a man more than he does her, that relationship just can't work...

OP walai d lady just using u to pass time.


if shes Older than u it will be dolifficult for her to walk with u or show u off on social media.


but u make a fucking mistake when u detect all dis when u are still dating u shouldny have Go on with her.



u must marry ur WIFE for better for worst.

larryking540:
religious is a scam abi,

go thief instrument (drum set) for church, then u will kno if it is a scam or not

I am a Biafran, Biafrans don't steal but Nigerians both young and old, both electorates and their government are thieves.

gaby:
Hmmm

Some of you guys are just so unfathomable and it irks me to no end how you bandy the word "educated" as if common sense is taught in schools especially our kinda schools.

You saw all these with your korokoro eyes while dating but simply pretended as usual that it wasn't there because in your mind your being an architect who can spoil her with gifts will cure her craze...fafafa fawoool

Look guy...zero love..is what that woman sure has for you and you disgust her fantastically. If she had her way or choice she wouldn't wish to be caught a thousand miles around you..its so frigging obvious. You were just a means to an end considering her biological time was waning..

She lost the one she truly loved for whatever reasons and was left with no choice than to manage you to fulfil all righteousness such as having a child seeing how time was ticking out on her coupled with pressures from her family too.

I won't be surprised if her true love is the one she is working towards moving closer to overseas.

I'm seated here typing and wondering how your "Architectural" brains could miss spotting how her "Doctoral or Surgical brain" is conveniently using you as the "available to be settled for in the absence of the desirables" haba oga...are you that low in self esteem or looks.

The lack of an okay self esteem is as well a huge turn off for most women so you know, and from the look of your write up you sure exudes this.

Wetin dey happen na...make una still try dey face reality and tackle am head on.

You see say you dey irritate person plus the person dey shame for you, you still dey force yourself on am cum dey claim successful architect. Your "trying too hard" to win her true love is even more repulsive to her including the gifts..

Na all these kind dundee characters dey make me sometimes dey agree say instead wey person go born mumu make e jejely born omila...

Abi na the woman disvirgin you or na Doctor kill you for your former life wey cum make you swear say you must marry doctor for your new life lol..

Guys make una dey shine una eye well well like my daughter abeg...no time to check time o

Just incase none of the above checks out...guy you dey marry person wey done die for one side prematurely wey him soul never rest according to the Nigerian gist.

Wake up man..you can do better than this...life is too long or short for all these arrant bullocks...yolo man...

That woman's true love is in a corner and probably getting his steady cut on the side from her because he must be married too hence your coming into the picture.

This story aptly captures and rings so true to the saying " Money can not buy love".

Sorry, I have to quote you. Your analysis leaves me perplexed because I am just like the wife of the OP. I have never shown my husband off on social media. No wedding pix, no cute lovey dovey stuff. I don't wish him happy birthday or comment on his post cos we are not friends.
Apart from our circle, folks on social media don't know I'm married to him. I love hubby like crazy, I'm proud of him and would sacrifice anything for him but in my mind, social media is a taboo when it comes to family. I hide my family like kilode. Hubby has never complained nor commented. I don't need to announce to the world that my marriage is good.

I am also very none enthusiastic when given gifts. They don't trip me, reason I couldn't be bought by any man when single. I used to react that way when hubby gave me gifts, even when he bought me a car, now I muster up a little excitement to thank him just so he wouldn't feel bad. I am not demanding neither do I care about his money.

Why I am writing this is because I see myself in that woman, and since I am just like her I'm wondering if your analysis is wrong. I do not have a secret lover or love interest. I've only ever loved my husband in the real sense of the word and the thought of cheating has never crossed my mind, so I'm wondering, could you be wrong about her?.

@OP, your wife MAY just be like me. I don't presume to know what goes on in your marriage, but I'd advise you take most of the advice given here with caution. An innocent woman may just be accused wrongly by folks whose first explanation to everything is cheating.

Dr. Ubunja, you have a patient o

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

Op i saw this your post late so i am typing this on page 19. Let me start by saying that in every relationship, the person that cares less about the relationship is in charge. In this case, your wife. Now listen and listen good. The more you try to suck up to her the more you irritate her. This is how to treat this kind of people, stop trying to impress her. Stop buying her gifts. Just buy the things you need at home for everyone. Remain a good husband to her but stop complaining about her social media but instead stop posting pictures of you and her online, just like she's doing. Check her profile relationship status, if it doesn't say married, don't complain about it, just change yours to single. Even if hers says "in a relationship", put yours to single.
Stop buying her any birthday present. Just say happy birthday to her and that should be all. Pay her with her own coin. Act aloof. I tell you, she'll start appreciating you more.

Pkingman:
HELP! My Wife Is Abnormal

Hello house, Pls I need mature advice on this issue.
I had to create this account as to remain anonymous.

I've been married for 2 years plus, with a son and expecting another.
The problem is that my wife is not proud of me, not proud to be associated with me and does not show excitement concerning me or gifts that I buy for her.. She is just too plain, too emotionless.

It started from our dating days.. We dated for a year plus.. She never wanted people to know about us. Always hiding me. As if the relationship was a secret. She never asked me for a pin.. I was happy she wasn't the demanding type.
When I proposed to her, I expected her to go over the moon, show excitement and flood social media with pictures.. But no way.
She was just mute and calm about it. She didn't even accept the idea of pre-wedding pictures when I suggested it.. Said it wasn't compulsory, she doesn't have time and energy for that..Few weeks later, she uploaded very beautiful studio pictures of herself alone in nice clothing, shoes, accessories on her facebook timeline without any caption about getting married or love.. Nothing about me at all.

Wedding came... She opted for a small quiet wedding.. Although we could afford a big wedding.. I was surprised.. So unfeminine... Women always prefer loud crowded weddings to show off.. She was supposed to be extremely excited as she was getting married esp at over 30 years when a woman is considered by societal standards to be hopeless and too old for marriage but no! She went about the whole festivities like nothing special was happening to her.

After the wedding, she didn't upload our wedding pictures on social media like normal women do. I then uploaded few pictures of us and tagged her. She immediately untagged herself and told me I could post whatever I wanted without necessarily tagging her.
Months after, she uploaded 2 pictures of herself alone in wedding gown and traditional attire.. None of mine till date.
She doesn't have any picture of me or us together on her facebook profile, she doesn't upload any picture of me or us on her whatsapp. It's always her picture alone or with our baby or her parents and siblings.
She hardly even takes pictures with me at social functions. She prefers personal pictures. Sometimes, she will even crop me out of her pictures and post only herself. She just keeps going on as if I don't exist. When I ask her why, she says she doesn't need to display me online to know she is married to me.
On my birthday, she didn't wish me HBD on any social media platform but she uploaded pictures of her 2 male colleagues at work(she is a medical doctor, a surgeon in training and planning to relocate abroad soon) and wished them HBD, wrote nice things about them.
Back home, all I got was a small get together, cake, drinks and gifts but I would have preferred to be acknowledged online as well. On her birthday, I dare not show her off or say anything on social media, she won't find it funny.. She prefers everything we do is private.
The part that breaks my heart is her attitude towards gifts.. When I met her, she was working, earning big, lived alone and had a car.I was happy she wasn't demanding or greedy... But I noticed if I buy her something, she just coldly thanks me and that's all. I am an Architect, working in a firm and also into private jobs.. I recently completed a project and was paid in millions.. I thought I should surprise my wife so I bought her a new car(an SUV).... She acted so plain.. Just said thank you and that was all.. Instead of displaying it all over social media platforms, write lovey dovey epistles about me and celebrate me like other women do.

By all standards, I am handsome, tall, dark, educated, nice guy, well to do, so why is she not proud to show me off?
Why does she not want me to show her off?

In all fairness, she has been a very nice partner so far but why this cold abnormal attitude ?This is not how women ought to behave.
I am getting tired already,i have discussed this with her but she doesn't wish to change.
What could be wrong with her?

You are wailing over nothing. She wants her marriage private and off the social media radar, as long as she treats you well you are good.

Like I said, YOU HAVE NO ISSUE

KevinDein:
Your ex has all these positive qualities but he was a turn off to you .

I swear to god you ladies are genuinely confused. Woe to men who take you guys serious.

The story may just be wash u know... I don't see any guy being in any form of relationship with her type of person... She's the type of person that would literally bring the roof down on any man... Personally, I am convinced her ex ended the relationship and not the other way round

You took the word outta my mouth bless you

mypains:
This is not a matter of boyfriend and girl or husband and wife ish.. It is about being treated for what he is worth. That woman respect a rag more than she respect or value him. She does not love him, she does not cherish him, she does not value , she does not respect him. It is glaring. And the best way to go about it is also give her same dose of what she gives him. It is simple. You reap what you sow... garbage in, garbage out. That is the rule to life.

izombie:
Op i saw this your post late so i am typing this on page 19. Let me start by saying that in every relationship, the person that cares less about the relationship is in charge. In this case, your wife. Now listen and listen good. The more you try to suck up to her the more you irritate her. This is how to treat this kind of people, stop trying to impress her. Stop buying her gifts. Just buy the things you need at home for everyone. Remain a good husband to her but stop complaining about her social media but instead stop posting pictures of you and her online, just like she's doing. Check her profile relationship status, if it doesn't say married, don't complain about it, just change yours to single. Even if hers says "in a relationship", put yours to single.
Stop buying her any birthday present. Just say happy birthday to her and that should be all. Pay her with her own coin. Act aloof. I tell you, she'll start appreciating you more.

This is the most sensible comment on this post so far. This is the only advice that would work magic. I hail you sir, you have what it takes to man a house. Your wife is lucky to have you

victorian:
Kiss ke! U want make guys wooing me in this forum get angry with me.
No kiss! Biko. I don't know who I will end up settling down with. Lemme not burn my bridges with my own hands.

Just my morning pic instead, I'm just feeling my looks this morning

Lol .

Is this your real face This excess make ups cum cropping made you look like a PS 2 Graphics.

My oga ..firstly am sorry for the situation you find yourself in..but I understand you wife..nothing is wrong with her....she definitely has had her heart broken in the past.. you know somepeople when they lose someone they love ..that person actually takes away a part of them..when this happens several times ..there is nothing left to give or emotions left to give..only a miracle or finding someone that has almost all the xtics the want and they can start to build again..its not always about looks and money..there some things people crave in a partner..This things are abstract...just don't pick a fight about her..she is a very special and strong woman..just keep patience ..aslo some people don't just like attention..i also don't like it...i try to do things on the low alot..and people miss understand me..

MrLankeeee:
Maybe she has spiritual husband.

Sharrap ya mouth, spiritual husband dey social media. Okurrr...

.

1StopRudeness:
U will not fvck the wrong man...say amen....

that's what I've been saying..this dude isn't asking for too much...nobody should have to endure living with a person that will crop out their image before posting it online and get angry when the dude tags her in his post....this right here is what I call witchcraft...she's just using the man for the main time...this is the kind of woman that poison husband....
People will be wondering how..cos they seem like a happy couple.. but she will get to a point she won't be able to live with him in the same house when she has found a dude she's crazy about

Amen my dear, may never fall in love with d wrong man too in Jesus name, amen. My dear, it sure is witchcraft, d lady has her conscience smeered with hot iron, thus can't empathize with emotions, I pity d op, he is in serious emotional abuse, d pains is as physical pain as d brain translate it to body pains, Astshma, pains in d tummy, ulcer, headaches, including Auto immuno disease.

newdawn2017:
Amen my dear, may never fall in love with d wrong man too in Jesus name, amen. My dear, it sure is witchcraft, d lady has her conscience smeered with hot iron, thus can't empathize with emotions, I pity d op, he is in serious emotional abuse, d pains is as physical pain as d brain translate it to body pains, Astshma, pains in d tummy, ulcer, headaches, including Auto immuno disease.

Lol....I'm laffing at auto immune disease......are u bioscientist?? Cos that's not a term that jumps out quite often on nairaland

Pkingman:
G

Oga, nothing is wrong with your wife, I have similar character and my wife has known me for it infact it caused rift and aguement with my mother in law, m wife and I because she felt I'm not proud of my wife or my marriage or I'm already married. My wife and I would just laugh at her mum. Infact yesterday was my wife's birthday, I did not say a word on Facebook while all her friends said things about her including her ex boyfriend.

I don't really see any big deal in her actions, she is just a private person who doesn't want monitoring spirit to descend on her family.

ityP:
This is the most sensible comment on this post so far. This is the only advice that would work magic. I hail you sir, you have what it takes to man a house. Your wife is lucky to have you

salute bro.

dfrost:
He's not in a cage but the woman is living in a mindset that she doesn't want a control freak in her life. Read the story again. That a woman who can have a mood swing within a twinkle of an eye.

[s]Kill him? Very possible. Infact near 99.99% possible.[/s]

If she doesn't want a control freak then she isn't a control freak herself. Only control freaks are liable to 70% killing abilities

What's your sex life with her like?
The answer to that will reveal a lot more.

Pkingman:
On her relationship with me at home: She is a perfect partner.. Very friendly and jovial, respects me.. Despite her busy schedule, she still takes out time to keep the home running.. Cooks and does chores, without bothering me to assist.. I hate domestic chores ..we have no maid because she said she doesn't need a maid. My mum and hers take turns to visit and assist.

On Intimacy... Good.. Top notch.. Na she dey rush me sef. We play, pray and laugh.. We even watch football matches together. We both support Arsenal. We hardly quarrel.

On social functions : She isn't the very outgoing type.. More of an indoor person but we attend dew occasions together and she acts just okay... Not cold, not overly excited.. But if we take pictures together, she will never upload that but will rather upload her personal picture.

On gifts : I don't know if it's because she has her own money and can easily afford anything I buy for her.. She has never asked me for anything, even cash I give her because I believe I have to. She only says thank you, no excitement at all. Is this how independent women act?
I complained about this to her parents and siblings.. They said that's how she is.. But I don't feel good about this.. It's so not feminine. As if I am not adding anything to her.

On changing my attitude towards her : She doesn't even want me to put her up on social media as well.. So if I stop that, it won't bother her.
I can't just start giving her cold attitude at home.. No reason for that. Besides, she may just enjoy the space and shun me.. That will be to my own detriment because she sure knows how to keep to herself and mind her business while I can't .

My concern is that my friends, relatives, colleagues show off their partners and celebrate them online. They take pictures and post.. They use their spouses on their DPs.If I don't do same, won't people think my marriage is having issues? And my wife being the reason for this just doesn't sit well with me. I am uncomfortable about it because normal women don't behave like this. They are proud of being married. They are usually crazy about their husbands and look for every opportunity to show them off,display gifts and all that... How many women will husband buy new car for And they won't show off online, at least on whatsapp? Even though she already has a car she bought before we got married, I thought this will be different, being a new car and a SUV...Haba!

@Op your wife's nature is what I even seek in a woman I left an ex then because of excess social media activities any small quarrel she's ranting on social media fb n WhatsApp n here u are having someone that's cool at home n don't like taking her private life to social media n u complaining haba! Me I love living the private life I don't see reasons why I have to post n entertain social media friends. Just accept your woman's nature... I know its complex because it seems the reasons for her actions is lack of love but it might not be true just try and balance the whole situation because u are married to her already..

Some ladies will put up their partners on dp n still be cheating I've met a lady that puts her man on dp n still flirts in chat n even fix a day to hook up so please don't let social media fake lovey dovey stuff decieve u


Concerning the other issues try and work it out with her but as for the social media show off I think no big deal is only people with low self esteem that wants approval from social media.

seunfly:
Oga, nothing is wrong with your wife, I have similar character and my wife has known me for it infact it caused rift and aguement with my mother in law, m wife and I because she felt I'm not proud of my wife or my marriage or I'm already married. My wife and I would just laugh at her mum. Infact yesterday was my wife's birthday, I did not say a word on Facebook while all her friends said things about her including her ex boyfriend.

I don't really see any big deal in her actions, she is just a private person who doesn't want monitoring spirit to descend on her family.

there is a difference bro, i am also not particularly a social media person but this here is a case of the wife taking the husband for granted. Like i said in my earlier post, the OP should just act the same way the wife acts.

Exactly what I've been looking for in a woman. Don't care about that social media ish. Our private life is gold. Abi don't she introduce you to people in real time as her husband ? Men, I want such woman , as long as she isn't cheating on me.

victorian:
Cause I needed someone who knows me and is spiritual but not emotionally attached to either him or me, to look at my scenario and advise me. I was so sad that day as I poured my thoughts to my Pastor. He saw how sad and confused I look, and quiet too. Im always a lively person but that moment of making a decision about him, my spirit was unsettled and very sad. My Pastor has been my childhood friend from primary school way back til date. We go a long way, on and off.

Okay. Understandable.

Pkingman:
Age: I am 38 ,she is 34.

Her past dating life.. I met her very single.. She told me her last relationship ended about 8 months earlier..because the guy smoked and drank a lot, although he was also a doctor.
I met her while my mum had a ruptured appendix and was rushed to the hospital where she worked. She was very nice and friendly to her, treated her like her own mother and not like a patient. Maybe my mum would have died that night if not for her.While other members of the team were dragging leg and nonchalant about the case, she pushed it and operated on my mum that night around midnight. We became close during that period..I was always visiting my mum is I wanted to see her... I was lonely and needed to settle down and well, being a doctor.. I had to take the bold step.. And she accepted.. No hassles.
While dating, I thought she didn't want to show me off in case the relationship didn't work out or perhaps, maturity.. Showing off a boyfriend when her mates were already married ?

She told me I suited her in many ways.. Educational background, family, finance, physical attributes, career, etc.

On cheating : I don't think she is cheating. I don't need to clone her phone or social media accounts. Her devices are unlocked and open to me at anytime,even while we were dating. She can travel and leave her phone with me.. No password, no restrictions. It's even me who passwords my phones and she doesn't bother, has never made any attempt to touch my phone..

My dear op, u simply can't be with an unhappy person who emits neg vibes. Life

1StopRudeness:
Lol....I'm laffing at auto immune disease......are u bioscientist?? Cos that's not a term that jumps out quite often on nairaland

I am a first-hand experienced of emotional & mental anuses & there out come. Self live is d only defense against it. Along with confidence.

newdawn2017:
Is d op asking for too much? Mbok d lady is ashamed to be associated with him, & doesn't ve love for him.

The husband wants a social media rabble rouser which she is not.