I don't know what the problem with African is though buh it seems it's not God that created others that also create us sha cuz in everything we are totally different and it's obvious.

A case study of Mercy conversation with Ike on the bbn recently telling him 'He can't take care of her and her family'. It's obvious this is the mentality of most African women. I was on a dead thread recently and i saw a lady on that thread telling the op to forget(leave) her boyfriend and start seraching for men over 30 years instead cuz a 26 year old man can still not feed himself not to talk of feeding the op and her family. What an advice.

18 years is world standard age of freedom, right? This means at 18 years, a man is free off his family and can as well start his own family if he so wish, ain't it so how come a man 8 years older than 18 is deemed not to be fit for marriage? Well, cuz he won't only be carying his own burden anymore, he'll also be carrying that of the wife and the wifes' extended family, but why exactly? And they wonder why African men don't settle down early.

This story has to change, it was never mandated in any religion book(for religious people) that a partner is to carry the others burden just because they are married. Infact the bible made us realize a woman is meant or created to be an helpmate to a man and not a burden buh reverse is the case in the world we live in now.

First from the unnecessary troubles you make them go through all in the name of wedding, make them spend all savings they could have also invest which will in turn help the marriage in the long run, same wedding you could have just take your immediately family only, with that of your partner, go to any court, get it done, wear your wedding dress and take photos(for future sake) and return home as husband and wife buh no, sunny ade must come to play, all extended family we've not seen for past 15 years must all gather while we call on feast for everyone even if we have to borrow money to host them and such still paying loan even after 10 years in marriage while the people we hosted are all in their homes living their life wit no concern of how new couple are fairing...

Then we manage to host them successfully (thanks to loans), now we are together as husband and wife, we have to watch it when we will be giving birth cuz right now it's time for repayment hence there must be little delay in that.

And then, just a year after, your far distance cousin is also getting married, your husband who is only responsible for the family even with the meagre he receieve monthly is again mandated to buy aso ebi and not just ending there, must accompany you, not just that, getting there, you must also show a sense of belonging, you must show them your husband too is there(if you know), money must be spray by force and then another loan again for another unnecessary course. I don't really understand, is this really why God made union? Did he created eve to just frustrate adam for no cause or for other reasons?

Because of this many reasons which i just cannot fully list here, marriage is seen as some very hard job for men who ought to be married when actually it isn't hard. I made it an African thing because i have seen the way other youths in western world are living compared to how we live down here. All is not perfect everywhere all over the world but trust me if it's 30% worst over there, it is 97% worst down here in Africa.

Fornication, soapy and other are now what the youths indulge in because society won't let them become who they ought to be at the right time. It's insane and i hope things can really change for better.

And men(youths) go ahead and marry and still be you, no one should pressurize you to what you are not and cannot be, once you can take care of yourself and your wife, no problem, it's not your duty to take care of wifes family, it's hers buh willingly from your heart you can if you so wish buh must not be forced and mind you marriage isn't force, if it's not working it's totally not working, there's nothing like i'm doing it for this or that, stop making things hard unnecessarily, it can easily be disolved and you try again. Let's all stop making marriage seems hard and encourage youths instead of scaring them into fornication and others.

African marriage is so special that is why money speaks....

Marriage is difficult it is not Africans that made it so
It is so because it is so

This is one of the things i dnt like about us,many guys are in debt after their lavish wedding just to impress family nd friends.
What i know is that on my wedding day it will be very simple with just family nd close friends,i will rather use the money to establish myself nd hubby.

goodmorning40:
Marriage is difficult it is not Africans that made it so
It is so because it is so

you lied. Marriage isn't hard, Africans made it so with their barbaric reasoning. Many women don't want to leave abusive marriage because the society would look down on them, the youths don't wanna go into marriage not because they can't take care of themselves and their respective wives buh because they can't at the same time take care of extended families of their partners.

Same girls many guys are with right now can easily be married off by them buh they can't not because they can't feed them but because what tradition would request them to bring before they can officially hand over same girls to them, because extended family will never stop coming and then because many of these girls also only want the marriage because they are tired of fending for themselves.

Go to many western word and see how easy marriage is really is.

ijesuoboikxp1:
African marriage is so special that is why money speaks....

and what's special about the nonsense?

Pettyprincess:
This is one of the things i dnt like about us,many guys are in debt after their lavish wedding just to impress family nd friends.
What i know is that on my wedding day it will be very simple with just family nd close friends,i will rather use the money to establish myself nd hubby.

enu dun rofo.

Marriage isn't actually hard... It's the couple that will decide if they want it hard or sensible.
If you choose a simple wedding no one will arrest you.
If you choose to break the bank and add huge loan to it. Pray hunger doesn't strangle you

Pettyprincess:
This is one of the things i dnt like about us,many guys are in debt after their lavish wedding just to impress family nd friends.
What i know is that on my wedding day it will be very simple with just family nd close friends,i will rather use the money to establish myself nd hubby.

.. There's a different between marriage and wedding.

"Everything that is not good in this world is motivated by Africans." Dullard Fool.

In a way,i agree with the op. African culture made marriage a difficult task. Marriage is supposed to be btw a man,his wife and children but in Africa,when one gets married,he marries the whole extended family of his wife.

MoonWater:
Marriage isn't actually hard... It's the couple that will decide if they want it hard or sensible.
If you choose a simple wedding no one will arrest you.
If you choose to break the bank and add huge loan to it. Pray hunger doesn't strangle you

actually some people don't have the courage to oppose society. So society actually makes it hard.

Tajbol4splend:
"Everything that is not good in this world is motivated by Africans." Dullard Fool.

and what are Africans ever good for? Most especially the ones stucked here in the continent. Did you even see the humiliation the African leaders suffered at the just concluded UNGA? The rest of the world left immideately African leaders started giving their speech. Why? Because they know Africans have nothing to offer.

Kapeter:
and what are Africans ever good for? Most especially the ones stucked here in the continent. Did you even see the humiliation the African leaders suffered at the just concluded UNGA? The rest of the world left immideately African leaders started giving their speech. Why? Because they know Africans have nothing to offer.

Have you read the history of this world?

Being single is one privileged I can't trade for a billion naira, marriage is equivalent to life imprisonment.


The fear of someone standing at the door demanding to know where I was coming from by 11pm scare the shít outta me.

Offpoint:
Being single is one privileged I can't trade for a billion naira, marriage is equivalent to life imprisonment.


The fear of someone standing at the door demanding to know where I was coming from by 11pm scare the shít outta me.

.. Hahahahaha. Don't worry just marry a woman that understand you and that won't be a problem.

JONNYSPUTE:
.. Hahahahaha. Don't worry just marry a woman that understand you and that won't be a problem.

My brother there's no woman that will understand such o, dem go start dey accuse you of things you no do.

Offpoint:

My brother there's no woman that will understand such o, dem go start dey accuse you of things you no do.

.. Then it depends on you to make her to understand you. In my house,my wife knows I don't joke with my Friday nights hanging out with my guys.I will just let her know my location and that's it.

JONNYSPUTE:
.. Then it depends on you to make her to understand you. In my house,my wife knows I don't joke with my Friday nights hanging out with my guys.I will just let her know my location and that's it.

The fact I need to explain to her takes away my freedom.

I want to go where I want, when I want without being questionable or answerable to nobody.

COMPLETE FREEDOM

Offpoint:

The fact I need to explain to her takes away my freedom.

I want to go where I want, when I want without being questionable or answerable to nobody.

COMPLETE FREEDOM

. Ok, now I get you. But that's impossible cause both of you are now one.Well,marriage is not for everybody.

MoonWater:
Marriage isn't actually hard... It's the couple that will decide if they want it hard or sensible.
If you choose a simple wedding no one will arrest you.
If you choose to break the bank and add huge loan to it. Pray hunger doesn't strangle you

abeg e hard.

go marry ibo girl first.

Africans and their f*ucked up tradition.
even list sef you go pay money collect.
why boys no go fear commitment.

Tajbol4splend:




Have you read the history of this world?

seems someone is delusional.

skywalker240:

abeg e hard.

go marry ibo girl first.

It's because Igbo people used to demand alot for bride price and so on ....

Kapeter:
you lied. Marriage isn't hard, Africans made it so with their barbaric reasoning. Many women don't want to leave abusive marriage because the society would look down on them, the youths don't wanna go into marriage not because they can't take care of themselves and their respective wives buh because they can't at the same time take care of extended families of their partners.

Same girls many guys are with right now can easily be married off by them buh they can't not because they can't feed them but because what tradition would request them to bring before they can officially hand over same girls to them, because extended family will never stop coming and then because many of these girls also only want the marriage because they are tired of fending for themselves.

Go to many western word and see how easy marriage is really is.

When i hear keywords like African, Babaric culture, i know that the writer must be brainwashed to think anything African is nonsense.

yeah Marriage isnt hard but the highest divorce rate are all in the western world

You must be confused, you wrote that Marriage is not for burden sharing but here in Nigeria,marriage is burden sharing that is why most African marriage last long

skywalker240:
Africans and their f*ucked up tradition.

even list sef you go pay money collect.

why boys no go fear commitment.

How is African Tradition bleeped up?

so in western world, boys dont fear commitment and marriage?

Kapeter:
and what are Africans ever good for? Most especially the ones stucked here in the continent. Did you even see the humiliation the African leaders suffered at the just concluded UNGA? The rest of the world left immideately African leaders started giving their speech. Why? Because they know Africans have nothing to offer.

That U.N. news story is fake.
P.S.The archaic practice of marriage is difficult everywhere in the world and weddings are expensive everywhere on earth.Travel and see

Kapeter:
and what are Africans ever good for? Most especially the ones stucked here in the continent. Did you even see the humiliation the African leaders suffered at the just concluded UNGA? The rest of the world left immideately African leaders started giving their speech. Why? Because they know Africans have nothing to offer.

The Simple Truth is that you are not enlighten, so the Africans in the western world are the special ones when we all know many of them are without jobs and surviving to eat, many African marriages in the western world are a mess and a disgrace.

lilwetdick:


When i hear keywords like African, Babaric culture, i know that the writer must be brainwashed to think anything African is nonsense.

yeah Marriage isnt hard but the highest divorce rate are all in the western world

You must be confused, you wrote that Marriage is not for burden sharing but here in Nigeria,marriage is burden sharing that is why most African marriage last long

@bolded is actually one of the many reasons i made it african thing. The westerners can easily divorce when things are no more going well and remarry buh society here doesn't make it easy for us to just divorce our spouses even at the face of death. You see, things change, people change, things don't remain same forever and in such a case where your husband/wife doesn't want you anymore caused by many reasons, instead of staying put forcing yourself to make things work at the detriment of your mental health and peace of mind, it should also be easy to let go without the society pointing fingers and abusing you for doing the right thing. Marriage should be that easy, from the start to the very end. There are many women most african in an abusive marriage buh walking away from it isn't easy for them because of what society will say unlike the westerners that hold nothing against it. When it's bacoming unbearable, they easily walk away and they get another partner before you know it buh you know what's up down here, men hardly marry a lady that gave birth outside wedlock self tagging them after 1, after 2 and all not to talk of someone coming out of a marriage.

So you see why i actually made it African thing?

lilwetdick:


The Simple Truth is that you are not enlighten, so the Africans in the western world are the special ones when we all know many of them are without jobs and surviving to eat, many African marriages in the western world are a mess and a disgrace.

not saying if they are special or not buh try visit the best African country someday and then visit the worst european country and make comparison. Thanks.

And to your last paragraph, what you call a mess is what a marriage should be, you must make your decision to enter marriage without societal pressure and if the marriage failed to work, then you must also be able to walk away without fingers been pointed at you. That's how easy marriage should be, not the rubbish we practise down here.

lilwetdick:


How is African Tradition bleeped up?

so in western world, boys dont fear commitment and marriage?

Oga I Didn't compared it with the west,


am only trying to point out reasons young men gets frustrated with marraige in Africa, thats why alot of young guys lose the girl they love because they cant afford that colossal list and the baggages that comes with it (when her family does any meeting the man would be billed some money, honestly that can be a burden thats even 1 of the many examples dont get me started on her siblings and parents), most girls end up with who is ready finance wise and not with who they wish to settle with.

why in Africa do you keep hearing that phrase,


NA WHO DON CHOP BELLEFULL DE MARRY ?

lets call a spade what it is.