₦airaland Forum

OK...this morning I was jejely sleeping on my own o...
one of my neighbours and his girfriend started fighting as USUAL...and as usual I minded my business, but the type of blows(punch or whatever) and slap I was hearing from their apartment nearly gave me a heart attack...My Church mind was like (if u no go separate da fight and person die there...dia blood de ur head o), as the good guy i started a mission that nearly sent me to go and join my ancestors rather early.

I came out of my apartment ...dashed around to see if I can get a back up but didn't see anyone...(everybody seem to be minding their business as usual) ...
So I said well...(all die na die) I knocked the first time no one opened , I tried to knock the second time ,but as I was about hitting the door I noticed it wasn't locked, so quietly opened it,lo and behold the guy was pinning his half naked girlfriend on the ground with both of them holding knives with one hand and using the other hand to prevent each other's knives from stabbing them....like hollywood movie,immediately they saw me,girl tried to escape through the door and ran straight towards me still holding a kitchen knife in her hands,with the speed of light the guy ran after her so as to stop her from escaping ....it was at this exact moment that mumuness(or maybe my village people)decided to remember me. As they were scampering towards me with knives, instead of me to close the door and run away...I opened the door and ran inside....

He overtook the girl and locked the door ,that was when i noticed i was standing inbetween two mad knife wielding couple...they started starring at me(I was like oh my God!! ...I quickly started recalling incidents of couple killing and hiding dead bodies of peacemakers that came to separate fight) I had two options shout for epp(Lol) or turn to Jet Li and defend myself..but on a second thought I ruled out shouting for epp( as girl wey de chop beating since morning no shout,na me go come shout? and perhaps shout what exactly ?that I'm being raped or beaten when neither of those have even started ( atleast for the moment).

I quickly scanned the apartment to see if i can find an escape,but everywhere is under lock and key, So I started begging them in a loud voice(so as to alert other tenants before these guys will kill an innocent man)to pls calm down and drop their knives first...the moment that nearly chilled the blood in my veins is when the guy uttered the first word to me and asked me "what are you doing in my apartment?are you stupid? oh you came inside so that you can get the full gist and gossip about us abi, you even saw my girl naked!!....I just froze there staring at him like zombie, i thought of grabbing the knife from him but the worst part is that he's huge and muscular,even without the knife ,he can kill me with blows, its not my fault thou(I'm one of those people that can eat full pot of food but it won't show in our body).

So he tried grabbing the girl who was now standing behind me after much struggling he managed to take away the kitchen knife from her,by then the remainder of her nightgown was torn which left her with only white pant and no bra( yes I saw the colour, I tried not to look but with dangerous weapons around me I opened my eyes wide o)....instead of a naked girl to go and grab clothes and wear,she grabbed me from behind so I can shield her from him. that was when I knew what the problem was (jealousy and obsession) he was obsessed with her ,he can't stand other guys looking at her not to talk of toasting and worst of all seeing her naked...with bloodshot eyes he was pointing at me(us) and started stammering before I knew it he slumped on his knees and burst into tears o(I ve never been this scared and confused in my life ) he was cying like someone that was beaten by SARS , I was just busy apologizing for what I don't know ,pleading for my Life,but what shocked me was that the girl that was hitherto hiding behind me, went and tied towel and knelt beside him,hugged him and was wiping his tears, then stylishly managed to free the key and the knives from him took the knives to their kitchen and passed me the key to open the door and leave.....I rushed to their door and was trying the keys, none of them was opening the door(in my mind I was like" its like my village pople re not done with me yet o) . I was muttering silent prayers telling God to help me, and for him not to change his mind and rush me. finally the door opened and i quickly ran out of the compound forgetting I'm even living there too.

My brothers and Sisters....imagine if these guys mistakenly stabbed and killed me, is this not how they will reconcile and dispose my bodyPlease be careful with the kind of issues you involve your self in .

So funny, continue.

Hahahaha...

God for even laugh when e see you...na better konk e for dash you for head.

Why would you interrupt their mating dance? Very rude of you I must say.

LMAO!

Maybe they are trying Bdsm and you went to interrupt

they weren't fighting they were just performing the knife seduction Technic

You dey crazee fa!

Glory be to God sha for you are alive to tell the story. Which kind love the two idiaats they practice biko? Ndi Nzuzu!

This thread is what I needed dis morning, :

You better continue this story o, laugh won kill me

LilMissFavvy:
So funny, continue.

I've ....its quite long sha...trying to make it shorter.

sisisioge:


You dey crazee fa!

Glory be to God sha for you are alive to tell the story. Which kind love the two idiaats they practice biko? Ndi Nzuzu!

sisisioge:


You dey crazee fa!

Glory be to God sha for you are alive to tell the story. Which kind love the two idiaats they practice biko? Ndi Nzuzu!

;

Alll my neighbours hates me because no matter d issue (fight or quarell or an arguement) on ground, i ll never come out of my apartment. I dnt put mouth in compound meetings or social gathering, i dnt charge in their flats, i dnt eat anybody's food.

D only thing i do.is to greet dem in the morning wen going to my business and wen i come bak. Most of dem dnt respond to the greetings but who cares. Op, stay off other pples business.


We re two guys in the compound.

Lol... I no kukuma get strength, so I always dey mind my business

Hahaha...

4d girl 2b able 2fight her muscular bf while u dey see d same neighbor as Brock Lesnar. This mst b fiction abeg.

This is damn funny. Op, abeg continue.

I was the girl

Jealousy and obsession are 2 avoidable evils. Better thank God your not hurt.

Mind your business they will not hear...
U can't be giving us this gist from the mortuary...so we thank God that u are still alive.

Abeg Abeg Abeg better come and finish your story

Whitewolf8:
OK...this morning I was jejely sleeping on my own o...
one of my neighbours and his girfriend started fighting as USUAL...and as usual I minded my business, but the type of blows(punch or whatever) and slap I was hearing from their apartment nearly gave me a heart attack...My Church mind was like (if u no go separate da fight and person die there...dia blood de ur head o), as the good guy i started a mission that nearly sent me to go and join my ancestors rather early.

I came out of my apartment ...dashed around to see if I can get a back up but didn't see anyone...(everybody seem to be minding their business as usual) ...
So I said well...(all die na die) I knocked the first time no one opened , I tried to knock the second time ,but as I was about hitting the door I noticed it wasn't locked, so quietly opened it,lo and behold the guy was pinning his half naked girlfriend on the ground with both of them holding knives with one hand and using the other hand to prevent each other's knives from stabbing them....like hollywood movie,immediately they saw me,girl tried to escape through the door and ran straight towards me still holding a kitchen knife in her hands,with the speed of light the guy ran after her so as to stop her from escaping ....it was at this exact moment that mumuness(or maybe my village people)decided to remember me. As they were scampering towards me with knives, instead of me to close the door and run away...I opened the door and ran inside....

He overtook the girl and locked the door ,that was when i noticed i was standing inbetween two mad knife wielding couple...they started starring at me(I was like oh my God!! ...I quickly started recalling incidents of couple killing and hiding dead bodies of peacemakers that came to separate fight) I had two options shout for epp(Lol) or turn to Jet Li and defend myself..but on a second thought I ruled out shouting for epp( as girl wey de chop beating since morning no shout,na me go come shout? and perhaps shout what exactly ?that I'm being raped or beaten when neither of those have even started ( atleast for the moment).

I quickly scanned the apartment to see if i can find an escape,but everywhere is under lock and key, So I started begging them in a loud voice(so as to alert other tenants before these guys will kill an innocent man)to pls calm down and drop their knives first...the moment that nearly chilled the blood in my veins is when the guy uttered the first word to me and asked me "what are you doing in my apartment?are you stupid? oh you came inside so that you can get the full gist and gossip about us abi, you even saw my girl naked!!....I just froze there staring at him like zombie, i thought of grabbing the knife from him but the worst part is that he's huge and muscular,even without the knife ,he can kill me with blows, its not my fault thou(I'm one of those people that can eat full pot of food but it won't show in our body).

So he tried grabbing the girl who was now standing behind me after much struggling he managed to take away the kitchen knife from her,by then the remainder of her nightgown was torn which left her with only white pant and no bra( yes I saw the colour, I tried not to look but with dangerous weapons around me I opened my eyes wide o)....instead of a naked girl to go and grab clothes and wear,she grabbed me from behind so I can shield her from him. that was when I knew what the problem was (jealousy and obsession) he was obsessed with her ,he can't stand other guys looking at her not to talk of toasting and worst of all seeing her naked...with bloodshot eyes he was pointing at me(us) and started stammering before I knew it he burst into tears o(I ve never been this scared and confused in my life )........to be continued.

Thanks for the laughter op

I wan die for laugh, comman finish this story oh.

chinchonglee:
Alll my neighbours hates me because no matter d issue (fight or quarell or an arguement) on ground, i ll never come out of my apartment. I dnt put mouth in compound meetings or social gathering, i dnt charge in their flats, i dnt eat anybody's food.

D only thing i do.is to greet dem in the morning wen going to my business and wen i come bak. Most of dem dnt respond to the greetings but who cares. Op, stay off other pples business.


We re two guys in the compound.

I learnt my lessons today

kingkoboko:
Hahaha...

4d girl 2b able 2fight her muscular bf while u dey see d same neighbor as Brock Lesnar. This mst b fiction abeg.

its no fiction o....it happened to me yesterday morning

IfoyinTEDO:
I was the girl

Abeg o Lol

Yewandequeen:
Jealousy and obsession are 2 avoidable evils. Better thank God your not hurt.

I'm telling you...I pray never to be involve in it

gonagona:
Abeg Abeg Abeg better come and finish your story

I haf finished it....

jesse8048:
I wan die for laugh, comman finish this story oh.

just concluded it

This story cracked me up like mad.

na BDSM couples dem be.nobody ask u to chuk head for dia matter nau