You shouldn't have marry her in the first place! The Bible even made us to understand that "if the foundation is faulty what can the righteous do" From your courtship you have detect some "see caution" but you end up marrying her. As many have said you need to inform your pastor, her parents, her people about her behavior before she eventually kills you in future

Oyindidi:
It is well

No it is not well, this one is Big

Bro you have a lot of options.
1. Communication.
Talk to your wife. Find out what she wants and why she acts like that.

2. Counseling.

3. Let her parents know.

4. If all else fails, I hope u guys don't divorce.


BTW OP hope no be say u cheated on her and she found out without u knowing? Cos there must be a reason she keeps on accusing u of sleeping with girls.

Genqq:
Sometimes? Dude you should regret that sham of a marriage ALL the time.

Moreso, that dirty thing you call a wife should be in jail for the ABUSE she inflicted on those little CHILDREN. You are also an enabler of child abuse by refusing to report her to relevant authorities.

Forget these women citing "depression" etc.. sometimes a badly behaved woman is simply a badly behaved woman and should be treated accordingly.

I can't stand simps who employ KIDS for their LAZY wives in the guise of "housemaids" and further turn a blind eye to the maltreatment of these innocent maids

You and that w!tch must be jailed.

Best comment. Exactly my thought when I read the story. She should be reported to the authorities. She's evil...a witch. If I had that kind of woman as a neighbour, honestly she would regret life cos I'll make her life miserable for what she did to those innocent children.

My guy the problem is Love and fear of God.
This two things are seriously lacking in the marriage, greatly from your wife.

She is having a serious pain of missing somebody she could have married and wonder what she is doing in your house. This feeling in women is always terrific and leads to violence and depression.

Imagine what will make a woman, a mother of little kids, a wife stay outside her home after 10pm every day. The love has totally gone. She is just managing you for the mean time, time will come when she will realise herself and reset the brain. Put all in prayers because you can not manage divorce, from your write-up, your are emotional and full of family love.

Somebody in her life needs to go for you to come in. It might be painful but that is the truth. Every women has who gives her joy. Find out hers.

Mrcashman87:
I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

Too bad a situation you've found yourself, it seems to me your wife has some form of lazy traits and tends to use it to her advantage.imagine leaving the house unkempt because of pregnancy? Well the question is do you love your wife? Can you tolerate her excesses while working on making her a better person? Love I believe can change anybody, as a matter of fact, love is a weapon that if we'll harnessed can break the hardest hearts, my Bible tells me so. Every union has its wilderness experience,this might just be yours. Go through it and win. Divorce will and can never be the solution.

Mrcashman87:
I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

If what you narrated is true, you're a good man.

May God deliver you from this woman, in fact may God not make us(the unmarried ones) fall for this type of woman.

Unfortunately I can't advice you. I'm sure some married folks here will. But if it's me, I swear I'm done with her.

Center can not hold in that marriage again, ur wife is animal in human flesh.

Officialgarri:
Tell her you have made up your mind to marry a younger wife. Eat outside, come home late. I hope she will begin to use her senses

you're right

I think you guys should give each other space till things cool off

Too much comfort dey make human misbehave at times.

Officialgarri:
Tell her you have made up your mind to marry a younger wife. Eat outside, come home late. I hope she will begin to use her senses

I won't advise he goes ahead with this idea.a wife that picks at anything when angry can do anything to harm him if he should tell her he wants to marry a second wife

Well,i suggest that you should let her be,separate with her not divorce ooo for sometime,if she is dating another man,let her do it very well,until she realizes how important you are,if she does,then you people can come back together,be very careful before you do something you do not want to do,staying together for now is not the best,the love is no longer there.

You’re lucky you’re still alive. You better bundle that peace of shit you call wife out of your house before she poisons you. A very wicked, evil, manipulative and narcissistic, heartless demon that calls herself woman/wife.

Officialgarri:
Tell her you have made up your mind to marry a younger wife. Eat outside, come home late. I hope she will begin to use her senses

My thoughts too

Op, I'm very sure noticed some of these traits she's exhibiting during courtship but you ignored them and went on to marry her. You said she was good at doing chores but it's obvious now that it was a decoy so you would marry her.
I'm sorry to say this but your wife is a wicked, vindictive and dirty person. I don't think she's depressed or has any mental issue as some people have posited.
Yes, depression has different effects which includes the person being violent but in your wife's case she's violent towards people who do not mean anything to her but calm, peaceful and all loving to her own family members, which kind selective depression abi violence be dt?. You guys have not been in talking terms for four months and she starves of you sex, even a mentally challenged women wey dey roam the streets want sex and some people say she(ur wife)dey depressed.

Anyways, I don't pity you and this because you noticed some of these traits of hers during courtship but you still went ahead to marry hoping she would change forgetting that, old habit die hard so do what you think is best for everyone. Personally, I think people don't change so I don't give room for management, let me manage this person, no.. My only problem with you is that you allowed your wife unleash to hell on innocent kids and you did absolutely nothing, the only time you took action was because she accused of laying with your nieces not because of the maltreatment she dished out to one of them. Both of you should be arrested and charged with physical assault.



As for my neighbour, I'm patiently waiting for her to injure her maid again. All she does is to beat the poor girl like it gives her orgasm, bark from morning to night. I don relocate from my bedroom to another room because of her barking.

pocohantas:
She was calm to you.

Did you ever take out time to find out how she was to every other person? People she considered defenseless and below her? People she wanted nothing from?

No campaign after election, be like na her real character she dey show now.

I saw the part you hit her and you are obviously sorry for it. Considering her history of doing same to kids, isn't she being hypocritical here? People can't take what they dish out sha.

All I see is a woman trying to emotionally blackmail you with silence, make you do her bidding, while she continues breaking heads.

Abeg, do what gives you peace.

God bless you for this insightful comment .. This is a brief narration of my experience in marriage .

Mrcashman87:
I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

IF YOU WANT TO LIVE LONG? EXPECT ANYTHING FROM WOMAN

Mrcashman87:
Thanks to all of you that have replied, made useful comments ,suggestions and some good advice. I am 99% sure that my wife is not having an affair. I trust her with my life and she has no Male friends or even contact with any men ( that I know of anyway). She also doesn't seem that interested in other men.

Does your wife, have a younger sister available for dating or marriage? I'm interested if she has same traits as hers.

I admire violence in women. People would find my opinion crazy and unpopular, but my deep knowledge of evolutionary biology made me know that they are more protective and loyal in marriage even though they are despicable to other people. They also give birth to kids with good genes.

You are lucky!

Officialgarri:
Tell her you have made up your mind to marry a younger wife. Eat outside, come home late. I hope she will begin to use her senses

Listen to the above advise...use 'reverse' psychology on her. In addition, occasionally do weekend getaways, too. I am positive her brain will start to reset. She's got some personal past issues but making her household to be at the receiving end is unwise and outright wickedness.

When she start to change for good and probably begging ensure you get to know the reason for her behaviour. She's probably had horrible secrets/experience that she is hiding from you. Until she let it out. She will possibly get worse.
If there no improvement, abandon her... I know it not easy, but remember, you have just one life, bro. Life is too short to live it in bitterness.

pocohantas:
She was calm to you.

Did you ever take out time to find out how she was to every other person? People she considered defenseless and below her? People she wanted nothing from?

No campaign after election, be like na her real character she dey show now.

I saw the part you hit her and you are obviously sorry for it. Considering her history of doing same to kids, isn't she being hypocritical here? People can't take what they dish out sha.

All I see is a woman trying to emotionally blackmail you with silence, make you do her bidding, while she continues breaking heads.

Abeg, do what gives you peace.

Case closed.

So no one noticed that the woman is not happy.She needs something and shes not getting it.
I can see true love missing in this relationship.There are ways you've been treating/pampering her before and immediately after marriage that you no longer do.
Definitely she has added weight,she dont like it and you dont like it either.It clearly shows shes depressed and she couldn't find happiness in whatever she does presently.
You guys need to sit and talk,show her real love despite her excesses,she's your wife and I know you saw some qualities in her before you married her.
Sincerely you can resolve this,you can change many things about her,there is a reason why you are her husband.
Forget the fact that you get her house-help,open a shop for her and so on.She needs genuine love from you,sit her down in front of a Councillor and you will be surprised with what she will say.

If this couldn't resolve the issues,maybe you should consider separation for a while
Best Regards

Imagine children being raised by unkept mother, how dirty, disgusting and unkept they will grow up to be! Leaving little kids with nanny all in the name of a busy wife is totally unacceptable. Its uncalled for and totally out of line. The woman is a kind of woman we singles should pray against. God deliver us from ingrates girls that wont appreciate and honor their homes no matter what....

pocohantas:
She was calm to you.

Did you ever take out time to find out how she was to every other person? People she considered defenseless and below her? People she wanted nothing from?

No campaign after election, be like na her real character she dey show now.

I saw the part you hit her and you are obviously sorry for it. Considering her history of doing same to kids, isn't she being hypocritical here? People can't take what they dish out sha.

All I see is a woman trying to emotionally blackmail you with silence, make you do her bidding, while she continues breaking heads.

Abeg, do what gives you peace.

This op is my conclusion. Better put your foot down and tell her no more. If you come back home and the house is still dirty, you close the shop.

DonroxyII:
I have a girl that my instinct is telling me will be exactly like this .... Though she has the Charisma to cover the negative sides but Red flag is red for me .... Once I see Red flag I japa unless there are other Juicies enough to cover the redness and it ain't beyond my management!!


A beast woman will either turn you to a beast like her or Hurt you till depression set in !!

Same here bro
But I still dey observe.
Abeg shine your eyes wella o

All these stories we're reading sef dey make person fear.

She can't be � but make sure the ones she's failing or failed in are things you can manage or endure. Otherwise, just let her go.

May God help us.

Hmm.

stinflame:


I tell u my brother man,if OP would have still been doing all what he was doing to her while dating we won't be having this issues.Such as buying gifts,spending on uncalled for items,In sort just spending money just as we do while dating and most importantly don't put her in a family way.

That is exactly what 80% of girls in that age brackets wants,They are not ready or let me say they don't understand what marriage really means.

They just wants it to be like when you were still dating,they aren't open to the fact that they are to give birth,niece and nephews will be in their house and breach their privacy at least once in a while,also they aren't fully aware they are in a new family.Couple with the fact that the husband is now planning for the future of the kids and hers and so many stuffs.

Girls and boys below that age are the most confuse personalities i have ever seen,as i said earlier 80%.

Not withstanding even some some people above that age still posses such traits but on a lower percentage.
A time will come after marriage Love alone can't keep you but respect will go a long way to.And that is what majority of people above 25 understand deeply.

Bro, so he not doing those things he used to do when they were dating is the reason she can't tidy up the house, cook for her children,beat up her maids and the husband's niece? I really don't understand your line of argument.
At least she go clean house wey she dey live inside.

I have read some answers and no one is telling you to bring God into the matter. What you need to do is give your life to Christ, live a holy life and righteous life and watch your family get transformed by the ONE who instituted the family.

ednut1:
the stories i have read here is making me feel i should not marry and marriage is a scam. with all the problem in life person go add wife wahala join. our mothers and grandmas really tried

Here in this part of the world, truly, marriage is a very big SCAM.
That's the fact Bro.

Bro, it's better you divorce her if you really care for your dare life. And please don't let the EVIL woman lead you to early grave because life has no duplicate... your children remain yours even after divorcing her. Don't be surprised she be might having an extra marital affairs. She's very dangerous to live with.

Stop being senseless please

Iziquiel:

Bro, so he not doing those things he used to do when they were dating is the reason she can't tidy up the house, cook for her children,beat up her maids and the husband's niece? I really don't understand your line of argument.
At least she go clean house wey she dey live inside.

Mrcashman87:
I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

I don't intend to insult your wife, she is just being stubborn and wicked, she has no remorse and won't change unless you apply a drastic measure

You have tried so much for her and you can't come and kill yourself

Just get a side chick and be happy with your self but inform that you are married but can't find happiness at home

If along the line you find more happiness with your side chick, settle down with her.

Some women can snuff life out of aan delebrately


I don't care how people will react to my post, but your happiness is my concern