I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? - Family (4)

I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Stanbaba30: 12:02am On Aug 21, 2019

You obviously didn't add that you pray for him, even if its often . So just commit it to his makes hands and be at peace. He'll pull through sooner than you think.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by webcalculator(m): 12:04am On Aug 21, 2019

jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.

This is much like me when I was growing up. I do forget a lot then and plays a lot too. I believe it's a sign of being brilliant and you should develop him now by teaching him things that are hard to learn.

To put you in perspective. When I was in primary 4(in the village), I took the first position but I didn't know and didn't go to graduation day because I was playing with my friends. I lied to my parents then that they said our report will come when we resume next term and they agreed.

One day, I was chasing lizards together with my friends. We caught many and was passing my teachers home. Lol.
She called me and ask me why I didn't come. I lied.
She told me I came first in class and they called me to take my prize but I wasn't available. She flogged me that day and gave me my report. Lol.

So that's it. Leave him. Find hard things and teach him. Something interesting too.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Greenishland(f): 12:04am On Aug 21, 2019

People that are very intelligent with large heart are often lazy and careless. Take him for who he is because I am like him too and cannot really help it.

Please love him and in addition, give him vitamin B complex to improve his memory. If he is fat, chances are that it is that fat that is responsible. Cut out sugars from his food.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Nobody: 12:05am On Aug 21, 2019

AntiWailer:
Leave him alone.

Some crazy stuffs comes with being brilliant and smart.

He will out grow them with time.

You have to keep correcting him in a balanced approach so he will not grow resistance against you.

Beating does not really help in some instances. At times when he is so sure you were going to flog him, call him and explain why he should do the right thing.

Most improtantly, please pray for him.

that prayer is importanter.... village people might want to use him agaisnt your family.... don't beat the boy

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by jaxxy(m): 12:06am On Aug 21, 2019

jess2019:
Although it's not allowed here but I've moved from smacking to beating now but no change in his behaviour. I fear this boy will put me into trouble one day or grow up to hate me. I'm thinking of sending him to naija for one school semester but hubby refused.

Sm kids are naturally nonchalant and based on my dealings with such kids u have to know what interests them and form a reward based system for doing the right thing using what they like as a reward. This way he will come to value and appreciate doing the proper thing. Not all kids respond to beating especially smart independent minded ones. I worked with foreign kids at sm point and that’s was how I cud get their attention even their parents where surprised how I cud do it cos they cudnt control them without shouting bt I made it fun. Infact the parents kept calling me back to handle my kids as they fondly referred to them bt I had other engagements then.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Nobody: 12:09am On Aug 21, 2019

Madam, nothing is wrong with your child. Your son is a free spirited, super normal child.
I really don't get why you're beating yourself up about him...
I mean, you'll turn him into something else if you keep pressuring him to 'change' into your erroneous idea of a perfect child.
Accept him for who he is, love him, be patient with him as you guide him, but never stifle him. you'll see your son blossoming...

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by iammolise(m): 12:12am On Aug 21, 2019

Madam u have urself here PROBLEM CHILD (type2); not actively directly causing trouble but conscientiously gently steering anger from parents... Dangerous case

I'll advice u to take him to a strong pastor for serious deliverance.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by toluleke(m): 12:13am On Aug 21, 2019

jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.

try this whenever he does thing right reward him and praise him. Never correct him with negative words

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by luminouz(m): 12:20am On Aug 21, 2019

jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.

Send him to me in Nigeria here to train him for 6 months as his guardian(service charges inclusive)

He go sharp pass razor!!!!

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Nobody: 12:20am On Aug 21, 2019

Did the Doctor check to see if he has Autism Spectrum Disorder?

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by OSUigboFlatHead(f): 12:21am On Aug 21, 2019

Maybe he has bipolar

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by deathmen12: 12:21am On Aug 21, 2019

As I read this I am liking the boy already just be correcting him he will charge, I know there some other good things he knows how to do apart from been careless. I have a cousin like that he forget everything but very brilliant, i mean educationally wise, you can’t argue with him because as playful as he is, his brain work faster than his hands.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by MicroBox: 12:21am On Aug 21, 2019

As a mother, you actually turn your child to what he was today. You want to be a tough mom but you're are not doing it the right way.
The young innocent boy started getting use to your nagging as early as when he was 4yo.
Stop pushing too hard. He need someone that would respect his opinion and understand him as well.
Not every kid learn the hard way, some learn calmly and gradually. Behaviour and being brilliant are to different things. Being brilliant is a natural thing for him but the behavioural aspect is what he hear and see overtime. You need to study and know maybe he is introvert or extrovert.
Extrovert need to exhaust most of his energy before calming down (So get him busy with something logical and not stressful) while introvert need to process whatever command you're giving gradually before he can act. But if you're nagging, Extrovert would not understand your message and introvert need time to pin point your actual message.

Try to figure out who he can really understand and relate with, which might be his other siblings, his dad or the nanny. Also you can approach one of his teacher at school to help you arrange the schedule in his brain (Brushing, orderliness and time management).

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by GerogeI(m): 12:21am On Aug 21, 2019

As a mother, get into your child's world and find out what is exciting him so much before you end up beating it out of him. It might be something worth developing. Your child has a vivid imagination, most kids do, but some have it better than others.

And no, Nigeria does not have best environment for kids. What you have here is excessive focus on discipline, and zero provision for special minds. Unless you mean the village setting where the child is free and will develop all cognition skills, but have poor knowledge.

You do sound like s control freak though, what do you mean brushing teeth every single day and putting clothes all in same basket, that's boring as hell. Where is the exciting exploration part.

Experiment with your child and find out what his interests are, and set up avenues to develop it. That will calm him down or even exhaust him before the day runs its cause.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Debaiz: 12:22am On Aug 21, 2019

jess2019:
Although it's not allowed here but I've moved from smacking to beating now but no change in his behaviour. I fear this boy will put me into trouble one day or grow up to hate me. I'm thinking of sending him to naija for one school semester but hubby refused.

Immediately I started reading your story I knew what his problem was but unfortunately most parents don’t know the damage it has on their children that’s why even you only mentioned it once.

The problem with that boy is TV. Get him and others off the TV and watch him gradually return to normal. 5minutes of TV is enough to distract a kids mind for days.

I have a nephew here in nigeria who is also having this problem. He’s 7. His brother is 5 but the 5year old is more organized than the older one.

It has become a war between me and them trying to control the hours they spend watching tv but because they’re not my kids, there’s limit to my control over them.

Try and research online to know the damage TV does to children then you’d understand. Beating him won’t help him.

Their brain is virtually empty at this point and they take in whatever information that comes their way but the information the TV if giving out mostly comes in form of programming. The TV is programming what enters their brain at a time that you should be programming what will enter their brain.

Not all children can take in two instructions at a time. The TV programming is blocking your own programming from being grounded in his brain.

His day dreaming is a result of the things he sees on TV.

I hope you have the will to yank off the TV from their daily routine and replace it with board games and books.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by drlaykay(m): 12:25am On Aug 21, 2019

jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.

Madam, try another doctor over there. He has got ADHD from my assessment. That one does well academically doesn't rule out the fact that one could have ADHD.
Try another doctor so he could get all possible therapy.
But for the time being, get something he is interested in, make him focus much on it to consume his time and attention.
Please, I beg u in the name of God, don't send him to Nigeria. I totally believe internet advice is nonsense today with people asking u to send him to Nigeria in this era. That could have worked in the 90s or early 2000s,not in 2019.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by sinola(m): 12:25am On Aug 21, 2019

Azheimer could be what is suffering from

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by grandstar(m): 12:27am On Aug 21, 2019

jess2019

Albert Einstein was considered stupid and wasn't expected to amount to much. He couldn't even tie his shoe lace.

Some people learn differently and he might just be like that.

Don't wear yourself out. Also, don't stop reprimanding but balance it with understanding.

One thing you can do is find out something positive he likes and try and harness it. Seek things that will harness his strengths. I suspect he is a genius in the making. A mathematical mind, a writer or whatever.

You can also buy him brain supplements.

Perhaps, the best decision you can make is that spoken by Jesus about not being anxious about the next day. Take each day at at time. Each day has enough of its own troubles (Read Matthew 6:34).

His marks are good so hold on to that.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Flier: 12:29am On Aug 21, 2019

The poster who happened to be the mother is the problem here,either she is lazy or doesn’t know the right thing, the boy is not even up to 9 years and she is expecting him to do everything without supervision
Most kids can’t really do all those things she’s pointing out at the age of 8+ without supervision,she need to allow the boy to grow

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by ABCthings: 12:29am On Aug 21, 2019

momokiddies:
you are quite hard on the boy, and you know it.
I would have said he should get him diagnosed if he had ADHD but you said an expert already ruled that out, even though I think that's what might be the issue, but because he is still a lad, their characteristics is often misquoted for childhood exuberance.
truly he is forgetful, although he might pretend to be sometimes just to get away with some task, but he really is forgetful.
you just have to keep reminding him in love and enough of your shouting and smacking . it won't work. you are just pushing him too hard and he can't help himself. and you already have your mind set on how he will cause you trouble and be like other stereotyped black kid in the hood. please cut him some slack and raise that boy in love and in understanding. he's likely to outgrow this trait or they are likely to remain will you throw him out then ?
Nigerian schools are not equipped with childhood professionals who understand some developmental problems or delay a child might have. sending that boy to Nigeria is like sending him to his own doom. he will be abused , flogged and laughed over what he himself can't control. let him be with you and seek medical help. you can have another doctor diagnose him.
don't let that feel like he is a source of pains to the family . I know you have been abusing him verbally, too. just stop all of that and speak to a professional who will proffer ways on how you can manage and curtail this behaviour.
cheers!
I'm a childhood educator so I am speaking from experience. I have taught and still teaching kids like your boy. they can excel if you push them in love

I strongly disagree!
If he should be sent to Command school. His forgetfulness will evaporate like water.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Nobody: 12:30am On Aug 21, 2019

jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.

Abeg leave that boy to rest.

It's quite normal for some children to be like that and then outgrow it in a few years.

Say person no brush hair go school is normal.

Say person no brush teeth n go school is normal.

Say person no clean show n go school is normal.

Say person forget to wash cloth m wear dirty clothes to school is quite normal.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by nihilistjnr: 12:32am On Aug 21, 2019

Your son has ADHD.

Get him diagnosed asap.

Ritalin or Concerts will sort him right out

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Flier: 12:33am On Aug 21, 2019

PrecisionFx:
Abeg leave that boy to rest.

It's quite normal for some children to be like that and then outgrow it in a few years.

Say person no brush hair go school is normal.

Say person no brush teeth n go school is normal.

Say person no clean show n go school is normal.

Say person forget to wash cloth m wear dirty clothes to school is quite normal.

As I said the mother is the problem,either she is lazy or doesn’t know the right thing,the boy is 8 years plus and she want him to do everything without supervision

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by wonlasewonimi: 12:33am On Aug 21, 2019

So many doctors and assessors on this platform. Thank God they cant physically see their patients, else death injections go plenty.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by iamawara(m): 12:33am On Aug 21, 2019

I know how you feel ma. But trust me he will be fine. That was exactly what happened to our last born. he plays too much, doesn't listen to instructions at home and in school.... Moh is 9 just like ur own kid. Believe me At 12-13 Moh is the most intelligent of all in class. He is in ss2 now and doing pretty well.

Thank God self ur pikin no dey flog neighbor children..... Our own show us pepper that year.

Pls don't forget to pray..... Pray for him. All will be fine.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Nobody: 12:38am On Aug 21, 2019

Maybe he has high functioning ADHD. He needs medical attention

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by TGM2015: 12:41am On Aug 21, 2019

jess2019:
He is very athletic and good in all sports. Plays basketball, soccer, swimming and athletic. He won two consecutive cross country and broke the state record in 300m race. High scorer in his basketball team; plays for two clubs.

I'm even thinking this behaviour
started since he became too active in so many sports. Thinking I should stop him �

No do not stop him. Your kid is smarter and more intelligent than you think of him. He knows your hard and soft spot. You cannot compel a child to read when he is not interested in reading, I bet you, if your son is interested in passing any examination, at his will, he will read and pass EXCELLENTLY. Please do not force him to read.

Generally, a male child tends to be very lazy and TOO playful. Some wives can testify to their grown up husband's behavior in leaving clothes and other things carelessly and unattended to in the house. So, don't be panic. Call him and have discussion with him about his interest in life and what he intends to become. One of the educational theories is Taxonomy of education, you may need to read more at if. We have is simple term, three objectives of education, cognitive domain (knowledge based), psychomotor domain (skilled based) and affective domain (attitudes, value and interest). From your description, your son's strengths is most at psychomotor and least at cognitive. But it seems his aspect of affective domain (intestest) preferences differs from you and he is very poor at the attitudinal aspect, unfortunately no information about "the value".

For you to get him on the right track on the affective domain, you must show more affections (love) towards him, get him a school counsellor and sign him into the school's nurture group (if the school has any). Importantly, to get him to do more for himself, you must show him love, get closer to him and become his friend. You may discover him to first start to reluctantly do those things you want him to do. The more he trust and love you, the more he will develop a freewill habits not to let you down in doing what you expect him not to do. It will definitely takes years but trust me, you will be noticing reduction in those "not good for him" (bad) habits. For example, a smoker will not stop smoking at once, s/he will start by taking 9 sticks a day instead of 10, till it reduces to 1 and to none.

Now on the cognitive domain, that is, dislike for routine learning. I think his teachers need to adjust their teaching approaches to be more inclusive, learner centered, and allowing active students participations in each lessons. You may need to buy him educational gadgets that have pre-installed with relevant and related schools subjects. So that instead of reading text, he can play games, write on storyboards, relate with pictures/concrete objects, engage in projects related to the subject taught in school, etc. He should be more involved in the "doing" aspects of his school subjects/topics.

And to the psychomotor, never stop your child in the areas he has high interest in and has been excelling. You need to support and help him nurture those skills and talents to positively impact the society and his immediate family. Exposed him to likely challenges and negative attitudes change that his success may brought upon him. Guide and direct him to understand the importance of developing himself in other two domains.

Above all, there is learning disability know as Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). You might need to read more about learning difficulties and disabilities and in specific ADHD.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by elektra(f): 12:41am On Aug 21, 2019

sinola:
Azheimer could be what is suffering from

Alzheimer’s? A 9 year old?
Nothing Musa no go see for gate.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Nobody: 12:41am On Aug 21, 2019

jess2019:
He is very athletic and good in all sports. Plays basketball, soccer, swimming and athletic. He won two consecutive cross country and broke the state record in 300m race. High scorer in his basketball team; plays for two clubs.

I'm even thinking this behaviour
started since he became too active in so many sports. Thinking I should stop him �

Why would you stop him huh

He might be the next LeBron James, madam allow that boy engage more in sports since he's good at it

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by TotoNaRubber: 12:42am On Aug 21, 2019

WHERE IS HIS FATHER

jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Nubianprince101(m): 12:45am On Aug 21, 2019

Have you actually tried talking to him? Getting to know him? I probably was like this at his age, It took years before my parents finally got to understand me, I wish they created an environment where I could tell them the level of things on my mind, how back then I wished we were in a better situation, the things I was thinking in my mind that I could do do make the family in a better situation etc, yes at that young age I was already thinking that, don't alienate your son, draw him close, understand him, this is a boy that is excelling in everything he does, so why fret over mundane things?

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by forexprophet(m): 12:45am On Aug 21, 2019

Tell us the truth and shame the devil...where did you get the child from?.....Did you go to babalawo for a child?...or marine powers to get him?....confess and go for deliverance if your answer is yes!...... Is there a trace of psychosis in your leneage?.....if yes, book an appointment with a psychiatric...... If all your answers to the above is No..... Then let him be.....He is a very brilliant boy...... An engineer maybe.....

jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.

1 Like 1 Share

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