These researchers are just trying to kill the Family Institution which is the most important institution in the whole of human civilization.

God help us.

Pusyiter:
When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable
Do not use your frustration and heart brokenness to abuse the subject matter.
Marriage is sweet. If na lie ask you mama why she born you?

Are you married?

Acidosis:


Read the bold again and juxtapose with the topic. Can you see how senseless this thread is?

Why want children when children make you unhappy? Better search yourself and define what happiness means to you.

Marriage makes women unhappy not children. Or do you equate children as marriage? Do note that you can have kids without marriage but you'll be stigmatized.

No statistical research, no statistical data, no statistical analysis.
Then how did she came up her nonsense.
I guest she just sat at home doing speculative analysis.
Anybody just sit and assume any title them wish.

That's an illusion of the highest order, even a female dog can't be happy without puppies/ mate, let alone a human(female) who always crave for attention.

genq:


Lmao.

All I see here is an unmarried, childless 35+ year old woman consoling herself.

I'm yet to see a woman past her prime who is single and truly happy. Even the holy book says; "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." - this is one of the curses God place on womenfolk when Eve succumbed to satan.

Religion aside, let's not get into the financial benefits women gain from marriage. Even to afford a flat on their own they cannot. In this Nigeria, most women cannot sustain themselves without the help of a man: husband, sugardaddy, boyfriend, whatever you wanna call it.

To fix their hair sef, they need a boyfriend - but you'll see them all over nairaland posting trash.

Sidenote: I would love if more women adopt the OP's ideology. If women reject marriage in its entirety, it will save men a GREAT deal of our hard earned resources!

..even to subscribe for data..87% of women can't feed themselves ..in fact women are parasites

CHoccolaTE:
I asked this question before in another topic and I will ask it again;
What exactly do women gain from marriages apart from escaping societal pressure of getting married and having kids?

Men are the ones prolonging their lineage with marriage and kids,
Men are the ones in charge of whatever homes they set up after marriage, they have control, they have the final say. Everyone submits to them.
Men are the ones who get both a co-breadwinner and lifetime cook, cleaner, sex slave ( trust me many married women lack sexual satisfaction, sex after marriage is mostly for husband's benefit),
Men can even cheat with impunity and have children outside wedlock and go scot free, he basically maintains his freedom to have wanton sex just like when he was a bachelor, and he gets no blame and his wife is advised to stay with him because men are ' naturally polygamous'.


Yet society wants us to believe women benefit more from marriages.


With loss of freedom, loss of former identity ( changing surname even if the man you now bear his name cannot take care of you or provide for you), loss of beauty and youth after having children that belong to another mans lineage and family, horrible unsatisfying sex life in many cases, is forced to overlook cheating husbands behaviour, must balance greatest majority of housework and breadwinning while husband contributes barest minimum to housework. The man might even be jobless but the wife is advised to stay and support her husband and help him grow.

Infact the list of losses is endless.

strong and deep....
beware.... misogynists will soon come and call you feminist...

Thanks for consoling them! we understand!

Would they have say no if God had blessed them with any of all mentioned?

Men are this, men are that,yen yen yen..na so DAT mumu feminist Linda ikensi abi ikeji dey deceive gullible women till dem give am belle now all we hear is that my son is the king ,bla bla bla !!..

If your mother didn’t get married to you father, you won’t be here saying trash..

But don’t worry you can remain unmarried it will not make any sense to you now, but at the long run when you’re getting old and you see your friends you both started life together with their children or grandchildren then you will understand life better..

Lamasta:
Its a different story here in Nigeria.

Because of the stigma the Nigerian society attaches to being single or childless

.

Poor data.

CHoccolaTE:
I asked this question before in another topic and I will ask it again;
What exactly do women gain from marriages apart from escaping societal pressure of getting married and having kids?

Men are the ones prolonging their lineage with marriage and kids,
Men are the ones in charge of whatever homes they set up after marriage, they have control, they have the final say. Everyone submits to them.
Men are the ones who get both a co-breadwinner and lifetime cook, cleaner, sex slave ( trust me many married women lack sexual satisfaction, sex after marriage is mostly for husband's benefit),
Men can even cheat with impunity and have children outside wedlock and go scot free, he basically maintains his freedom to have wanton sex just like when he was a bachelor, and he gets no blame and his wife is advised to stay with him because men are ' naturally polygamous'.


Yet society wants us to believe women benefit more from marriages.


With loss of freedom, loss of former identity ( changing surname even if the man you now bear his name cannot take care of you or provide for you), loss of beauty and youth after having children that belong to another mans lineage and family, horrible unsatisfying sex life in many cases, is forced to overlook cheating husbands behaviour, must balance greatest majority of housework and breadwinning while husband contributes barest minimum to housework. The man might even be jobless but the wife is advised to stay and support her husband and help him grow.

Infact the list of losses is endless.

Ma, I feel your pain. Trust me I really do

this set of women have mental breakdown & disorder and also other physical & spiritual issues

Theyoungmatron:
Marriage makes women unhappy not children. Or do you equate children as marriage? Do note that you can have kids without marriage but you'll be stigmatized.

Did you read the title of the thread before posting this?

CHoccolaTE:
W
'If you are a man, you should probably get married; if you are a woman, don’t bother'

Maya OppenheimWomen's Correspondent @mayaoppenheim
Tuesday 28 May 2019 14:33

The Independent
Women who are not married and do not have children are the happiest group in the population, a prominent expert in happiness has said.

Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioural science at the London School of Economics, said unmarried and childless women are also likely to outlive their married child-rearing counterparts and are healthier than them.

Speaking at the Hay festival on Saturday, Mr Dolan said the latest data demonstrated that long-established, traditional symbols of success did not necessarily correlate with happiness levels.



The best-selling author, who carries out original research into the measurement of happiness and its causes and consequences, noted men in comparison benefited from marriage as they “calm down”.

He said: “You take less risks, you earn more money at work, and you live a little longer. She, on the other hand, has to put up with that, and she dies sooner than if she never married. The healthiest and happiest population subgroup are women who never married or had children".

Mr Dolan added: “Married people are happier than other population subgroups, but only when their spouse is in the room when they are asked how happy they are. When the spouse is not present: f***ing miserable.


“We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that academic science and just say: if you are a man, you should probably get married; if you are a woman, don’t bother.”

Mr Dolan’s latest book, Happy Ever After, cites evidence from the American Time Use Survey, which compared levels of pleasure and unhappiness in unmarried, married, divorced, separated and widowed individuals. The study discovered levels of happiness reported by those who were married was higher than those who do not have spouses, but only when their husband or wife was in the room.


People who were not married reported lower levels of misery than married individuals who were asked when their spouse was not present.

Other studies have measured some financial and health benefits in being married for both men and women on average, which Mr Dolan said could be ascribed to higher incomes and emotional support, allowing married people to take risks and seek medical help.


While Mr Dolan pointed to men displaying more health benefits from getting married due to them taking less risks, women’s health was mainly unaffected by marriage. But middle-aged married women were at higher risk of physical and mental conditions than their single peers.

How to dance your way to happiness
In spite of the advantages of an unmarried childless existence for women, Mr Dolan said the fact marriage and children were seen to be traditional, established emblems of success meant the stigma could cause some single women to feel unhappy.

He said: “You see a single woman of 40, who has never had children – ‘Bless, that’s a shame, isn’t it? Maybe one day you’ll meet the right guy and that’ll change.’ No, maybe she’ll meet the wrong guy and that’ll change. Maybe she’ll meet a guy who makes her less happy and healthy, and die sooner.”

Mr Dolan said that having children can be harmful to people’s well being – saying many parents might secretly agree with a famous academic colleague who “said that he liked the existence of his children but not their presence”.

“It would be categorically awful if anything happened to them, but the experiences we have with children are largely miserable,” he added.

Mr Dolan said that having children is “an amazing experience” for some, but added that “for a lot of people it isn’t, and the idea that we can’t talk openly about why that might be is a problem.”



https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert

Might be correct since its the EXACT opposite of what everybody thinks.

CHoccolaTE:


That's because misery loves company. Majority of them are in miserable marriages so they want to rope others in with them.

hope you plan to remain single and childless? Have fun.

Report done by a white man, for white women in Western societies, yet some stupid Nigerians are finding consolation in it.

Be deceiving yourselves.

genq:


Lmao.

All I see here is an unmarried, childless 35+ year old woman consoling herself.

I'm yet to see a woman past her prime who is single and truly happy. Even the holy book says; "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

Let's not get into the financial benefits women gain from marriage. Even to afford a flat on their own they cannot. In this Nigeria, most women cannot sustain themselves without the help of a man: husband, sugardaddy, boyfriend, whatever you wanna call it.

To fix their hair sef, they need a boyfriend - but you'll see them all over nairaland posting trash.

Sidenote: I would love if more women adopt the OP's ideology. If women reject marriage in its entirety, it will save men a GREAT chunk of our hard earned resources!

the likes of alibaba wants to decieve society by telling them ladies are focusing on goals and achieving them. i laugh when i hear that; like what are the goals? is it multi national coorperation they are building? or what exactly? or is it the 2 by 2 corner shop they are setting up, and the rest made up for by another man, that is the goal they are achieving?

There were never true marriages at any point in history. What you had were marriages were women kept their mouths shut and acted as told.

yemisolar:
This is strictly the opinion of the writer. And, he is entiltled to it. True marriages these days are not what they should be but there are a lot of people having great times in their marriage. Though the bad ones get more publicity than the good ones but there are a good number of good ones out there.

Anyone can get angry at men, society or even religion but for a woman, having a life companion, -someone you can feel completely at home with, free without any inhibitions or shame, having your back at any point in time. Someone you can look up to as a friend, mentor, a good father to your children and even someone to get vent on - is the happiest thing that can happen to one.

The caveat however is making the right choice.

The truth is that women who know how powerful they are know that they are the ones controlling the home. Not the man. The problem most women have is that they think it's by confrontation. When that doesn't work they start crying foul.

No doubt marriage is a truest test of One's character but if one gets it right it can be heaven on Earth.

I am for finding ways for people to make right choices and making their marriages work rather than discouraging them completely.

Yes, I am married........ 11 years and counting.

Breaststroke:


Yinmu! You can never be happy without a child . I strongly disagree, I am an exception to this rule.

Motherhood is not for everyone, just because we have the equipment for it, doesn't mean we all have the disposition for it.

There's a consistent lack of desire for children I particularly feel. I have zero interest in birthing a child of my own, how do we explain that?

I am actually glad about being child free and staying that way. The researcher echoed my sentiments about kids in this article.

Hahahaha!

Have you wondered whether it is because she desires to be married or could be because not societal pressure?

genq:


Lmao.

All I see here is an unmarried, childless 35+ year old woman consoling herself.

I'm yet to see a woman past her prime who is single and truly happy. Even the holy book says; "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

Let's not get into the financial benefits women gain from marriage. Even to afford a flat on their own they cannot. In this Nigeria, most women cannot sustain themselves without the help of a man: husband, sugardaddy, boyfriend, whatever you wanna call it.

To fix their hair sef, they need a boyfriend - but you'll see them all over nairaland posting trash.

Sidenote: I would love if more women adopt the OP's ideology. If women reject marriage in its entirety, it will save men a GREAT chunk of our hard earned resources!

CHoccolaTE:
I asked this question before in another topic and I will ask it again;
What exactly do women gain from marriages apart from escaping societal pressure of getting married and having kids?

Men are the ones prolonging their lineage with marriage and kids,
Men are the ones in charge of whatever homes they set up after marriage, they have control, they have the final say. Everyone submits to them.
Men are the ones who get both a co-breadwinner and lifetime cook, cleaner, sex slave ( trust me many married women lack sexual satisfaction, sex after marriage is mostly for husband's benefit),
Men can even cheat with impunity and have children outside wedlock and go scot free, he basically maintains his freedom to have wanton sex just like when he was a bachelor, and he gets no blame and his wife is advised to stay with him because men are ' naturally polygamous'.


Yet society wants us to believe women benefit more from marriages.


With loss of freedom, loss of former identity ( changing surname even if the man you now bear his name cannot take care of you or provide for you), loss of beauty and youth after having children that belong to another mans lineage and family, horrible unsatisfying sex life in many cases, is forced to overlook cheating husbands behaviour, must balance greatest majority of housework and breadwinning while husband contributes barest minimum to housework. The man might even be jobless but the wife is advised to stay and support her husband and help him grow.

Infact the list of losses is endless.

You're invariably, indirectly and maybe inadvertently admitting to the fact that it's the men's world, you may argue to eternity yet wouldn't be able to come up with a valid point.

Face the indefatigable and irrevocable truth, you're better off married as a woman if you doubt so please remain single or if you're already married please divorce asap and see what the end result becomes.

You can't fight nature, women are meant to suffer in line with fulfilling the purpose of serving men's need, no one brought it upon you but you. So chill!

In as much as marriage and children are purely supported by God, African ladies should get sense and not be deceived all in the name of marriage. There are men who never married for the sake of the work of God. There are women who never married for the same purpose and God never said they'd not make heaven. In africa , especially Nigeria, our women have been so myopic that, once they dont have any job after graduating, the next thing is to start looking for a a bf they'd lure into marriage. Once they get to their final year in the higher institution, instead of them thinking of how to make it in life by standing out in their career and not end up a liability and a punching bag in their marital homes, they'd be disturbing their bfs or fiancee with marriage and such words as...amaka is getting married tomorrow, we must go together to attend the party and if he finally accepted the invite, you'd be hearing, do you like the wedding gown? How about the combination? I want ours to be just like that dear, how do you see it and when they get home...dear, please when are you seeing my parents? I'm not getting any younger...etc and the pressure continues until the poor guy either succumbs or backs off and they start their lives the same way their parents lived and ended up. Only a few of them would say...boo, I'd like to enrol in a fashion school before nysc so there would be streams of income for us when we finally settle down, how do you see that? Or , I'd like to learn a trade to support our family dear because no jobs anywhere so we should start thinking smart. Or dear, don't you think we need to give relocation abroad a thought, let's pull funds together and get started now....meanwhile, their counterparts in the west would prefer to work hard and stand tall to support their homes. Our women need to have a rethink and be enterprising because they've always made themselves a liability and that's why some men treat them like rags. If you set a pace and you are enterprising , even before you know it, your guy would come proposing. No guy wants a liability. Think smart and get engaged with futuristic endeavours.

Sterope:
There were never true marriages at any point in history. What you had were marriages were women kept their mouths shut and acted as told.

They can't help but comply totallyto nature's dictates, such is their primary obligation, shut your mouth and act accordingly.

experts no dey tire

Nonsense talk! My sister is crying all day because of her childlessness she has been waiting upon the lord still no answer,
We are looking for #500k to give to her now so she can adopt,do u know the agony somebody that is childless passes through the humiliation alone is something else.

CHoccolaTE:
Hahahaha

This topic always pains men

Men are such hypocrites.
They go about declaring that they hate marriages
And have no need for it
Marriage is bondage,
Etc etc

But when women open their mouths to say they are happier without marriages just like men they get angry and forcefully insist that women want and desire marriage

Who seems to be happier in wedding ceremonies?. Bride or groom. Who seems to likely be seen in deliverance sessions or Shiloh praying for marriage? Man or woman. Who is more likely to get married to a couple and become second wife or second husband? Man or woman.

mankettle:
.
not to join issues with you but I have a lot of guys( Nigeria not foreign) who are single and don't have any intention of marrying soon. these guys are well paid and have good careers.
whereas I also have female friends who also have good jobs etc but are sad because they are not married.
I am not doubting the research done, but I believe the research wasn't carried out in Nigeria and so what applies there may not apply here.

True, but that is because most Nigerians have been conditioned to believe that a woman is incomplete without marriage. Women more than men are the ones that attack other women that are successful without marriage. They go after them with so much vehemence, you’d think it was personal.

I want to have kids but I am more interested in having a partner than children. When people have children, I am genuinely happy for them but not crazy about it. It doesn't evoke my biological need to have children.

That definitely will change after having my kids but before then, I hope not to have kids anytime soon.

Breaststroke:


Yinmu! You can never be happy without a child . I strongly disagree, I am an exception to this rule.

Motherhood is not for everyone, just because we have the equipment for it, doesn't mean we all have the disposition for it.

There's a consistent lack of desire for children I particularly feel. I have zero interest in birthing a child of my own, how do we explain that?

I am actually glad about being child free and staying that way. The researcher echoed my sentiments about kids in this article.