Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife - Family (14)

Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife - Family (14) - Nairaland

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by kay29000(m): 7:24am On Oct 23, 2019

stinflame:
You apologizing after beating her shows you are a good man. Truth be told a man like me will never do it provided that her accusation have been on for a long time.

For goodness sake what did she take u for. A sleep around. Definitely that is a disrespect to me and I will never take that.
Sorry but she have to learn the hard way. Involve her parents into the situation, if she truely wants it to work out she will harken to their advice. And if the parents choice to side their daughter. Am sorry you in for it. And divorce looks like ur bet.
The truth is only a woman can make it work. It's easier for a woman to kick up a conversation with her husband after a quarrel. Using her feminine influence, and the man will gladly join her. And all things are resolved.
But if your wife is hard hearted. It will be something else.

FACTS!

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by Nobody: 7:25am On Oct 23, 2019

webizone:
What about the age gap or her age? How does it affect her behaviour? Spill the beans here make we learn.

I tell u my brother man,if OP would have still been doing all what he was doing to her while dating we won't be having this issues.Such as buying gifts,spending on uncalled for items,In sort just spending money just as we do while dating and most importantly don't put her in a family way.

That is exactly what 80% of girls in that age brackets wants,They are not ready or let me say they don't understand what marriage really means.

They just wants it to be like when you were still dating,they aren't open to the fact that they are to give birth,niece and nephews will be in their house and breach their privacy at least once in a while,also they aren't fully aware they are in a new family.Couple with the fact that the husband is now planning for the future of the kids and hers and so many stuffs.

Girls and boys below that age are the most confuse personalities i have ever seen,as i said earlier 80%.

Not withstanding even some some people above that age still posses such traits but on a lower percentage.
A time will come after marriage Love alone can't keep you but respect will go a long way to.And that is what majority of people above 25 understand deeply.

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by Nobody: 7:25am On Oct 23, 2019

callthefred:
I can bet my life you saw all the signs but still went ahead to marry her. Love is never for marriage but maturity and ability to use the head. Love comes last when you need a life partner and character comes first. If you believe in prayers I'll suggest you pray for her otherwise, you're a man and you need to stand your ground before it becomes too late.

The wisdom in this post is unquantifiable.

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by wirinet(m): 7:25am On Oct 23, 2019

Dpharisee:
I did the same thing, called her family that I was sending her back. They called her and I gave them my condition for continuing with the marriage and the consequences of violating the terms of the agreement, now she control her emotions better.
I even went to court to start divorce proceedings but stopped midway.
I was like a sissy in the marriage for long until I woke up one day and decided to take full control of my house.

Her family were shocked by my sudden change, she attacked me and I gave her serious 'controlled' beating, by controlled beating I mean she pushed me to the wall but physically I was very angry and vibrating but in my heart I was loving her but had to show her my strength as a man and to let her understand how it felt inflicting harm on our maids.
Never beat a woman, but if it's the last option only do it when you are not reacting in anger but pretending to be angry.
She tried to blackmail me into apologizing but I never did, for sometime now she has been abiding by the tenets of the agreement and I try to encourage her, watch her mood changes and how to keep it in check, it has not been easy but it's better now.

Congratulation. I now certify you officially a man
Oya collect your certificate.

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by ojuolu(m): 7:26am On Oct 23, 2019

Mrcashman87:
I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

Op, I felt like reading comments without saying anything but again I realised I really don't know how important it will be to reiterate what many other contributors have written so far.
Please note the following:
1. Your wife lack the right characters of a wife and a mother
2. Your wife do not respect you any longer ( that is if she ever did)
3. Your wife is an abuser- of you, the househelps, and finally your kids
4. Your wife has wrong people around her as friends and associates and she is getting the wrong advices
5. Your wife is very lazy and someone who shy away from her responsibilities as a wife, mother and helpmeet
6. You also started on a wrong note by not correctly correcting her. I know your type, those who want peace at all cost. Please note that #lack of war does not mean presence of peace.#
7. You have tolerated her excesses especially around abuses and laziness/irresponsibility/untidiness for too long.
8. Finally, it is your duty to nurse, nurture, correct, inspire and rebuke, admonish, praise and teach your wife as appropriate and applicable.
9. You wife has no trust (no matter how little) for you.
10. Your children are growing in a wrong environment, wrong inspiration, wrong attitude and may end up imbibing wrong characters.
11. If this continues, you will soon be the subject of her physical abuse. She has abused you psychologically, emotionally and sociologically already.

From all the above, kindly go back to the basis to redefine your marriage of 6 years. (Mine is about 9).
From the word go, your wife must have grown up in an environment that encourages and moulded the characters and attitude she is exhibiting. She must have picked those traits while growing. You need to get to the roots of these trait, start your corrections from that point.
Involving her parents may not be the right thing to do for now especially if you end up discovering that she picked her characters from her childhood experiences at home. You will end up complicating issue.
Please, you need to be decisive in your actions and corrective measures going forward. Let her know every action is consequential. Please #do not lay your hand on her again-no matter your level of anger#
Get a counselor (anyone she respect and will respond to, if any though) who have the spirit of God and old enough to counsel both of you.
Pray for her, for your home, for the kids.
Make character building, modelling and upbringing of the kids your assignment (a very important one) and teach them the fear of God, love for fellow man, respect for others ( no matter their status and estate in life).
If there is no change after all the counseling and steps above, know you have been wrongly yoked and may need to follow other options (seperation- not divorce inclusive), especially where the abuse (emotional and psychological) continue. You did not marry to #burn#.
Finally, do correct in love. I am sorry for your pain bro.

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by MrFly(m): 7:26am On Oct 23, 2019

u have a very big issue that cant be solved except through dissolution which am not encouraging

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by Eluigweoo: 7:27am On Oct 23, 2019

Please, if you are a Christian, brother take her to church to a strong deliverance pastor for deliverance. That's what she needs...and you'll see changes. I'm a woman and I know that almost all women need deliverance before entering into marriage..God help you.. Amen.

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by kay29000(m): 7:28am On Oct 23, 2019

ednut1:
the stories i have read here is making me feel i should not marry and marriage is a scam. with all the problem in life person go add wife wahala join. our mothers and grandmas really tried

Same thoughts I'm having. If you see how happy my married friends get when they finally leave the house to hangout with me for a few hours...you wonder what is really going on.

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by kay29000(m): 7:30am On Oct 23, 2019

pocohantas:
She was calm to you.

Did you ever take out time to find out how she was to every other person? People she considered defenseless and below her? People she wanted nothing from?

No campaign after election, be like na her real character she dey show now.

I saw the part you hit her and you are obviously sorry for it. Considering her history of doing same to kids, isn't she being hypocritical here? People can't take what they dish out sha.

All I see is a woman trying to emotionally blackmail you with silence, make you do her bidding, while she continues breaking heads.

Abeg, do what gives you peace.

I know this ain't a joking matter, but it seems the woman is an expert in breaking heads.

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by capsule(m): 7:30am On Oct 23, 2019

Dpharisee:
I did the same thing, called her family that I was sending her back. They called her and I gave them my condition for continuing with the marriage and the consequences of violating the terms of the agreement, now she control her emotions better.
I even went to court to start divorce proceedings but stopped midway.
I was like a sissy in the marriage for long until I woke up one day and decided to take full control of my house.

Her family were shocked by my sudden change, she attacked me and I gave her serious 'controlled' beating, by controlled beating I mean she pushed me to the wall but physically I was very angry and vibrating but in my heart I was loving her but had to show her my strength as a man and to let her understand how it felt inflicting harm on our maids.
Never beat a woman, but if it's the last option only do it when you are not reacting in anger but pretending to be angry.
She tried to blackmail me into apologizing but I never did, for sometime now she has been abiding by the tenets of the agreement and I try to encourage her, watch her mood changes and how to keep it in check, it has not been easy but it's better now.

This thing you just posted is giving me serious concern presently, babe says she is working on her self. On the other hand, I read that people don't change. Me that can't get anything done once I'm emotionally traumatized.

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by may320: 7:32am On Oct 23, 2019

baby124:
This is not depression. This lady is extremely violent, paranoid and lacks empathy. She’s not depressed. She has other serious mental health problems that OP cannot manage without psychiatric help.

Exactly! @Op your wife has mental issues, get psychiatry help for her, she will pounce on you one day, I hope your life wouldn't be on the lifeline by then. Just know that neither you nor the kids are safe

But I blame this op, you encouraged this behaviour from the beginning and worsen it, if not for the innocent kids, I would have said, lie on the bed you made for yourself. The signs were there from beginning but you neglected them, she was Maltreating other kids you said nothing, you forgot that your own time will come. You deserve to taste the poison you prepared. undecided

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by WriterX(m): 7:32am On Oct 23, 2019

babythug:
The issues have eaten deep into
The marriage and are not likely to be resolved without external counsel.

Itemise clearly what the issues are and call two
Matured people in her family. And have a round table with them. If things don’t get better in six months get ready to split up amicably.

She seems unhappy and resentful of a few things in the marriage. What I sense is having
So many children all at once sent her into some
Depression which she never really got treatment for! It can be overwhelming and not everyone can manage and adapt to married life so easily!

She’s also got temper issues obviously to hit the dependants so severely

I wish you good luck

your opinion got my attention when you talked about her having so many kids at the early stage of the marriage, I honestly feel this is the biggest clue to the problems, marriage life is not easy now talk about been a mother when you should be adapting and learning all about marriage and how best to cope with it, I feel alot of frustration and perceived neglection coming from her and her anger is getting the best of the situation.

there is a big difference between been a wife and a mother as there is between a father and a husband, something I am not sure both parties have fully understood

I don't think she ever adapted to bee a wife in the first place before becoming a mother.

things like this have made me consider family planning and marriage counseling as a major factor for me when I do prepare to get married plus the fact I want to marry a career woman who is willing to take her career to the high.

that woman is severely stressed and depressed if you can't help her I am sorry to say but for your own peace and safety you may have to consider a divorce, violence is one thing I fear the most in cases such as this.

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by Nthrone(m): 7:33am On Oct 23, 2019

WinkWrld:
My situation at some point was kinda similar but not as complicated.
This is what you do.
1. You must tell yourself that you owe no one your happiness. You came alone and you will leave alone.
2. You marriage is supposed to bring forth happiness and children of which you are pleased to make it so, no one should destroy your plans for your kids. You both are responsible for the upkeep of these kids
3. You are the man in the relationship called marriage.
4. Your wife should compliment u and not disorganize u.
5. Your love for the family should not be misunderstood for weakness.
6. Do the best to protect your marriage but dont sacrifice your life for it. The moment u quench another dude will slide in.
7. Do not expect everything to be as planned, obstacles must exist, but u have to be tough to jump over
8. Plan for your older age as your wife attitude shows no love for u when old age sickness comes.
9. Communicate with your kids and love them equally. Teach them to love both urself and their mum
10. Keep your family issues to urself.

Mr man, you are just writing quotes, just quotes, you have not proffered any pragmatic solution, what he want to hear is should he divorce or not and then why, all this stuff you just quoted he already know, a married man ain't a novice.

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by kay29000(m): 7:33am On Oct 23, 2019

liberalchick:
I am sorry I know you mean well but depression doesn’t make you a violent person. I have worked with depressed people and I have been depressed myself and depressed people don’t maim children. She is a violent person simple. In fact when you’re depressed you withdraw not attack.

Op, when violence enters a marriage/relationship then a line has been crossed and it’s no longer healthy. Honestly, I am not optimistic about the future of that marriage. You should try a marriage counselor but I am sorry I am not hopeful, people rarely change. I agree with pocohantas observe how your girlfriend/boyfriend act around people that she/he isn’t going to gain anything from/or trying to impress that’s her/his true character.

WORD!

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by kay29000(m): 7:35am On Oct 23, 2019

egopersonified:
If your wife has no respect for you to this extent, if you like, call her whole village and the king, she will only respect them during that meeting, once they leave, she will continue being the tyrant that she is. Forget that depression after child birth talk, was she also depressed before the kids came that she couldn't help out around the house?

Sorry for all the troubles she has put you through. You sound emotionally drained. Pele.

On behalf of the OP, I thank you for this comment.

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by Rhaspody(m): 7:35am On Oct 23, 2019

If you love her, let her go. Let her know that you can't continue living like this.. chase her out of the house.

If na me, children or not na divorce straight..

That small anger in her is the first sign of trouble you overlooked..

Maybe this is why celebrity marriages doesn't last.

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by Beedude(m): 7:36am On Oct 23, 2019

U need to read 48 laws of power to build ur manipulation skills as well. U are too nice for such woman. I'm married and not as nice as u are, for every situation comes different actions from me. I have never beaten my wife but I learn how to put her in a good place. I also have similar situation of a house help sometimes last year, immediately I addressed it with my wife's family and told them I will never employ anyone to help her with chores. She has been begging since the beginning of this year for a house help, but it will never happen.
But what I find hard to understand about u and ur wife is who foot the house bills, child's education and many others, cos for ur woman to grow such wings and still feel she can ride over u like a donkey is crazy. Whichever way it is, u really need to build on ur confidence and manipulation skills. Don't ever be a weakling to a woman even if she get money pass Folorunsho Alakija. Lass lass u will be aiit, call a meeting between ur parents, they should be aware of everything before u make your final decision

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by kay29000(m): 7:38am On Oct 23, 2019

Fountainofyouth:
I only blame you for apologising when you beat her, you suppose beat her back to back so that she'll know how it feels injuring other people's children to the extent of pool of blood and rushing to hospital, very inhumane somebody, and she has children oo, na her type dey cause havoc if anybody so much as touch her own kids, infact divorce her b4 she pushes you to suicide or murder, nonsense

Modified; I never finish she is a narcissist and a passive aggressive human, how would somebody be keeping malice with the husband, for months? See the way she confuse your brain accusing you wrongly just to prove she's right, very manipulative irritant, na her type dey make good men turn to bad aśshole, rubbish

EXACTLY! I wish she is on Nairaland and gets to read this thread.

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by Nobody: 7:39am On Oct 23, 2019

Octopusssy:
Don't you have anything to contribute, sir? I would love to pick your brains.

I wonder what they were doing during their four years of courtship. Four years is more than enough to anticipate, ready structures and goto proactive measures to handle most of this their self created pettiness.

How can they be deboin for 6 months and feel surprised when the seed takes root? Marriage nor be joke and when you plunge in unprepared, you create more chaos that could consume not just the creators but the larger society will feel its scourge long after the originators are gone.

It's gotten physical and the man is now a Pedophile in the eyes of the wife. It's time to hit the circuit breaker and attempt a reset before lives are lost.

He can book a holiday for the wife far away where she has always wished to go and let her find herself then reach her subjective conclusion on what next.

The man should man up, update and surround himself with the right tools and materials to turn this chaos around.

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by Osanoghodua1: 7:39am On Oct 23, 2019

Sorry for the many things you have bear All these years. Divorce is not an option as a Christian but pray about your marriage, take it before God and seek your pastor's counsel although an evil woman doesn't change save God changes her. If you have brothers or parents consider sending your children over to them for a while maybe 5yrs plan and separate from her for some time maybe 2years and for now watch your food and watch out for any possible infidelity on her part. God give you wisdom. God knows me.

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by kay29000(m): 7:42am On Oct 23, 2019

Breaststroke:
@ OP,

Yinmu! You have tried abeg, I cannot stand a messy environment e dey do me like say I wan run mad.

The part of your story wey sweet me nah the part where you beat am, that's justice for all the BS you and the domestic helps and your niece suffered.

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by kay29000(m): 7:42am On Oct 23, 2019

Theyoungmatron:
Oga, Give me your address lemme arrange boys to beat the hell out of her. You should not soil your hands so that you will not be tagged a wife beater. Just 2k and a bottle of fake Jack Daniel will do.

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by kings2079(m): 7:43am On Oct 23, 2019

big bros am not married yet, but if I eventually married this kind of woman, here is how I will solve the problem: do not divorce her, you are blessed already with 3 kids. just ignore her attitude and character; you need to live like a single father, don't pay attention to her for now, just do the right things, take care of the kids, do house chores, you will need humility and don't cheat on her. just focus on your work and kids. be happy and complete without her, and always put her in prayer. Be kind to her, just let her be for now. She will eventually come back to her senses. it's just time it will take. just wait for the spell to clear.

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by Jamestown123: 7:47am On Oct 23, 2019

Officialgarri:
Tell her you have made up your mind to marry a younger wife. Eat outside, come home late. I hope she will begin to use her senses

Sorry to say this, but a woman like that can never have sense. If u eat and sleep outside the matter will get worse.

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by Israflor(m): 7:47am On Oct 23, 2019

She does not have strength to do domestic works but very strong to engage in domestic violence, what a wasted generation?!

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by Nobody: 7:48am On Oct 23, 2019

stinflame:
You apologizing after beating her shows you are a good man. Truth be told a man like me will never do it provided that her accusation have been on for a long time.

For goodness sake what did she take u for. A sleep around. Definitely that is a disrespect to me and I will never take that.
Sorry but she have to learn the hard way. Involve her parents into the situation, if she truely wants it to work out she will harken to their advice. And if the parents choice to side their daughter. Am sorry you in for it. And divorce looks like ur bet.
The truth is only a woman can make it work. It's easier for a woman to kick up a conversation with her husband after a quarrel. Using her feminine influence, and the man will gladly join her. And all things are resolved.
But if your wife is hard hearted. It will be something else.

@ the bolded is generally a lie, but in this case, it is quite up to her. This actually seems like a case of post partum depression left untreated.

Children put a strain on the marriage. But your wife has anger issues, she is also a violent and abusive person. For her to beat innocent children is just plain wrong. Both of you need marital counseling from elders or licensed therapist.

But i would also like to hear her side of the story.

Op,please pray for her and watch war room.

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by radna2: 7:48am On Oct 23, 2019

Officialgarri:
Tell her you have made up your mind to marry a younger wife. Eat outside, come home late. I hope she will begin to use her senses

she might poison you if you if you do that.

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by Nobody: 7:49am On Oct 23, 2019

kings2079:
big bros am not married yet, but if I eventually married this kind of woman, here is how I will solve the problem: do not divorce her, you are blessed already with 3 kids. just ignore her attitude and character; you need to live like a single father, don't pay attention to her for now, just do the right things, take care of the kids, do house chores, you will need humility and don't cheat on her. just focus on your work and kids. be happy and complete without her, and always put her in prayer. Be kind to her, just let her be for now. She will eventually come back to her senses. it's just time it will take. just wait for the spell to clear.

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by Nobody: 7:49am On Oct 23, 2019

Guest007:
What does he want from us? He picked a 'small' girl and gave her 3 children in 1 year. I can't can baby

What! He went for a village smallie? Hattrick in 1 calendar year. That's a new record

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by praz001(m): 7:50am On Oct 23, 2019

clems88:
I guess she was one of those dirty and lazy girls that does nothung at home.
You dated her and knew she had to dirty traits but you were like 'I'll change her' .
Now shez showing you pepper. .
You will soon be surprised to find out she's having an affair already with another man.

About this dirtiness and inability to cook, av got a lady flat mate , her dirtiness is beyound comprehension , so lazy, doesn't cook , she could stay in her room for 2 months without sweeping, her toilet is also swearing for her because of the way she has left it which makes cockroaches creep into my room. .
I just dey pity the man wey go marry her. She go dress like miss world , put make up full face but when her house nna mess.
God EPP us oo

you've just nailed it bro.....
Love is really very stupid and blind but marriage will be the healer ( eye opener)...

singles should always look beyond facial beauty and test his / her spouse character. Check and balance you will surely see and pointer and know where your marriage will be headed for at last no matter how pretensive either partner are.

My advice...
Firstly pray, then call her for a private discussion. Do not use abusive words or blame her.

Remind her of when you guys just started how lovely it was and let her know you are willing to make the marriage work and plead with her as in begg am wella"...

Tell her it time to build you home and you both can learn and do the home core together I believe it will work.....

God hate DIVORCE don't even contemplate. it's suicidal and evil. If you will part ways, you assume you will remain like that.

GOD BLESS YOU..
GOD WILL CHANGE HER FOR GOOD...

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Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by nuelyoyo(m): 7:51am On Oct 23, 2019

Mrcashman87:
No I haven’t involved anyone from both of our families because I don’t like involving a third party in our marriage but now that I have had enough of her , I’m thinking about calling her parents for a meeting soon

you should have been telling her family since her bad habit became a reoccurrence. Whatever drastic move you make now, you would have no one to understand why you made such move.

Re: Sometimes I Regret Marrying My Wife by DonroxyII: 7:52am On Oct 23, 2019*

Mrcashman87:
I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

You already saw the handwriting on the wall at the beginning and you still decide to tag along .... I can't withstand a violent woman because two things are involved it is either she turned you to a beast like her or she wound/kills you one day !!

If you don't do the needful, this girl will kill you one day and never in your life raise your hand against a violent women !!

Take her out .... Obtain leave (Annual leave) from your place of work and book a hotel out of Lagos maybe Abuja if you have the financial capacity ...

Just you and her for a week , Talk sense to her head calmly and with tears .... show her how much you love her , break all her emotional barriers and let her realise how much you regret hurting her (Ya blaspheme yaself) .... Apologise for all sorrows you have caused her (Na lie) .... Tell her how deeply hurt you too have been ... how much you have disconnected from her due to this , this, that and these .....

let her realise the goals you have for your family, how you want your kids to be raised, ask her for her opinion and the objective can sync between you and her .....

Reverse Psychology works well for me !!

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