Reinvented:
I am sure op has not told the full story. You said your sister's father is from Uromi and your mother too from Uromi. So, you mean Uromi people were not informed when your mother died? Who buried her? You and your pastor?
Now that your sister is getting married you are asking for Uromi traditions. You mean your mother NEVER mentioned her village name to you? Pls leave all this matter about "nobody cared for us" Let your sister go and meet her family. What I can deduce is that you may not have informed your mother's relatives about her demise. Now it has cropped up for you to meet them. Sorry go to the people and seek advice. Not NL. Noone here will tell you he gave out his sister in marriage without family involvement.
The ESAN people are very traditional and merciless when you trod on that tradition. I am telling you from what I know, not what I read. I am not esan by the way.

perryy:


Leave him . I only pity the sister. No church or prayer can avert the impending calamity.

Greenback:


Good..keep it that way. Greetings to your sister,our sister

perryy:


I don siddon. But u will remember this day. Esan is the only place where they exhume corpse for proper burial when wahala start to dey shelle. I just pity the lady shall. She better have kids before getting married. Hmmmmmm. Esan , forget us when it comes to tradition jare.

AssistntBoyfrnd:


I appreciate ur contribution but meeting the family that never got our back isn't an option. They are not going to reap where they didn't sow.

First, we were very young when our parents died. My dad first, then her dad and then our mum.
Second, we don't know much about family cuz from what we learnt, family were against our mum that she didn't allow their son send them financial assistance.
Third, so called family shaved our mums hair and forced her to drink the the water used to bath her husband corpse in front of us, we were just children and the sight isn't good.

Meeting family isn't an option here, we moved on a very long time ago. I just want someone from around to share how things are done, that's all.

Whatever I will be collecting from the groom, I intend sharing your everyone that has one way or the other contributed to our life.

PS: No family know about about whereabouts for over 15 years now. Likewise we don't know where they stay.

midehi2:

Can't you read, the sister is from Uromi, giving her out must be involved with her family, if not she might have problems in the future, let him forgive and meet any of them, it must not be crowd, just a family member to stand in for her, the guy himself might even have problems sef by eating her dowry when he is not even from esanland

InvertedHammer:

/
Who says you must do it the Uromi way?

You will be inviting unnecessary trouble to yourselves. Do exactly what you did for yourself.
Who is left to judge you?

/

amp01:

Some people don't understand Esan tradition and people, not giving them, their things can cause problem for you.
I lost an aunty because of common salt.

Mrpsly247:
then perhaps u are better of just doing a court wedding.. I'm from Uromi and can categorically tell u that there's no way u can supposedly say u gave away ur sister without her father's people backing... the whole family clan and village network of a thing is a biggie in my place.. I see no absolute way u can escape the family and u better start looking 4 dem now and also start looking 4 money cos those elders are very cunning

izibili44:
Morning,I am coming in on this because i am an uromi man.I have alot to say to you about what you want to do.I have taken upon myself to place your quote or words on the uromi forum where i belong.i await their contribution before i ill add mine.

johnmattew:
the adultery aspect is the most unique aspect of esanland.....most millennial thinks it's a joke.

esanland got weird custom and tradition that esan people don't toy with.

AssistntBoyfrnd:
Dear Uromite/Esan people,

I will be giving out my half sister in marriage. She's uromi while I am yoruba. Same mother but different dad. We both orphans left to fend for ourselves since we were little. No family and we want to stay far away from them cuz they didn't care to take care of us.

I would appreciate if uromi/esan people can give advice on how to go about marriage rites in esan land. Traditional wedding list and the likes.

Thank you all.

funmijoyb:

I gave you a like but you aren't correct. They have no money to waste on family clan that did not support them. They can do it anyway. Forget about Esan people.They haven't broken d legal law

amp01:

Some people don't understand Esan tradition and people, not giving them, their things can cause problem for you.
I lost an aunty because of common salt.

agbalej:
Dear OP, as has been mentioned, pls look for your sister's people and tell them about the wedding. Our list is not expensive, and you are not the proper person to give your sister out in marriage. You are not an Esan man but a Yoruba. Items collected from in-laws must be sent to her kinsmen. Its their entitlement no matter how badly they may have treated you guys... What you guys went tru is heartbreaking... However, the proper thing must be done. You may not take the wedding to uromi, go there, get the list and representatives would be sent (on your bills) to where ever the wedding is taking place to perform the marriage rites and take the marriage items back to the kinsmen. The only way to escape is to simply do "court" wedding. And move on.

Slimmy0:


You are the blind one here. I said he shouldn't give her out according to Essan traditional rites if her family membrrs are not involved. If you must give her out do it the church way or court way or even yoruba way. But not Essan way.

greggng:



This story is just like mine. I am facing same challenge cos we were abandoned just after our dad's death....I find it difficult going to people that don't care about us. So I resolved to marry a white woman....that one there is no more traditional stuff involved...

midehi2:

This is just the best advice, but many people are deceiving the op here, they can't tell him the truth cos they don't know

perryy:
. As an Esan man, if u don't meet family members now, in the future u and your sister MUST surely look for them. Don't argue, just mark my words. Esan no be Yoruba oooo. I told my ex wife about Esan tradition but she waved it off and went into adultery, but at the end , she knew what she saw.

Reinvented:
I am sure op has not told the full story. You said your sister's father is from Uromi and your mother too from Uromi. So, you mean Uromi people were not informed when your mother died? Who buried her? You and your pastor?
Now that your sister is getting married you are asking for Uromi traditions. You mean your mother NEVER mentioned her village name to you? Pls leave all this matter about "nobody cared for us" Let your sister go and meet her family. What I can deduce is that you may not have informed your mother's relatives about her demise. Now it has cropped up for you to meet them. Sorry go to the people and seek advice. Not NL. Noone here will tell you he gave out his sister in marriage without family involvement.
The ESAN people are very traditional and merciless when you trod on that tradition. I am telling you from what I know, not what I read. I am not esan by the way.

AssistntBoyfrnd:


Thank you.

Mama is from uromi too but we dont know what village exactly

miniziter:
That's to tell you that we have no documentation in Nigeria. If not you suppose to have a place where info like this could be gotten from.

amp01:


So when you do court wedding, you don't pay Bride price?

ZAWs:


You never marry your wife finish o
Just an advice

wisdompeters35:
Oga forget about the idea ur family abandon u. In esan land family is everything. A family must Stan for u. And if her family is uromi n are aware sorry my brother no other family can stand for her. I think it is now time for forgiveness or better still the perfect time for her family to perform their rite in her life.