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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Grateful heart (1177 Views)
As This Year Is Coming To An End, What Are You Grateful For? / Grateful Heart / Grateful heart (2) (3) (4)
Grateful heart by union123(m): 9:15am On Oct 23, 2019 |
Hello 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Grateful heart by Omojudy: 1:57pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
I was once in your shoes. My story is all around Nairaland. Money and trying to conceive are not friends. Be wiser with your money so God forbid you don’t get divorced penniless. Then most importantly pray. It does work wonders. If you don’t mind PM me. Other lessons I could share with you privately that I haven’t shared on Nairaland yet. Hugs Sis. 2 Likes |
Re: Grateful heart by yeyeosoronga: 2:15pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
I really wish you guys the best, but your instincts are probably right and your husband is trying to leave the marriage. Holding unto the money he gave to your business isn't going to fix the marriage either. What I would advice is for you to also write a list of all the money he owes you, and subtract it from the one he lent you, and then give him his balance. That way, nobody is owing anybody and you can separate if you both decide to. Keep your tbills money to yourself. Not all marriages can survive the pressure of infertility... Perhaps you could speak to him and ask him the way forward, encourage him to speak his mind no matter how painful it will be to you. This is so your mind can be prepared for any eventualities. Even if he denies planning to leave you, stick with your gut instincts. You didn't feel this way1 year ago. There are signs you're seeing making you feel like that now. 4 Likes |
Re: Grateful heart by Omojudy: 2:18pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
yeyeosoronga:Hmm. Recently my husband tried this deduction stunt with me, it wasn’t funny! |
Re: Grateful heart by yeyeosoronga: 2:26pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
Omojudy: This one is Nigeria, and I'm sure they don't consider marital property or debt as jointly owned. Sad but true. OP is lucky as she seems to have something doing fetching her money, hence isn't dependent on the husband. If they can part amicably with no one feeling cheated especially in terms of finances, the better. Time and effort lost cannot be quantified so everyone will have to bear the pain of that. 1 Like |
Re: Grateful heart by Omojudy: 2:44pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
yeyeosoronga:That’s the problem. Once she follows his footstep to ask for her money from him too, he may play the guilt card of “so you have someone outside no wonder.....etc” and such narcissistic talks 1 Like |
Re: Grateful heart by LilMissFavvy(f): 2:53pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
You should have taken time to type your post. Only the first and second paragraphs are comprehensible. If you have handled it medically without results, and people say your mum is behind it, then approach it spiritually. I believe in personal prayers more than in pastors, but if personal prayers does not work for you..... search for a good pastor. As for your finances.....pls be wise! 5 Likes |
Re: Grateful heart by Nobody: 2:54pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
But I really don't see any issues in surrogacy. It's simply renting a womb to carry my baby. @Op Cook and feed motherless children. Simply do with with your heart. Such actions open doors and I'm sure you will testify. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Grateful heart by olabrinks(f): 4:31pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
Honestly. Adoption is one of the easiest way to carry your own child. My aunt was having infertility issues for 10 years, it wasn’t until they adopted that she was just able to carry her own child. So so many stories like that. Husband is just a nasty man. AwkaetitiBabe: 1 Like |
Re: Grateful heart by ifyalways(f): 4:39pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
You have to decide on what you want in life : Stay married miserably to yourself in that Or pursue your personal happiness. I adopted. I know a handful of close relatives and friends that adopted for different reasons. Life is YOLO and i chose and will re-chose my personal happiness over anything. If staying in that marriage to cry and fast for a child and attention is what will keep you happy, good luck with that. The man has picked his own personal happiness while you soak your sheets in tears. If i ever come back to this life ,fvck pregnancy/childbirth/breastfeeding shyte, im keeping my body selense and going straight to adopt. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Grateful heart by Omojudy: 5:12pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
ifyalways:Hahaha. The last paragraph got me. |
Re: Grateful heart by baby124: 5:31pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
Sorry OP, I have never been in your shoes and I cannot claim to understand what you are going through. However, have you been to a doctor and has the doctor told you what the issue is? Is it from him or you? 2 Likes |
Re: Grateful heart by Nobody: 6:34pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
May God answer your prayers soon, Union123. |
Re: Grateful heart by Fountainofyouth(f): 8:10pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
Sorry for your predicament, it isn't easy, so many "if and when" before entering marriage nawa, I nor dey marry. 2 Likes |
Re: Grateful heart by Motirayo2018(f): 8:40pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
union123: You will testify insha Allah. You will carry your own children and your home will be filled with happiness 3 Likes |
Re: Grateful heart by bukatyne(f): 9:08pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
yeyeosoronga: @union123 The above is very on point. We have guts and instincts for a reason. The journey of TTC is not funny especially for couple who are married just because it is the phase of their lives or all they need are kids. Unfortunately, if your husband is not with you on this journey, there is not much you can do and from the OP, it seems your husband is tilting towards his family's wishes. At this stage, you need to decide what you really want: 1. Would you be fine with a second wife? His family has probably gotten one as we speak. Can you cope with the pressure? If second wife, would you leave together or alone? 2. Would you walk away from the marriage? If yes, how old are you? Are you fine with the fact that you might not get another spouse or you would most likely be a step mom? A man with kids prior will be more comfy marrying a divorcee without one. A single man would want his own kids. 3. If you walk away, are you fine with being single and adopting? Or surrogacy? Are you fine with single motherhood? Do you have the resources (time, finances, emotions, socials) to pull it off? Have you both established that YOU are the problem / only problem? Is your husband OK? I have seen cases where the man has the issues and the wife was put in immense pressure and sent packing. You also need to start keeping your finances separately. You don't want to lose out on all fronts. God will grant your heart desires. Amen 2 Likes |
Re: Grateful heart by crackhaus: 9:20pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
So according to the doctors, who is the problem from? This information is conspicuously missing from your essay. |
Re: Grateful heart by sisisioge: 11:20pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
It is well baby girl...you shall be a mother of nations! With or without this your husband ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Grateful heart by thorpido(m): 11:37pm On Oct 23, 2019 |
crackhaus:That should have been well elaborated.Deal with the issue first and if possible,let some key family members know. Forget or turn deaf ears to all that she has taken her somewhere talk. Keep your money well, don't just throw it away in the name of my hubby and I. I wish you the best as you TTC. |
Re: Grateful heart by Motirayo2018(f): 1:27am On Oct 24, 2019 |
Motirayo2018: The pain of marriage without a child is unbearable May Almighty Allah(swt) gladdens all TTC with blessed child |
Re: Grateful heart by crackhaus: 6:26am On Oct 24, 2019 |
thorpido:Exactly. |
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