Breaststroke:


Yinmu! You can never be happy without a child . I strongly disagree, I am an exception to this rule.

Motherhood is not for everyone, just because we have the equipment for it, doesn't mean we all have the disposition for it.

There's a consistent lack of desire for children I particularly feel. I have zero interest in birthing a child of my own, how do we explain that?

I am actually glad about being child free and staying that way. The researcher echoed my sentiments about kids in this article.

CHoccolaTE:
Hahahaha

This topic always pains men

Men are such hypocrites.
They go about declaring that they hate marriages
And have no need for it
Marriage is bondage,
Etc etc

But when women open their mouths to say they are happier without marriages just like men they get angry and forcefully insist that women want and desire marriage

geosegun:


Because we know it's all lies. When lies spread like that without debunking it quickly. Some innocent souls may start taken it seriously

Breaststroke:


I know we are rare and we are mostly non-conformists.

I want marriage for the sex and companionship, not for children.

I can have all the sex I want even now, but it won't be on a platform God approves of and I will essentially be sinning. This baby girl doesn't want that.




Where is Sterope? Please come and chi chometin o! A Nigerian man on nairaland for that matter with similar thoughts like mine. Hian there's still hope.

Breaststroke:


I am not most ladies, I am me - a lady quite alright but a unique/different one who is self aware and knows her likes/dislikes, strengths/weakness, including what I want out of this life for myself.

I won't miss an experience I've never had nor wish to have! That other women regretted their choice when they were older doesn't automatically mean I will too.

Different strokes for different folks

Wettoid123:
Nonsense talk! My sister is crying all day because of her childlessness she has been waiting upon the lord still no answer,
We are looking for #500k to give to her now so she can adopt,do u know the agony somebody that is childless passes through the humiliation alone is something else.

CHoccolaTE:


That's because misery loves company. Majority of them are in miserable marriages so they want to rope others in with them.

CHoccolaTE:
I asked this question before in another topic and I will ask it again;
What exactly do women gain from marriages apart from escaping societal pressure of getting married and having kids?

Men are the ones prolonging their lineage with marriage and kids,
Men are the ones in charge of whatever homes they set up after marriage, they have control, they have the final say. Everyone submits to them.
Men are the ones who get both a co-breadwinner and lifetime cook, cleaner, sex slave ( trust me many married women lack sexual satisfaction, sex after marriage is mostly for husband's benefit),
Men can even cheat with impunity and have children outside wedlock and go scot free, he basically maintains his freedom to have wanton sex just like when he was a bachelor, and he gets no blame and his wife is advised to stay with him because men are ' naturally polygamous'.


Yet society wants us to believe women benefit more from marriages.


With loss of freedom, loss of former identity ( changing surname even if the man you now bear his name cannot take care of you or provide for you), loss of beauty and youth after having children that belong to another mans lineage and family, horrible unsatisfying sex life in many cases, is forced to overlook cheating husbands behaviour, must balance greatest majority of housework and breadwinning while husband contributes barest minimum to housework. The man might even be jobless but the wife is advised to stay and support her husband and help him grow.

Infact the list of losses is endless.

CHoccolaTE:
I asked this question before in another topic and I will ask it again;
What exactly do women gain from marriages apart from escaping societal pressure of getting married and having kids?

Men are the ones prolonging their lineage with marriage and kids,
Men are the ones in charge of whatever homes they set up after marriage, they have control, they have the final say. Everyone submits to them.
Men are the ones who get both a co-breadwinner and lifetime cook, cleaner, sex slave ( trust me many married women lack sexual satisfaction, sex after marriage is mostly for husband's benefit),
Men can even cheat with impunity and have children outside wedlock and go scot free, he basically maintains his freedom to have wanton sex just like when he was a bachelor, and he gets no blame and his wife is advised to stay with him because men are ' naturally polygamous'.


Yet society wants us to believe women benefit more from marriages.


With loss of freedom, loss of former identity ( changing surname even if the man you now bear his name cannot take care of you or provide for you), loss of beauty and youth after having children that belong to another mans lineage and family, horrible unsatisfying sex life in many cases, is forced to overlook cheating husbands behaviour, must balance greatest majority of housework and breadwinning while husband contributes barest minimum to housework. The man might even be jobless but the wife is advised to stay and support her husband and help him grow.

Infact the list of losses is endless.

sassysure:

Listen very well.
What your sister want to do is stealing someone's child.
They will tell them it's an orphanage yet charge exorbitant fee. Cos of desperation to have a child, they will see all the red flags yet close eyes and pay such money.
No genuine orphanage in Nigeria charges u such amount.
I repeat, none will charge you this outrageous and ridiculous amount of money for adoption.
If u guys contribute money for her to eventually do so, know that u have stolen someone's child. The cry of the mother will never go unanswered and your family will pay for it.

Instead of giving her money to do such, she should do ivf or surrogacy if the problem is hers. If it's the husband's, she can go for donor sperm. All these are better option than stealing someone's child biko.

pocohantas:


What is your business if innocent souls take it seriously since some men have said they don't want women/marriage? Looks like it is all attention seeking from you lots to increase desirability. Artificial scarcity comes to mind.

bukatyne:


The ones you are supposed to marry abi?

CHoccolaTE:


The only reason women appear to 'want' marriages is because they have a biological need to bear children and they can't do that outside marriage because they and their children will be stigmatized. Many married women are miserable as hell in their marriages, single women are better off than them when it comes to peace of mind.

Breaststroke:


I couldn't help lol @ this.

What will that sort of man want more children for? A divorcee in my office with 3 kids doesn't want more and he's 46. I am hoping said widower is like him sha
[b]Who wants to be raising kids in old age and paying school fees with retirement funds? [/b]That's self induced stress, we like suffer head sha.

geosegun:
.

Oh, I see! my business is to enlighten innocent souls so that they will not be misled? Those could be Family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, kids etc who may not know the different between right and wrong. Keeping quite, is the reason why we have so many regrets and bitter souls these days and this continue to spread like wild fire.

ornicus:
I have an aunt whose husband was an ambassador. So they have always been wealthy. Very very connected. But they had a very very difficult marriage. They have five girls. All should be over 50 now. Only one is married, and that one is based in naija.The rest have been working all around the world outside Nigeria. The ladies as far as I can see, are happy and successful. It is their parents who are not happy that their daughters are old and single.

No one will grow up in a home full of fights and anger and want to repeat same.

MissWrite:
Values are and should always be personal for a person to reap any kind of benefit. Society cannot value something for an individual, it can only value something for itself. A society might value marriage because it helps increase its population while providing structure for its growing members. But it doesn't mean every individual would find satisfaction in being drafted to this cause. Some will, others won't.

People who want to be married, but aren't, would be less happy than they could be after their goals are met. People who don't want to be married, but somehow found themselves hitched, would be less happy than they would have been without the commitment. None of these people would necessarily be miserable, depending on how big of a deal marriage is to the individual. A person's happiness depends on so many factors.

Therefore, a comparison of the happiness of married and unmarried people across the board cannot be used to judge which marital status is more beneficial to people in general. In the end, it comes down to the individual. What would make YOU happy or happIER? We are not in a race, competing for who is happiest. We are just trying to serve ourselves the best way we can. And the fact that single people might occasionally admire a cute family; or that married people occasionally envy the freedom of single people doesn't necessarily mean they chose wrongly. Because afterwards, they realise that they wouldn't have had the lasting desire to make the scenario work for themselves.

Let's just be who we are, and do our heart's conviction. It's the only way to be happy.

missjo:

Your second paragraph contradicts and defeats the intentions of the previous.
Anyone who is not over been raised in a home full of fights and anger, and still at adulthood, does not believe they can do better because they are better, is most definitely NOT a happy and emotionally healthy person when it comes down to the point.
Basic psychology.

In your defense tho, you did say your opinion is based off 'as far as you can see'.

ornicus:


Or they understand that they are like their parents and they are likely to also be attracted to people with their parents traits and personality.

You also come off as a person who automatically assumes that marriage is the ultimate fulfillment.

If I grew up in an environment where I associated marriage with constant fights, occasional domestic violence, and everyone saying it should be put up with why would I want that for myself? Why would I want to repeat the cycle?

In your Mind, a person who is not married is automatically an emotionally unhealthy person.

That story is the story of a lot of marriages in this country, where people just manage for the sake of keeping up appearances.

midnighter:


You are just using words without knowing their meaning, keep displaying your ignorance here...dont go and check the dictionary before embarrassing yourself..

Feminism caused evolution.. please what are you smoking, let me call ndlea for you

After now they will complain that Buhari didnt answer the question. Simple read and comprehend you cant, just to quote me and be talking off-point

MissWrite:
Values are and should always be personal for a person to reap any kind of benefit. Society cannot value something for an individual, it can only value something for itself. A society might value marriage because it helps increase its population while providing structure for its growing members. But it doesn't mean every individual would find satisfaction in being drafted to this cause. Some will, others won't.

People who want to be married, but aren't, would be less happy than they could be after their goals are met. People who don't want to be married, but somehow found themselves hitched, would be less happy than they would have been without the commitment. None of these people would necessarily be miserable, depending on how big of a deal marriage is to the individual. A person's happiness depends on so many factors.

Therefore, a comparison of the happiness of married and unmarried people across the board cannot be used to judge which marital status is more beneficial to people in general. In the end, it comes down to the individual. What would make YOU happy or happIER? We are not in a race, competing for who is happiest. We are just trying to serve ourselves the best way we can. And the fact that single people might occasionally admire a cute family; or that married people occasionally envy the freedom of single people doesn't necessarily mean they chose wrongly. Because afterwards, they realise that they wouldn't have had the lasting desire to make the scenario work for themselves.

Let's just be who we are, and do our heart's conviction. It's the only way to be happy.

cococandy:
So they are unhappy because of the wicked judgement of people like genq and co.

Not because they necessarily need the husbands. But because they want the wicked judgement to stop right?
Maybe without the judgement, it wouldn’t really be a bad situation?

Makes you wonder why genq gets hyper when he hears of unmarried women.

Breaststroke:


You're the best

Your comment is the gbamest one on this thread.

I like how you articulated your thoughts/points too.

Do you write in real life?

Magnoliaa:

CHoccolaTE:
I asked this question before in another topic and I will ask it again;
What exactly do women gain from marriages apart from escaping societal pressure of getting married and having kids?

Men are the ones prolonging their lineage with marriage and kids,
Men are the ones in charge of whatever homes they set up after marriage, they have control, they have the final say. Everyone submits to them.
Men are the ones who get both a co-breadwinner and lifetime cook, cleaner, sex slave ( trust me many married women lack sexual satisfaction, sex after marriage is mostly for husband's benefit),
Men can even cheat with impunity and have children outside wedlock and go scot free, he basically maintains his freedom to have wanton sex just like when he was a bachelor, and he gets no blame and his wife is advised to stay with him because men are ' naturally polygamous'.


Yet society wants us to believe women benefit more from marriages.


With loss of freedom, loss of former identity ( changing surname even if the man you now bear his name cannot take care of you or provide for you), loss of beauty and youth after having children that belong to another mans lineage and family, horrible unsatisfying sex life in many cases, is forced to overlook cheating husbands behaviour, must balance greatest majority of housework and breadwinning while husband contributes barest minimum to housework. The man might even be jobless but the wife is advised to stay and support her husband and help him grow.

Infact the list of losses is endless.

desvi:


they are pained because
they benefit from marriage more
they have regular sèx which they need more than women
they can continue with their careers and have a cheap maid/helper/cook at home
yet she will have to make money too and contribute
they get children without the pains of child birth

and as the article stated, they get some sense

bigfrancis21:






I've been following this thread and I share in your sentiments. It is true that as the world becomes better and stronger economically, women don't need men for financial support as they can decide to live independently on their own. Also an individual has a right to choose if they want to get married or not or have kids or not. I live in America and feminism has revolutionized the institution of marriage and American women are very successful and independent nowadays. More women than men graduate from American colleges and university.

But here's the caveat: American women are still the ones craving for men and marriage than men despite their levels of success. They are the ones writing articles, making videos etc about the dearth of men and why they can't seem to find a man. There are way more articles and videos by women complaining about not finding a man vs men doing the same about women. It seems as though that when women are in their teens and 20s they do not care at all about marriage or children but only their career but when they hit their 30s their careers become less important to them and marriage and motherhood seem more important. I am speaking from experience living in a country that is a living proof of the ideal that you want Nigeria to aspire to. Interestingly, overall American women desire marriage more than men when there is no societal pressure for them to (compared to Nigeria) and American men, on the other hand, are avoiding marriage as there is no real benefit to it for them anyway (divorce laws favor women more than men). They are VERY OK with being baby daddies so as to freely have as many sexual partners as possible. Remember that men tend to be more sexually active and there is a saying, 'why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?' Apps like tinder etc have made sex such a cheap and easy commodity that men see no reason to get married anyway. Also combine this with the new movement, MGTOW (men going their own way), where a growing number of educated, responsible and successful men are choosing to forego marriage altogether. Someone made a comment about men doing anything to get a woman to open her legs, which is true but they do this mostly for the sexual benefit but not for long term purposes such as marriage. In other words, you might think that men are hurting by women being more financially independent but it ends up hurting women more than men.

Just a quick search on youtube on this topic turned up the following videos (a few out of thousands):

Why Ms. Independent Can't Find Mr. Right

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adZaEaH7DTQ

3-6 million US black women can't find a husband or boyfriend

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ymsPTuK_X4

HOW TO BE CONTENT IN YOUR SINGLENESS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tlOj6sBGpc

College Educated Women Can’t Find Love

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foCcrD5-V3k

Lives of Unmarried Women in their 30’s and 40’s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmwfNdUbd4c

Why Black Men ain't marrying ya ass

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yydrXGhS85Q


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH8lq_sao9Y


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jEB3--K5OI


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCfgq_Xgqvo


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWmHmVAEahg

We are all in this ever-changing world heading for some unknown destination. We will all just ride along and see where it leads us to.