darealbabe:
Please take it easy on yourself bro.
Don't focus on your failure, focus on the fact that you can do better...
Though meeting a therapist is not a bad idea, the truth is, if you are intentional about working on your anger, it is not compulsory to meet a therapist..
There are many self help videos and articles on google that will really help you. Just find out what works for you.

How about you learn to really communicate with your wife? Don't hold anything back, and refuse to judge or belittle her when she tells you exactly what's on her mind.
You could talk out your anger issues with your wife, who knows, she could be a source of help too.

It is not enough to regret over something you didn't get right, pay the price to be a better human being, a better husband.

Learn to talk to yourself and take charge of your life.
You can be better!!!

the only lady here with who said something right n try 2 help..

the other's are mentally unbalance like the o.p..
pretending as if they've not receive worst frm their partner

Hello everyone, please I'm new on this platform, i need help on how to post here.

OneCorner:
What’s there in beating a woman
They are subordinate to us and it’s our right to flog them whenever they prove stubborn.
Some women will even have guts to deny their husband sex. Husband oo dat pay her bride price.
Women like dat need flogging, dey need to be tamed

Mad phoo

OP I was in your situation just the way you narrated it..... From being drop out to being jobless and flair temper but it all boils down to frustration of being broke and your threshold for tonguelashes from a verbally abusive gf.

In my case I've been in relationships and such never happened until I started dating this particular girl who can be extremely abusive and would never ever accept her wrongdoing even when you catch her spot on.

Now this is what happened...... At some point after 2 fights I told myself this isn't me, I'm a gentleman that won't hit a girl but here I find myself doing it. First step I took was I reported myself to her parents and owned up I was totally wrong, they cautioned me and I promised it won't happen again.

Relationship continued and she started messing about again, getting me provoked but guess what? I seriously restrained myself even as she provoked and abused me verbally.

On another occasion she messed up again and another argument stated, to my surprise she had to hit me first (punched my eye) and I retaliated which was my very last time cos I figured out her trick.

She will mess up and once I find out she will pick up loud arguments and insults just to provoke me to hit her........ She just wants me to do it so at the end we will be talking about me hitting her not her initial mess. She just want to balance her mess up with my hitting her...... In fact I was being manipulated and when I mean hitting her it was never more than slapping her.

I saw her manipulation and the hitting completely ended.

Her last drama was sending a nude to her ex which I found out. Another argument stated and I went into my car just to stay away only for her to pick a stone and left about 6 dents on my car. In everything I didn't step out of the car and never had to hit her.

Never hit a woman and you women must stop the tonguelashes you dish out to men. I always hear be a gentleman but would never hear be a gentlewoman.

In all a man must control himself when provoked, never hit her as long as she isn't physically hostile but defend yourself when necessary cos some women women can take you out if you start that gentleman bullshit when she's physically abusive.

OneCorner:
What’s there in beating a woman
They are subordinate to us and it’s our right to flog them whenever they prove stubborn.
Some women will even have guts to deny their husband sex. Husband oo dat pay her bride price.
Women like dat need flogging, dey need to be tamed

I SUPPORT YOU 100%

First of, you showed a positive side by admitting that what you did was wrong, it shows remorse but doing it again and then showing remorse afterwards won't make any sense.

I had no job for two years after marriage yet, I never hit my wife!

I had every opportunity to do so but I told myself that anger will not rule over me.

Hitting your spouse just because you can is not manly, it makes you small.

Remember those days when we always want to show our younger sister who's boss? Days like that are long gone, we were boys then, now we are men, so act like one.

It's even worse ending your life because of your failure, pick yourself up, take charge and move on.

I still feel you'll do it again once you are forgiven cos your immediate reaction to what you did is the exact MO of wife beaters.

Watch it Bro!

BuBuB:
I am a woman beater (twice), I have failed, I've got anger management issues, I am jobless, I am a drop out, I hit my woman on her 24th Birthday at about past 10 p.m. I failed her, I broke her, I love her, she didn't deserve it, no woman does, I let my anger get the better side of me, I am hurt, I can't forgive myself, I've got suicidal thoughts, I need help, a psychologist, I need a mentor.

Tonight, I am broken, I have lost it. This isn't who I am.

Mods please help move to front-page.

You are just crying wolf here.
What about tomorrow morning. Will you still be broken?

Mods moving your topic to front page isn't the solution. NL is not where to find solution if you are honest.
Stop seeking attention and seek help if indeed you want help.
There are many therapist and psychologist on IG offering free consultation. Use your data to book appointments and seek actual help.

You haven't married her, you have beaten her twice already!!!

An idle mind is a devil workshop. Channel your mind toward succeeding. Begins to see strength in your weakness, opportunities in your idleness. Step out of regrets, frustration, look inwardly what you can do positively better. Be happy with yourself so that you can think straight and embrace your wife in love so that you can put heads together for better ideas. (Two good heads are better than one). If you keep doing what you've been doing, you're going to keep getting what you've been getting. To get something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've never done

BuBuB:
I am a woman beater (twice), I have failed, I've got anger management issues, I am jobless, I am a drop out, I hit my woman on her 24th Birthday at about past 10 p.m. I failed her, I broke her, I love her, she didn't deserve it, no woman does, I let my anger get the better side of me, I am hurt, I can't forgive myself, I've got suicidal thoughts, I need help, a psychologist, I need a mentor.

Tonight, I am broken, I have lost it. This isn't who I am.

Mods please help move to front-page.

. Let's hit the nail by the head. You are not hitting her because you are broke, you are hitting her because you feel that you are stronger and she is weak. Think about it, if she is a man strong as you are or stronger than you, would you try to hit her? Same thing we do to our kids because they can't hit us back.
Admitting to your problem is a step to the solution.
Go and tell her how terrible you feel, how sorry you are.
Finally, learn how to walk away...close your mouth when she starts running her mouth. Anger is like money, you don't go around spending money on everything you see that look good. Same way you don't go around spending your anger on people or your wife just because they said something you don't like. rather you manage it well and only use it when when when it is they last option.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

BuBuB:
I am a woman beater (twice), I have failed, I've got anger management issues, I am jobless, I am a drop out, I hit my woman on her 24th Birthday at about past 10 p.m. I failed her, I broke her, I love her, she didn't deserve it, no woman does, I let my anger get the better side of me, I am hurt, I can't forgive myself, I've got suicidal thoughts, I need help, a psychologist, I need a mentor.

Tonight, I am broken, I have lost it. This isn't who I am.

Mods please help move to front-page.

I'll be truthful to you and if you're wise enough you'll learn.

I want you to know that I've no sympathy for you because you physically abused a women. You've NO right whatsoever to beat a woman, whether she's your girlfriend or wife or a stranger! Only weak st*upid men do that!

You claimed you loved her. Nope! You don't! If you really loved her, you won't intentionally hurt her, not only once but twice! You're probably obsessed with her and I believe you're not the right man for her. Obsession is a dangerous thing in a relationship!

I'm glad you recognzed your mistake and remorseful. You better apologize to her and move on with your life. I'm not sure there are anger management specialists in Nigeria, but if you know anyone that can help, go for it.

Never beat a woman again!

OneCorner:
What’s there in beating a woman
They are subordinate to us and it’s our right to flog them whenever they prove stubborn.
Some women will even have guts to deny their husband sex. Husband oo dat pay her bride price.
Women like that need flogging, dey need to be tamed

the only explanation to your contribution is that you are immune to the way your father beats your mother to the point that it doesn't mean anything to you again.

It takes determination and vow.

Learn to leave the scene on time.

Graduateacher:




I know your type, you beat, afterwards you cry a river and apologize then beat again. See ehn, it's deliverance you need, if you kill that lady, you will never know peace in your lifetime

He needs a job,not deliverance!!!

DedeNkem:


I'll be truthful to you and if you're wise enough you'll learn.

I want you to know that I've no sympathy for you because you physically abused a women. You've NO right whatsoever to beat a woman, whether she's your girlfriend or wife or a stranger! Only weak st*upid men do that!

You claimed you loved her. Nope! You don't! If you really loved her, you won't intentionally hurt her, not only once but twice! You're probably obsessed with her and I believe you're not the right man for her. Obsession is a dangerous thing in a relationship!

I'm glad you recognzed your mistake and remorseful. You better apologize to her and move on with your life. I'm not sure there are anger management specialists in Nigeria, but if you know anyone that can help, go for it.

Never beat a woman again!

Can u please get him a job
That's what he needs cuz his joblessness was what made the wife disrespect him...that's the root cause.

BiafranBushBoy:
There is nothing worse than financial frustration. All I see here is a Woman, claiming to be a Man Wife Beater.

In your write-up, you want to sound pathetic, pitied, garner sympathy; but you forgot that in this life, nobody cares about you.

You are jobless, a drop-out, frustrated, etc. (Nice qualities).

But let me tell you what is frustration;

Frustration is when you wake up and realize that you are old, frail, weak, with lots of regrets about things you should have done that you didn't do.

A wise man once said; "know your weaknesses and compensate them with your strengths"

You have your hands, you type good English, you are able-bodied, you can even beat a woman - which shows that every part of your body is functional.

What have you done with them?

Life will become a better place for you if you apologize to her and channel your anger towards becoming a millionaire by December.

Don't ask me how, just find a way.

If your thoughts are focused on how to make money - I mean plenty of them, you won't even have time for your wife; talk less of beating her.

I don't really like helping people, but send me a PM - let's talk!

Well said

BuBuB:
I am a woman beater (twice), I have failed, I've got anger management issues, I am jobless, I am a drop out, I hit my woman on her 24th Birthday at about past 10 p.m. I failed her, I broke her, I love her, she didn't deserve it, no woman does, I let my anger get the better side of me, I am hurt, I can't forgive myself, I've got suicidal thoughts, I need help, a psychologist, I need a mentor.

Tonight, I am broken, I have lost it. This isn't who I am.

Mods please help move to front-page.

try to snap out of the over-reaction first. if you dont see it as weighty as you treat it now, you'll be better

BuBuB:
I am a woman beater (twice), I have failed, I've got anger management issues, I am jobless, I am a drop out, I hit my woman on her 24th Birthday at about past 10 p.m. I failed her, I broke her, I love her, she didn't deserve it, no woman does, I let my anger get the better side of me, I am hurt, I can't forgive myself, I've got suicidal thoughts, I need help, a psychologist, I need a mentor.

Tonight, I am broken, I have lost it. This isn't who I am.

Mods please help move to front-page.

Transfered aggression...

Calm down, pick up d pieces of ur life one at a time and fix it.

Offpoint1:
You're not a woman beater bro, women beaters have no remorse like you did. You're just broke and frustrated.

When responsibilities keeps piling up like my ex-GF unwashed pants, and your account balance keeps dropping down like my landlord daughter's IQ, London Bridge or the Biblical Wall of Jericho... then frustration sets in and the first symptom is ANGER and the closest and weakest available person at that moment you'll definitely vent it on.

That suicidal thought is a wonderful decision, but not the solution.

Fix your shít together before ever considering marriage as a guy. Don't be deceived by those illusions call love, poverty is an antidote to love. Once that P guy sets in, every dose of love you've taken would be cleared out instanta.

I believe before you might have raised your hands on her, she must have said something that offended you. Understand it's not easy for her too, she's enduring and at the same time going through the same thing you're going through. Women are special beings, they weren't meant to suffer. If you're not meeting up her needs, she's frustrated just as you are... little things might pissed her off and same applicable to you.

My advice to you is... both of you should go on a long time break, while you fix your life financially, emotionally and mentally.

If poverty can make one querelled his creator, then I can't blame one for hitting his partner.

There is a day I took a shovel and headed straight to my dad grave and nearly dug him out, just to asked him why he died broke.

LAS LAS GOD GO PUNISH POVERTY.

The guy after the guy below me is a known clown here and I belong to his team too, but for unknown reasons we're saying something nice to op... Op you'll make it.

Guy please There is a day I took a shovel and headed straight to my dad grave and nearly dug him out, just to asked him why he died broke.

No matter how apologetic these woman bashers, no matter how guilty and remorseful they feel...

It is going to happen again

use your head man next time she misbehaves, keep calm and wait till she's in need of sex , only then can you unleash rage with your di*k, then you pound her to submission, it's a trick that makes women kneel to u in the morning and greet you sir, never beat a woman, theres a part of a woman's brain that's empty it only records and keeps beatings and pains and they don't forget it, it's God's way of controlling we men against abusing a woman, the consequences are dangerous when a woman is set on revenge, never give her the opportunity to set her path on revenge, go back and beg her if it means you hurting your self please do and stay married, without her you are irresponsible and not a complete man, no matter how bad, and start something in your life even if it's helping her wash dishes in her restaurant just contribute to the success of the family, stay blessed

A lot of hypocrites here. They all want to criticize and crucify the guy instead of trying to help him out . Most of them do worse things to their wife or girlfriends out home. Help him if you can life is not easy and nobody is perfect. We react to issues differently all we need sometimes is just somebody to talk to. Somebody to advise us on what to do and what not to do. I would have said you should see a psychologist but don't really know if they exist here in Nigeria and if also they are not hypocrites and they do their job well because a lot of people need them in this Nigeria. Frustrations is everywhere and people just need someone to talk to, someone who will not judge them.

I will advise you focus your energy on making money and whenever you're in an argument with her just walk away. It's the best thing to do because women will always provoke you more and more until you vent your anger on them. Try and get a job , try and get busy, always be patient with her because she's also going through a lot buy staying with you broke..
#peace

Offpoint1:
You're not a woman beater bro, women beaters have no remorse like you did. You're just broke and frustrated.

When responsibilities keeps piling up like my ex-GF unwashed pants, and your account balance keeps dropping down like my landlord daughter's IQ, London Bridge or the Biblical Wall of Jericho... then frustration sets in and the first symptom is ANGER and the closest and weakest available person at that moment you'll definitely vent it on.

That suicidal thought is a wonderful decision, but not the solution.

Fix your shít together before ever considering marriage as a guy. Don't be deceived by those illusions call love, poverty is an antidote to love. Once that P guy sets in, every dose of love you've taken would be cleared out instanta.

I believe before you might have raised your hands on her, she must have said something that offended you. Understand it's not easy for her too, she's enduring and at the same time going through the same thing you're going through. Women are special beings, they weren't meant to suffer. If you're not meeting up her needs, she's frustrated just as you are... little things might pissed her off and same applicable to you.

My advice to you is... both of you should go on a long time break, while you fix your life financially, emotionally and mentally.

If poverty can make one querelled his creator, then I can't blame one for hitting his partner.

There is a day I took a shovel and headed straight to my dad grave and nearly dug him out, just to asked him why he died broke.

LAS LAS GOD GO PUNISH POVERTY.

The guy after the guy below me is a known clown here and I belong to his team too, but for unknown reasons we're saying something nice to op... Op you'll make it.

You nor talk Offpoint for this one. God bless you �

All is well. Please pray about it as anger is a bad spirit. Read Galatians 5vs1-26, concentrate on verse 19 through 26. Jesus is the answer he has an antidote to every problem confronting the man. God bless you. Try to eat and pray with your wife always.

Am sure she was the one shouting help when u were beating her, nw its ur turn to shout help.. Uncle karma is never asleep

I shudder at the responses of some folks here. Why add salt to injury. If you have got no meaningful thing to contribute,don't escalate it. This is not Nigerian at all...

Now OP, all you need to do is, govern your emotions and take responsibility for your life. Yes, you've had a horrible past and you ain't letting go.

You could aquire a skill in a short period of time that would get you financially stable. In the process, you get busy with your life and prepare for opportunities on your path. Be positive. Negativity would plunge you deeper into depression.

Finally, with God, nothing is impossible. You don't want to neglect prayer.

Get up and fulfil purpose!

BuBuB:
I am a woman beater (twice), I have failed, I've got anger management issues, I am jobless, I am a drop out, I hit my woman on her 24th Birthday at about past 10 p.m. I failed her, I broke her, I love her, she didn't deserve it, no woman does, I let my anger get the better side of me, I am hurt, I can't forgive myself, I've got suicidal thoughts, I need help, a psychologist, I need a mentor.

Tonight, I am broken, I have lost it. This isn't who I am.

Mods please help move to front-page.

The 1st step in healing is that you have realized your mistakes.

Try not to talk or act when angry. Even if she talks 10 words per second. Women are wired that way. Just calm down.

luminouz:

Can u please get him a job
That's what he needs cuz his joblessness was what made the wife disrespect him...that's the root cause.

Joblessness is NOT a reason to beat a woman, no matter how his spouse disrespected him because of it or any other stuff.

For his wife to disrespect him, there may be a cause. Maybe he wasn't doing much to get a job or she found him a job but he rejected it or he caused his sack from his previous job (if he had one before). It could be anything a wife doesn't like!

NO reason to beat a woman! None!

Eyaah the man is remorseful.



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Pray that the Lord gives you the Grace to overcome the anger....

If I was your wife, I would get you arrested and you will learn your lesson in the police cell. Then, I would separate from you so you can reset your brain. If no kids is involved, I would leave you for good. Someone like you cannot be fixed, it may have something to do with your background, you might have come from an abusive background.

motic2:


Well said

Thanks.

How's life at your end?