₦airaland Forum

femtex007:
Lets say. Love conquers all. Most of those divorcees are regretting their actions

Plead:
Women who don’t have a tangible source of income shouldn’t be getting married! They won’t hear ... let them continue rushing into marriage without money/job

97% of women who stay in abusive (physical or emotional ) marriages are staying because they lack funds to get their lives all together again if they leave . They depend on their husbands for survival and as such can’t leave irrespective of the treatment being meted to them . Such a shame

computergeek:
Update On The Wife Battery Case: She Went Back To The Abusive Man

What's up people? This is an update thread on the wife battery case. This one might also be a bit lengthy, so bear with me. Lots of people have been asking me about the case, and I had to make this update to fill everyone in at once.

So about two weeks ago I brought an issue here about my neighbor who usually watches my four-year-old boy for me.

Read the previous thread here:

https://www.nairaland.com/5483166/wife-battery-should-drop-police

Just a little summary. She's a stay-at-home mom of two with a nursing baby and a boy who is my son's age. I used to leave work to pick the two boys up and take them to her house while I return to my office. I didn't know this before, but her husband is a very abusive man and my son unfortunately witnessed him beat her to near death twice.

The second time, he was the one that called me with her phone and I came and took her to hospital.

The issue then was that she didn't want to go ahead with the police case my husband and I filed for her. The man nearly murdered her and threatened over the phone to kill her if she ever comes back to his house. We had the call recorded but she insisted that he was only angry and would calm down soon enough.


She begged us not to call her family or report to anyone, that she can handle it by herself. One of her friends came to help her in the hospital while I took her one-year-old girl with me. I actually insisted.

,......

So that terrible incident happened on a Friday, while I created the thread on a Sunday. On Thursday, the evil man finally came home. He hadn't called once to ask of his children. His son David was in the hospital and wasn't even going to school that week. I had to take the little baby to my office with me, and my only luck is that she's not the feisty sort.

He didn't come over to my house to check on the girl. I wasn't even sure he knew that she was with me. A fence separates our house and theirs but I heard his car rev in for the first time in days.

My husband and I had decided to bring her family into the case rather than just let it die off like that. We contacted her elder brother without her knowledge and told him everything. They are local people but we felt he would be more enlightened than others. He told us he would take things from there and that we should go and withdraw the police report. At least, we had done our bit and cleared our consciences.

My son kept asking me when David would resume school, but I told him to let David be with his mom. I didn't know how to tell the kid that he wouldn't be staying at David's house after school again. I can't have him in a toxic environment. I'd started picking him up and bringing him back to the office with me, and that's how I intend to keep things for now.


The lady came home last Friday, after about a week in the hospital. She called me everyday to ask after her child and I visited once with the baby while she was still at the hospital. She still has bandages on her arms and face and still can't open her left eye properly. She came to my house in the evening with her younger sister to collect her baby. I noticed she was embarrassed. She just said a word of thanks and demanded for the girl. I packed the girl's things (even the ones I bought with my money) and handed her over.

Before she left, she told me not to worry about David anymore, that she would start going to get him herself. I told her that even though my son returns to my office with me now, I can still pick up her son because I have to pass the street's entrance on my way back to work. She could be waiting for him whenever I'm about to drive by. She said no. That she'll be fine.

Well, we did our bit. We took some pieces of advice here and got her family involved. But we withdrew the police case for peace to reign. The woman has vehemently refused to take her life and kids seriously, but we've done our best. I don't know what her brother did, but I think he spoke to the lady's husband. I remembered seeing her on Thursday when I went to get my son from school. She was waiting to pick up David. I greeted her and offered them a ride. She refused, saying she'll order an O'Trike (Keke Napep that's like Uber).

Well, everybody should dey their own dey. God knows I've tried.

Thank you all for the advice and genuine guidance. For those who were more concerned about my son because of the violence he witnessed, he's fine. He misses playing with David and Sandra, but my network admin has two boys aged 5 and 8 who also hang out in the office after school. At least my son gets to play with them in the conference room. He's happy and I'm keeping him occupied with activities so his mind won't switch on those memories. My husband enrolled him in a new kids' football club and they go to play on Wednesday and Saturday evenings.

The best security a woman can have is her own gainful source of income. If that woman has something doing, I'm not sure she'd go back to an adulterer who beat her with the intent to murder. Women, please be careful with your lives. Think about your kids. If you die, who will look after them? Don't let society pressurize into marrying beasts.

cococandy:
She’s a virtuous woman.

By NL misogynistic standards.

Maybe she’s on this forum and reads the posts.
Doesn’t want anyone to call her olosho who can’t keep her marriage.

Asetime:
Your statement about "not knowing the full story" implies so. You don't have to sound all brash to pass a message across.

crackhaus:
I repeat again...if you don't understand a comment, ask for clarification.
I'm only responsible for what I type, not what you 'imply' from it.

Unlike you and most others who needs the OP to create a follow-up thread before figuring out that she needed to have minded her business after getting the woman to the hospital, some of us who are more intuitive only need to read one single post and see a dead-end.

Asetime:
If only you understand that essence to life is more about doing your best for the benefit of your neighbour and not about winning a case or not. O well, we see the world through our own eyes

femtex007:
Lets say. Love conquers all. Most of those divorcees are regretting their actions

femtex007:
Lets say. Love conquers all. Most of those divorcees are regretting their actions

seunmohmoh:
97% is not because of money.

crackhaus:
Getting her to the hospital and getting in touch with the friend she asked for, is all the best the OP needed to do.

Any other thing that was done after the victim herself told her to withdraw the police case is oversabi, because she does not know the full story of what is going on between husband and wife.

Plead:
Women who don’t have a tangible source of income shouldn’t be getting married! They won’t hear ... let them continue rushing into marriage without money/job

97% of women who stay in abusive (physical or emotional ) marriages are staying because they lack funds to get their lives all together again if they leave . They depend on their husbands for survival and as such can’t leave irrespective of the treatment being meted to them . Such a shame

Ebonygirl1:
If your wife can provide all she needs and cater for herself, what exactly is your use? She might as well remain single.

crackhaus:
You are surprised she went back?

What did you think was going to happen especially with this particular story? I mean really.
I read all the comments on that thread all talking about police this, police that, some even talking about how boys should be arranged to go and deal with the man.
That's exactly what the internet does to people - they create another version of the world they live in and pretend that's how it is for real.

My comment to you then was simple - take your child out of the situation, call her friend who she asked for to come to the hospital, and then move on because you had done all you could do.

Meanwhile, you still don't know the full story like I noted on the other thread.
Now the woman is even trying to avoid you, lol. Classic.

Anyway, you try.

crackhaus:
Getting her to the hospital and getting in touch with the friend she asked for, is all the best the OP needed to do.

Any other thing that was done after the victim herself told her to withdraw the police case is oversabi, because she does not know the full story of what is going on between husband and wife.

Ryan03:
its always like this. Lemme give you a short story. A woman passing through similar stuff went to report to the police after the last beating almost ended her life, the police decided to invite her husband over but she refused (later found out it were her neighbours who pressurized her into reporting). She said she only wanted to make a complaint, she dont want her husband arrested. You can't force a woman to do otherwise hence she was asked to leave cause such cases can't be incidented as complaint. Two weeks later, news came that she was dead, died from assault by her husband, he was arrested and charged to court, he pleaded not guilty, remanded in jail and case adjourned. My bro, the case still dey on, funny enough, they have four kids

femtex007:
Lets say. Love conquers all. Most of those divorcees are regretting their actions

cococandy:
Here’s one.

So the dead ones are not regretting their actions?
Only the divorced ones who ran away from bad situations?
Okay

seunmohmoh:
97% is not because of money.

computergeek:
Update On The Wife Battery Case: She Went Back To The Abusive Man

What's up people? This is an update thread on the wife battery case. This one might also be a bit lengthy, so bear with me. Lots of people have been asking me about the case, and I had to make this update to fill everyone in at once.

So about two weeks ago I brought an issue here about my neighbor who usually watches my four-year-old boy for me.

Read the previous thread here:

https://www.nairaland.com/5483166/wife-battery-should-drop-police

Just a little summary. She's a stay-at-home mom of two with a nursing baby and a boy who is my son's age. I used to leave work to pick the two boys up and take them to her house while I return to my office. I didn't know this before, but her husband is a very abusive man and my son unfortunately witnessed him beat her to near death twice.

The second time, he was the one that called me with her phone and I came and took her to hospital.

The issue then was that she didn't want to go ahead with the police case my husband and I filed for her. The man nearly murdered her and threatened over the phone to kill her if she ever comes back to his house. We had the call recorded but she insisted that he was only angry and would calm down soon enough.


She begged us not to call her family or report to anyone, that she can handle it by herself. One of her friends came to help her in the hospital while I took her one-year-old girl with me. I actually insisted.

,......

So that terrible incident happened on a Friday, while I created the thread on a Sunday. On Thursday, the evil man finally came home. He hadn't called once to ask of his children. His son David was in the hospital and wasn't even going to school that week. I had to take the little baby to my office with me, and my only luck is that she's not the feisty sort.

He didn't come over to my house to check on the girl. I wasn't even sure he knew that she was with me. A fence separates our house and theirs but I heard his car rev in for the first time in days.

My husband and I had decided to bring her family into the case rather than just let it die off like that. We contacted her elder brother without her knowledge and told him everything. They are local people but we felt he would be more enlightened than others. He told us he would take things from there and that we should go and withdraw the police report. At least, we had done our bit and cleared our consciences.

My son kept asking me when David would resume school, but I told him to let David be with his mom. I didn't know how to tell the kid that he wouldn't be staying at David's house after school again. I can't have him in a toxic environment. I'd started picking him up and bringing him back to the office with me, and that's how I intend to keep things for now.


The lady came home last Friday, after about a week in the hospital. She called me everyday to ask after her child and I visited once with the baby while she was still at the hospital. She still has bandages on her arms and face and still can't open her left eye properly. She came to my house in the evening with her younger sister to collect her baby. I noticed she was embarrassed. She just said a word of thanks and demanded for the girl. I packed the girl's things (even the ones I bought with my money) and handed her over.

Before she left, she told me not to worry about David anymore, that she would start going to get him herself. I told her that even though my son returns to my office with me now, I can still pick up her son because I have to pass the street's entrance on my way back to work. She could be waiting for him whenever I'm about to drive by. She said no. That she'll be fine.

Well, we did our bit. We took some pieces of advice here and got her family involved. But we withdrew the police case for peace to reign. The woman has vehemently refused to take her life and kids seriously, but we've done our best. I don't know what her brother did, but I think he spoke to the lady's husband. I remembered seeing her on Thursday when I went to get my son from school. She was waiting to pick up David. I greeted her and offered them a ride. She refused, saying she'll order an O'Trike (Keke Napep that's like Uber).

Well, everybody should dey their own dey. God knows I've tried.

Thank you all for the advice and genuine guidance. For those who were more concerned about my son because of the violence he witnessed, he's fine. He misses playing with David and Sandra, but my network admin has two boys aged 5 and 8 who also hang out in the office after school. At least my son gets to play with them in the conference room. He's happy and I'm keeping him occupied with activities so his mind won't switch on those memories. My husband enrolled him in a new kids' football club and they go to play on Wednesday and Saturday evenings.

The best security a woman can have is her own gainful source of income. If that woman has something doing, I'm not sure she'd go back to an adulterer who beat her with the intent to murder. Women, please be careful with your lives. Think about your kids. If you die, who will look after them? Don't let society pressurize into marrying beasts.

cococandy:
She’s a virtuous woman.

By NL misogynistic standards.

Maybe she’s on this forum and reads the posts.
Doesn’t want anyone to call her olosho who can’t keep her marriage.