Closed case,

Thanks to NAN'S, many Nigerians including Senators, Reps and others were not even thinking of the masses. Oloyede making life hard for the parent that are yet to receive 30,000 minimum wages. N50 per SMS is strange even if u are sending international..... extorting the masses to buy urself FG recognition

please someone reply me... i need help

Send me the Ten thousand naira and i will go talk to your in laws and get them off your back for good.

Your BILS marriage is not your concern or problem. The only thing you owe them is your presence and gift, cash or in kind and what you can comfortably afford. Even if you married their sister/ daughter on credit , not enough reason to send you such ridiculous bills unless perharps you a leading a double life by giving them the impression that you are wealthy and willing to spend it on them and their needs.

Long story short, send them what you can afford.

First time I'm hearing of a younger sibling's partner being billed for the older one's wedding even as their daughter is not contributing financially to her family's upkeep. Some African families don't have shame finally...

give them what you can afford.
some people sha, why levy an in-law? forgetting that you will still buy aso ebi for your wife and kids

nosigho:
Nairalanders I need help, my brother in-law(my wife's Eldest bro, older than me too) is getting married and I was levied to pay a certain amount as support for his wedding because he had spent most of his funds for planning and the bride’s family had various outrageous demands he had to meet. The issues is I have several commitments like, I have my parents and siblings to take care of, coupled with the fact that my son will be starting school this month (which I postponed because of low funds) and my wife just graduated from the university(yet to go on NYSC and has no job, I foot all the bills in the house and all her expenses) I am about to tell my in-laws that I don’t have the said amount to give (I was levied #40,000) I want to give them (#10,000). And this will further inconvenience myself and my small nuclear family. What should I do? I need your advices

Send them the 10k and politely let them know that you wish to do more (even though i won't advise you to na) but due to family commitments here and there, you can't afford more than that 10k.

And let them know that infact its part of your kids' school fees which wasn't complete in the first place but you will have to refund and also complete before they resume.

Hope you get my point? I am also married and i don't take such bullshits!

The husband to be should sort his own problems and not enburden you!

...

Nothing to worry about. Send them what you have, the earlier the better, so that they can go find the balance of 30k, they maybe truly in need of financial help. People get married once in life, and need support as much as possible.

nosigho:
thank you guys, i got all the info i need from your advice... i really appreciate.. i will send them the 10k, am even thinking of making it 5k sef, and that idea of saying that its part of my sons school fees is so spot on......gracias

if you can afford to, make it 10k. don't let them use it as an issue in future

What a shameless and dysfunctional family. A family that sends bills to in-laws has no shame.

You married from an extremely shameless family. As far as I'm concerned, you owe them nothing but goodwill. Whatever you give at any point in time must be based on your discretion, conviction and convenience.

There is no better time to make your position known than NOW.

I advise you send them half of what you were billed that's 20k don't think is that much, afterall it's your in-law u never can tell if you will need his help 2mrw.

Marriage is deep o and life is full of uncertainties.

LilMissFavvy:
Nothing to worry about. Send them what you have, the earlier the better, so that they can go find the balance of 30k, they maybe truly in need of financial help. People get married once in life, and need support as much as possible.

People get married once in a lifetime but the stupid decision they make about that once in a lifetime event can put them in a state of perpetual poverty forever. Btw, there's everything to worry about over a family that bills a BIL because of their brother's marriage (an older man fa!).

What a shame.

If the man can't afford his bills, he should stay single or get married from a different family with lower bills.

Shameless people everywhere.

egojeny1:
I advise you send them half of what you were billed that's 20k don't think is that much, afterall it's your in-law u never can tell if you will need his help 2mrw.

Marriage is deep o and life is full of uncertainties.

you're wicked.

Acidosis:


you're wicked.

How i'm i wicked? I am not supporting the family that billed him what i'm saying is from his innermost mind let him give them 20k if he can afford it afterall it's just an advice.

I am a married woman so i know what's up with this kind of things. If he can't afford 20k then let him give them what he can afford but let it be reasonable at least.

This is just an advice @acidosis is that why u termed me wicked? Nawa o!

mankettle:

if you can afford to, make it 10k. don't let them use it as an issue in future

i am thinking of giving them 5k

nosigho:



i am thinking of giving them 5k

5k is too small he's your in-law let's be frank pls.

Old case

nosigho:
but on the lighter note am i supposed to give them anything? this same family the eldest sister didn't contribute a dime to her younger sister's wedding(my wife) the eldest brother i heard brought one bag of rice...(which i didn't see) i fully paid for all the food and drinks.... i only heard this from my mother in-law that he bought additional half bag, later i heard it was one full bag...the size of bag keeps changing... it was the same traditional marriage of mine that i didn't eat the rice, or even had any to take home. even after there was additional one bag...... , anyway its not like i want to revenge, but i have a gut felling that i am not supposed to contribute, its only burial ceremonies that people contribute to, pls correct me if i am wrong.

Even if it's burial or ritual, it's still irresponsible to send bills to in-laws. As per burial, only direct and immediate children of the deceased get the bills. Anything the grandchildren, in-laws or friends decide to do is nothing but a mere privilege.

egojeny1:

How i'm i wicked? I am not supporting the family that billed him what i'm saying is from his innermost mind let him give them 20k if he can afford it afterall it's just an advice.

I am a married woman so i know what's up with this kind of things. If he can't afford 20k then let him give them what he can afford but let it be reasonable at least.

This is just an advice @acidosis is that why u termed me wicked? Nawa o!

I'm sorry

This is really bad, haba!
Let him sow his clothes according to his materials.
I believe you have been the one taking care of their daughters schooling expenses before she graduated? You haven't been bugging them with anything.
Let them work with the cash they have at hand,wedding is just a day o, they can cut down on some things. they shouldn't involve you in this bullshit.

They should have just told you, to assist in whatever way you can.
If it's burial that one is understandable.

Send what you can afford and tell them that's all you have,you have more pressing issues to handle.

Acidosis:


I'm sorry

No wahala

That BIL of yours is shameless, must you support, let him carry his cross. You can only give what you can on your own very accord.

nosigho:
but on the lighter note am i supposed to give them anything? this same family the eldest sister didn't contribute a dime to her younger sister's wedding(my wife) the eldest brother i heard brought one bag of rice...(which i didn't see) i fully paid for all the food and drinks.... i only heard this from my mother in-law that he bought additional half bag, later i heard it was one full bag...the size of bag keeps changing... it was the same traditional marriage of mine that i didn't eat the rice, or even had any to take home. even after there was additional one bag...... , anyway its not like i want to revenge, but i have a gut felling that i am not supposed to contribute, its only burial ceremonies that people contribute to, pls correct me if i am wrong.

just overlook those things...some families are funny..give them what you can afford..5k/10k......if they complain...na their problem..we all have our problems Sir

instead of people to plan how their marriages will be successful... they emphasize on wedding on one day.... ur brother in law should cut their cloth according to their size...who wedding help?

nosigho:
but on the lighter note am i supposed to give them anything? this same family the eldest sister didn't contribute a dime to her younger sister's wedding(my wife) the eldest brother i heard brought one bag of rice...(which i didn't see) i fully paid for all the food and drinks.... i only heard this from my mother in-law that he bought additional half bag, later i heard it was one full bag...the size of bag keeps changing... it was the same traditional marriage of mine that i didn't eat the rice, or even had any to take home. even after there was additional one bag...... , anyway its not like i want to revenge, but i have a gut felling that i am not supposed to contribute, its only burial ceremonies that people contribute to, pls correct me if i am wrong.

this family na I never chop.. so shameless. after not contributing to his wedding, probably giving him tough time u now want him to partake in yours.
in fact 10k is too much, buy better cloth, fast and go and eat. you have fully paid your dues

...

Why do we support absurdities in Africa? He's billed for the wedding, get ready to be billed for naming, child dedication..... Some women advising him to pay as much as half are funny to me. Coming into a family doesn't mean I should be taken advantage of. The groom to be could have pleaded for support through the wife and not DEMAND as if they're doing him a favour because he married their daughter that brings nothing to the table currently. I'll be a wife tomorrow but should my parents try that with my hubby.... I hope this will not be passed to generations and we term it normal in the name of one family. The groom to be should cut his coat according to his CLOTHE as na so e dey take start. I'm struggling not to be tribalistic here but I can't help it as I know the family would likely be from the south **** likewise the supporters club.

Your try. Well done.

nosigho:
i finally transferd them the 10k.... i guess that will close the case.

nosigho:
Nairalanders I need help, my brother in-law(my wife's Eldest bro, older than me too) is getting married and I was levied to pay a certain amount as support for his wedding because he had spent most of his funds for planning and the bride’s family had various outrageous demands he had to meet. The issues is I have several commitments like, I have my parents and siblings to take care of, coupled with the fact that my son will be starting school this month (which I postponed because of low funds) and my wife just graduated from the university(yet to go on NYSC and has no job, I foot all the bills in the house and all her expenses) I am about to tell my in-laws that I don’t have the said amount to give (I was levied #40,000) I want to give them (#10,000). And this will further inconvenience myself and my small nuclear family. What should I do? I need your advices

I am positive they did not bill you per se.

They billed your wife.

So send her back to them.

She knows your situation, let her tell them nothing dey.
Don't give her a dime

Don't tell them directly.

Respect yourself, even if they have no shame.

After all is said and done... what will the couple eat.. I mean after spending money that they don't have on weddings or wedding?

I can't comprehend certain behaviour that human exhibits in this world sometimes...