daddytime:
Your whining, lack of balls and enough mouth to banter with your wife is the reason why she and her mother have got zero respect for you, my brother.

If you could, just ignore them and forget the so-called wife with her mom.

Na dem go begin beg you say Eleru, wa gberu re o

Fact!


Step up your hustle but, you're looking for a wife who doesn't want to stay?

you sure ur wife is faithful?

Lexusgs430:

Are you more spiritual than Oyakhilome?......

Should Oyakhilome be his standard?......

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

I feel for you.

I believe you to an extent that a lot of the fault is from her by allowing her selfish mother dictate her life.

Divorce would seem practical but may not be wise (Read Proverbs 14:12, 16:25) .

I'm a Jehovah's Witness and our marriages are guided by scriptural laws. .

Our spouses are discouraged from living apart for a long period of time because it can lead to adultery and other problems. Were such to occur, the husband won't have any privilege in the congregation.

I really can't advise you because you may live by other standards.

YOU HAVE TO DATE HER AGAIN. if you are truelly inlove with her and dont actually want a divorce. Stop sending your mum, get your act together. Go for interviews and when next you visit her mums house buy something little but nice for her. Get her to come outside the house and chat over a drink or whatever while you tell her about the efforts you are making and the interviews you have attended. Let her see the guy with a vision which she fell inlove with. DO NOT GO TO ANY PRAYER HOUSE OR MAN OF GOD. Pray about the effort you are about to make in your quiet time with God, then proceed. Good luck

To the young ones,

Ignoring the red flags all because of love is a one way ticket to where Op is.

Forewarned is Forearmed

This is a Generation of massive emasculation...Men are weakened on a daily basis.
This is a serious advice to single guys, I mean bachelors: IF YOU EVER MARRY A FEMINIST, YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO HAVE A MARITAL BLISS. Ask Adekunle Gold for details on this.

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

Bros marriage is not by force o, forget all these religious edicts about God say this, God say that. When woman don tire, she don tire na only plenty money fit bring am back

Success is the best revenge and revenge should be best served cold.

Up your hustle!

Married to her for 40 years?

Jesus

Then you should be in your 60s.

And obviously lonely.

Maybe you need to ignore her sir, get some of your buddies to spend time with. Start a side business sir and maybe just change location and retire.

What about your kids?

oga has jam , igbo amaka......things i have heard and seen igbo women do over lots of money and dried flow of money...0

This kind of thing keeps happening to 'good' guys who don't drink and womanise. It's not a coincidence. There is a sociological explanation for this. There is a pattern to it, and the facts speak for themselves.

If you guys don't have kids yet, it's time to throw in the towel.

Tunagee:


The truth is, we only courted for like a year plus, so I did not see a lot of things about her mum,but till she left, she had always been a well brought up girl, an introvert, and extremely faithful.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. She left immediately after you lost your job. Bro... the marriage was based on your ability to provide at the time... and the potential to provide a whole lot more later.... never on love. Don't waste time talking.... she is not going to return until you show her the money. Stop crawling to her and her mom.... leave home early in the morning sharply dressed in 5 pic suit... off to nowhere... return late in the evening... let word filter to her that you landed a job in a bigger Multi national company and higher position.... they will figure out your new potential and rush back to prostrate before you begging for forgiveness.After 3 days you can tell her the company suddenly decided to relocate abroad...then blame her for the bad luck....but abeg.... avoid ehmmmm...... unguided vocal utterances.

daddytime:
Your whining, lack of balls and enough mouth to banter with your wife is the reason why she and her mother have got zero respect for you, my brother.

If you could, just ignore them and forget the so-called wife with her mom.

Na dem go begin beg you say Eleru, wa gberu re o

FACT

I love how when a man is verbally frustrating his wife and she has had enough... Naija men start talking trash about her but if the tables should turn and a man comes here to say his wife is verbally abusive all support to kick her out and move on are given to him.

Some advisers will not see heaven!!
Poster, you said it yourself that you were quite brash and verbally abusive to her these few years you lost your job. You should know that the loss of your job affects both of you as a team. She is also frustrated or depressed about your situation so heaping your frustrations on her and expecting her to endure should not be a norm or cycle.
Try to have a chat with her and recognise where you two need adjustments and work towards it.

The joy of marriage is not tied to only fidelity, money etc. How you two communicate is important.
I hope you guys find a way to make things work.

well,i have seen it all that you are a very responsible man that cherish his family and loves his wife so much,first i must comment you on this being faithful for ten months hahaha,indeed u value your home and i think i admire you alot because such men are hard to find,now my advice,the wine of your marriage has finish,there is need for a refill,go back to the founder of marriage and seek for his guidance.believe me him alone has an answer to this.

Its one thing for a woman to be sad/man about her man being broke but spoiling his image and treating him like crap is just unnecessary. She didn't even bother to get a job. Hope you're able to move on and forget about her because I don't think she was ever right for you. I'm sure when you're stable she'll come running back. When that happens, close your door in her face.

How old are you? Grow a pair.

Love is such a beautiful thing. Love you wife bro, life is too short.

No one is above challenge, this is just a little challenge.

go to your room, kneel down and speak to the lord from your heart, only him can change the impossible. Tell him Nnani gi. It would be alright
if she aint seeing someone else, she would oneday grow tired of her dominant mum.

now you need to work on yourself, get a source of income no matter how small or stressful it could be.
atleast for your boy and some bills

am not married yet, but even our girlfreinds increase the respect when we spend, its a woman thing i guess.

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

so you agreed you actually poured invectives on her, probably the frustration from your job loss made it that way. However, you need to get a job to be able to return your authority as man of the house.

[quote author=Tunagee post=80395767]

The truth is, we only courted for like a year plus, so I did not see a lot of things about her mum,but till she left, she had always been a well brought up girl, an introvert, and extremely faithful.[/oquote


Oga instead of you to be wasting your energy trying to get your wife back somepne who obviously don't love you anymore. Because no legally married woman will leave her husband for 10 months for no good reason . Are you even sure she havnt slept with another man during that time period. Marriage is not for better for worse as they made us believe anyways . Find a job regain your self worth and move on life is too short ...

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

Try all you can to get a Job first.

One of those stories so intelligently put together with exact phrasing, paragraphing and punctuation that you wonder how a writer who is (apparently) severely emotionally traumatized can be so articulate in delivering his problems. Despite the pseudo-fictionality of the story, let us assume someone is really facing this in life.

Prevention is always better than cure. Therefore, never, ever beg a woman to love you. Never beg a woman to respect you. Never ever beg a woman to be loyal to you. Never tie your happiness to a woman. Study the family of you potential spouse. Ask questions. Do not, for the love of toto, ignore red and black flags. Do not condone any act of disrespect. Same also applies to women. If that man cannot respect you, walk away. Tell yourself: "I deserve better and I can get better"

OP, if this your story is true, take time out from the marriage. Examine things without emotional blinders and see if this charade is what you want for your life. I can tell you that many men and women die miserably because they simply do not quit when the signs are obvious that they should. Assume you hit it big again. Don't you think this woman you painted can organize your death so she can claim your life insurance and what you have? Give yourself brain and write something more entertaining. I really don't buy this story.

Lexusgs430:


Are you more spiritual than Oyakhilome?......

Lol
This dude is crazy..lol

Tunagee:


Bro, I thought of it, but my faith as a christian won't allow me. More so, am from a broken home so I know what separation is, and the effect on the kids. Thirdly, the courts can take some years to divorce couples, especially when they don't see any tangible reason, and in the end, they tell couples to go settle their differences, especially when one spouse still shows interest. Am in my early 40's

Just sit tight until another man gets her pregnant or she runs off with a lover in 2 years time.

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

Get a source of income

that why is not fucking good to be loyal to one woman when you are fucking making money,who them help....

Faulty foundation

Questions for you

Is ur wife's mum a single mother? ( divorcee / widow)

Are u a Christian or Muslim? ... Either way what's u guys level of spirituality... Bench warmer or religious ?

I suspect you had a faulty foundation and there may not be remedy to marrying a wrong woman or man....

Cos the bible says " he who finds a wife has found a good thing and he has obtain favour from the lord"

If God is not the one that chose her for you .... You can't report the case to God


Sir you are finished!!!

Lexusgs430:



Ever heard of a word called 'Divorce'?......

I wonder.

Nnemuka:


Asking a broke guy to get someone pregnant
you guys are jokers, everything seems easy for you bachelors until marriage resets your brain

louder

OsuEbonyi:

I'm sorry about your plight.
I hope the Lord almighty provide you with a good job and lots of money.
There are 2 sides to a story . So, I'll keep my opinion to myself for now.

can I call that being indifferent.

If the chronicle is true,marriage is not by force and if a partner is unwilling to stick to the commitment irrespective of twists and turns then you’re not helping yourself trying to resurrect a dead horse.

No reasonable man should beg any woman who doesn’t want to stay married based on acceptable conditions.

She has betrayed the marriage code,I recommend you continue your life without her as the soured milk has already been spilt.

P/s;Should she be willing to listen going forward and if you’re a Christian, you can avail yourself of counseling in a bible based church to see if there can be a resolution within a realistic time frame.