Try to get yourself a job, start another relationship with another woman with a sense of maturity and start a new life.....don't allow sad people surround your life, you have enough stress already.

Tunagee:


Bro, I thought of it, but my faith as a christian won't allow me. More so, am from a broken home so I know what separation is, and the effect on the kids. Thirdly, the courts can take some years to divorce couples, especially when they don't see any tangible reason, and in the end, they tell couples to go settle their differences, especially when one spouse still shows interest. Am in my early 40's

HI.
Going by these reasons...
1. Since your faith is paramount, then I advice that you involve your church elders instead of social media opinions
2. Being in a broken home should not inspire fear to keep walking in torment. If by 40,you are not peacefully enjoying your home, I wonder what else you would do for peace
3. The desolution of marriage isn't rocket science. It can be done, and quickly. The thing is maybe your other reasons haven't allowed you look at this option.

Its your call. You can be unhappy to the end or be happy. If your side of the story is anything to go by, then you have to act fast.
Life is too short for perpetual unhappiness

OP has not told anybody the truth about his marriage.

Rajosh:
what kind of question is that? The Bible is against divorce except on grounds of adultery. The fact that Oyakhilome divorced doesn't make it right. Oyakhilome is a mere mortal like you and I.

His religious beliefs forbids divorce, but Oyakhilome a MOG I presume is more spiritual and spirit filled than OP......

Got divorced regardless........... I can list many MOG that got divorced, regardless of their faith.......

ffo:


Are you married? why do you people keep advising divorce at any slitest issue. nawao. the rate of which divorce is rampant in the society these days, its uncalled for. there are some things that can be settled.

By the time she has not returned in 2 years, the marriage is technically Over....

Tunagee...........

Lexusgs430:


What would you do, if your wife (assuming you're married), shuts the door behind her and goes to camp with her mother.............

Both parties want the marriage to continue. And this issue can be sorted out. Divorce is not the answer to every marriage problems. Dialogue and understands is the key

Lexusgs430:



His religious beliefs forbids divorce, but Oyakhilome a MOG I presume is more spiritual and spirit filled than OP......

Got divorced regardless........... I can list many MOG that got divorced, regardless of their faith.......

okay. now I understand you. I thought you were using Oyakhilome as your standard.
Even I, if I were in op's shoes, I would opt for divorce. 10 months is not a short time.

Lexusgs430:



Those insulting me because I suggested a divorce, simply have no clue.........

What is a marriage, when one party has walked out.......

Most people who have insulted you have no clue as they are not the ones wearing his shoes . I was in a similar and exact situation so I write from experience .

ffo:

Both parties want the marriage to continue. And this issue can be sorted out. Divorce is not the answer to every marriage problems. Dialogue and understands is the key

Which both? She has a special way of showing it.......

Can you force her to remain married?

Adultery.
Unreasonable behavior
Desertion.
2 years separation


Divorce can be commenced on all the aforementioned grounds.........

Lexusgs430:


By the time she has not returned in 2 years, the marriage is technically Over....

Tunagee...........

I have observed that most marital issues been discussed here on NL, more than 70% of the suggestions and advises are always DIVORCE. some people may divorce more than 20 times if they keep divorcing at any slightest provocation.

Xisnin:

For a 40 year old?

look at yew .i have seen where even a 50 something yr old lady dumped her husband and go lodge in another man"s house cos the husband lost his job.

AdemolaA2:


Most people who have insulted you have no clue as they are not the ones wearing his shoes . I was in a similar and exact situation so I write from experience .

I bet both parties are now happily separated...... Initially, would be tough..... But the dust eventually settles.......

Tunagee:


Married to her for just 7 years!! I mean she is going to be 40 later this year. I'm in my early 40's

Oh ok, I got you now.

Lexusgs430:


Agreed...... But a MOG got divorced..... So what's the big deal........

MOG can commit sin or divorce and that those not make it right. it only what the Bible and Christ says that as a believer we should uphold

Lexusgs430:



Which both? She has a special way of showing it.......

Can you force her to remain married?

Adultery.
Unreasonable behavior
Desertion.
2 years separation


Divorce can be commenced on all the aforementioned grounds.........

Divorce is not the answer to all marital issues.

ffo:


I have observed that most marital issues been discussed here on NL, more than 70% of the suggestions and advises are always DIVORCE. some people may divorce more than 20 times if they keep divorcing at any slightest provocation.

Divorce is usually the last option, when all forms of mediation fails.......

According to OP, the problem is probably not from his wife, but fueled by his MIL.........

A marriage can never succeed with constant interference from external parties....... One party cannot be pushing, while the other party is pulling......

ffo:


Divorce is not the answer to all marital issues.

When mediation fails, what do you do?...... Remain forcefully married to avoid the shame, while your heart is bleeding..........

Is she d one feeding u since u lost ur job? I think u shouldn't force it. This is an opportunity to focus on yourself as u continue to pray for your marriage.

Rajosh:
okay. now I understand you. I thought you were using Oyakhilome as your standard.
Even I, if I were in op's shoes, I would opt for divorce. 10 months is not a short time.

Now we are on the same card...... My point was simply for reference.......

I would rather go through a divorce, than remain unhappily married.....

Been unhappily married, can never make one settled. He would be almost useless in any job or business venture, he engages in.......

Why punish yourself........

ffo:

MOG can commit sin or divorce and that those not make it right. it only what the Bible and Christ says that as a believer we should uphold

So if your left hand always finds its way into your neighbours pot of soup, would you chop it off?.....

Lexusgs430:


So if your left hand always finds its way into your neighbours pot of soup, would you chop it off?.....

Matthew 5:29-30

generationz:


Lol
For a forty year old woman?

cmon mercy aigbe is in her 40s but guys still crush on her and she flirts around too .there have been cases of much older women who leave their husbands house for that of their lover.say a woman dey older no mean say she no go fit get lover and 40 is even young sef .

Fountainofyouth:
Honestly this is sad, from all your write up, the problem started when you lost your job, meaning all was fine before then, meaning you enticed her with money when you both started dating, meaning there was never real love in the first place just love for material and financial gain, well,since she is still interested in the marriage, give her more time that she needs, do your part by calling and seeing her not just sending your mum to go there, make steps too towards getting her back cos it's obvious you both still want to be together, all the best.

P.S To all those guys that says "make money first then women will flow your way" this is the end result.

How are you sure he enticed her with money?

this sounds like blaming him for what happened

if a stupid woman does not know that in life, you go through up and downs, why is she married in thei first place?

you are right in your last paragraph tho

Why is nobody seeing that the OP verbally abused his wife, got angry and impatient at her for the slightest things? The woman probably had enough of being viewed as less than nothing and vamoosed to get a much needed peace and self pride back.
If you guys know just how terrible verbal abuse is, you wouldn't be blaming the woman. She probably is smart enough to have realized the effect his words were having on her emotionally and psychologically and made that decision.

OP, forget the myopic and one sided advice from blind and moronic individuals here, go to your wife and tell her what she really wants you to say; a promise that you will not abuse her in anyway again. A reaffirmation that she is human and can be prone to shortcomings but that you still love and respect her with all that. She needs you to change your condescending attitude towards her, you are just too shortsighted to see it.

You should have kept it cool with her, you knew any short coming's won't be easily forgotten like that, so that's what she's using against you, if she's on whatspp you can chat up with her and tell her you won't do what you did again and most importantly pray for her.

Lexusgs430:


I bet both parties are now happily separated...... Initially, would be tough..... But the dust eventually settles.......

Of course yes !!!

What a pathetic story line that can be acted upon.

They is always 2 sides of a coin, either to make it and assume responsibility or to shy away from them when you have story to tell.

God will help you to figure out what best plans he has for you.

Good for you.

mapet:


Unfortunately for you, I love myself...money or not. Same principle I teach my children

Guy let me not lie to you. The way men value looks is the way women value words.

Emotional and verbal abuse makes a woman to lose the love and respect she has for a man. It kills love and even kills a woman faster.

Forget what people are telling you. Learn to respect your woman, accept her for who she is, complement her and learn to hold back your words when angry.

Women are to be honoured. You are about losing a good woman. Act fast and experience heaven in your marriage. Peace.

ffo:

Matthew 5:29-30

Are you saying you would chop it off?....

Nnemuka:

she was wrong traveling without telling you
she was wrong taking your kid but you need to sit down and discuss with your wife about her business.
Ask her how u can support her.. You may be doing something wrongly

The only maybe in this story is this: May be you're crazy. His Wife is cheating. Period