My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... - Family (13)

My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... - Family (13) - Nairaland

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Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Chuxautos: 6:24pm On Oct 27, 2019

johnmba:
Fellow NL . Am bringing this issue to seek advice.

I come from a family of 7, we are all graduates except the first son who is into business. The second son is very very rich,he works with a big multinational company.

When we were growing up he hardly play with us the younger ones but he was close to the first son. But he totally changed after he got married 15years ago. Though our parents did not initially support his marriage because of the girls background (her father died and the mum went back to her house with the daughter) and her character too. My brother got angry and said nobody should visit him or ask him for money. He used to help us in school.

Later my parents accepted and gave their support but since then my brothers attitude towards us really changed. Each time I visit him , he does not give me money in the presence of the wife. Also he usually give me money to go and eat outside because she hardly cook(maybe cos of the initial rejection)

The way he talks to the first son is degrading and he hardly pick our calls. The first son business is not moving at all but he does not care though he has given him money and car some years back and they don't talk to each other again. On several occasions people have told the third son why his brother refused to help his family. They said he helps people alot in the multinational company and he is a very nice guy.

Please what do we do? I don't want this separation to continue till death.. Our children are watching and I want us to relate as brothers and sisters.

Nb.
Nobody is calling him to ask for money. Am an engineer but works in a hospital. All we want is that brotherly love. Since I finished school I have not asked him for money likewise some of my siblings.

How do we bring him back

Free am, soon hand go meet am and he will have no one or where else to go than family. Oyi a na o, wene a na Zi o x3.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Bbbwings: 6:36pm On Oct 27, 2019

kazyhm:
So deep. I can relate perfectly

If you're in the brother's shoe, you ll understand its not actually the responsibility but the reciprocating treatment from siblings/parent

They watch you struggle all the way up and while you are doing that, you're still very much emotional about their status; you help them and all. In fact, your siblings are your priority prior to when you find love........

Along the line, everyone are happy, some of them got an apartment, got married and do some normal basic stuff of life.....you were available helping and supporting them.....they are very proud of you............while you struggling to meet up with work and secure your career and future.........but then you found love and everything changed.

They started having opinion for whatever reasons about how she not good for you and all......everyone got the perfect woman except you...
...but then you remain steadfast......but deep down you realize again that you're so empty and lonely.....no support, you plan and executes everything alone......no support, no assistance from anywhere....then you look back and understand that it has been like that from the beginning...........and yet they couldn't see things from your perspective......all you see is competition amongst siblings of who got what and what from you........tales of debts and all.

You lost control of your finances......no one calls to check on your well being without ending it with something that has to do with money.......most times you actually need their jokes and motivation but no.......after the work stress and looking for strategies on how to deliver a task.......you get a call from one of your relatives that want to change school for his kids or those that want to buy aso ebi.....while you're looking for money to attend a workshop to learn something new about your work.......then you start looking for ways to solve your problem......and cutting people off is a major one.

Hmm
Be strong brother

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by iammiracle1(m): 6:46pm On Oct 27, 2019*

Eze2000:
We have the same problem. My only uncle is a millionaire in the USA but never helped my father (who traied him) or his kids. We found our way ourselves.

I am waiting for him to die so I can block his burial on our ancestral land. I am the first son of a first son. I own it all

Terrible mentality, what of if you die ist? Let go and become way big yourself that you don't have to bank on ancestral land to pepper" a perceived enemy.

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Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Midas01: 6:52pm On Oct 27, 2019

Your father had so much sense for him to instill that into you guys.

I don't get why a sibling will neglect his fellow sibling. God forbid.

I can do anything for my bro/sis.

madridguy:
Is your mum still alive?

I keep laughing at people saying the OP should leave his brother alone and work for himself.

To me, in life we all need someone to lean on to climb our own ladder. A good example is Linda Ikeji, may God continue to bless her. I believe she hustle her way alone, but immediately she got to the top she never neglected her siblings. God bless her more.

I'm sure we all have different background and upbringing but none of my siblings can do this. We have community training and my father of blessed memory used to ring it to our ears before he passed on. He used to say, i pray you all get to the top, but you all cannot get there at once, but whoever get there first must make sure he/she help others. This is our motor in my own family.

3 Likes

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Eze2000(m): 7:11pm On Oct 27, 2019*

When they say Nigerian youths are useless, rude and can't read, the same Nigerian youths think we mature adults are insulting them. Just look at these two talking trash to me when they don't have all the information about my family or me. Mynd44 how can people ever be expected to answer a question honestly with dedicated trolls like these running wild on this website?

Maldini213:
Hahahaha
You bleeping coward
If you got balls

Do it when he's still alive

Not to a dead body

When you are greatly offended in life you have 2 choices.

1. Fight for yourself or
2. Let God fight for you.

In fighting for yourslef you can do so physically or with the aid of evil powers i.e witches and native doctors. I chose number 2 above and that means waiting for God to deal with him. And hey, before you start trolling me about waiting in vain let me inform you that the multi-millionaire of yesterday is now finding money difficult today, has already shut down 3 business and sold one of his 3 cars in Nigeria.

God may be slow in action but never fails. I chose him.

Enculer:
Lazy man. Typical poor mentality. He owes you nothing.

My father was a young captain in the Biafran war. He fought in war fronts until Canada started helping Biafra by supplying it food and so translators of French to Igbo were needed. That was how my dad, an Igbo man who spoke French fluently, got promoted to Captain and given an administrative job. After the war, one of the white men he worked with took him to Canada. My dad was in Canada when his only brother was jailed for rape in the village in Nigeria and no one among the illiterate villagers could help because it was a policeman's daughter he allegedly raped and the guy jailed him even while the case was yet to get to court. My father returned to carry that case so his brother would not go to jail and damage his life. Unfortunately, in his haste, he came back without the right papers and could not return.
My father made huge sacrifices that turned his only brother from a primary school dropout selling acara in an Igbo village to a highly qualified secondary school teacher. Some of those sacrifices world have sent my dad to jail if caught. For example, when this same secondary school teacher got a chance to go to America he could not pass the English exam. Guess who took it for him? Before that guess who forged his papers with govt stamp so he could go to Teachers Training College after failing the exam?

My dad was a man who did not build houses or buy cars in his main years but spent all he had on his brother first, then his own kids later in life. The family agreement was my Uncle would train me in the USA and I train my younger ones. My dad fell seriously ill just after I left secondary school and it lasted for 15 years. His brother did one of the most famous vanishing acts you will ever see till my dad died five years ago. During this time, i was told to get ready to go to the USA for studies 3 times only for it to be called off.

After my dad died without seeing his brother, I blocked the man in my heart for life. I've turned down more pacifying gifts in dollars within the last five years than both of you trolls will ever see in your life. My rejection carried spiritual consequences due to the circumstance and so my uncle, in desperation offered one of his cash gifts to a struggling younger brother of mine. He accepted and that was how he found the huge capital needed to become a money exchanger and bitcoin trader. He's a millionaire now and doesn't bother with Nairaland again where he learnt the trade.

So how about me. I'm a self-taught writer and author waiting to answer my calling as a man of God in an international church. I have to answer that calling because not answering it since it first came 20 years ago has affected my life in a way you cannot understand. It has also preserved it. Yes, I did not mention that my uncle is diabolical... a user of native charms who has to return to Nigeria to renew his evil power yearly. People die in our house every 4 years now and a lot of destinies have been tied down. He has poisoned me via food 2 times and tried to drive me mad 3 times - God stopped all five attempts. I can't feel my toes well till today from the first attempt in 1998. Check my profile you will see me pleading for advice from doctors in the health section just 2 moths back to save a woman's life. That was my stepmother, she is dead now from a simple leg injury that worsened and spread incredibly fast.

@Enculer my attempts to survive have been superhuman spiritually and physically, something 10 of you can never do. I'm neither poor nor lazy. I earn well above minimum wage in a job no one taught me to do or helped. I own 3 houses all to myself in Lagos and Imo state. I battle demons to a standstill, eat poison and live, render the powers of some of the most powerful prophets you know useless because God is my power. The only area you can taunt me is being unmarried at 39 due to the fact that I have not found a godly woman I like in a society so rotten.

Please, please go away both of you and let me mourn in peace.

1 Like

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Eze2000(m): 7:16pm On Oct 27, 2019

iammiracle1:
Terrible mentality, what of if you die ist? Let go and become way big yourself that you don't have to bank on andestral land to pepper" a perceived enemy.

My problem and solution not yours. I might even forgive at the end of the day. Who knows

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by ocheejeh: 7:26pm On Oct 27, 2019

Eze2000:
We have the same problem. My only uncle is a millionaire in the USA but never helped my father (who traied him) or his kids. We found our way ourselves.

I am waiting for him to die so I can block his burial on our ancestral land. I am the first son of a first son. I own it all

Careful boss! How d u know your uncle will die b4 you? I don't mean to upset/disrespect you boss but just to bring your eyes to the reality that Inside Life no one knows who will die first until it happens. � I meant no disrespect... Thanks boss

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Eze2000(m): 7:32pm On Oct 27, 2019

ocheejeh:
Careful boss! How d u know your uncle will die b4 you? I don't mean to upset/disrespect you boss but just to bring your eyes to the reality that Inside Life no one knows who will die first until it happens. � I meant no disrespect... Thanks boss

If I die before him then there is no God. Sin as you like. My heart bleeds in a way no man can heal. Read my last post just above

1 Like

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Ibime(m): 7:39pm On Oct 27, 2019

southpole:
Or why should the man take care of his wife more than how he does to his siblings? This is the type of question being asked in some families where the siblings see the in-law as a parasite

I don't know what gives you boldness to put forward this opinion.

Bible says a man leaves his father and mother and takes a wife, and the two become one flesh. His wife, and by extension his children are 100 times more important than his siblings. A man will always take care of his children more than his siblings. The wife is just a beneficiary of being the caregiver to his children.

I always wondered why many big men I knew growing up would have brothers who were struggling. In my mind then, I could never be rich while my brothers were poor. That was until I had children and realised that I also have to make sure they are comfortable when they become adults. That means my children could have trust funds now while my brother could be struggling.

Let me tell you, a man can let his sibling die if the money for his siblings' hospital fees is the same he needs to pay his childrens school fees.

1 Like

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Nobody: 7:55pm On Oct 27, 2019

Eze2000:
If I die before him then there is no God. Sin as you like. My heart bleeds in a way no man can heal. Read my last post just above

Nwoke òma, u can heal, ì nùgo.
Forgive but don't forget so u will have inner peace.

1 Like

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Fhemmmy: 8:06pm On Oct 27, 2019

sassysure:
Lots of family members don't normally accept the woman thwir brother or son presented to them initially. Some shows open hostility, animosity etc but thatdoes not stop the man from relating with his family members.
The guy has his reason but it's not because they rejected his wife in the beginning.
The wife is friendly with them now.
He even abandoned his mum.

He should be happy they are more than 2.
Others should relate well with the wife and children.
A time wiĺl come when his kids will ask him pressing questions about his family.

He is cold hearted. U can still be a brother without giving.

One day, may be when it's too late, he will look back and see how much he missed.

The man said his own and how many out there never said their? How do you know that those that never said anything aren't dying inside?
Let is start to be real, It is hard for us to pass judgement based on one side without hearing from the man
And what us think that the time will not come for the rest of the family to regret ever coming between the man and his wife? It is always a two way street jooooooo

1 Like

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Fhemmmy: 8:08pm On Oct 27, 2019

Maldini213:
You got it figured out
They where against him marrying his wife
Women are necessary evil

As men, we are only lousy but the wife run the show, so a man or family that want peace, just love the wife jejely and everyone will be fine, please note, i am not saying kiss the as*s of the woman, but i am saying love and respect her, treat her the way you will like to be treated if she is your sister or if you are in her shoes.

1 Like

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Fhemmmy: 8:10pm On Oct 27, 2019

southpole:
Or why should the man take care of his wife more than how he does to his siblings? This is the type of question being asked in some families where the siblings see the in-law as a parasite

Because so shall a man leave his father and mother and cling to his wife which makes them one, and when you try to break them, you are just writing your own Obituary

2 Likes

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by subcbouy: 8:16pm On Oct 27, 2019

vikkyndu:
I have experienced this, trust me, I resulted to brain reset, my primary responsibility is first to my immediate family, my wife and my children, then to my mum, if she decides to give them all I give her good luck, anything outside this will be voluntary contributions not mandatory responsibility. I hope this help you.

I could deduce you are broke, but little is much when love is in it.

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by RTSC: 8:22pm On Oct 27, 2019

Work hard to prevent insult and see finish.

On a normal day, your sister in law should be the one disturbing you to remember her children.

Make money.

1 Like

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Nobody: 8:25pm On Oct 27, 2019

Fhemmmy:
The man said his own and how many out there never said their? How do you know that those that never said anything aren't dying inside?
Let is start to be real, It is hard for us to pass judgement based on one side without hearing from the man
And what us think that the time will not come for the rest of the family to regret ever coming between the man and his wife? It is always a two way street jooooooo

They already regretted and apologised.
They have moved on with the wife.
What again do u want them to do?
If it's be sure of this, he is very revengful and should be kept at arm's length.
What about his mother?
He don't want to forgive her 2?

Lots of wives are living with families that hate them.
Even though the husband don't want their interference in his marriage, he shield his nuclear family away from extended yet has ways he communicate with his extended. It's very rampant occurance.

My submission was that he may have his reason but this shouldn't be part of it else he is a very cold hearted man.

2 Likes

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by midnighter(f): 8:26pm On Oct 27, 2019

RTSC:
Work hard to prevent insult and see finish.

On a normal day, your sister in law should be the one disturbing you to remember her children.

Make money.

As in, this topic is bringing up all kinds of horrible stories

People really wouldn't want to associate with someone undergoing a challenge

And at the same time some people who are having a challenge won't want to help themselves

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by subcbouy: 8:26pm On Oct 27, 2019

[quote author=rawitools post=83511144][/quote]Amen!
Family landmarks very important in family bond and oneness. I think, op parents may have failed in putting this landmark, except, for any reason a member deviated from it.

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Adegokenath(m): 8:32pm On Oct 27, 2019

johnmba:
Fellow NL . Am bringing this issue to seek advice.

I come from a family of 7, we are all graduates except the first son who is into business. The second son is very very rich,he works with a big multinational company.

When we were growing up he hardly play with us the younger ones but he was close to the first son. But he totally changed after he got married 15years ago. Though our parents did not initially support his marriage because of the girls background (her father died and the mum went back to her house with the daughter) and her character too. My brother got angry and said nobody should visit him or ask him for money. He used to help us in school.

Later my parents accepted and gave their support but since then my brothers attitude towards us really changed. Each time I visit him , he does not give me money in the presence of the wife. Also he usually give me money to go and eat outside because she hardly cook(maybe cos of the initial rejection)

The way he talks to the first son is degrading and he hardly pick our calls. The first son business is not moving at all but he does not care though he has given him money and car some years back and they don't talk to each other again. On several occasions people have told the third son why his brother refused to help his family. They said he helps people alot in the multinational company and he is a very nice guy.

Please what do we do? I don't want this separation to continue till death.. Our children are watching and I want us to relate as brothers and sisters.

Nb.
Nobody is calling him to ask for money. Am an engineer but works in a hospital. All we want is that brotherly love. Since I finished school I have not asked him for money likewise some of my siblings.

How do we bring him back

can you give me his number so that I can hear from his side

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Bahddo(m): 8:33pm On Oct 27, 2019

If you oppose my marriage, you better not come back and start forming family when the woman you called evil is helping me succeed in life.

You didn't stand by him when he was going to get married, when he needed family support. You let him down because of your personal bias. Now that he is successful, you want to reap where you did not sow. Rubbish.

I hope God gives him the power to protect his wife and kids from the vultures.

2 Likes

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Nobody: 8:38pm On Oct 27, 2019

iammiracle1:
Terrible mentality, what of if you die ist? Let go and become way big yourself that you don't have to bank on andestral land to pepper" a perceived enemy.

he no go die first. If u are the same with his brother u better bond up with your brothers. Nonsense even Jesus was introduced by john the Baptist.

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Bahddo(m): 8:39pm On Oct 27, 2019

sassysure:
Lots of family members don't normally accept the woman thwir brother or son presented to them initially. Some shows open hostility, animosity etc but thatdoes not stop the man from relating with his family members.
The guy has his reason but it's not because they rejected his wife in the beginning.
The wife is friendly with them now.
He even abandoned his mum.

He should be happy they are more than 2.
Others should relate well with the wife and children.
A time wiĺl come when his kids will ask him pressing questions about his family.

He is cold hearted. U can still be a brother without giving.

One day, may be when it's too late, he will look back and see how much he missed.

he isn't missing anything. What is family if they cannot respect your choice of a mate and give you support? You cannot slap someone and dictate how they should feel about it or how they should react to it.

You weren't there when they were opposing; you don't know what they said or did; don't play the judge.

2 Likes

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Nobody: 8:40pm On Oct 27, 2019

Bahddo:
If you oppose my marriage, you better not come back and start forming family when the woman you called evil is helping me succeed in life.

You didn't stand by him when he was going to get married, when he needed family support. You let him down because of your personal bias. Now that he is successful, you want to reap where you did not sow. Rubbish.

I hope God gives him the power to protect his wife and kids from the vultures.

u dey mad. If they did not stand by him na he still dey alive. What happened to growing up days when dey fend for each other.

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Bahddo(m): 8:45pm On Oct 27, 2019

rawitools:
u dey mad. If they did not stand by him na he still dey alive. What happened to growing up days when dey fend for each other.

God is the one that gives life and sustains it.

What's the relationship between 'standing by him when he wanted to get married' and 'being alive' though?

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by RexTramadol1: 8:48pm On Oct 27, 2019

chidekings:
The worst that can happen to a man is to be the only rich man in one family.

That's why it's better he lifts another up

So that one also can lift another up

And the circle goes on

2 Likes

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Bahddo(m): 8:49pm On Oct 27, 2019

Creamcustard:
@OP
It is shocking how you have downplayed the huge contribution your brother has made to your lives.He is your sibling and not your parent and yet he was paying fees, giving money for business and he even gave a car.You even said he did not deprive himself of anything to make these sacrifices.No wonder he avoids all of you.

You are saying no one is asking for money or anything but your posts are saying otherwise: 1. you have mentioned that people wonder why your brother works in shell and you an engineer in a hospital
2. You have said your elder brother is not moving. 3. He wanted to marry and did not receive any support from your family but got criticism on top of it.

Let's not kid ourselves here, once he let's you all in, the requests will start piling in.

It is extremely off putting and creates strains in relationships.

Maybe your brother cut you all off so he and his nuclear family can progress, i imagine if he kept carrying you all, he would be stuck catering to you forever and depriving his family of the kind of lifestyle appropriate.

The fact that he would rather render assistance to strangers than to you all speaks volumes and reinforces the fact that he must see you all as life draining and toxic to his well being.

Fortunately, relationships cannot be forced. Pour your energy into making yourself rich too and focus on your own family.

thank you! Couldn't have put it any better.

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Bahddo(m): 8:52pm On Oct 27, 2019

Creamcustard:
@johnmba

I noticed you said the change started once he got married 15 years ago and also went on to slate the wife's background.

Are you trying to blame his wife for the change in behaviour?

You all rejected and criticised someone he loves and he stood up for her.Some men do not tolerate things like that and your brother is clearly one of them.They have been married for 15 years ,hopefully happily which shows he probably made the right decision for himself.

You cannot seek a relationship with him without mending fences with her.

One of the reasons why he is not associating with you is the treatment meted out to her by you all if i'm to go by what you wrote.Perhaps you should start from there and eat the humble pie.

He does not even associate with his own parents, even his mother..what did you guys do to him/his wife that caused him to dissociate to this extent? It can't be as simple as you painted it.

Some people once they turn their backs on you, depending on their grievances would never ever reconsider, sadly that is how life is.

chai! Stop reading my thoughts! cool

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Nobody: 8:54pm On Oct 27, 2019

Bahddo:
God is the one that gives life and sustains it.

What's the relationship between 'standing by him when he wanted to get married' and 'being alive' though?

yeah God gives u people u call brothers and sisters too no excuse rubbish.in other words no woman should come between u and your blood.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by midnighter(f): 8:56pm On Oct 27, 2019

Eze2000:
When they say Nigerian youths are useless

Hm! wow.

Sorry for your loss

Excuse me but couldnt the Canadian consulate replace his papers?

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Bahddo(m): 9:08pm On Oct 27, 2019

rawitools:
yeah God gives u people u call brothers and sisters too no excuse rubbish.in other words no woman should come between u and your blood.

God's word, the Bible, says a man would LEAVE his father and his mother and STICK to his wife, and they would become ONE FLESH.

So it's actually the other way round. No one should come between you and your wife. Both of you are ONE flesh.

The only literal example of one flesh among humans is Siamese twins. Imagine twins joined (for example, at the stomach or head) - if one dies, the other cannot survive. That's how close your marriage mate should be.

1 Like

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by zone51: 9:12pm On Oct 27, 2019

johnmba:
Fellow NL . Am bringing this issue to seek advice.

I come from a family of 7, we are all graduates except the first son who is into business. The second son is very very rich,he works with a big multinational company.

How do we bring him back

He's adhering to warning from the ritualist that did the ritual for him. Just pray to God for his mercy. cool

Re: My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... by Eze2000(m): 9:12pm On Oct 27, 2019

midnighter:
Hm! wow.

Sorry for your loss

Excuse me but couldnt the Canadian consulate replace his papers?

It was right after the civil war. Everything was chaotic and difficult to accomplish then. I understand he tried but failed then took up a teaching job. And that is how I became the son of a teacher.

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